Quotes: Delusions of Eloquence

aka: Shlubb And Klump English
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"I thought everyone was gonna eat the chips
Turns out I'm the only one who doubled-dipped
Robin Thicke, "Black Tar Cloud"

Jerry: Yeah, you know, American college kids. They come over here to take their third year and lap up a little culture. They give me a swift pain.
Milo: Why?
Jerry: They're officious and dull. They're always making profound observations they've overheard.

Redd White: Welcome! Please furnish me with the title of your personage! [beat] Your name! What's your name? I was just inquirably asking the title that you go by.
Phoenix Wright: Uh... Wright. Phoenix Wright.
Redd White: Mr. Wright, is it? Right, I see... Splendiferous. Perhaps I have intimidated you with my giantesque vocabulary...? I'm Redd White, CEO of Bluecorp. You know, Corporate Expansion Official? My business dealings bring me into contact with the elite of the elite. So I'm afraid I am not used to conversing with the wordily-challenged.

This is shit up with which we will not put!
Brenda, Scary Movie 4

Oops! Sorry! Hope that didn't disturb you... It was the sound of books. Pages being turned, books. So I'm NOT a moron.
Wheatley, Portal 2

    real life 

When he met me, he whined, 'How does it feel to be an on-font-tarribull?'
Gore Vidal on Truman Capote, Palimpsest

The gamut of my career will run in all facets as I progress.
David Boreanaz, thespian

Freeza: God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
Goku: Well, now you're just acting transcendent.

Those who dismiss Chester 'Chet Haze' Hanks as a lightweight merely because he is the hilariously un-self-aware rapping son of Hollywood legend Tom Hanks risk making fools of themselves. Chet Haze is a theological thinker of uncommon zeal...We mourn the death of Christopher Hitchens for many reasons—the strongest of which is that he escaped being eviscerated by the rhetorical razor of Chet Haze, a fate he most richly deserved.

Here's a challenge. Tell me what this sentence, from [Armond] White's review of the new version of The Taking Of Pelham 123, means: "Audiences who enjoyed the original 1974 Pelham 123 took its grungy dangerousness as a realistic confirmation of their own citizens' distrust." Now here's the rub: I don't want to know what you think it means, what you infer it means when you put it through your own personal White decoder ring, no; I want to know what the words in the sentence as they are actually written actually mean. As, you know, an actual copy editor would understand them. Because an actual copy editor would tell you that the sentence is gibberish.

Felipe Coronel, better known as Immortal Technique, is an underground rapper and conspiracy theorist. Despite his left-wing activism he is apparently on pretty good terms with Alex Jones, and certainly shares much of the latter’s notorious paranoia....And yes, the Coronel’s lunacy is pretty much off the charts; not even Alex Jones has, to my knowledge, tried to argue that The Illuminati grew stronger after Jesus died for our sins.” The idea of “genetically engineered HIV,” which Coronel attributes to rightwing politicians, freemasons and Satanic Illuminati agents (that’s apparently one single group), is more mainstream, as is his ideas of mind control through MKULTRA. Evidence? Coronel can make it rhyme.

Alternative Title(s):

Shlubb And Klump English