Quotes / Daring Do

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    Multiple Occurrence Quotes 
"Another day, another dungeon!"
Daring Do (frequently — though with variants, such as "Another day, another lesson.")

Ahuizotl (a lot.)

    Sapphire Stone 

Darrin: I take it you have a map of this island?
Daring: Yeah. (gets it out of her saddlebag.) Took me three hours in the campus library to track this down.
Darrin: That long? Couldn't you have got one of the pages to help?
Daring: The only one on call was Herpynote , and with his track record it would have taken us five hours.

    Griffin's Goblet 
Platinius: Hopefully, with that out of the way, we can continue on. Now, as I was saying, there is concern about gem imports potentially depressing the economy over in...
Ambassador Hawkwings: Aaaaaand another shing... how do you poniesh even pick shingsh up with your hoooovesh? I've been here for yearsh and I shtill don't figure know out how. You don't have clawsh like minotaursh or talonsh like dragonsh or fingersh like we mighty griffonsh... *thump*
(awkward silence)
Office Temp: That's the ambassador of the griffon homelands?
Platinius: Yes.
Office Temp: And you are the assistant?
Platinius: Yes.
Office Temp: And it isn't the other way around because...?
Platinius: Well, it's kind of our shtick. For the love of your Celestia, please ruin it.
Daring Do and The Griffon's Goblet

Night Wing Lieutenant: We're moving out soon. Once we deal with Daring Do, the Goblet will be in our cla.. *hurk!* *gets shot*
Storm: *Dressed as a pirate* Avast ye scurvy ninja dogs! Ye be trespassing on our turf, and we pirates don't take kindly to ninja incursions!
Platinius: *Also dressed as a pirate* Uh... Yeah! Come and get us! Arr!!!
Night Wing Lieutenant: Pirates! Argh! Forget the Goblet! Let the others deal with it. For now, our blood enemies call out to us! I want their gizzards for shooting me!
Storm: Good, that should give Daring some breathing room.
Platinius: I can't believe that worked.
Storm: I told you, the enmity between pirate and ninja runs pretty bucking deep.
Daring Do and The Griffon's Goblet

    Curse of the Yeti 
(Daring and Herpy are hiding in the university's geology lab from a yeti.)
Daring: Herpy, when I say run, run.
Herpy: Have you thought up some clever plan, Professor?
Daring: Yes, Herpy, I believe I have.
Herpy: What are you going to do?
Daring: Buck a rock at it.
—>— Daring Do and the Curse of the Yeti

Storm Talon: Look, I'm too bucking old to hold a grudge. So here's something I should have said a long time ago: I'm sorry.
Daren: You managed to be there for my kids these last few years while I wasn't. That's worth far more to me than any apology, old friend.
Daring Do and the Curse of the Yeti

    Razor of Dreams 
Sparkleworks: Caballeron double-crossed us, Ahuizotl has the razor—
Daring: Don't you dare ask if anything else could go wrong!
Storm Talon: #$%^! My leg!
Tex: The universe heard you, Daring.
Daring Do and the Razor of Dreams

    Platinum Crown 
Derring: (upon witnessing the results of a drinking contest Daring was in) I see you're using your pay as wisely as ever, sister dear.
Daring Do and the Platinum Crown

Herpy: Well, your friend [Bravado] learned a valuable lesson today.
Daring: What was that?
Herpy: You do not want to be kicked in the face by a professional adventurer.
Daring Do and the Platinum Crown

Darrin: I understand why you wouldn't want to have to raise us. You had dreams. You had your own life to live. Fair enough. But did you have to take it out on us? It wasn't like we were thrilled with the situation, either! Do you think having to be cared for by a moody, cocky spoiled brat because our father ran out on us was our first choice? Do you?! Because it wasn't! And you were so horrible about accepting it, too! You just complained and treated us like we wanted you to be held back! We didn't want that! We're siblings, Derring! Siblings are supposed to want the best for one another! And they are not supposed to just skip out on their younger siblings the second one of them turns eighteen! Would it have killed you to say goodbye?! Leave a note?! Call us every now and then?! And when we finally run into you — after seven years, I may add! — you don't even bother to say, "Hey, how's your life been since I ditched you with no explanation?" Derring, you're my older sister, and I love you, but I have one thing to say to you: GROW UP.
Daring Do and the Platinum Crown

    Wooden Mask 
Desert Rose: That hat — where do you get all those teeth?
Outback Jack: Crocodiles. Any time I'm setting up a campsite I end up having to fight a few off before I get the fire set up. The more persistent they are, the more teeth they leave behind. Half of these are from Billabong here.
Desert Rose: You beat up your own pet for hat decorations?!
Outback Jack: He wasn't my pet then. This is the result of a battle that took us eight days and five nights.
Desert Rose: Wait, how does that — that's not the bucking point! How do you justify this kind of brutality? Surely you could find a better way at warding them off!
Outback Jack: Probably, but I don't know — there's just something about bucking the teeth out of a scaly-back that brightens up my whole day.
Desert Rose: You count yourself lucky I can't always control these eyes.
Daring Do and the Wooden Mask

    Gardens of Equestria 
Ahuizotl: Confound these wretched plants! For every one I fling away, a dozen more vex me!
Daring Do and the Gardens of Equestria

    Alicorn's Shadow 
Mareton: So go ahead, turn me in. Perhaps they'll even get your name right this time.
Derring: ...What are you talking about?
Mareton: Oh, no need to pretend around me, Miss Do. I've read the papers. Some over-eager young newspony hears the latest story about one Derring Do finding the latest long-lost artifact. And after all, you and your sister's name sound so similar, it's a wonder anypony can tell you two apart.
Derring: (all traces of smile gone) That's enough. Get moving.
Mareton: And I can only imagine how awkward it must get when some foal asks for your autograph, then gets all sad and dejected when he realizes it's not the right Daring Do.
Derring: I said stop it.
Mareton: How nice of your beloved sister to repay you like that. Years of looking after your two brats of younger siblings after your father skipped out on you, and what do you have to show for it? A sister who steals your thunder by finding more hidden treasures than you ever could and getting credit for the ones you find.
Derring: STOP IT!
Mareton: But I honestly can't blame your father for that. What father would want to waste his time with an eldest child who can't even take the reins of her own life, no matter how much she talks about it? Little Derring Do, always wanting to be the best, to leave everypony else in the dust. Never letting on that, deep down, she's nothing but a scared little child who doesn't want to be left all alone. What a disappointment you must have been to him. And do you know why, you whining brat?
Derring: (crying) Please... stop it...
Mareton: It's because you aren't main character material. In the great big stage play that is your sister's life, you're nothing but a supporting character. You're a cog in the machine. A footnote in history. You're not your own pony, you're a sheep that thinks it's a wolf. And you can never change that, no matter how hard you try. No matter how many lost civilizations you find, bad guys you stop, or lives you save, you will never be anything more than "Daring Do's Sister."
Daring Do and the Alicorn's Shadow

Mirror Dreams: You are a grand adventurer, Miss Do, and a veritable expert in you field, but you have no appreciation for the subtleties of magic that center around the artifacts you have such respect for. If yours is the attitude indicative of your fellows, then I pity this generation.
Daring Do and the Alicorn's Shadow

    Cove of Candles 
Short Stuff: (after crashing into the Jade Dragon) WOW! Holy smoke! Crash landing!
Daring Do: (grabs Starlight and jumps onto the wagon attached to scooter) Short Stuff get us outta here!
Short Stuff: Okie dokie Doctor Do! Hold onto your potato!
Miss Starlight: (mortified) Is that... a filly... on a scooter?!
Daring Do and the Cove of Candles

Daring Do: Short Stuff! Peihe ni ti de shenzi!
(short Stuff nods and ties her hoof to the rope bridge)
Short Stuff: (to Starlight) Hang on lady, we going for a ride!
(Starlight sees Daring's machete and the perilously weak rope)
Miss Starlight: (in shock) By Celestia... she's mad! She's absolutely mad!
Short Stuff: She no mad lady... she crazy!
Daring Do and the Cove of Candles

Unicorn Guard: Here's the harbor. Be on the next boat out of town.
Swinn: Thank you so much for your hospitality, constable.
Dell: And for escorting us in this seedy town.
Constable: If you two con artists aren't on that boat when it leaves, I'll show real hospitality — in the cooler!
Daring Do and the Cove of Candles

Daring: How much time do you spend thinking up these things?
Ahuizotl: If you'd actually stick around long enough in one of them to die, I wouldn't have to keep trying to top the last one!
Daring Do and the Cove of Candles

    Temple of Nightmare Moon 
Nagridge: (referring to Doris the donkey) And who is this?
Darrin: This is my marefriend, Doris.
Nagridge: Oh. Okay.
Darrin: That's it? I was expecting... more from you.
Nagridge: You're a pegasus, not a unicorn. Why should I care if you choose to associate with one of the lesser races?
(Darrin has to be magically restrained by Page and Header)
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Daren: Hey Storm! I'll race ya!
Storm: No way, my racing days are over.
Daren: You got to be kidding me! What happened to the guy that boasted the Wonderbolts would make an exception for him?
Storm: That was decades ago, Daren, back when I had all my original limbs and didn't take a wing-full of %^*(ing shrapnel.
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Page: Boss, if we want to get rid of the chimera, maybe we can get their ambassador to do something. I heard he's petty and the "good professor" smacked him in the face, so he's bound to have a grudge.
Nagridge: Of all the great ideas I've heard, that's certainly not one of them.
Page: Hey!
Nagridge: Did you ever consider the many ways that could go wrong? Hawkwings looks down on ponies almost like we look down on griffons, the only difference being we're actually justified in our attitudes. And that's not the only reason why he's an imbecile, my sources tell me the he's here because he knows people in high places, ones that don't want around them to mess things up back home. Plus, there's that subordinate of his, the one that actually does give a load of horse apples. I don't say this about most chimeras in that he's actually competent, though he is obviously an outlier. Unfortunately, he'd be working against us. And lastly, if that idiot were to bungle things while trying to get rid of Professor Talon, he could hide behind diplomatic immunity, while we'd be left out to dry.
Daring Do and the Temple Of Nightmare Moon

Commander Moonbarker: No, every one of them is here.
Laurentia of the Red Mane: Then where is Herpy?
Gamma Buster: Herpy who? Who the chaos are you talking ab—
Gamma Fang: (aside to Buster) Down, idiot.
Laurentia: WHERE?
Moonbarker: Fine, you pathetic Celestia wannabe. He's downstairs, having developed a sudden interest in mining.
Fang: (aside, to Buster) Uh-oh.
Laurentia: (in a dangerously calm voice) Meow. (epic plot-kicking follows)
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Page: No way! She didn't need to turn ponies into dragons to pull a chariot to create eternal night. She could do it all on her own!
Header: But he could turn ponies into dragons that served him. He'd have the greater power-base. The whole reason the night princess turned evil in the first place was because nopony liked her. Besides, she could be distracted by candy!
Nagridge: Hey idiots, I've got an idea: instead of talking about who would win in a crazy mythological mashup between Nightmare Moon and Tirek, you can help me plant blackmail material on Professor Do. Besides, Nightmare Moon needed the Elements of Harmony wielded by the day princess just to stop her, while Tirek was destroyed by a mere friendship rainbow harnessed by a filthy monkey.
Daring Do and the Temple Of Nightmare Moon

Ahuizotl: Nothing like a class full of hostages to get cooperation.
Okpono: (entering) Before you can take them, see, you'll have to go through me.
Ahuizotl: Don't make me laugh. I've heard of you; you couldn't hurt a mosquito. (attacks Okpono, who tears him three new plots)
Daring Do and the Temple Of Nightmare Moon

Nagridge: (obviously soused) Nononononononono! Yesee yesee, Starswirl the Bearded was the greatest unicorn who ever lived. Only immortal Alicorns are more powerful... Why... I bet he could win in a fight with the Legendary and Great and Powerful Beast of Chaos...
Page: (also soused) Oh come on... supposedly the Princeseseses needed help to stop him...
Nagridge: Nononono, y'see, they needed the magical artifacts to keep the collateral damage to a minimum. If Starswirl could fight him someplace nopony cares about, like in the griffon or minotaur capitals, why, he could probably do it blindfolded and minus his staff.
Header: (again, soused) Blind and staffless? That's pushing it, even for you...
Page: Wasn't the whole Great Beast of Chaos thing just an extended metaphor to the troubles the Princesses had when establishing their rule?
Nagridge: Who cares? We're talking about crazy mythological mashups, wasted at a bar, not some deep allegorical analysisisis.
Daring Do and the Temple Of Nightmare Moon

Storm: What are you doing, Herpy?
Herpy: I'm... Oh, what does it look like? I'm trying to steal this airship! Daring's in trouble and we need to help her!
Storm: Herpy, I'm very disappointed in you. I was hoping you'd know better.
Herpy: And what do you think we should do instead, huh? Just sit here? We're going to need all the help we can get!!
Storm: No, I mean you forgot to disable the backup clamps. You try taking off now, and all you'll do is make a big **&^ing screeching sound that will alert everyone in a few hundred yards that you're trying to steal an airship.
Herpy: Oh.
Storm: Here, let me. *Unlocks the clamps* Now I have to get back. Nagridge is up to something, and Dr. Rasa is going to need all the help she can get keeping her in check.
Herpy: Thanks Storm. Is there anything I can do to pay you back?
Storm: Don't mention it.
Herpy: Don't be modest, this means a lot to me.
Storm: No, I'm being literal. You ^&(*ing well get caught, I was never here.
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Mareton: Please, it's obvious you're trying to replace your kids with your old friend's. You took this post just so you could have an excuse to be near them after he went missing all these years and be the father they lost. That's not creepy at all.
Storm Talon: (punches Mareton in the teeth, runs past) Sorry, can't talk, I'm in a hurry. By the way, thanks for dealing with the traitor.
Mareton: (dazed) Marv? Why does my mouth taste like paaaaiiiiin?
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Daring: He's tough, any suggestions, dad?
Daren: Mareton's vain and likes to talk, he'll try to distract you, but don't listen! Block it out and power on through!
Daring: Wait, I like to talk too...
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

Daring: You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize you and Nagridge are Not So Different. You both like to hold yourselves above others with petty, self-aggrandizing standards, and use that as an excuse to do whatever you want to everypony else. But in the end, you're both just jerks!
Mareton: Blah blah blah.
Daring: However, I was with Nagridge in her last moments. Want to know something about her? She was sorry for everything she did, I could tell. And, let's not forget, she had a family that cared about her, and I know Page and Header didn't just follow her because they had to. But you? You're a remorseless psychopath who has nopony. So I take back what I said. You are different... because Nagridge was better than you!
Mareton: (eye twitch)
Daring Do and the Temple of Nightmare Moon

    Legacy of Nightmare Moon 
Daring: The Gala is so boring! How can you stand it?
Storm: I'm old enough to be able to enjoy these kinds of things. Besides, it's an excuse to watch Ambassador Hawkwings get completely salinated on salt licker.
Hawkwings: How do these ponies pick up their glasses with their hooves?
Daring Do and the Legacy of Nightmare Moon

Daring: OK, we have about thirty seconds before Inti catches up with us and firebombs the house. Any suggestions?
Herpy: Empty out the fridge, hide inside and pray that it can withstand a blast of dragon fire as intense as an atomic rainboom?
(Daring stares incredulously at Herpy for a good 15 seconds; she then runs over to the fridge and opens the door)
Daring: If we survive this, you can expect a thorough lecture on how insanely stupid this plan is.
(they do)
Daring: Now, as I was saying...
Daring Do and the Legacy of Nightmare Moon

Ambassador Hawkwings: I still don't get how ponies pick things up with their hooves without any claws.
Platinius: I've explained it to you fifteen times already.
Daring Do and the Legacy of Nightmare Moon

Daring: INTI! Prepare to meet Nightmare Moon! IN TARTARUS!
Coco Pie: ... I thought she was on the moon.
Daring Do and the Legacy of Nightmare Moon

(Nightmare Moon manifests, steals her power back, lays the smack down on Inti, and trots over his defeated body)
Nightmare Moon: So, you wish for the power of the evening's heaven, my reptilian friend? The power of the stars? My power? (whispers the next line in his ear) Then you shall have it.
(Nightmare Moon wraps Inti in star-made chains and casts him into the sky, turning him into the Dragon constellation)
Daring Do and the Legacy of Nightmare Moon

    Shrine of the Silver Monkey 
Ahuizotl: So you can quote Shih Tzu's "The Bark of War". What, do you want a doggy treat?
Rex: What I want is to rip your head off, stuff it full of poison and feed it to your cats. But for now, my mistress has asked me to work with you.
Daring Do and the Shrine of the Silver Monkey

Ahuizotl: (about to bash Digg's head against a rock): I can't believe you would defend this weak, simpering idiot!
Rex: That weak, simpering idiot is still one of mine!
Daring Do and the Shrine of the Silver Monkey

Beta Max: Smells like monkey. Haven't had monkey in ages.
Fifi: Large, hulking monkeys that walk like minotaurs.
Max: Should be pretty unsteady on their feet. Sic 'em!
Balthasar: (entering with Margarita) En garde to you, too. (with Margarita, kicks Diamond Dog tail)
Daring Do and the Shrine of the Silver Monkey

Ahuizotl: Then maybe I need to take control of your majesty, like Tirek did back in your father's reign.
King Scorpan: (through clenched teeth) Just try it.
Ahuizotl: Oh, I shall. By the power of Hydia, I— (Scorpan lays into him)
(Gilligan Cut)
Scorpan: Blast. Dinged the scepter.
Daring Do and the Shrine of the Silver Monkey

    Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded 
Lightning Kicker: Looking forward to the trip?
Storm: If nothing else, it'll get me away from Miss Jumbo. She keeps insisting I eat all my ^&(#ing vegetables. I don't think she quite gets I'm a hybrid of two carnivores. I can only eat so many plants before they start decorating the walls.
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

Arthur: I blow my nose at you, you silly pony!
Linnet: ...what a strange pony.
Arthur: I blow a raspberry in your general direction!
Linnet: Yeah? Well, I request that you get off my porch, you son of a silly pony!
Arthur: Go boil your tail, you maggot!
Linnet: Your mother was a parasprite and your father smelt of griffon droppings. Now, get off my property, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Arthur: ...taunting brat...
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

Storm: I wouldn't go to that place. My sister tells me the owners ^&*(ing called her a "feathercat" and wouldn't serve her. When I'm out of recovery I'm going to give them a piece of my mind!
Lightning Kicker: Oh, Chocolate Danish seemed like a nice pony. I guess I'll try the place down the street. I hear Mr. Trot has good prices. See ya!
Storm: Hmm... why does that name sound familiar?
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

Daring: Hey prof, how you doing?
Storm Talon: I am in an excruciating amount of $%&*ing pain right now.
Daring: Yeah. I can see. Sorry I can't really do anything.
Storm Talon: Are those cupcakes? Can I have one? It might help get my mind off of things until I'm allowed some ^%*&ing painkillers.
Daring: Sure. (gives Storm a cupcake) So, what do you think?
Storm Talon: ... This is the best %^*#ing cupcake I've had in my %^&*ing life.
Daring: Really? They were good, but I wouldn't say...
Storm Talon: Wait, you had some?
Daring: Yeah, why?
Storm Talon: Daring, I can taste horse meat in this. While as a griffon, I'm not exactly complaining, but correct me if I'm wrong, isn't it %^*&ing illegal to sell unlabeled meat products in Equestria?
Daring: Well, that doesn't make any sense. There aren't any horses around here, only... Hey, where's Lightning?
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

Storm Talon: Oh Tartarus! That's what it was!
Daring: What?
Storm Talon: The store owner who insulted my sister wasn't named Chocolate Danish, she was trying to buy a chocolate danish!
Daring: What does that have to do with anything?
Storm Talon: Lightning Kicker went to Sweeney's bake shop because I told him Chocolate Danish insulted my sister! It must have been Sweeney!
Daring: Oh... OH! Prof, you can't blame yourself!
Storm Talon: I'm not a psycho killer Daring, I'm not... *HURK* (Mrs. Hoovett springs from the shadows and stabs him) %^*(! #^@*! Alabaster flamingos!
Daring: What the hay?
Mrs. Hoovett: I'm not going to let you ruin this featherca— (is headbutted)
Storm Talon: (takes out knife) I've had worse!!
Mrs. Hoovett: (draws another knife) Argh! I'll kill you where you—
Linnet: Hey what's all the commotion abou— (sees the scene) HELP! SOMEPONY CALL THE POLICE!!! SOME NUTCASE STABBED A GRIFFON!!
Mrs. Hoovett: Ah horseapples! (runs off)
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

Sweeney Trot: You don't know my pain, feathercat! Nor you, grave robber!
Storm Talon: That's what this is about? You lost someone close to you? Well guess what, *squawk*-wit? You and bucking everyone else! And in this town, a lot of them thanks to YOU.
Daring: Look, it's over Sweeney, just surrender and nopony else needs to get hurt.
Sweeney Trot: You'd like that grave robber! But I still have the Staff Piece and your friend, and if you want the latter intact, you're going to let me go!
Daring: Wait... you mean... Lightning Ki—
Storm Talon: Oh, come on, Sweeney! Even if the artifact's power could bring back your wife, would she even want you after all this? Would Linnet? The way I see it, there's two ways this is going down, either you give up right now, or else I'm going to gut you like a *squawk*ing fish! (pulls knife he was previously stabbed with)
Sweeney Trot: (shaken for a moment at the mention of Linnet, recovers) Artifact of power, eh, feathercat? Won't hurt to try it... (screams as he gets horribly mutilated)
Storm Talon: (beat) Well, I'm not touching it!
Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl the Bearded

    Spear of the Windigos 
Daring Do: Sorry if I don't look so good. Some grey unicorn drank all the coffee and forgot to put on a new pot. You'd think somepony with a coffee-based Cutie-Mark would know better.
Daring Do and the Spear of the Windigos

    Ring of the Marengeti 
Agent Helix: It's perfectly obvious where the map is. She's given it to her grad student, Herpy.
Ghoul: Herpy? You didn't drag poor Herpington along did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Ahuizotl: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.
Daring Do: Good luck! Herpy's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. He's got friends in every town and village from here to Dream Valley, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the Ring already.
(Gilligan Cut)
Herpy: (totally lost in a market) Does anyone speak Equestrian? Or maybe zebra or ancient griffon?
Daring Do and the Ring of the Marengeti

Ahuizotl: Now, Daring Do, prepare to-...
Daring Do: Hold it, I feel like we've done this fourteen or fifteen times already. Just skip the monologue and say you're going to kill me already.
Ahuizotl: Curse you, Daring Do! Not only do you foil my plans, but you foil my speeches as well! I work hard on them!
Daring Do and the Ring of the Marengeti

Ahuizotl: Damn you, Daring Do! Why Won't You Die?
Daring Do: I could say the same about you!
Daring Do and the Ring of the Marengeti

Hoofstapo Mook: I'll buck your skull in, feathercat!
Storm Talon: How the clopping chaos can you accomplish that when both your hind legs are broken?
Hoofstapo Mook: Huh? My legs aren't— (gets both his hind legs broken in quick succession)
Daring Do and the Ring of the Marengeti

    Ring of Destiny 

Daring: Ahuizotl! How did you escape Sobek?
Ahuizotl: I'd like to boast of how, but you'd be able to adapt it to your crises. And I have work long unfinished here.
Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny

Ahuizotl: The ring, Daring Do! Give it to me!
Daring: Now, Ahuizotl, you know I love you, but I can't give you the ring 'til I've properly proposed.
Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny

    Seven-Sided Chest 
Fuji Apple: You seriously call that an accurate Daring Do costume?
Daring: *facehoof*
Daring Do and the Seven-Sided Chest

Argus Suit: Who's the pegasus wearing the fishbowl with Sweeney Trot's muzzle?
Lickety-Split: That's Peppermint Twister, but everypony calls her Minty.
Daring Do and the Seven-Sided Chest

    Expanded Universe 
Ruby: You were looking for this? (presents gem to Roneo)
Roneo: You found it! Thank you!
Greyhoof: (looking at Ruby's flank) Oh no. The plague is back.
Daring Do and the Ruby of the Blank Village

Greyhoof: You did good, Mitta. She had already spread it to Starlet and Roneo, but if you didn't catch her in time, the whole town might have been wiped out.
Mitta: Did I? Or did I just sell my best friend out for something perfectly natural, and let you destroy two others for the same reason?
Greyhoof: Don't say that! You remember the plague! What happened? All those ponies dying because of the curse?
Mitta: I remember before the curse! I remember my parents having them! I remember almost everypony in our old village having them!
Greyhoof: Y-you remember?
Mitta: Yes I remember!
Greyhoof: No... you can't! I won't let you! You'll ruin everything!
Mitta: Do what you will with me. We all deserve far worse. *Greyhoof caves in her skull*
Daring Do and the Ruby of the Blank Village

Three Leaf: We got everything we need right here, so we rarely if ever leave.
Daring: That's the third time you said that and that's not even relevant to what I asked about!
Three Leaf: We got everything we need right here, so we rarely if ever leave.
Daring: This place is getting even creepier.
Daring Do and the Ruby of the Blank Village

Starlet: Hmmm, I'm curious to see what you're made of, bird-cat *Walks off*.
Storm: Okay, why is it that the only pony in this ^&*(ing town that seems to notice me, is also the one that looks like she wants to dissect me?
Daring Do and the Ruby of the Blank Village

Gypsy Bard: Desert Rose, I need to talk to you. These last few nights I thought the Colt Leader has been stalking me, but it turned out to be you each time. I know it's probably just a coincidence, you're probably just looking for that uppity hare of yours, but can you at least tell me why I keep seeing you outside my home in the middle of the night?
Colt Leader (as Desert Rose): You mean... um... you can tell the difference between me and the Colt Leader?
Gypsy Bard: Yeah, I've gotten more than a few good looks on her. I've got a reeeeeeally good eye for detail, y'know, even if everypony in town thinks I'm just crazy.
Colt Leader: Um... Really? You're sure I'm me and not... um... the Colt Leader?
Gypsy Bard: Of course. Your Cutie Mark is a veeeeeery slight shade ligh... (interrupted by the Colt Leader kissing her against her will) ... no... nononononono, you can't be! I know you're not a changeling and I could tell if you dyed your fur or used makeup! I even used a glowstone when you came in in case you used magic to change your appearance!
Colt Leader: Poor Gypsy Bard. So much you don't know. Like... um... how I'm wearing Smooze-flavored lip balm.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Daring Do: Why should we trust you? It's not like you haven't tried to destroy the world before!
Ahuizotl: Ah, but I would have had achieved divinity first and thus would not have need of the world. Sadly, The Smooze brokers no such opportunities. Only more Smooze.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Charity: And you've already met Princess Sparkler.
Daring Do: Is she really a princess?
Charity: No. And you don't want to tell her otherwise!
Daring Do: Why not?
Charity: That skeleton you're sharing your cell with is the remains of the last one who did.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Rayback: You tell me you hate slavery, but what about Spur, or those sheep?
Applesack: Dragons don't count. And those sheep are political prisoners. I don't force them to do anything, I force them not to do anything.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Charity: What are you talking about? Sweetie Bottle never died. See, she's right here!
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Sweetie Bottle: Why do you have to be so mean to my sister?
Applesack: Don't take it too personally, salt lick. Me an' Charity go way back and do this kinda thing all the time. I may rib her a bi—, a lot, but I'd follow her to Tartarus and back.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Charity: (with an angry-looking Applesack by her side) Excuse me, Princess, but what did you do to my sister?
Princess Sparkler: I didn't do anything to your sister. I used the golem I made for you as a host for the demon Zrackerthod.
Princess Sparkler: No, all I used was a golem. It's not real. Your sister died years ago.
Princess Sparkler: I understand you are distressed and thus am willing to overlook this outburst. Mercy is the hallmark of royalty after all. But understand you speak treason in your delusions. Furthermore, I am the daughter of none other than Princess Celestia herself! The blood of the Alicorns runs through my veins and thus I cannot be harmed by lesser mortals as yourself!
Charity: I am NOT delusional! My sister is alive and real and NOT some soulless automaton! YOU'RE the delusional one, "princess".
Princess Sparkler: Excuse me?
Charity: You heard me! All you are is some deluded, crazy fraud! By Smooze, you're not even a fraud because at least some ponies believe frauds! Nopony believes for one second you're a real princess, you just murder them when they contradict you.
Princess Sparkler: So it's treason and heresy?
Charity: If that's what it takes to get through to that dense head of yours, then yes! I'll say treason and heresy for my sister!
Colt Leader: Can you two please, um, knock it off? I'd hate to have to, um, make examples out of you.
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Prism Rush: Please, I'm perfectly fine! There's nothing more to me.
Short Stuff: But I heard about what happened to your friends. It's okay to miss them. I miss my old parents but...
Prism Rush: Just drop it!
Short Stuff: But I'm telling you it's...
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Prism Rush: (standing over Short Stuff) Any final words, you miserable worthless whore of a foal?
Daring Do: You have beautiful eyes!
Prism Rush: Why thank you. Wait, what... (Daring fly kicks him into the Smooze)
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Mahiavar/Mahavir: How could you confuse those two?
Daring Do: They looked and sounded exactly alike even before the body swapping! She could have been a changeling, or a magic clone, or, or even Desert Rose's Buckzarro Universe twin!
Daring Do and the Amber of the Smooze

Daring Do: You saw Krastos? What can you tell me about him?
Mahiavar/Mahavir: (terrified) You ever read H.P. Hoofcraft's Dirge of Discord series?
Daring: Yeah...
Mahiavar/Mahavir: Take everything that was whimsical about the Great Old Draconequuses, and replace it with remorseless sadism. And bad, tasteless jokes.
Daring Do and the Coronet of Chaos

Krastos: You and Ahuizotl... your conflict is the meeting of an unstoppable force and an immovable object. But all things, even ones that seem indestructible, erode, break down, and must one day fade away. So, Miss Do, this war between you and him, all your battles, all your struggles... it all comes down to one question: which one of you will break first? Which one of you will fade? That, Miss Do, is a question I am dying to see answered."
Daring Do and the Coronet of Chaos '''

Optimus Prime: One shall stand...one shall fall.
The Statue: Why throw away your life so recklessly?
Optimus Prime: "That's a question you should ask yourself.
Daring Do and the Children of Primus

Shifty Gaze: I just want to make sure you know everything so we don't run into any trouble.
Daring: If you don't want to run into trouble, then youíve picked the wrong pegasus. I always seem to run into trouble.
Daring Do and the Cloud-Held Eternity

Herpy: Daring, you won't believe this! I went into this room, 'cause I thought that it was empty, but do you know what I saw?
Daring: Not right now, Herpy...
Herpy: Dragon skulls! Tons of them! Do you know what this might mean? This must have been a burial ground for the dragons!
Star Shimmer: Those are mine.
Herpy: (flustered) Er, hello! Who are you?
Daring: Herpy, this is Star Shimmer. She owns this castle.
Herpy: Oh, uh... you must be very proud of your ancestors, Miss Shimmer! They must have been great dragon hunters!
Star Shimmer: I collected those skulls. From shops.
Herpy: Well then, um, there's one on the lower shelf that must have been your first one. It looks so old, it should be in a museum!
Star Shimmer: I bought that one last week.
(Daring facehoofs)
Daring Do and the Obsidian Sentinel

Lepus Star: (not taking his eyes off Derring's behind for even a millisecond) Hurry up, please. I've got to get into the vul-- vault.
Daring: (sees where Lepus is staring) Up to your old tricks again!
Derring: (turning around) WHAT?
Lepus: What are you talking about?
Daring: You've spent this whole time alternating between ogling my plot and my sister's. If either of us catches you doing so again, we will bucking GELD you!
Lepus: Eep!
Daring Do and the Minotaur's Maze

Herpy: I object to this witness, she's obviously trying to influence the prosecutor!
Mareton: (who has his head in Swinn's lap) What makes you say that?
Ahuizotl: Objection overruled.
Mareton: Now, Swinny, would you be so kind as to make your statement? Has Daring Do negatively influenced your life?
Swinn: All I have to say is if Daring hadn't chased my Sebastius into the rainforest, we never would've bumped into each other, and we never would've gotten back together. Thank you, Daring!
Daring: (Death Glare)
Herpy: It's quite sad, really. You have so much potential, Swinn, but Mareton's just using you.
Swinn: Shut up, Herpy! You're just jealous that you can't find someone who's as loyal as Puddin'is to me.
Herpy: Uh-huh. And I assume it's because of that loyalty that Puddin here—
Mareton: (frantically trying to signal for Herpy to shut up)
Herpy: —finked on you in hopes of getting time off.
Swinn: ...Is that.. true, Puddin'?
Mareton: ...Finked is... such an ugly word.
Swinn: (jumps at Mareton's throat) YOU LOUSY, SCUM SUCKING CREEP!
Ahuizotl: Order in the court! The witness is excused!

The Assembler: Under normal circumstances I would scrap all of you. The current situation is far from any normal circumstance.
Krastos: Shut up, we're having a trial here!
The Assembler: Logic capacitors offline.
Rex: Here, thish'll get the pain to go 'way!
The Assembler: Isn't your primary complaint with Ahuizotl?
Rex: I know, right... but then I shtart drinking thish, and thingsh shtop not making shenshe.
The Assembler: I am a construct. I am physically incapable of becoming inebriated. And furthermore -Analyzing-, this is filled with chocolate sauce.

Starlet: You're going with one of those?
Greyhoof: Before the plague, my father once mentioned something about a stallion so creative he could bend reality. I'm going to see if he can help us.
Mitta: But what if he has...?
Greyhoof: I'll take whatever precautions I can. You just promise me you'll take care of Ruby for me, Mitta. She has a knack for finding trouble.
Mitta: Of course, you can count on me! I'll keep her safe, no matter what!
Roneo: I'm sure you will.
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Greyhoof: You may think my methods are extreme, but have you ever seen a town full of ponies who danced themselves to death while playing the drums and quilting? Or get crushed because their talent for spinning hoops interfered with their talent for juggling anvils? Or develop a talent for murder while at the same time having a talent for cooking meat and opera singing? These are only a taste of the horrors I lived through. I will not see it happen again.
Daring: Then why'd you attack my non-pony friends?
Greyhoof: They were a threat! Sunnytown was the only haven left! I could not risk it! And I will rebuild it, by any means necessary.
Daring: Even if it's full of zombie pony clones of yourself?
Greyhoof: By. Any. Means. Necessary.
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Greyhoof: Any last words?
Daring: Yeah! Check your flank!
Greyhoof: What are you... *Sees what she's talking about* No... nonononononononononononononono...
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Greyhoof: MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD! MY TOWN DESTROYED! MY LIFE'S WORK ALL IN RUIN!!! AND NOW, NOW I HAVE CONTRACTED THE ONE THING I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO STOP MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR INTERFERENCE!!! NO... I WILL NOT... NO... If I... I will... I will see them avenged. All of them... Ruby, Mitta, Roneo, Starlet... *(Rambles off all the names of the townsfolk as Daring GTBO)*
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Okpono: *After witnessing Greyhoof immolate himself* Against this reality I can not steel. 470-proof hard apple cider is real?
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Ghost!Ruby: You helped him find the truth. Now, maybe I can help him find his way home.
Daring: You do know who he is, right?
Ghost!Ruby: I know. He's Greyhoof. But I'm me.
Daring Do and the Mirror Pond

Storm: I'm sorry to say it, Mas, but the Board really seems to have it out for you. It might be that you should just take that retirement offer.
Masra: So I'm to just smile politely and abandon my principles, is that it?
Storm: I'm serious, Masra. Now, we'll find whoever did this, but this might be your only chance to retire with some dignity now.
Masra: Dignity can kiss my flank, Professor Talon. I will not leave this position without cleaning up my messes.
Daring Do and the Cloudfall Conspiracy

Prince Vladimir: I can not believe this. I swear, if Princess Celestia did not make us entertain every properly-filled petition, I would have had you thrown out before you could speak.
Sparkler: What are you talking about?
Prince Vladimir: Ever since that doctor made that slanderous claim, greedy opportunists like you have come out of the woodwork trying to capitalize on that conspiracy theory based around humiliating my sister. What is worse is that you do not even have the decency to provide a proper forgery! *Shows document*
Sparkler: What? But that's not what I brought!
Prince Vladimir: Do not compound your mistake by lying! Your associate discovered what you were planning and told us all the details! We only let this charade go on as long as it did in the hopes that you would realize your mistake and back out! Mercy is the hallmark of royalty after all. But you made your decision. Guards! Have this carnival rabble escorted from my sight!
Sparkler: *Struggling* No! Please! I'm not lying! Mother! You must recognize me! PLEASE!!!
Daring Do and the Alicorn Amulet

Mysterious Figure: I thought offensive magic was barred on this rock farm. *She approached closer* Besides, I can't believe you'd kill me for a field of empty stones.
Sparkler: *Pathetically* It's all I have.
Mysterious Figure: Your pain runs deep
Sparkler: What do you know of my pain?
Mysterious Figure: Let us explore it together. *She produces a small piece of amber, it glows, Sparkler is transfixed. She begins to tremble and tears stream down her face* Each pony hides a secret pain. It must be exposed and reckoned with.
Daring Do and the Alicorn Amulet

Daring Do: You're crazy! Inti tried to steal Nightmare Moon's power, and she turned him into a constellation!
Princess Sparkler: Inti was an amateur.
Daring Do and the Alicorn Amulet

Nightmare Moon: Pathetic! You thought you could challenge me with that trinket? The power of the Nightmare gives me abilities beyond even a mere Alicorn!
Princess Sparkler: I... don't need... to beat you... just trap you! *Rips the relevant stars out of the Panoply of Night*
Daring Do and the Alicorn Amulet

Spottdrossel: My targets always ask me the same thing before I take the final shot, "how do you live with yourself?". But they're almost dead from blood loss when they ask. At that point, the killing shot is just good intention.
Daring Do and the Breathing Weapons

Daring Do: Star Shimmer, can you take a look at this? I remember Earth Song saying your Ancestor once ruled the frozen north, and we found this crown there.
Star Shimmer: Oh, Prince Umbra's crown! My family had always wondered where that went!
Daring: Prince Umbra? I've studied a lot of Equestrian history, and I don't think I've ever heard of him.
Star Shimmer: I'm not surprised. When the Princesses cast down his father for his enslavement of the Crystal Empire, he went into hiding outside of Equestria to avoid reprisals from both the Princesses and griffon assassins. He changed his name and was probably been subjected to exsilium memoriae.
Daring: Crystal... Empire? Star Shimmer, I found this in a rumored Ultima Mule dig site.
Star Shimmer: So that's what they're calling it these days.
Daring Do and the Crown Of Ultima Mule

Daring: I'm telling you guys, Ahuizotl is up to something right now!
*Cut to Ahuizotl*
Ahuizotl: Mr. Tibbles, have you seen where I left the section of the newspaper with the crossword puzzle?
Daring Do and the Vaults of Celestia

Colt Leader Kentauroi: Your friend Odo merely delayed the inevitable.
Daring Do and the Bag of Tirek (Preview)

Header: *looks outside* Hey Page?
Page: Yeah?
Header: For the record, I called it.
Daring Do and the Bag of Tirek (Preview)

Zipzee: One of him was bad enough. But two?
Daring Do and the Bag of Tirek (Preview) We don't know who "him" is.

    Expanded Universe — Revenant's Effigy/Tinker's Seal/Universal Cracks 
Entry 127: After further testing, the Steelclad Sorceror has failed to perform according to my expectations. Unfortunately, it has become impossible to recover the materials that compose it, so after a memory wipe and a stun spell, I have given it to a team of couriers and told them it was a statue that needed to be delivered to Canterlot by the end of the week. I do not have time to deal with yet another failure.
Entry 128: I feel that I am running out of ideas, and my assistants cannot keep up with my work. Finding new ones has become impossible, so if I cannot educate them properly, my work might be stalled for years, and I don't think Equestria could afford that price.
(after a few illegible pages)
Entry 135: The answer was right in front of me the whole time. If I cannot find an assistant that could help me, I have to build one. Not only could it provide me with ideas, it may just surpass my work if I am dedicated enough. I feel this is the beginning of a major breakthrough.
Steam Whistle's journal, Daring Do and the Revenant's Effigy

Daring Do: But what about...
Claddie: Y'all shut yer traps! Nopony here is qualified to talk right now unless they're made o' metal! Ye can have yer say when I'm done.
Storm Talon: I say we should let her speak!
Claddie: What did I jest say?
Storm Talon: (detaches leg, puts it on the table) That, and I'm a griffon. Now, shut your %*&@ing mouth and let her speak!
Storm Talon: Bite my shiny, metal claws!
Daring Do and the Revenant's Effigy

Doctor Valium: Please continue, Attic Fan.
Attic Fan: And then, Applesack comes charging in, slaps the collar 'round the slave mistress' neck, then bucks her out of my view. Must have activated the thing 'cause a few seconds later, I heard a sickening "pop" and Applesack walks back into view covered in "cherry sauce", saying "I told y'all I'd be back." Though we could tell she wanted to add Sorry I couldn't make it in time to save Rain Cloud. She goes about setting us free, and asks whether or not we had anypony nearby. This being outside Equestria's borders, not really, so she offers us a place to stay while we can sort things out. That's when I first came to 'Smooze Town'. It was nice, really, a place where we could get our bearings, relax, and figure out if I could, you know, the wings. And the spa... oh Smoo- Celestia, the spa. At the camp, I always thought "someday, I'm gonna go home." That place... it was home, I wanted it to be home. It was the first place I felt at peace since getting captured, even if that annoying gypsy mare kept ranting about how these ponies who saved me were going to bring about the Aponycalypse. I didn't care. Thought they were the delusions of a madpony. And when they wanted me to join, I happily agreed. They made it sound like Smooze could wash away all the pain, and make us into one great, glorious goo. I guess the spiked water supply made it sound better than it really was, because I saw what happened to Charity. I still have nightmares about that.
Doctor Valium: Thank you, Attic Fan. I believe your time is up, I'll have the guard escort you back to your cell.
Doctor Valium: (in present) That was the last time I spoke with him, before... you know.
Daring Do and the Revenant's Effigy

The Assembler: I am here to remove the threat you pose to the whole of Equestria and the world. *attacks the Colt member, is fought to a standstill until the Colt member knocks it off the top story floor and escapes*
The Assembler: *as it's falling* Clearly that was not the best approach.
Daring Do and the Revenant's Effigy

Tight Ship: I've never met a pony your age who didn't have a Cutie Mark before.
Greyhoof: *Internally resisting the urge to kill Tight Ship* That's because my talent is hiding. You can't see my mark because it's hidden.
Tight Ship: *Looks away for a moment* I have a hard time believing tha- *Looks back to see nothing* ...Wow, you're good.
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

The Assembler: My mission to re-purpose the Colt of Smooze has ended in failure. Though I have managed to rebuild most of the remainder to my goals, one escaped. The ferocity of her attack would not just have given a dragon pause, but if it did, it surely would have been slain. I must conduct repairs. My gas emitters were damaged in the fight.
Daring Do and the Revenant's Effigy

Minos: ...and that's how he stole the Hands of Fate.
Claddie: This isn't even tha first time tha mule's behind stole the blasted thing. Ya suck at yer job!
Minos: SHUT UP!!!
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

The Assembler: I apologize for their actions against you. I have fought that particular waste of flesh, and you are confirmed to not be her. Your actions helped to purge this world of a grave evil. For this, I am grateful. (moves to leave)
Desert Rose: Wait.
The Assembler: I am willing to spare you, but listen carefully: do not interfere with my mission parameters. If you become an obstacle I will repurpose you like I did those other wastes of flesh
Desert Rose: How dare you... How dare you! (gets in its face with Eyes of Fatima blaring) Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You run around claiming to try and save Equestria from soul corruption, but WHERE WERE YOU when the Colt members needed you? They weren't always like that! They became what they were because of pain, and suffering, and betrayal, and somepony using evil magic goo to make them willing to hurt others! They were hurting and somepony took advantage of their pain! Smooze corruption is not an easy thing to just shrug off! When the Colt Leader stole my body and left me in hers, the only thing that kept me sane and going was knowing my loved ones needed me! But what did they have? They lost everypony and those that didn't either were with them in the Colt, or betrayed them in the first place! They needed help! Not a so-called emotionless creature to tear them apart and look like it was enjoying itself doing so! And if, IF, they were too far gone, and they were too much of a threat... (starts to quiet down) I've had animals... that were hurt or sick... and there was nothing I could do to save them... and nopony else could either... they would cry all night in pain, and sometimes... they'd hurt themselves... because they were too weak or broken to... they'd beg to... (begins tearing) I fed them something to ease the pain and let them sleep. They deserved to sleep. They didn't deserve what you did to them.
The Assembler: (completely flabbergasted, before composing itself) I agree that such an approach was not correct. I already paid for that mistake, and will not repeat it again.
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Ghoul: Tabulington wrote us back. She said, among several other very angry things, that if one scale is harmed on the kid's head, she will personally bring in the big guns to visit said harm tenfold upon the two of us.
Storm: Then we'll leave him at the ^&-, um... then we'll leave him at the hotel.
Ghoul: ... We can do that?
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Ghoul: Wait... I thought I heard something. (points in direction of the sound)
Storm: I think I see it. Doesn't look like an animal. Get in closer, see if you can't find out what it is. I'll cover you.
Ghoul: Why do I have to check it out?
Storm: I'm a better shot, and you're in better shape than me... somehow. (aims gun at sound)
Rayback: (emerges from cover) Wait, wait! It's just me!
Ghoul: What are you doing here, Raybington?
Rayback: I... I wanted to help.
Storm: Arigh... wotoffle... hebewi...
Ghoul: Is that that new language you made, Stormington?
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Storm: They've flooded the tunnel. Banish it to the moon, it's a trap!
Greyhoof: (suddenly appearing) Of course it is. After all, no freaks.
Storm: Freak this! (whips out the Ruby, it fizzes)
Rayback: Is it supposed to do that?
Ghoul: I'll take that as a no, Raybington
(cue Oh, Crap! moment)
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Tabula: You did it... you stopped them! And leveled the town!
Gilded Marksmare: Well, they wanted a freak, and I saw that they were calling those three freaks, and I though 'Well, if they think they're freaks, how would I look to them?' and, well, I couldn't resist scaring them out of their wits. But they didn't even try anything, it's not really that impressive! I mean, when you see yourself looking down the barrel of at least, I don't know, five guns? Or was it ten? I never really count them. Anyway, aren't you supposed to run when that happens? Or duck, or anything except stare at me with that face? I guess a few hundred years of not being able to die kinda dulls your survival instinct... Except I would have run in that situation. I don't think this is really something to brag about, they were pretty stupid if you think about it.
Storm: Oh for... just take the %^&*ing compliment, lady!!
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Mareton: As much as I'd like to use my usual techniques, I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I'll cut right to the chase: you tell me what I want to know, and you won't be needing any more replacement limbs.
Storm: Go %^&* yourself, you nutcase.
Mareton: Hmm. (bucks Storm's wing, with an audible crack) You've got more limbs I can break.
Storm: That all you got, %^&*-for-brains? Where's that vaunted Earth Pony strength? My cubs could hit harder than you!
Mareton: Kind of hard for them to do, seeing as they're dead.
Storm: ... I'm going to eat your spleen for that.
(cuts to later)
Mareton: I see... (Bucks Storm's other wing as hard as the first one)
Storm: You know... we're only... a few days off... from the anniversary... of professor Nagridge's death... Can I... buy you... a drink... when this... is over?
Mareton: If you don't shut up with the platitudes and tell me what I want, I'm going to cut out your tongue and SHOVE A PARASPRITE DOWN YOUR THROAT!!
Storm: Good luck... without any... prehensile appendages... %^&$-face!
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

The Assembler: Secondary target located. You cannot run from me this time, Waste of Flesh.
Demon Lieutenant: I'm not sure about thi...
(the Colt Leader spikes her wing through the Demon Lieutenant's head, slams him on the ground in front of her, and smashes his skull in with her hooves; then she addresses the other demons, the second-in-command in particular, with the dead lieutenant's blood, skull, and brains dripping off of her with a completely unfazed look on her face)
Colt Leader: Please, I'd hate to have to do that again.
Newly Promoted Demon Lieutenant: (nervously) GET THEM!!
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Claddie: Do you have anything to say for yourselves?
Storm Talon: (stumbles dazedly into the room) I shink you should shut yer doggamn moush.
Claddie: If you don't have anything useful to say, mouse-eater, shut your beak.
Herpy: Storm, wait, he's really angry! Just ignore him, he's still on the painkillers!
Storm Talon: (walks up to Claddie) I don't care! An' no! I will not keep quiet yew, ugly, self-righteous, *kwauqs*-head. I'ma not gonna let yew talk like zjat about my friends like zjat, 'cause yer full o' carp! An' maybe zje only reason I'm not scared of yew right now, is because of zje drugs, but maybe I'm zje only one shinking straight!
Claddie: Don't push me! Don't think I won't break you just because that psychopath beat you up not too long ago.
Storm Talon: (jams claw into Claddie) Do yew know even know what happened? Were yew zjere? I wasn't, but I got zje whole story! We wasn't zje ones who said golems was soulless machines! Most of us wasn't even zjere! It was zjat deserter, Charity, an' her goo-worshipping friends! An' she didn't even do zjat to be mean! She wanted to tell herself zjat Sweetie Bottle was still alive, zjat golems were soulless machines an' her sister was no soulless machine! Daring an' zje oshers spent weeks looking for her when she ran off, an' when Daring came back she said she left zje oshers left in zjat town to look for her! So yew can take yer stupid, self-righteous carp an' shove it... wherever golems shove shings where zjey don't want! (falls over) Should my wings be bending like zjat?
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Page: We're lucky to be alive, Header!
Header: I don't know Page, before working for Dr. Capacitor, I never weighed the pros and cons of being executed as a traitor.
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Ahuizotl: For you see, Daring Do, with Krastos, The Assembler, and their respective armies on the loose, the world will have no choice but to give me everything I want, as Minos' Hands of Fate allowed me to wield the Mad Tinker's Artifacts! Only I have the means to contain them now. And if I have to let them ravage your beloved Equestria as a demonstration, then so much the better! Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha... So Mr. Tibbles, what do you think?
Mr. Tibbles: Meow?
Ahuizotl: Hmmm, you're right. I shouldn't reveal everything. Leave a little mystery. How's about this: I won't tell her about the Hands of Fate. We'll let her wonder about how a demon managed to bypass the Mad Tinker's safeguards.
Daring Do: (whispers while watching from a hiding spot) I know he told me he worked hard on them, but I never really believed it.
Ahuizotl: Ahem... CURSE YOU DARING DOOOOOOOO! How was that?
Derring Do: (whispers while watching from a hiding spot) I take it, he gets the most practice with that one?
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Tabula Rasa: Sweet Celestia... the chaos artifacts, the mad tinker's works, she's going to do it...
Outback Jack: Do what?
Tabula Rasa: Daring's going to blow up the leyline to take out Krastos and the Assembler.
Outback Jack: Wait, isn't taking out those two a good thing?
Tabula Rasa: Jack, do you know how big an explosion a large, destabilized leyline can cause?
Outback Jack: A big one?
Tabula Rasa: You see that forest over there?
Outback Jack: The Everfree Forest?
Tabula Rasa: If the leyline were to go off in the middle of it, then the resulting explosion would require the mapmakers of Equestria to rename it the Everfree Crater.
Outback Jack: Holy...
Tabula Rasa: What's worse is, given what Krastos and the Assembler are, will it even be enough?
Daring Do and the Tinker's Seal

Claddie: Ye were right, lad. As much as I hate to say it, ye were right about Sweetie Bottle.
Storm Talon: I once made a huge mess of things jumping to conclusions and not backing down when I should've. Didn't want you making the same %&*#ing mistake.
Claddie: Ye still need to watch yer language!
Storm Talon: No.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Sweetie Bottle: How do I start learning to feel alive again?
Claddie: The first thing ye do is STOP TALKING LIKE A BLOODY STEREOTYPE!!! *Sees Sweetie Bottle cringe and winces* I mean... ach, I'm bad at this.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

alt123!Daring Do: (laughs evilly) With Ahuizotl out of the way, the world will suffer mightily at my hooves. I am victorious! (laughs)
alt123!Ahuizotl: I'll take that!
alt123!Daring Do: Huh? Wha—? Noooooooo!
alt123!Ahuizotl: Better luck next time, Daring Do!
alt123!Daring Do: Curse you, AHUIZOTLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Normal!Daring Do: What.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

alt343!Daring Do: He's my shmoopy-doopy sweedy-weedy demon pie.
alt343!Ahuizotl: You're my shmoopy-doopy sweedy-weedy pony pie.
alt343!Daring Do: You're my cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny.
alt343!Ahuizotl: You're my heartie-smartie smirchy-wirchy baby-waby.
alt343!Daring Do: I have my special somepony. A kissy-wissy snuggy-wuggy sugar bear.
alt343!Ahuizotl: You're my cuddly-wuddly boopsie-woopsie pumpkin pie.
Normal!Daring: (visibly disturbed) ...We're done here.
Normal!Storm: MY EYES!!!
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

alt918!Ghoul: Ponies? Look here, drug-induced hallucination of me, like I told you before, all the ponies died off centuries ago. Something from that big, creepy forest caused them to develop weird pictures all over their bodies that made them do random stuff until they all eventually died from exhaustion or carelessness.
Normal!Ghoul: I'm not a hallucination. I'm you from an alternate dimension.
alt918!Ghoul: You're not helping your case, Drug-Induced Hallucination Of Me-ington. That's what you said last time.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Alt 997!Claddie: And what... makes ye think... I'll help ye, lass?
Colt Leader: Because, um, if you don't, I'll, um, rip your limbs out of your sockets, stab you with your, um, horn, shove your tubing down your, um, throat, and leave you just functional enough to, um, watch as I extract the information I need from your still-pulsating core.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

(upon seeing the Smooze-world)
Normal!Ahuizotl: As I said. A world of Smooze brokers no divinity. Only more Smooze.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Daring Do: The Colt Leader is looking for a Smooze Universe.
Herpy: Why?
Daring Do: She wants to sacrifice the whole of the multiverse to it.
Herpy: That makes sense... for her.
Daring Do: I'd say she'd do Krastos proud, but he'd probably be peeved he didn't try it.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Normal!Daring: You're not going to believe me when I say this, but we have have to save Ahuizotl.
Normal!Herpy: You're right. We don't believe you.
Normal!Daring: He knows where the Smooze universe is. If the Colt Leader manages to get that from him, she'll have the largest source of Smooze in the multiverse.
Normal!Storm: You know, we could always just kill him. It's not like you haven't done that before.
Normal!Daring: Tempting as that may be, she's got the Wandering Whistle. And thanks to Greyhoof, she knows how to use it a lot better than we do.
Normal!Claddie: So? Grab the whistle first, and then ye kill him!
Normal!Daring: Good plan with just one fatal flaw: getting that close to the Colt Leader. Or do I have to remind you what she did to alt997!you?
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

(after Sweetie Bottle summons Charity and to everypony's surprise, Applesack)
Ghost!Charity: Applesack, what are you doing here?
Ghost!Applesack: I told you, gravy train, I wasn't gonna let a little thing like death keep me from watching your back. Now, I doubt we'd be here if it weren't important, so where're the baby seals we need to club?
Ghost!Charity: (sees the disturbed look they're getting) What she means to say is, "what's the problem we're needed for?"
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

(after witnessing the Colt Leader's Fate Worse than Death)
Normal!Desert Rose: Maybe there's a universe where [The Colt Leader] didn't have to turn out so bad.
Normal!Daring Do: (hugs her) There is.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Sweetie Bottle: I wonder if she found the other me out there. Or maybe I found my way back, and now I'm in here.
Claddie: Lassie, it doesn't matter. Yer you. Make yerself the best you ye can.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

Moonless!Celestia:You killed Luna! You killed my sister! I swear on every star in the cosmos, you will never harm another pony again!
World-eater: One death or one trillion, it matters not. All life must end.
Daring Do and the Universal Cracks

    Expanded Universe Blood Diamonds 

This... is why I live out of town.
Kimmy, Never Forgive Me, twice

Trench: Ah, good afternoon, Miss Daisy.
Rumble Saddlon: My name's not Daisy.
Trench: Is it Scootaloo? Roseluck? Derpy? Celestia?
Rumble Saddlon: (grinds teeth)
Raindrops: I know you're somepony who's had too much salt.
Swimming in Red

Daring Do: There, now I finally have all the diamonds. (pauses) Hmm, this is typically the point where someone, usually Ahuizotl, shows up, reveals the whole thing was their evil plot and tries to take the relics. (stops and waits) Aaaaaaany minute now... (waits a little longer) Huh, they must be running late. Oh well. (takes the diamonds and heads out)
Swimming in Red

Steel Beak: I must congratulate you Daring Do, for you have made my job that much... Wait, where is she?
Corporal Clawdius: Looks like she already got here, Lieutenant.
Steel Beak: Oh crap, the general's going to have my head for this.
Swimming in Red

Storm Talon: Enjoy your vacation, Daring?
Daring: (glares daggers at Storm Talon)
The Crimson Horde


Mareton: You wanna know how I got these scars?
— The latest trailer for Alicorn's Shadow

Storm: I recognize the Board made a decision, but given that it was a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it!
Temple of Nightmare Moon

Judge Clopin: How seldom one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeney Trot: With fellow tastes... in mares, at least.
Clopin: ...What's that?
Trot: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose the face of a barber... the face of a prisoner in the dock... would not be particularly memorable.
Trot: BENJAMIN GAITER! (takes his final revenge)
Sweeney Trot: The Musical