->''"Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor ''is'' naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza."''
-->-- '''Daria Morgendorffer'''

->'''Jane''': Daria? Come on, the neighbors are starting to talk.
->'''Daria''': Um... good. Soon they'll progress to cave drawings and civilization will be on its way.

->'''Brittany''': I can't stand this. What was I thinking?
->'''Daria''': Brittany?
->'''Brittany''': All right, so Kevin is a stupid, selfish, conceited jerk. He's still better than Terry or Jerry or whatever his name is and this stupid club.
->'''Daria''': Who's Terry or Jerry?
->'''Brittany''': Oh, no! I've said too much! Eww. What happened to your neck?
->'''Daria''': Huh?
->'''Brittany''': Your neck. It's all, like, blotchy.
->'''Daria''': Ugh. I don't know.
->'''Brittany''': I'm not surprised you could catch something in a horrible place like this.
->'''Daria''' - Uh, Brittany, could you do me a favor?
->'''Brittany''': Um... yes?
->'''Daria''': Find Jane and tell her I had to leave?
->'''Brittany''': Sure, but... will you promise not to tell Kevin about Terry or Jerry or whoever?
->'''Daria''': In the unlikely event that, through some bizarre set of circumstances, I actually end up conversing with Kevin, I won't tell him about Terry or Jerry.
->'''Brittany''': Thanks!

->'''Daria''': Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake.
->'''Jake''': I'll say!
->'''Daria''': I have low esteem for everyone else.

->'''Jane''': So how's the story coming? Or does it disturb you if I talk while you're writing?
->'''Daria''': It would disturb me if I were actually ''doing'' any writing.
->'''Jane''': What's the problem? Take people you know and have them do whatever you want. I'd make 'em crawl, I tell you. CRAWL!
->'''Daria''': Easy there, tiger.

->'''Helen:''' Meeting!
->'''Quinn:''' Date!
->'''Jake:''' Golf!
->'''Daria:''' Sarcasm.

->'''Jane:''' I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. Wait a minute, my generation has no best minds.

->'''Daria:''' If you play that John Lennon song backwards it says "Imagine all the people... browsing in a mall". Isn't that weird?

->'''Quinn:''' Ew! Sugar Tarts?! Haven't you ever heard the expression "you eat what you are"?!
->'''Daria:''' Haven't you ever heard the expression "get the hell away from me"?

->'''Speaker:''' Daria... what about your goal?
->'''Daria:''' Um... I don't have any.
->'''Speaker:''' Oh come Daria! You must have some goal.
->'''Daria:''' My goal is not to wake up at 40 with the bitter realization that I've wasted my life on a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.

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