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Anime and Manga
"It's a darn shame. You could have put this hand to good use. What a waste of technology!"
— Piccolo to Dr. Gero, Dragon Ball Z
Comic Books
Spider-Man: You can rewrite DNA on the fly, and you're using it to turn people into dinosaurs? But with tech like that, you could cure cancer!
Sauron: But I don't want to cure cancer. I want to turn people into dinosaurs.
Sauron: But I don't want to cure cancer. I want to turn people into dinosaurs.
"I can rekindle the life in a corpse... I can raise the dead, but I can't make a buck!"
— Vincent, 13th baron von Frankenstein, Sweet Chastity
"But... instead of robbing banks, why didn't he just market and sell his incredibly sophisticated robot?"
— Brenda, Blue Beetle
"Then let's go with your scenario. You win. What do you get? A huge portion of the Virginia shoreline slides into the ocean. An act of terrorism-for-profit that'll put every human and metahuman agent and agency on your trail for the rest of your natural life. And pray mercy on your afterlife if you happen to kill anyone near and dear to Fate, Zatanna, or... so you see my point. How about hearing my counter-proposal? I can put you in contact with a major U.S. corporation that will co-patent this device with you. They're Gotham-based, so the post-No Man's Land investor incentives mean a healthy tax bonus. Your device is used in perpetuity for beach reclamation and you cash a fat check for waking up every morning. Yes, much better than another Flash-bash. Which... yes, Wizard, I'm sure you would win this time... Fine. Your Gotham City contact will email you tomorrow."
— Batman to the Weather Wizard, JLA: Welcome to the Working Week
"If you own shoes that let you walk on air, why rent yourself as a cheap hood? If you'd just mass produce them, you'd be ten times richer than Bruce Wayne by now."
"But the thing which fascinates me the most is this jet-glider! It's so swift... maneuverable... and quiet! Its controls can be mastered in seconds! This must surely represent a breakthrough in the science of flight! This proves Osborn was insane! He could have made more money by marketing such a device than he ever could have made in crime! Of course... in keeping this to himself, he became the only one in the world to possess such a wondrous device! The only one... Yes!"
— Hobgoblin, The Amazing Spider-Man #238
Fan Works
"What I mean to say is: a ruthless drive for conquest could be channeled into more productive endeavors. You could work for Microsoft instead."
The Beetle: Supervillains get asked that question all the time, and the answer is so boring we're usually tempted to come up with some sort of complicated Freudian bullshit to explain it all.
Moonstone: So what is the answer?
Beetle: The answer, quite simply, is that supervillains commit crimes for the exact same reasons that ordinary criminals who display remarkable talents, planning, resources and ingenuity have been committing their crimes for decades. Just look at the resources drug runners put into smuggling their product, the efforts counterfeiters put into producing funny money, the ingenuity displayed by purveyors of bogus sports memorabilia or art forgeries when they produce their fake merchandise, or the planning that goes into white-collar crime, like the looting of Enron and WorldCom a few years ago. The people who pull that crap off all showed amazing initiative and resourcefulness. Most of them, hell probably all of them, could have made legitimate names for themselves without risking having to go to jail. Why are supervillains singled out for this kind of behavior, when non-powered criminals have been pulling the same kind of shit for years? Why do those ordinary criminals do what they do?
Moonstone: shrugs
Beetle: It's for any number of reasons. Some of them are just greedy and want an instant get-rich-quick payoff, others enjoy the notoriety, some of them don't want to pay taxes on the money they make, some of them do it to mess with society...Really, the only difference between supervillains and ordinary criminals is that the ordinary crooks don't have special technology or superpowers to give them an edge. I used my technology skills to make my armor and give myself powers. The suit, the helmet, everything.
Moonstone: So you never tried starting your own business, or patenting your own inventions and technology, or even just getting a job with a group like Stark Enterprises or ClarkeTech?
Beetle: "People talk about that as if it's a guaranteed success. Starting your own business is a crapshoot when 90% of them fail. And patenting your technology is no guarantee of success either, when assholes like Justin Hammer and Obadiah Stane will try and screw you out of your share of the royalties. That's what almost happened to the Shocker—Hammer would have ripped him off, and he wouldn't have gotten one red cent for all his hard work.You're stuck working for idiots who only got to where they did by sucking up to people who wouldn't even spit on them. You're at their beck and call whenever they want, they promote their fellow brownnosers over people with actual talent, they take all the credit for your hard work. And when times are tough, instead of cutting down on their first-class flights and expensive limousines, they fire the people whose work got them all that wealth in the first place. You really think most supervillains are willing to put up with that shit? That's the whole reason I became a criminal in the first place!
Moonstone: So what is the answer?
Beetle: The answer, quite simply, is that supervillains commit crimes for the exact same reasons that ordinary criminals who display remarkable talents, planning, resources and ingenuity have been committing their crimes for decades. Just look at the resources drug runners put into smuggling their product, the efforts counterfeiters put into producing funny money, the ingenuity displayed by purveyors of bogus sports memorabilia or art forgeries when they produce their fake merchandise, or the planning that goes into white-collar crime, like the looting of Enron and WorldCom a few years ago. The people who pull that crap off all showed amazing initiative and resourcefulness. Most of them, hell probably all of them, could have made legitimate names for themselves without risking having to go to jail. Why are supervillains singled out for this kind of behavior, when non-powered criminals have been pulling the same kind of shit for years? Why do those ordinary criminals do what they do?
Moonstone: shrugs
Beetle: It's for any number of reasons. Some of them are just greedy and want an instant get-rich-quick payoff, others enjoy the notoriety, some of them don't want to pay taxes on the money they make, some of them do it to mess with society...Really, the only difference between supervillains and ordinary criminals is that the ordinary crooks don't have special technology or superpowers to give them an edge. I used my technology skills to make my armor and give myself powers. The suit, the helmet, everything.
Moonstone: So you never tried starting your own business, or patenting your own inventions and technology, or even just getting a job with a group like Stark Enterprises or ClarkeTech?
Beetle: "People talk about that as if it's a guaranteed success. Starting your own business is a crapshoot when 90% of them fail. And patenting your technology is no guarantee of success either, when assholes like Justin Hammer and Obadiah Stane will try and screw you out of your share of the royalties. That's what almost happened to the Shocker—Hammer would have ripped him off, and he wouldn't have gotten one red cent for all his hard work.You're stuck working for idiots who only got to where they did by sucking up to people who wouldn't even spit on them. You're at their beck and call whenever they want, they promote their fellow brownnosers over people with actual talent, they take all the credit for your hard work. And when times are tough, instead of cutting down on their first-class flights and expensive limousines, they fire the people whose work got them all that wealth in the first place. You really think most supervillains are willing to put up with that shit? That's the whole reason I became a criminal in the first place!
Film — Animated
"We evil magicians have to make a living too."
— Professor Hinkle, Frosty the Snowman
Film — Live-Action
"I don't get it. Little bit of fine tuning, you could have made a good paycheck selling that to China, Iran... or go black market. You look like you've got friends in low places. Why throw it away on me?"
— Tony Stark discussing Ivan Vanko's own arc reactor, Iron Man 2
"Dr. Evil, I spent 30 years of my life turning this two-bit evil empire into a world class multinational. I was going to have a cover story in Forbes, but you, like an idiot, wanted to Take Over the World. And you don't realize there is no "world" anymore! It's only corporations!"
— Number Two, Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery
Dr. No: The successful criminal brain is always superior. It has to be.
Bond: But why become criminal? I'm sure the West would welcome a scientist of your... caliber.
Dr. No: The Americans are fools. I offered my services; they refused. So did the East. Now they can both pay... for their mistake.
Bond: World domination. Same old dream... Our asylums are full of people who think they're Napoleon, or God.
Bond: But why become criminal? I'm sure the West would welcome a scientist of your... caliber.
Dr. No: The Americans are fools. I offered my services; they refused. So did the East. Now they can both pay... for their mistake.
Bond: World domination. Same old dream... Our asylums are full of people who think they're Napoleon, or God.
— Dr. No
"Ever wonder where your tax dollars are going?"
— Dr. Robotnik, as he deploys a bunch of highly sophisticated drones to capture Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Literature
"Seriously," she said. "Take the world conquerers. If Leonardo Lucas was just after world domination, he wouldn’t build giant robots and death rays. He’d get an assload of patents, make three billion dollars, and join the fucking Republican party. He wants people to bow down before him. He wants everyone to know he’s conquering the world. And if that means he has to fight and kill Paragon to do it, so be it. Sure, I can go out, wear all black, break into jewelry stores after hours and liberate millions each year, but that’s not satisfying. When I was Dynamo Girl, I could barely get page four. Leather makes the front page whether she gets away or goes to jail."
"Mr. Kayaba was a genius, but he was also a fool. All he wanted to use his technology for was his game. He couldn't see the potential in it. But I did."
— Sugou Nobuyuki on Akihiko Kayaba, Sword Art Online
Live-Action TV
"But you, one of the smartest and most promising human beings I've ever known... and this is the life you choose."
—Howard Hamlin, Better Call Saul, "Plan and Execution"
"So we're looking for people rich and evil enough to fund a high-tech jungle plane hijacking, but too dumb to realize that they could just buy their own fucking plane."
— Jon Stewart on Malaysia Airline conspiracies, The Daily Show
"If only you could put your mind to something worthwhile. You're like Lex Luthor."
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, "The Revenge"
Tabletop Games
"Supervillains aren't supervillains because they are poor. No, supervillains are possessed of the intelligence, strength, and power to make many times the fortunes of normal men. Indeed, they're often very rich at the start of their careers. No, supervillains are supervillains because they can't have enough, can't operate within normal laws, and don't WANT TO. Any person who could be a superhero and work within the lines usually IS. It's why there's so many fallen heroes amongst supervillains. They can't make it because being a hero isn't enough. Even if they choose not to be heroes, there's plenty of legitimate jobs they can make a vast fortune with their powers or expertise. Yet, still, we have a vast number of criminal psychopaths out to rule the world. Not because being a supervillain is the easier path, it's because supervillains are ABNORMAL, and abnormal people tend to gain powers more often."
— Alexander Timons/Blackwing, Halt Evil Doer!
Video Games
"You have knowledge enough to remedy every ill facing this world, yet you squander it to fuel your own ambition!"
— Naja, Sands of Destruction
"When Dr. Crane approached me, I though the man had finally realized the value of his chemical expertise. But no. He's still 'Scarecrow' to the bone. The man invents a formula that could cure depression! Turn an entire army upon itself! And he uses it to... frighten people! Fine, Dr. Crane. I'll keep working on your Cloudburst. But I'll keep working on your toxin as well. I'll show him there's money to be made here. One way or another."
— Simon Stagg, Batman: Arkham Knight
"If you worked this hard at a legit job, you wouldn't need to be criminals!"
— Spider-Man, Spider-Man (PS4)
Web Animation
"Do you remember what the villains from Captain Planet were like, how they'd steal an oil tanker and deliberately run it smack into a beach to teach all the sea lions a lesson in complacency? Do you remember wondering why they didn't just sell the oil at huge profit and not have to get beaten up by a big blue man in little red pants? Well, that's basically the Umbrella Corporation."
— Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Webcomics
"Look, I'm just sayin', if you've invented the anti-gravity machine, why blackmail France for 100 mil to keep the Eiffel Tower from flying into orbit?
That's chicken feed compared to what you could make selling the best damned bra ever invented!"
That's chicken feed compared to what you could make selling the best damned bra ever invented!"
— Minions at Work #317
The Oracle: Now let's talk payment. I don't do this for free, you know, I've still got to eat.
[...]
Durkon: Ye know, ye could just use yer powers o'precognition to make yerself a fortune.
The Oracle: I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I am doing.
[...]
Durkon: Ye know, ye could just use yer powers o'precognition to make yerself a fortune.
The Oracle: I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I am doing.
Web Original
"The Hood (Ben Kingsley) gets Jeff and his children trapped in space so he can hopefully use the Thunderbirds to rob a bank. Yeah, just rob a bank. The Hood does seem to lack a healthy imagination."
— Miles Antwiler on Thunderbirds (2004)
Thunderbirds (2004)Chris: So here’s my question, and probably the dumbest thing about this movie: Why did Mr. Freeze turn to crime?
David: This the kind of thing I could see the novelization or something answering, I guess. But yeah, you’d think he’d accomplish this just as effectively by writing a really sad letter to Bruce Wayne and getting a grant.
Chris: Seriously. He’s a Nobel Prize-winning scientist who suffered a tragic accident and appears to only want to cure a disease in order to help his wife. If Bruce Wayne wouldn’t help him, Oprah would.
David: This the kind of thing I could see the novelization or something answering, I guess. But yeah, you’d think he’d accomplish this just as effectively by writing a really sad letter to Bruce Wayne and getting a grant.
Chris: Seriously. He’s a Nobel Prize-winning scientist who suffered a tragic accident and appears to only want to cure a disease in order to help his wife. If Bruce Wayne wouldn’t help him, Oprah would.
— Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Batman & Robin
Batman & Robin"Barney and Fred are extremely close. They share the same job, hobbies, and circle of friends. When Fred finally hits Wilma too hard, Barney is the one who'll help make it look like a footmobile accident. If this is some cereal they can't get in stores, there is no way Fred knows some secret cereal dealer that Barney doesn't. And it can't possibly be financially related. Not only do they get the same paycheck, most of Barney's schemes cost magnitudes more than a box of sugar rice puffs. He once hired five ninjas and a hot air balloon to steal one serving of Pebbles. It's a risky thing, telling five professional murderers that their share of a heist is 16% of a bowl of soggy cereal..."
"One imagines that there's a more productive way to conquer the universe than stopping the signing of the Magna Carta. Even the characters wonder what the hell the Master is doing, which is not a good sign. [...] I'd love to see Ainley's Master admit that he just wants to prevent the signing of the Magna Carta just to tick the Doctor off. Then he'll just fly off and start messing with the scores in historical cricket matches to rub salt in the wound."
"Max Capricorn doesn't get spoken about much when it comes to the great Doctor Who villain but I think he has a lot to offer. He's visually delicious; confined to a steam punk contraption that only allows us to see his head protruding from oily wires and his retirement plan of destroying the Earth, slaughtering the board of his company and spending the rest of his days copping off with metal obsessed nymphs is inspired lunacy. No you can't take him seriously at all... but there are very few Doctor Who villains that I can."
"Is it ever actually explained why the Toyman has assembled a team of super-villains and invented something that provides absolute and total mind control just so he can gain legal control of an aquifer? [...] It's like building a time machine so that you can go back to yesterday and make sure you get your cable bill in the mail on time. If you have one of these things, the other ceases to really be an issue."
Kara: I think he cried... I feel kinda bad.
Risky: Yeah, he tends to invoke that. It's uncanny how his supervillainy is almost harmless, even if he is like a genius hacker.
Kara: So why not work for the CIA or something?
Risky: No clue. Maybe he didn't pass the exam.
Kara: That's what I don't get about these guys. They can make millions legitimately. It'd probably be easier too.
Risky: Yeah, he tends to invoke that. It's uncanny how his supervillainy is almost harmless, even if he is like a genius hacker.
Kara: So why not work for the CIA or something?
Risky: No clue. Maybe he didn't pass the exam.
Kara: That's what I don't get about these guys. They can make millions legitimately. It'd probably be easier too.
Web Videos
"It's not about making money, it's about taking money."
— Dr. Horrible, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
"I'm sure your next question is: 'Lex, fine. What are you gonna do with a hundred billion dollars?' Well, it's simple. I'm going to use it... to kill Superman.
I mean, c'mon, right? I'm Lex Luthor. It's what I do."
I mean, c'mon, right? I'm Lex Luthor. It's what I do."
Jay: They travel to 2017, and Skynet is also building a time machine — conveniently.
Mike: Why not make a time machine? They're making liquid metal people.
Jay: In the same room as the time machine — conveniently.
Mike: And then they're also making an app. The app seems to be the most important thing for everybody. "It's got a billion downloads! But we're also building a time machine and liquid people. But OUR APP! LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR APP!"
Mike: Why not make a time machine? They're making liquid metal people.
Jay: In the same room as the time machine — conveniently.
Mike: And then they're also making an app. The app seems to be the most important thing for everybody. "It's got a billion downloads! But we're also building a time machine and liquid people. But OUR APP! LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR APP!"
Dr. Warhol: I need the DNA of a vampire dog to perfect my anti-aging formula.
Allison: [hurk] can't do it... too stupid... Look, if you don't really have an anti-aging formula, just find another product to shill. Hey, y'know what you could make more money at? Proving that a fucking vampire dog exists!
Allison: [hurk] can't do it... too stupid... Look, if you don't really have an anti-aging formula, just find another product to shill. Hey, y'know what you could make more money at? Proving that a fucking vampire dog exists!
— Allison Pregler on Vampire Dog
"So you meet up with "The Resistance" and learn that the terribly-engineered, slipshod vaults that killed everyone onboard also conditionally gave you superhuman nano-technology powers, and that "The Authority" is looking to experiment on you for them. Since they're poorly-constructed bad guys, they don't just ask you to sign a consent form and offer compensation to participate in their study. They just wanna kill you for some reason. [...] The Authority is about as one-dimensional and evil as middle-school poetry."
— George Weidman on Rage (2011)
Rage (2011)"'What? A single world's fair refuses to put on an exhibition of my scientific discoveries? How dare they! I'm going to ransom them for a billion dollars and kill them all if they refuse as opposed to simply patenting my wonderful technologies and making billions!' Yeah, I think this is a prime example of why the writers decided making Luthor an evil business genius made more sense than keeping him as a mad scientist. Quite frankly, being a supervillain with this much intelligence and ability is just... dumb."
— Linkara, mocking Lex Luthor in the crossover between Superman, Wonder Woman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids
[Rubbing temples] "So he made sure to put a camera on it, but forgot to PATENT his de-aging machine. Garth, everybody!"
"Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even need to sell these sunglasses? It's not like he needs the money! He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does that sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses? Why would he jeopardize all that committing kidnapping and murder? Hell, why even bother with all the subterfuge and the fake tournament thing? If you really wanna get fighting data from martial artists, you could always, I don't know, tell the truth. Just offer to pay the world's greatest martial artists a million dollars to come to your island, get an injection, and spar with each other all day. I mean, is anyone even likely to care? At that point, it's not even illegal. Just patent the shit and sell it at Best Buy. You don't need to be a fucking supervillain about this."
Announcer: And now, only the Incredibles can stop him from... letting me buy rocket boots?
Syndrome: I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes.
Announcer: Well, that's just great! Now how am I supposed to become a hero? Toxic waste-covered reptiles aren't cheap, you know!
Syndrome: I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes.
Announcer: Well, that's just great! Now how am I supposed to become a hero? Toxic waste-covered reptiles aren't cheap, you know!
"Actually, this fleet got me thinking, and I have a couple questions: Okay, I don't think there's any dispute that Robotnik's the bad guy. He's trying to take over the world, destroying things, and so on. Now, this probably exists in literature, but I've never heard of it, so as far as I know, Robotnik's unique in that he's a one-man empire. I mean, look at this. This is the Air Force of a small country. And this is on top of God knows how many other industries, like the trains and casinos and so on, and that's just in this game. Sonic fans can fact-check me, but I've never seen an employee of Robotnik's. The most I've ever seen is mercenary help he gets, and that's always just to stop Sonic. So I have to assume this is all robot labor. He's got robots for days. I think he has to have robot overseers on top of his robot workers. I mean, there's no way he designed, oversaw construction, sourced the raw materials for this fleet, on top of everything else he's doing. No one can manage all that. So he has robots working under robots that handle everything, and they all answer to him. So I started thinking: What if, instead of launching attacks, he played by the rules instead? He could outprice every industry and collapse them because he has unlimited free labor. I mean, Amazon has about 800,000 employees, Robotnik has one. Himself. He could outproduce and outprice them. Same goes for mining, agriculture, construction, telecommunications. He could run circles around almost every major industry. Now, creative and specialist ventures he might still have competition with, so he may not be able to take on a company like Disney if we're talking strictly fair competition. Though he could also play the game the way most big companies do, and hire lobbyists to change the law to favor his industries. But even without that, I think it's not out of sight he could take over 70% or more of all goods and services worldwide. Maybe 90%, who knows? Unlimited free labor and resources is a major card to play. In the old games, he needed to enslave animals, but now it's just robots. He doesn't even need the animals in Sonic Heroes. In fact, in the process of buying up the world, he could turn law enforcement against Sonic, and label him an ecoterrorist for trespassing and attacking his machinery on private property, and our laws would defend him, not Sonic. So, I guess my question is: Pretend you're a citizen of Sonic World. How would we stop Robotnik legally? Would we be able to stop him? Robotnik's lawyers could have a field day arguing this is all just the labor of one man. Most laws that curb the power of corporations are for ones with thousands of employees, not sole proprietorships. Plus, if he's using robot lawyers and lobbyists, I'm not sure any system could withstand pressure from them 24/7. Officials can only turn down so many suitcases full of money. What does society do when one man controls most of the world and didn't break any rules? Would we even wanna get rid of him? If he's taking 70% of all jobs, that's going to force civilization to adapt to something a lot different. What would society even look like? Robotnik doesn't know his own potential here."
— Ross Scott on the Egg Fleet from Sonic Heroes in Ross's Game Dungeon, completely unaware that Metal Sonic hijacked Eggman's Egg Fleet in a plan to beat Sonic and become the "real" Sonic.
"Overall, quite a wholesome story of a man who used his dedication and talents to great success and showed that if you can be a competent criminal, you can probably be a competent something else."
— Qxir on counterfeiter-turned-artist Arthur J. Williams Jr., "Tales from the Bottle: How The $100 Bill Prevents Counterfeiting, And How It's Counterfeited Anyway"
" Western Animation
Farnsworth: This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!
[...]
Dwight: What's this device's marketability? Who's the target consumer?
Farnsworth: There is no target consumer! Only targets. Targets that will tremble in fear as their new master hands down edicts in my glorious, booming voice!
[...]
Dwight: What's this device's marketability? Who's the target consumer?
Farnsworth: There is no target consumer! Only targets. Targets that will tremble in fear as their new master hands down edicts in my glorious, booming voice!
— Futurama
"Forget this restaurant nonsense, Karen. I should've opened a yard sale business years ago! Step up, fishes, every evil invention is priced to move!"
— Sheldon J. Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants
Real Life
"I never believed the original Luthor. Every story would begin with him breaking out of prison, finding some giant robot in an old lab he hid somewhere, and then he'd be defeated. My view was if he could afford all those labs and giant robots he wouldn't need to rob banks."
