Follow TV Tropes

Following

Quotes / Crappy Carnival

Go To

Fan Fic

"Circuses have clean animals and nice games. Carnivals have carnies and you need to fill out papers for shots before you go in."
Calvin's mother, Calvin and Hobbes Get XTREME!

Web Video

"Welcome one and all to Floppy Brick, where dreams come to die! Theme park enthusiasts young and old will love the flop this brick flops as they enter through the main gates, right into the magical Land of Fount, where a lot of fountains all face the same way, suspended in the entranceway by luscious foliage and trees to remind you that YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE. Once you’re done marveling at the amount of fount, you may choose to head left to Buyshit Boulevard, where costumers can indulge their retail therapies and merchandise addiction with the LEGO toy shop, the LEGO media shop, the LEGO clothes shop, the LEGO toy shop, the LEGO media shop, the LEGO clothes shop, the LEGO toy shop, the LEGO media shop, the LEGO clothes shop, the LEGO toy shop, the LEGO media shop, the LEGO clothes shop, and… trees. More trees lining this remarkable street to remind you once again, YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE. But oh, what is this in the Land of Fount? Why, it’s a secret path that only the most dedicated roller coaster fans will care to notice, and a path which leads to many treats and surprises such as the Greenhouse of Shame, where the simpleton gardeners reside to maintain the Land of Fount, trapped in a bubble of their own making. They just would not stop planting, it’s all they know. And only the greatest theme park goers will care to notice the rides in Floppy Brick, the first lot, located here. Welcome to Spinning Barrel Labs, where naughty subjects- uh, I mean customers are tortured with various electrical equipment before taking multiple spins on the Barrels of Endless Doom! And don’t think we don’t have a place for you today, because we really do, we got lots of them, we’re sick. But that’s not all, if you just can’t get enough of the festivities like good ol’… Dave Mason over here, who isn’t happy at all and eating his own tongue, then you can follow him down the path of expanse to the most lucrative part of Floppy Brick… welcome, to Final Destination! If you absolutely refuse to behave, this vast network of space tower rides shall spin you indecently for all eternity, never stopping, never breaking down, never to see your family again. And for that extra bit of security if one should fall off their rocket, not only would they land in the Cacti Forest of Sin, to most assuredly end in their death, but even if they survive, they’d be too lost to ever see their homes again, with no pathways, no vending machines, and no hope… well, you know aside from this path over here, and if you follow it on your way out, please come full circle and stop off to buy some more merchandise, because we could always use a bit more merch money, why not consider this SpongeBob SquarePants bus, I personally highly recommend it at the low price of nearly THREE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS!"
Caddicarus giving a tour of his LEGOLAND park.

Western Animation

"There she is, Mabel, the cheapest fair money can rent! I spared every expense!"
Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls

Top