Quotes: Cordon Bleugh Chef

"Today I put......... JELLY on this hot god"

Latooni: Well, strawberry jam-filling onigiri is definitely not standard...
Joshua: Rim, I can understand if this was... well, bread but...

"I don't think boiled egg and mushroom salad really go with apple pie."
Okabe Rintarou, Steins;Gate

"That's one of those 'burgers on a glazed doughnut' nightmares that I've read so much about."
Cracked, "5 Reasons San Francisco is the Worst Awesome City in America"

"Remember that time we made fun of Guy Fieri, by which I mean any time any human being has ever talked about Guy Fieri? Well, it's time to head back to Flavortown for another trip on the Fiericoaster, because we now have photo evidence of Guy Fieri's inhumane treatment of innocent edibles...The menu description is inaccurate: this thing hasn't been "topped" with potato chips and pretzels, it bravely leapt onto a Ruffles grenade to save its cheesecake comrades. Its sacrifice shall not be forgotten, no matter how those traitorous Parfaits try to slander its war record posthumously. Oh, that's nice; someone's been thoughtful enough to wound the cheesecake with a knife, which the customer could hopefully then use to kill it the rest of the way. That'll definitely be necessary, because there's absolutely no chance this thing isn't haunted by the murdered ghosts of cheesecakes past. That looks like what I imagine Ed Gein requested for his last meal. Elvis would look at this and go 'hey, now, wait up a sec.' That's not a dessert, it's an act of defiance against the Gods."

This year the white-trash fusion chef opened his flagship Manhattan restaurant...I'd wager that 90 percent of his customers that first night were foodies planning to review the place ironically. The other 10 percent were tourists for whom Turkey Tequila Fettuccine represents the apex of molecular gastronomy. Oooh, a whole lamb bathed in Cheetos dust! FANCY.
Drew Magary on Guy Fieri, "The 25 Least Influential People of 2012"

(913): Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.