Quotes / Content Warnings

  • The Offspring:
    Ladies and gentlemen
    Welcome to the disclaimer
    That's right, the disclaimer

    This American apple pie institution
    Known as parental discretion
    Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm
    from the lyrics that might actually make you think,
    and will also insult your intelligence at the same time

    So, protect your family!
    This album contains explicit depictions
    of things which are real.
    These real things are commonly known as life.
    So if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously.
    If it sounds dangerous
    Do Not Try This at Home or at all.
    And if it offends you Just. Don't. Listen to it.

The BBC would like to announce that the next scene is not considered suitable for family viewing. It contains scenes of violence, involving people's heads and arms getting chopped off, their ears nailed to trees, and their toenails pulled out in slow motion. There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts, and also at one point you can see a pair of buttocks and there's another bit where I'll swear you can see everything, but my friend says it's just the way he's holding the spear. Because of the unsuitability of the scene, the BBC will be replacing it with a scene from a repeat of Gardening Club for 1958.

"Well, we warned you."
Edward Van Sloan, Frankenstein (1931) (1931)

"Warning: It's I Spit On Your Grave!"

This presentation contains certain scenes that may be too intense for young children. Parental Discretion is Advised.
Jerry Bishop reading from the Disney Channel content warning screen used when they ran movies or shows that might not be suitable for young children during the 1980's and early 1990's

The following movie / program / feature has been rated G by the Motion Picture Association of America.
The following movie / program / feature has been rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America. Parental Guidance is Suggested.
The following movie / program / feature has been rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America. Some material may be inappropriate for young children. Parents may wish to consider whether it should be viewed by those under 13.
The following movie / program / feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences. Parents may wish to consider whether it should be viewed by children under 17. *Insert network name* will show this feature only at night.
The following movie has been rated NC-17 for No Children Under 17 by the motion picture association of America. It is attended for adults only. This presentation should not be viewed by children under 17. And *Insert network name* will show this movie only at night.
The following movie / program / feature has not been rated by the motion picture association of America.note 
— Warnings used for the American premium cable networks, and some pay-per-view networks.note 

Now might be a good time to tell you all about the Motion Picture Association of America's fascinating rating system. Now, if a family wants to see a movie and it's rated G, then everyone can go: Mom, and Dad, and Buffy and Jody and Grandma and Grandpa and even Sergeant Scruffy! If it's PG, then there might be something unsuitable for young or sensitive viewers, in which case Buffy might have to stay home. Along with Grandma, who didn't want to go to the movies anyway. Now, of the movie's rated PG-13, it might have some material in there that mommy and daddy might not like, uh, some of the young kids to see, so Jody might just have to go home. Bye-bye, Jody! Now if the movie's rated R, then it's going to contain some a-dult material, in which case, Dad, who's got a lazy tummy, will probably want to stay home. But if the movie's rated NC-17 that means kids can't get in; only a-dults can get in. Mom doesn't want to see a-dult movies. But Grandpa was in the army, and he's not bothered very much, and so he decides to stay. Along with Sergeant Scruffy, who's just a dumb dog anyway.
Jack Valenti on his MPAA rating systemnote , Freakazoid!

''The following film is rated G: Entertainment for the entire family."
Family Channel (Canada) immediately before the majority of films they ran from about 1999 to 2010

And remember: Building a robot is extremely dangerous, and should not be attempted without great care.
Don't Try This at Home disclaimer used at the end of the Nickelodeon GAS airings of Robot Wars

British Columbia may have stumbled onto something. There were no complaints about the BC ratings system because it was spelled out more clearly than most. Parents weren't lost in confusion about which letters stood for what. Nature did the work for them. If you slap a dangerous animal on there, the message is clear. This is how we can make better ratings systems in America: mascots. If there's a shark silhouette on Lollipop Chainsaw, a snake on Bridesmaids and a tarantula in the corner of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, there's no confusion there. They know to stay away!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/ContentWarnings