Quotes / Content Warnings

  • The Offspring:
    Ladies and gentlemen
    Welcome to the disclaimer
    That's right, the disclaimer

    This American apple pie institution
    Known as parental discretion
    Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm
    from the lyrics that might actually make you think,
    and will also insult your intelligence at the same time

    So, protect your family!
    This album contains explicit depictions
    of things which are real.
    These real things are commonly known as life.
    So if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously.
    If it sounds dangerous
    Do Not Try This at Home or at all.
    And if it offends you Just. Don't. Listen to it.

The BBC would like to announce that the next scene is not considered suitable for family viewing. It contains scenes of violence, involving people's heads and arms getting chopped off, their ears nailed to trees, and their toenails pulled out in slow motion. There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts, and also at one point you can see a pair of buttocks and there's another bit where I'll swear you can see everything, but my friend says it's just the way he's holding the spear. Because of the unsuitability of the scene, the BBC will be replacing it with a scene from a repeat of Gardening Club for 1958.

"Well, we warned you."
Edward Van Sloan, Frankenstein (1931) (1931)

"Warning: It's I Spit On Your Grave!"

This presentation contains certain scenes that may be too intense for young children. Parental Discretion is Advised.
Jerry Bishop reading from the Disney Channel content warning screen used when they ran movies or shows that might not be suitable for young children during the 1980's and early 1990's

The following movie has been rated G for General Audience by the motion picture association of America. All ages admitted.
The following movie has been rated PG for Parental Guidance by the motion picture association of America. Parental Guidance is Suggested.
The following movie has been rated PG-13 for Parents Strongly Cautioned by the motion picture association of America. Some material may be inappropriate for young children. Parents or supervisors may wish to consider if this should be viewed by those under 13.
The following movie has been rated R for Restricted by the motion picture association of America. It is attended for mature audience. Parents or supervisors may wish to consider whether it should be viewed by children under 17. Because of it's mature matters, *Insert network name* will show this movie only at night.
The following movie has been rated NC-17 for No Children Under 17 by the motion picture association of America. It is attended for adults only. This presentation should not be viewed by children under 17. And *Insert network name* will show this movie only at night.
The following movie has been rated NR for Not Rated by the motion picture association of America. This film is not yet rated.
— Warnings used for the American Pay-Per-View networksnote 

If a movie is rated G, then everyone can go: Dad, and Mom, and Buffy and Jody and Grandma and Grandpa and even Sargeant Scruffy! If the movie's rated PG then there might be some sensitive material, so Mom might want Buffy to stay home. Along with Grandma, who didn't want to go to the movies anyway. If the movie's rated PG-13, then it might contain some material that the parents wouldn't want the little kids to see, so Jody just might have to go home. Bye-bye, Jody! Now if the movie's rated R, then it's going to contain some a-dult material, so Dad, who's got a lazy tummy, might want to stay home. But if the movie's rated NC-17 that means kids can't get in; only a-dults can get in. Mom doesn't want to see a-dult movies. But Grandpa was in the army, and he's not bothered very much, so he decides to stay. Along with Sergeant Scruffy, who's just a dumb dog anyway.
Jack Valenti on his MPAA rating system, Freakazoid!

''The following film is rated G: Entertainment for the entire family."
Family Channel (Canada) immediately before the majority of films they ran from about 1999 to 2010

And remember: Building a robot is extremely dangerous, and should not be attempted without great care.
Don't Try This at Home disclaimer used at the end of the Nickelodeon GAS airings of Robot Wars

British Columbia may have stumbled onto something. There were no complaints about the BC ratings system because it was spelled out more clearly than most. Parents weren't lost in confusion about which letters stood for what. Nature did the work for them. If you slap a dangerous animal on there, the message is clear. This is how we can make better ratings systems in America: mascots. If there's a shark silhouette on Lollipop Chainsaw, a snake on Bridesmaids and a tarantula in the corner of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, there's no confusion there. They know to stay away!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/ContentWarnings