[[folder:Film - Live-action]]

->A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, [[InsaneTrollLogic if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line]].
-->--'''Jerry Fletcher''', ''Film/ConspiracyTheory''

->I'm not crazy. Whatever it is they're guarding so carefully, I need to be able to prove that it's real.
-->--'''Joe Brody,''' ''Film/{{Godzilla 2014}}''

->Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of [[VodkaDrunkenski water]]?
-->--'''Gen. Jack D. Ripper''' on fluoridation, ''Film/DrStrangelove''

->'''C.P. Kennedy:''' Now, what exactly is our target juror?\\
'''Hon. Joseph Palmer:''' Intelligent people who will listen to instructions and follow the evidence--\\
'''Hank Palmer:''' Crackpots. Those I can persuade to swallow their own tongue. Anyone who's seen a Sasquatch. Moon-landing deniers. Those are our people.

->'''Alvin Kurtweil:''' Are you familiar with what the Federal Emergency Management Agency's real power is? FEMA allows the White House to suspend constitutional government upon declaration of a national emergency. Think about that. What's an agency with such broad, sweeping power doing managing a small viral outbreak in suburban Texas? ...The timetable has been set. It'll [[HorrorDoesntSettleForSimpleTuesday happen on a holiday,]] when people are away from their homes. The president will declare a state of emergency, at which time all government, all federal agencies will come under the power of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA--the secret government.\\
'''Fox Mulder:''' And they call ''me'' paranoid.



->The mentally disturbed do not employ the Principle of Scientific Parsimony: the most simple theory to explain a given set of facts. [[DramaQueen They shoot for the baroque.]]
-->--'''Creator/PhilipKDick''', ''Literature/{{VALIS}}''


[[folder:Live-action TV]]

->Miraculously, the first time in history: [[ShapedLikeItself Steel was melted by fire]]. It is [[IgnorantOfTheirOwnIgnorance physically impossible.]]
-->--'''[[Series/TheView Rosie O'Donnell]]''' on the September 11th terror attacks

->There is no group of people this large in the world that can ''keep'' a secret. I find it comforting. It's how I know for sure that the government's not covering up aliens in New Mexico.
-->--'''CJ Cregg''', ''Series/TheWestWing''

->The Millennium Group’s an illusion. Ceremonies and secrets that only certain members can understand? Collecting the Cross of the Crucifixion? Ancient text for future prophecies? It’s all a diversion, sleight of hand. Distraction from the problems they’re trying to control. This is not about the end of the world, it’s about ''controlling'' the world.
-->--'''Frank Black''', ''{{Series/Millennium}}'' ("The Fourth Horseman")

->'''Fred:''' So, you don't worry that it's possible for someone to [[ManchurianAgent send out a biological or electronic trigger]] that effectively overrides your own sense of ideals and values, and replaces them with an alternative coercive agenda that reduces you to little more than a mindless meat puppet?\\
'''Shopkeeper:''' Wow. People used to think that ''I'' was paranoid! [beat] I mean, don't get me wrong. [[HypocriticalHumor I still got the implants in my head, C.I.A. is still listening in.]] It just doesn't bother me anymore.
-->-- ''{{Series/Angel}}'', "The Magic Bullet"

->"You've uncovered some interesting facts. But your interpretation is far-fetched. These are random incidents. Granted, some of them are hard to explain, but there's no conspiracy here."
-->-- '''Chakotay''', ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "The Voyager Conspiracy"

->'''Howie:''' The US government has entire cities hidden in the Norwegian mountains. You see, Earth is on a collision course with this other planet, and this is where they're going to send all the rich people when it kicks off.
->'''Rory:''' Amazing.
->'''Howie:''' It's all there on the internet.
->'''Rory:''' No, it's amazing you've come up with a theory even more insane than what's actually happening.
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "The God Complex"



->''Unsolved mysteries, government conspiracies!\\
Bright lights in the sky, alien technology!\\
Stay out of sight, go run and hide\\
Lock the window, they come tonight!''
-->--'''Neil Lee Griffin''', "Apocrypha"



->It is an interesting world we live in, where you can tell a group of people that you made a crop circle with a rope, even show them how you did it, and they still insist that an unknown paranormal intelligence did it. You can tell them that two plus two equals four and they'll insist that it's five.
-->-- '''Brian Dunning''' of ''Podcast/{{Skeptoid}}''



->I'm like a chimpanzee, in a tree, jumping up and down, warning other chimpanzees when I see a big cat coming through the woods… ''I'm'' the weirdo? Because I'm sitting in a tree going [[IResembleThatRemark OOH OOH OOH AAH AAH AAH]]

->[I]n some cases, eating a burger or a steak has landed people in the hospital with severe allergic reactions. The culprit is the Lone Star tick...the radicals are gonna try to get hold of these ticks and mass produce them, mass grow ‘em and spread ‘em all over the country in order to get people to stop eating beef...If you’re a vegetarian and you don’t realize there’s a political agenda attached to what you’re doing, [[YouFool you’re being duped.]]


[[folder:Video games]]

''"[[YouMakeMeSic LANGUAGE]], CRACKHEAD!"''
-->--[[BathroomStallGraffiti Competing graffiti]], ''VideoGame/Left4Dead''

->Everyone withdraws into their own small gated community, afraid of a larger forum. They stay inside their little ponds, leaking whatever "truth" suits them into the growing cesspool of society at large...Not even natural selection can take place here. The world is being engulfed in "truth."
-->--'''The Patriots''', ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''

->The Last Battalion is an elite unit which helped [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler the Fuhrer]] escape in secret! An insane army with [[StupidJetpackHitler cutting-edge technology]] and [[{{Ghostapo}} a powerful relic which absorbed Christ's blood,]] bent on enacting the Fuhrer's grudge! It's all in this book... [[MayanDoomsday Everything they're doing is in accordance with the Oracle of Maia]] in the ''In Lak'ech''! The Oracle of Maia was left to us by [[AncientAstronauts the Pleiades aliens who gifted mankind with civilization...]] It's a message entrusted to us by the Maians! Did you really think we evolved from apes on our own!? The answers aren't in history books! How did man come so far, so fast!? There's evidence all over the world of their presence in ancient times! It proves that mankind was guided by an ancient race! ...Underneath the netherworld is where the Maians sleep... [[{{Mayincatec}} The starship Xibalba is here!]] All sorts of civilizations originated there... But the ancient Maians that thrived here died during an intergalactic civil war... The victors were the Bolontiku race that controls Xibalba... [[ToServeMan When the Bolontiku thoughtforms take physical bodies, they will bring destruction to us all!]] That's why we can't go public with this!
-->--'''Maya Okamura''', ''VideoGame/{{Persona 2}}: Innocent Sin'' [[note]]:All of these statements are [[PoesLaw taken from real-life conspiracy theorists]].[[/note]]

->'''Leo Gold''': The entire executive branch is hand-picked. Nineteen of the last twenty-three U.S. presidents have been members of the Trilateral Commission. The Trilateral Commission is financed by the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds. Don’t tell me--\\
'''JC Denton''': That’s a think-tank. Anyone can become a member.\\
'''Leo Gold''': But not everyone does. That’s why they call it the 'secret government'.

->Deb, listen to me Deb. They're at it again and people have got to know. They've got to know because they don't know; they won't report this stuff on the news because they own the news! Conspiracy? This goes beyond conspiracy, okay? There is no word for something as devious and secret as this, you understand? People need to hear this; they need to know the real story! Alright, [[AsYouKnow as we all know]] the Americans established a Moon base back in the [[TheSeventies late seventies]], that's no secret. But what most people don't know is that they have been conducting a dig. Not for resources, but for artifacts. Well, it's no coincidence that the Chinese have started conducting space missions. You know why? I'll tell you why. The reason is because the Chinese are trying to stop the Americans from finding an ancient space probe send by the Beta-Centaurians. And why? Because the Beta-Centaurians are giving space technology to the Chinese to get back at the Andromedans - a.k.a. TheGreys - for giving space technology to the Americans in TheFifties. The American government's been putting more money into space. Don't you see what's happening? I can't believe I'm the only one that's figured it out! Am I the only person alive that can see what's going on? It's because the Andromedans and the Betas are going to be fighting their war in this galaxy through us, Deb. And the American people, the people of Earth, you people, cannot let this happen! It's Mu versus {{Atlantis}} all over again!\\
Deb. I'm about to reveal something that... I'm putting my life on the line. But the people, the people of this city and this country and this planet, they have the right to know this, do you understand? This is serious. There are a lot of organizations who would do anything in their power to keep this a secret. Deb, Deb, this is really serious now, can I finish? All right. Everyone knows they've got cameras at every stoplight so the government can keep tabs on our comings and goings. But did you know that they then sold access to their data bases to TheIlluminati, who has been using that information to compile a list of the most frequently traveled routes and then opening new locations of their well-known chain of coffee houses in the most profitable locations? And did you also know that they use those funds to suppress fusion and solar power? Well they, the Illuminati, control all the world's energy, and, because they monitor all of our energy usage, they can tell who is not watching television and therefore know who is not receiving the subliminal messages that they send to keep the sheep putting their money in banks away from their secret headquarters, a.k.a. Wyoming. As a matter of fact, and again I shouldn't be talking about this, but I believe that it's everybody's right to know that recycling is a myth. All that they do with those bottles and cans is [[ParanoiaFuel collect DNA samples from your saliva, so that they can clone you]]. And train your clone to [[KillAndReplace assassinate you and assume your identity]], should you go poking your nose into the whole global warming business.\\
Deb, this is it! This time I stumbled across something that is bigger than anything you could possibly imagine. A threat to the entire human race's existence. Deb, nothing can prepare the world for this. This is the biggest story in the history of humanity ever! Ever, Deb. How I found this out I can't say, but I'm risking my life to tell the world this. Are you prepared for this? People of Los Angeles, {{vampire}}s walk among us. Hear me out, Deb. Vampires are among us and have been since the dawn of time. And Los Angeles... Well, there's more vampires per person here than anywhere else in the world. People are killed by vampires all the time, but [[WrittenByTheWinners their secret vampire society covers it up]]. Who blew up that warehouse in Santa Monica? Vampires! What happened to the crew of the Elizabeth Dane? Vampires! Want to know what happened to that sarcophagus that disappeared? Vampires took it. The prince of vampires to be more specific. He wants to use it against a league of other vampires that have been trying to get a foothold in our city. And get this! There could be an even older vampire in the sarcophagus. An ancient super-vampire! It's the truth, Deb. TheUndead are all around us. We need to rise up and destroy our evil vampire overlords before it's too late!
-->-- '''Gomez''', ''[[ShowWithinAShow Deb of Night]]'', ''VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines''. [[spoiler:The last "theory" is [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight pretty much a summary of the plot of the game]].]]

->'''Zeke''': "Look, I'm being serious man, now DARPA is the mother-load of black-ops crap. If she's in with those clowns, you better watch out, son."\\
'''Cole''': "Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Santa Claus shot J.F.K, now where are those drinks?"
--> -- ''VideoGame/{{inFAMOUS}}''

->''Lovely woman, [[HMTheQueen the Queen.]] For an [[TheReptilians ancient lizard posing as a human]], anyway. But I tell you, she knows the score. It's the government that didn't want anyone to know about [[AncientConspiracy Dee's prophecy]], not Her Maj. I hope they get her away to India or something. Their climate's better for reptiles, anyway."
-->--'''The Prepper''', ''Videogame/ZombiU''



->Conspiracy theories represent a known glitch in human reasoning. The theories are of course occasionally true, but their truth is completely uncorrelated with the believer's certainty. For some reason, sometimes when people think they've uncovered a lie, they raise confirmation bias to an art form. They cut context away from facts and arguments and assemble them into reassuring litanies. And over and over I've argued helplessly with smart people consumed by theories they were sure were irrefutable, theories that in the end proved complete fictions.
-->-- '''''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'''''


[[folder:Web original]]

->There is of course a dark side to [[AuthorAppeal all the conspiracy elements]] of their films, which is that at least one of them believes in them for real. [Roberto] Orci is a 9/11 truther who previously tweeted about the collapse of WTC 7 (just, you know, asking questions), and on the day of the Boston Marathon bombings, he told his followers to look out for 'evidence of Government drills' in Boston (coded language for suggesting the attack was a '[[FalseFlagOperation false flag]]' operation by our own government).
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', [[http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Kurtzman_Orci_Directing_Star_Trek_3_Venom.aspx "Kurtzman and Orci to direct (and ruin) Venom, Star Trek 3"]]

->Do I really need to go into the politics? It is some of the most inane, delusional, contradictory nonsense ever spewed out on screen. It’s bad when I’m a liberal and [[OffendingTheCreatorsOwn you are making me want to vote for Nixon]]. Basically the evil “government” is responsible for all evils in the world short of throwing babies in a woodchipper (and that’s only because we don’t know about it yet due to the government keeping it hush hush).
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/the-trial-of-billy-jack-tom-laughlin-1974/ on]] ''The Trial of Billy Jack''

->'''Chris''': The fact that Magneto’s plan isn’t to kill people, but to turn them into mutants...Given the metaphor that we’re working with, it’s like Magneto has a laser that turns you gay.\\
'''Matt''': Be careful. (Matt) Drudge is going to pick this up if we say too much more about ''Secret Project Gayzer.''
-->--Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on the ''Film/{{X-Men}}'' film series

->'''Laura''': Neal Adams has actually found a way to shoehorn his Expanding Earth conspiracy theory into a ''Batman'' comic. [[SoBadItsGood Sometimes, dreams do come true.]]\\
'''David''': Given that Adams has been pretty vocal about his theories for quite some time, it’s quite a thing to see it play a direct role in something as notable as a ''Batman'' story. We also have to recognize that apparently [[BeneathTheEarth the inner earth]] was like [[SciFiWritersHaveNoSenseOfScale a ten minute walk from the Batcave]].
-->--'''[[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-odyssey-neal-adams-review/ Laura Hudson]]''', "The Complete and Utter Insanity of ''ComicBook/BatmanOdyssey''"

->[[TheOprahWinfreyShow Oprah]] is the Most Dangerous Woman in the World!
-->--'''David J. Stewart''', ''Jesus-is-Saviour''

->Actually, no real person has a social security number. Notice on your SS card that your name is spelled with all capital letters. This designates the STRAW MAN business, trust or corporation not a person ...If you accept a SS # [[DealWithTheDevil you have just entered a contract and become surety for the government debt.]]
-->--'''Kent Hovind''', "How are evolution, Communism, the new-world order, and [[IntimidatingRevenueService the IRS]] connected?"

->What hard evidence is there that [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Obama]] doesn’t want Ebola in America?
-->--'''Creator/AdamBaldwin''', [[https://twitter.com/AdamBaldwin/status/518293964571418624 3.10.14 Tweet]]

->[=Joe McCarthy=] was [[HiredToHuntYourself probably himself a commie]] portraying a specific role and task on the way towards communizing this country.It was probably a deliberate misdirection ploy to misdirect the public's attention to later subtle communization tactics.

->Perhaps the wackiest example of this was the British journalist Douglas Reed who, seeing that the result of Hitler's policies was the destruction of Germany, concluded, without further evidence, that therefore Hitler was a conscious agent of external forces who deliberately set out to ruin Germany.
-->--'''Murray N. Rothbard''' "[[http://mises.org/daily/2809 The Conspiracy Theory of History Revisited"]]

->I heard tall tales about how doctors got paid premiums to vaccinate our children, and that the medical community is purposely poisoning everyone for every reason under the sun, including population control, money, and even just “[[ForTheEvulz because they’re evil]].”
-->--'''[[http://www.voicesforvaccines.org/i-was-duped-by-the-anti-vaccine-movement/ Maranda Dynda]]''' former anti-vaxxer

->Human beings fill in blanks with imagination, and when faced with superior force those blanks are invariably painted black.
-->--'''[[http://secretsunjr.blogspot.com/2013/02/mib-ufo-virtual-reality-and-reality.html Christopher Loring Knowles]]'''

->Plot idea: 97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.
-->--'''Scott Westerfeld''' tweet

->I suspect that if NASA had claimed that we traveled to the moon based on technology that was secretly left behind by the ancient astronauts, no one would have doubted the landing.
-->--'''[[http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/02/15/1363225/-Eureka-My-earthshaking-new-study-reveals-the-root-cause-of-the-profoundly-stupid?detail=email Susan Grigsby]]''', "Eureka! My earthshaking new study reveals the root cause of the profoundly stupid"

->A truther is a rabid devotee of horseshit—someone who can take any imperfection in a tragic narrative and construct [[ChewbaccaDefense an iron mountain of garbage]] from it. And they'll probably end up dooming us all.
-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/see-what-were-really-missing-here-is-the-vaccine-truth-1641735183 Drew Magary]]''', "A Field Guide to [[{{Eagleland}} American]] Truthers"

->...there’s also just a latent mistrust for the governmental structures, which is especially true in my city, which has been in the throes of institutionalized racism and economic collapse for a very long time. But most conspiracy theorists I’ve interacted with are not victims to that as they seem to come from a [[TheManIsStickingItToTheMan certain level of comfort.]] I think that comfort caters to conspiracy because they’re comfortable enough to think about things and realize how fucked up they are, but instead of recognizing real causes they create an impossibly malicious master plan to explain it all.
-->--'''[[http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/now/media/214739-illuminati-conspiracy-news-hidden Gabriella Garcia]]''', "I hid Illuminati graphics in news broadcasts [[BitingTheHandHumor because I was bored]]"

->Yes, that’s right. The claim that humans die is a conspiracy, or so say believers in transcommunication ...The Butlers are apparently currently the leading experts on the phenomenon after [[TheProblemWithFightingDeath the, uh, death of the founder]], the clinically delusional Sarah Estep.
-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2010/07/44-tom-and-lisa-butler.html Encyclopedia on American Loons]]'' on Tom and Lisa Butler

->The powers that be are in fact watching you at all hours and tracking your every move, but only because they're hoping you'll slip on the ice and [[HarmlessVillain drop your groceries again]].
--> -- '''''TheOnion'''''

->A more likely theory is that, given the number of flowers thrown at her hearse during the funeral, Diana was [[TheDogWasTheMastermind murdered by florists]] who wanted to boost sales.
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on Diana of Wales

->Yes, all the psychiatrists and psychologists of the world and banded together to [[HeteronormativeCrusader invent a fake condition]] just to rob you of your precious titty supply. Good catch.
-->--'''''[[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/40195 Sadly, No]]'''''

->[[Creator/MelGibson Mad Mel]] wasn’t drugged with Jew-hating pills, he’s just a [[HanlonsRazor natural born cunt!]]
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2010/11/01/the-hollywood-whackers-must-be-stopped-so-says-randy--evi/ Michael K.]]''', "The Hollywood Whackers Must Be Stopped"

->"Kloo2yoo,” identified as a site moderator, writes that there is “undeniable proof” of an international feminist conspiracy involving the United Nations, the Obama Administration and others, aimed at [[StrawFeminist demonizing men.]]
-->--The '''Southern Poverty Law Center''' on {{Reddit}}

->So, to wrap things up, there’s only one conclusion one can draw from all this top quality research. TV’s Jimmy Savile is [[Really700YearsOld an immortal energy vampire]] who’s been active since the beginning of time [[IHaveManyNames under a multitude of names]], from [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Vlad the Impaler to the Knights Templar]]. Sometime in the sixties, he was summoned to our time in a ceremony by [[RockMeAsmodeus Mick Jagger and the Beatles]], using the arcane, Satanic wisdom of Aleister Crowley, from where he [[EatsBabies procured children]] for the elite, via the Leeds [[{{Hellgate}} Hell Mouth]], which acted as an energy portal for the Jewish, Masonic vampires that enslave our world. It’s pretty obvious when you look at the facts.
-->-- '''[[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2012/10/15/jimmy-savile-and-david-icke-all-the-pieces-matter/ Stuart Millard]]''', "Jimmy Saville and David Icke - All the Pieces Matter"

->If you were to believe everything you read on the Internet, you'd think that every celebrity is an ambulatory heap of fake body parts mind-controlled by [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama President Obama]], who is a shapeshifting reptoid from a faraway star system (plus, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking having an affair with Beyoncé]])."
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/31-celebrity-conspiracy-theories-ranked-1570845261 "31 Celebrity Conspiracy Theories, Ranked"]]

->Any misplaced pixel on a photo is proof of Photoshop, any misspoken word in a news report is evidence of a cover-up... one guy posts that the Sandy Hook massacre was done by the same squad that 'began their evil twisted careers with the faked death and witness protection escape for [[ElvisLives Elvis]],' and ''[[PoesLaw no one disagrees with him.]]''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21341_5-ways-every-conspiracy-theory-makes-world-worse.html "5 Ways Every Conspiracy Theory 'Makes Sense'"]]


[[folder:Web video]]

->"Why do you hide the fact that you are a Freemason whose mission is to get people as far away from God as possible? You know God exists and Christianity is the truth, which is why you always talk against Christianity. You are one of the many antichrists, you satanic dog. Hell is awaiting you, you little Masonic cunt."
-->--'''Creator/RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]

->If you closely analyze the explosions here, here, and here, you’ll notice that this is a controlled demolition. And if you take all segments and the first letter of each city that each segment was shot in, it spells out the word "CNHOS", which means nothing but it clearly reveals that the government has been infiltrated by TheIlluminati, whose informant, as we all know, is none other than [[Franchise/StarWars Chewbacca]] and the author of the [[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban third]] ''Literature/HarryPotter'' book, which alludes to an alien plot to destroy the world, but not just any alien, but this alien, [[Film/ETTheExtraterrestrial this alien]], and this alien. And who is the only human being who can save us from this GovernmentConspiracy? NicolasCage.
-->-- '''RayWilliamJohnson''' on [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggg3C87UVCY this environmentalist ad]] in the episode aptly titled [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5yEXai8MoQ&t=3m13s "Conspiracy Theory"]]


[[folder:western animation]]

->'''TortureTechnician''': You stole files from our computer. Just tell me what you've learned.\\
'''TheQuestion''': Topically applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It ''does'' render teeth detectable by {{spy satellite}}!\\
'''Torture Technician''': Tell me what you know!\\
'''The Question''': [[WhatTheHeckIsAnAglet The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets]]. Their true purpose is '''sinister'''.\\
'''Torture Technician''': Tell me what you know!\\
'''The Question''': There ''was'' a [[WhoShotJFK magic bullet]]. It was forged by [[TheIlluminati Illuminati]] mystics to prevent us from learning ''the truth!''
-->-- ''JusticeLeagueUnlimited'', "Question Authority"


[[folder:real life]]

->A Jewish Antichrist in the end of this age, pre-supposes an international system of Jewish government. There can be little doubt that such a system, based upon the Jewish Money Power, has already been created -- and is ready to step into the open and assume control of world affairs as soon as the time is ripe.
-->--'''Gordon Winrod''', [[{{Blackshirt}} Nazi sympathizer]]

->How do you {{brainwash|ing}} somebody? Well, first of all, you generally pull a psychological profile or develop one in a preliminary period. You find every vulnerability of that person from a psychoanalytic standpoint. Now the next thing you do is you build them up for fear in males and females of homosexuality, aim them for an anal identification with anal sex, their mouth is identified with fellatio. Their mouth is identified only with the penis--that kind of sex, and with woman. Womanhood is the fellatio of the male mouth in a man who has been brainwashed by the {{KGB}}; that is sucking penises...
-->--'''Lyndon [=LaRouche=]''', eight-time U.S. Presidential candidate

->Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's [[AnalogyBackfire nut]] that held its ground.
-->-- '''David Icke'''

->Who wants to, will know: but who wants to ignore, will deny all the evidence that will be brought, albeit compelling evidence!
-->--'''Serge Monast''', [[HypocriticalHumor anti-New World Order crusader]]

->These fourth dimensional reptilian entities work through these hybrid bloodlines because they have a vibrational compatibility with each other. This is why the European royal and aristocratic families have interbred so obsessively, as do the so called Eastern Establishment families of the United States which produce the leaders of America. Every presidential election since and including UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington in 1789 has been won by the candidate with the most European royal genes.
-->--'''Arizona Wilder'''

->I used to believe in circles.
-->--'''Gene Ray'''

->The [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton Clintons]] and the ‘Mainstream Media’ have been hiding their involvement in [[ComplexityAddiction the creation of the man-made pandemic called AIDS and that this dread disease serves Jewish interests. And they have hidden the truth that they exported poison blood from an Arkansas prison for injection into the arms of black school children in Africa, to fulfill China’s Africa Policy: exterminate the indigineous population to make room for wave upon wave of Chinese immigrants yet to come. Once China occupies Africa, they will seize control of the Mediterranean Sea and choke off America’s primary source of energy. This is the reason the Jews (disguised as environmentalists) have not allowed America to drill domestically for oil or build nuclear power plants for decades. And once China controls the Mediterranean Sea, they can turn the continent of Europe red with communism and the blood of Christians, and finally fulfill the Jew’s eternal goal: to plant the head of the Pope on a pole in Vatican City in sight of the Holy See.]]
-->--'''[[http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2007/10/26/wacky-conspiracy-theory-of-the/ Robert Antonellis]]'''

->Well, you're the one gettin' money for somethin' ya didn't do. You're givin' a lecture for walkin' on the moon. That's called bein' a thief. D'ya think you can git to Heaven without repentin'? Why don't you swear on the Bible that ya walked on the moon?
-->--'''Bart Sibrel''', moments before being [[TalkToTheFist punched in the face]] by Buzz Aldrin

->The reptilian host that my friend shared an apartment with brought into my experience a woman who was literally demon possessed. I referred to her as Demon Infested Deborah.
-->--'''James Bartley'''

->Music/LadyGaga is a pop prostitute, a satanic bitch with [[SubliminalSeduction her fascist and demonic secret signs!]]

->American scientific companies are [[LegoGenetics cross-breeding humans and animals]] and coming up with mice with fully-functioning human brains.
-->--'''Christine O'Connell''', Tea Party activist

->It's really hard to get AIDS. If you're a straight person sleeping with other straight people, it's hard to get AIDS...Those people are trying to [[ItsProbablyNothing scare you away from having sex]], that's why.
-->--'''[[http://www.thetigernews.com/news.php?aid=3770&sid=4 Tucker Max]]'''

->Let us be honest. Who benefits from A.R.V.s? ...Is it not a coincidence that Africa is the poorest continent in the world? Did you ever think that it's in the interest of some people for it ''[[LetNoCrisisGoToWaste to stay that way?]]''
-->--'''Herbert Vilakazi''', AIDS denialist

->The problem with forensic science in general is that it isn't science, it was basically invented by the police.
-->--'''Radley Balko'''

->He is alive call me crazy [you’re welcome] but, [[FakingTheDead Osama Bin Laden is our President Obama]] do your research. The CIA has been preparing for this since he was a boy. They have same height, bone structure, hands and ears both are left handed the Osama face was created by Hollywood. The fox is in the hen house.
-->--'''Zeedra Andrews'''

->President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to [[EspeciallyZoidberg the Indians]]. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords.
-->--'''Bryan Fischer'''

->I wouldn’t doubt it if the CIA is behind [[IllTellYouWhenIveHadEnough Alcoholics Anonymous.]]
-->--'''[[{{Music/Creed}} Scott Strapp]]'''

->You guys think this is real? Your all sheep idiots. Pause the video at 0:02 seconds. You think that's a real boot? If that was a real boot then why would it be black? This is so clearly propaganda from the Bush era. All of this is bollocks, 9/11 was an inside job and the guy who is in this video went missing for 3 days after this was filmed and then turned up covered in jam in a church struggling to breathe dragging the carcass of a camel behind him screaming 'dirty denim doublers. Fuck the administration, this world is a lie.' then he collapsed and died under a bridge. Why would there even be a bridge in a church??? All bollocks. Open your eyes you sheep.
-->--'''elroraps''' on [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy8Yt-P614w this video]] of a guy being kicked from a train.

->The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory, is that conspiracy theorists believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is actually chaotic. The truth is that it is not The Iluminati, or The Jewish Banking Conspiracy, or the Gray Alien Theory. The truth is far more frightening. Nobody is in control. [[{{ComicBook/Watchmen}} The world is rudderless...]]

->Built into the internet is a system for creating cults. So, for example, if I had a blog, which I don't, and I put up something which is a slightly novel and maybe somewhat objectionable interpretation of an event--the Bush administration is trying to poison the water in Boston or something, to pick at random--tomorrow somebody else would say, 'That's right, but [[SnowballLie it's worse than you think]]', and pretty soon you would develop a cult of people proving that the Bush administration is trying to [[OmnicidalManiac poison the world's water]]. It's extremely easy to get caught up in that kind of cultlike behavior, which has a cocoon property not similar to other religious cults, immune to evidence, immune to argument.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky''', 2007

->All of this is pure bunk and is no more important than the fact that my first, middle, and last name [[MarkOfTheBeast all have 6 letters.]]
-->--'''George Lauren''', IBM programmer and avatar of The Dark One

->It is a natural propensity to attribute misfortune to [[NeverMyFault someone's malignity.]]
-->--'''Creator/BertrandRussell''', ''Sceptical Essays''

->I never knew anyone that examined and deliberated about nonsense who did not believe it before the end of his enquiries.
-->--'''David Hume'''

->It is ironic that [[{{Eagleland}} a nation which had never experienced a coup d'état]] should be so obsessed with the idea of conspiracy.
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', "Paranoid Politics"

->The invasion transformed the country. Reality was replaced with a wild and self-serving fiction, a legitimization of the worst prejudices of the masses and paranoia of the outside world. The secret interior world arrayed against Argentina became one of [[StringTheory strange cabals]], [[GreedyJew worldwide Jewry]] trotted out again to be [[TheWarOnStraw beaten like a dead horse]], vast subterranean webs that had as their focus [[EspeciallyZoidberg the destruction of the Argentine people.]]
-->--'''Chris Hedges''' on UsefulNotes/TheFalklandsWar, ''War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning''

->Side by side with the official mythology of a beleaguered government threatened by riots, demonstrations, and unmotivated, irrational assassinations of public figures, a popular mythology has taken shape in the last thirty years that sees government as a conspiracy against the people themselves.
-->--'''Christopher Lasch''', ''The Life of Kennedy’s Death''

->In 1966, 36% of the respondents in a Gallup poll believed that Oswald acted alone. The percent was 11% in both the 1976 and 1983 Gallup polls and 13% in a 1988 CBS poll. This increase in belief in the conspiracy has taken place despite the fact that the accumulation of evidence has increasingly supported the lone assassin theory.
-->--'''Ted Goertzel''', ''Belief in Conspiracy Theories''

->These people love the truth, they just [[IRejectYourReality hate facts.]]
-->-- '''Bill Maher''', on Obama "Birthers".