Quotes / Conspiracy Theorist

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    Films — Live-action 

I'm not crazy. Whatever it is they're guarding so carefully, I need to be able to prove that it's real.
Joe Brody, Godzilla (2014)

    Live-action TV 

Howie: The US government has entire cities hidden in the Norwegian mountains. You see, Earth is on a collision course with this other planet, and this is where they're going to send all the rich people when it kicks off.
Rory: Amazing.
Howie: It's all there on the internet.
Rory: No, it's amazing you've come up with a theory even more insane than what's actually happening.
Doctor Who, "The God Complex"

Ivanov: You see? Yours is not the only life Agent Coulson has so easily tossed aside or hidden behind. This is what he does. Everything is his S.H.I.E.L.D.. The Government, behind you, Director, behind Nick Fury, Stark, all of it stands Agent Coulson, quietly pursuing his alien agenda.
Mace: Conspiracy theories. From the man who literally mounted a conspiracy to have men in masks kill Inhumans.
Ivanov: I'm closing the door he opened. Allowing alien races to infect our world and convincing men like you to protect them. And I will make you admit, to me and yourself, that this is true.

    Music 

"Now Stuart! If you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population: Des Moines, Iowa, for example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart! You can't build anything in it; you can't grow anything in it! The government says it's due to poor farming, but I know what's really going on Stuart! I know it's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for gay martians, I swear to God!"
The Dead Milkmen, "Stuart"

    Radio 
I'm like a chimpanzee, in a tree, jumping up and down, warning other chimpanzees when I see a big cat coming through the woods… I'm the weirdo? Because I'm sitting in a tree going OOH OOH OOH AAH AAH AAH

    Video games 

Zeke: "Look, I'm being serious man, now DARPA is the mother-load of black-ops crap. If she's in with those clowns, you better watch out, son."
Cole: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Santa Claus shot J.F.K, now where are those drinks?"
inFAMOUS

''Lovely woman, the Queen. For an ancient lizard posing as a human, anyway. But I tell you, she knows the score. It's the government that didn't want anyone to know about Dee's prophecy, not Her Maj. I hope they get her away to India or something. Their climate's better for reptiles, anyway."
The Prepper, ZombiU

    Web video 

If you closely analyze the explosions here, here, and here, you’ll notice that this is a controlled demolition. And if you take all segments and the first letter of each city that each segment was shot in, it spells out the word "CNHOS", which means nothing but it clearly reveals that the government has been infiltrated by The Illuminati, whose informant, as we all know, is none other than Chewbacca and the author of the third Harry Potter book, which alludes to an alien plot to destroy the world, but not just any alien, but this alien, this alien, and this alien. And who is the only human being who can save us from this Government Conspiracy? Nicolas Cage.

    Western animation 

Torture Technician: You stole files from our computer. Just tell me what you've learned.
The Question: Topically applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It does render teeth detectable by spy satellite!
Torture Technician: Tell me what you know!
The Question: The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister.
Torture Technician: Tell me what you know!
The Question: There was a magic bullet. It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth!
Justice League Unlimited, "Question Authority"

Vendel: You've never met a conspiracy theory you didn't like.
Blinky: I hate conspiracies. That is why I am dedicates to rooting them out.
Vendel: Like you rooted out the plot to rid Trollmarket of all its cat meat?
Blinky: That was a misunderstanding.
Vendel: Or the time you were convinced we were infested with flea trolls?
Blinky: Precaution is the soul of virtue.
Vendel: Everyone in Troll Market thinks you're paranoid.
Blinky: If it's everyone, it must be a conspiracy!
Blinky and Vendel, "To Catch a Changeling", Trollhunters

    real life 

You guys think this is real? Your all sheep idiots. Pause the video at 0:02 seconds. You think that's a real boot? If that was a real boot then why would it be black? This is so clearly propaganda from the Bush era. All of this is bollocks, 9/11 was an inside job and the guy who is in this video went missing for 3 days after this was filmed and then turned up covered in jam in a church struggling to breathe dragging the carcass of a camel behind him screaming 'dirty denim doublers. Fuck the administration, this world is a lie.' then he collapsed and died under a bridge. Why would there even be a bridge in a church??? All bollocks. Open your eyes you sheep.
elroraps on this video of a guy being kicked from a train.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/ConspiracyTheorist