Quotes: Cliché Storm

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    Literature 

"The writing was okay, I guess. But I couldn't take it anymore after Harry returned from his first run-in with the Dementors to find the Ring Wraiths had burned the Lars Homestead.

It seems like I already heard these stories before... only thing is, the names sound different."
Grandma, Ceremony

    Live-Action TV 

"You know, you're fast becoming a prey to every cliché-ridden convention in the American West."

"I can see it now: the lonely little girl befriended by empathetic aliens who teach her how to smile. It's enough to make you go out and buy a television set. Next!"
—Pulp writer Herbert Ross, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Far Beyond the Stars")

    Newspapers 

"The catalogue of clichés and obvious situations is as long as the play, which seemed endless. At each rise of the curtain it was possible not only to anticipate the argument but the phrasing of the lines. Probably the only thing that kept the audience from chanting the speeches with the actors was the incurable optimism implicit in theatregoing which engenders the hope that the author just could not dare to use such familiar stuff: 'Doctor, he's just got to get well!' — 'Go ahead, son, every man has to cry sometime,' etc."
Donald Maggini, quoted by George Jean Nathan in his review of the play Winged Victory by Moss Hart

"In due course we arrive at the Mirror Scene: "She was not even comforted by the sight of her naturally rosy skin, her round shoulders, the hair which fell down to her hips and took four buckets of rain water to wash." The Nubile Scene: "She had always avoided undressing even in front of other women, because she was ashamed of her breasts, which were large, big and generous even for a woman of her build." Wisdom Phrases: "The dangers of beauty are well known: narcissism, irresponsibility, selfishness." Or, "Evil people always support each other; that is their chief strength." Like Hitler and Stalin?"
Gore Vidal, The Top Ten Best Sellers According to the Sunday New York Times as of January 7, 1973

"I had already taken in a Deanna Durbin musical and had just settled down miserably to a 1938 Warner Brothers gangster movie called Angels with Dirty Faces. Then it happened. Midway through the first reel, one of the supporting players snarled, "Them rotten coppers will never get Rocky Sullivanhe's too smart for them," and at that instant I knew, as if by magic, everything that was going to take place during the rest of the movie, right down to that final scene where Rocky Sullivan would be dragged screaming to the electric chair... it suddenly dawned on me that the early scenes of virtually every Hollywood movie of that era contained a similar moment of précis—a brief exchange of dialogue, or, in some instances, merely one line, that gave away the entire film... Once the experienced viewer extracted this essence he could switch off his set and go to bed, where simply by adding a generous amount of mental hot water he could turn it into a full-length feature, creating what I've lately come to think of as the Instant Movie, a potion that can be consumed in two or three fast gulps just before sleep."
Thomas Meehan, "Add Hot Water; Serves Fourteen Million"

"Armageddon reportedly used the services of nine writers. Why did it need any?"

    Video Games 

WE ARE THE REAL MONSTERS
no, that's the zombies

"WHAT'S THIS? THE VAULT HUNTER IS BREAKING INTO TORGUE SECURITY! WHAT A RENEGADE! A RENEGADE COP WHO DON'T PLAY BY NOBODY'S RULES UNTIL THE COMMISSIONER ASSIGNS HIM A TALKING ROBOT DOG FOR A PARTNER WHO HELPS HIM TRACK DOWN THE CRIME SYNDICATE THAT MURDERED HIS FAMILY ALL THE WHILE TEACHING HIM A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT LIFE IN THE PROCESS THURSDAYS AT NINE!"

    Web Original 

"If the cheap gray suit doesn't tip you off to Walken's chosen profession, he helpfully waves around the empty coffee cup of the Shopworn But Still Wily Police Detective. I'm surprised he doesn't take a flask from his coat pocket and fill the cup."

"One day this hot babe shows up and is like, 'Yo. Hercules. My dad, John Hurt, is getting totally douched by this warlord. We'll pay you mad gold nuggets if you come help. Also, centaurs are real.' So Hercules is like fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, even though Hercules is getting too old for this shit, and they bop over to Thrace in their hero-chariots to do John Hurt a solid...Of course John Hurt immediately looks at the girl one and goes, 'I fear that the task ahead might not be suitable for a woman,' so she's like oh yeah? BOOSH. And she shoots an arrow really good. And John Hurt's eyebrows are all, 'What sorcery is this!?!? It looks like a woman, but it acts like a human being, kind of!' And Hercules is like [pat, pat] on her widdle head."
Lindy West, "Brett Ratner's Hercules Is Bullshit and I Will Never Forgive Him"

"It’s ironic that a movie based on a superhero who’s power is derived from his imagination is so derivative and unimaginative."

"Smallville is a story you can find many other places, better executed, and without the excess fat. Smallville's like walking to work when you usually drive. Except it doesn’t get you exercise, and the music sucks. "
ComicsAlliance on Smallville'' ("Finale")

"If you ever saw a chase scene from Law & Order, a movie where a guy has to disarm a bomb, or a scene where someone has to go undercover in a casino, watch that instead. Nick Wolfe does all those things, and he does it in the most boring way possible. The only fun that can be derived from most of his scenes is naming off all the movies his character is ripping off from as he speaks."
The Screamsheet on Highlander: The Raven

"If you held a gun to the head of the most secluded Eskimo seal farmer and said, "List California stereotypes," you would not be able to distinguish his list from a GTA V Mission FAQ."

Eskimo: B-breast implants! Bottled water! T-traffic! Please! This is no way to write a video game!

"There are too many stories about hot elf chicks and poor village boys. Or farm boys, whatever. They all seem to get their villages burned down and a parent murdered here and there by a dark overlord. And thus begins another cliche-plot!"
Soap Committee, How Not to Run a Comic

     Web Video 

Joe: Sometimes, the only way to deal with a madman is to send in another madman.
[beat]
Linkara: That's a stupid plan.
Joe: Exactly! A stupid plan for a stupid man.
Linkara: Are you high?!

"I mean, I realize these are all cliches for a reason, but they're gleaned from multiple sources; it's not like there's one movie with ALL of these things — until now."
Good Bad Flicks and Allison Pregler on Lethal (2005)

Mall Santa: I'm not a detective anymore.
Jack: (watching) This is henceforth called Everything!: The Movie.
Best of the Worst Christmas Special on Elves

At this point the turbolift opens, revealing an cop-on-the-edge who doesn't play by the rules, a greedy corporate big-wig looking to get rich by poisoning the water supply, and a skinny black guy whose job it is to say 'Dayymn!' and refer to 'My black ass!'
SFDebris on Star Trek: Voyager, "Twisted"

Flo Rida rattles off a stream-of-consciousness string of derivative club dance buzzwords, dutifully namechecking the fact that he has a private jet, that 'bottles' and 'models' are present and that he has literally so much money he doesn’t know what to do with it all to the point he doesn’t even sound enthusiastic about it.

"It has an orphan, a dame, and a rusty old fighter nobody believed in, and damned if it doesn’t play every terrible cliché completely straight."