Quotes: Cleveland

"All the little kids growing up on the skids
Go 'Cleveland rocks!', 'Cleveland rocks!'"

"Hey, Browns, Mike Polk, season ticket holder. Killer game in Houston today. Well thank God we built you, what a blessing for the community! You are wasting valuable space on our majestic shoreline, and what do we get out of it from you? Ten miserable games a year, including two preseason games that I have to pay for and one shitty Kenny Chesney concert. Do you understand that it is actually statistically harder for a team to be this consistently bad than it is for them to be accidentally occasionally good; the probability is STAGGERING! Did you happen to see that Packers-Chargers game today? It's like they're playing a different sport than you are! And here's what you have to understand- we don't even expect you to be good, we just want you to be watchable. Do you have any idea how low our expectations are? We don't expect you to win the Superbowl, we just want you to look better than a Division 3 high school team! And listen, I know that there are way more important things in life than football, but you are supposed to be our pleasant distraction from those things; but all we do is pay you money to put us in a bad mood every week.
... YOU ARE A FACTORY OF SADNESS!!
I'll see you Sunday."