Quotes: Child Hater

Real Life

Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
— Leo Rosten, about W. C. Fields.

Well, you’ll never fly in it. You’re too fat to be an astronaut.
Prince Phillip smashes the dreams of a 13-year-old looking at the NOVA spacecraft, Salford University

"You can't have a fucking screen in a modern game these days that isn't fucking busy with shit happening constantly, because you're fucking ADD little pieces of crap. Yes, I'm talking about you, Millennials."
Yahzee and Gabe Let's Play Flashback (2012)

There should be a new Fashion Week rule. If you want to bring your kid, you have to sit them next to Anna Wintour, because whenever she’s next to a child she looks about as comfortable as Mama June sitting next to a healthy salad bar. Children at fashion shows will be Anna Wintour’s demise!

Fiction

Because, my little artichoke, I'm 16 and you're 10. DO THE MATH!!!

Manny: I wuv you, Awnt Cakey.
Aunt Cakey: Somebody get this kid to a speech therapist.

Oh look, what clever children! See them study, see them learn! How I HATE those goodie-goodies, how it makes my stomach turn!

You're not people. You're kids.
Bank teller, The Little Rascals

Maude: I HATE babies, and I hate children. They're dirty, sniveling, snotting, vile, puking little
Tommy: Enough already! What is wrong with you?? You make soft ice cream, okay? It's purely for kids! What kind of psycho are you? Just so I understand this, why make children happy if you hate them?
Maude: Oh, you stupid, sniveling, snotty-
Tommy: Shut up!
Maude: Brat! The ice cream is a front. We distribute other non-dairy products.

You know, I do really hate children!
Dolores Umbridge, Harry Potter

Grelod the Kind: And one more thing! I will hear no more talk of adoptions! None of you riff-raff is getting adopted. Ever! Nobody needs you, nobody wants you. That, my darlings, is why you're here. Why you will always be here, until the day you come of age and get thrown into that wide, horrible world. Now, what do you all say?
Orphans: [unenthusiastically] We love you, Grelod. Thank you for your kindness.
Grelod the Kind: That's better. Now scurry off, my little guttersnipes.

One of these days, I swear I'll blow kids straight off the face of the earth. All they're good for is annoying adults. Well, finally they'll be put to good use. Who'd of thought that simply saying a trip to DisneyLand would convince the kids to stay? They're so stupid!

But pray, mistake me not.
I've no interest in children, and still less in men.
???, Bravely Default

I'm not going to lie - I despise children. There, I've said it.
Underwood to the audience, House of Cards (US)