"Give 'em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus, bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?"
— Billy Flynn, Chicago
"That's just a way to shut them up. It's not proving that you're right in any way."
— Prinny Commentary, Disgaea
Dad: You are confused, so I am the winner. Ho ho ho!
"If you can't convince them, try to confound them."
— Spanish proverb
"Winning isn't about being the best. It's about being so incredibly bad that no one can ignore you!"
— Gazpacho, Chowder
[If I am a defendant,] I don't want a competent lawyer. I want a lawyer who's going to get me off. I want a lawyer who will invent the Twinkie Defense [...] I would not consider the Twinkie Defense an invention of a competent lawyer [...] but I want a lawyer who's going to win for me.
— Antonin Scalia in United States v. Gonzalez-Lopez
Octavia: ... that's so stupid, I don't know how to respond.
Vinyl: Hurray, that means I win by default!
If the evidence is on your side, pound on the evidence. If the law is on your side, pound on the law. If neither one is on your side, pound on the table.
—Traditional lawyers' joke