The advent and popularity of these flashy pieces of (non)armor have set my mind to wonder: Why do people wear such armor? What sort of protection does it afford? Do the protected members contain regenerative qualities that will aid the rest of the body after it has been hacked to bits? What odd sports do these folk engage in that armored undergarments would aid them? Plagued for months by such questions, I at last found the answer to my question, as well as finding the maker and seller of such finery — Boom's Garden of Waterdeep.
Though I cannot imagine doing battle in this constrictive and torturous device, many female warriors swear that the attractiveness produced by an armored corset often lets them avert combat altogether.
Nothing turns on a man like metal lingerie that, by our count, has 13 different points capable of tearing open your scrotum if she makes an unexpected move.
This particular hero was a heroine. A redheaded one. Now, there is a tendency at a point like this to look over one's shoulder at the cover artist and start going on at length about leather, thighboots and naked blades. Words like 'full', 'round' and even 'pert' creep into the narrative, until the writer has to go and have a cold shower and a lie down. Which is all rather silly, because any woman setting out to make a living by the sword isn't about to go around looking like something off the cover of the more advanced kind of lingerie catalogue for the specialised buyer.
She wouldn't have a full uniform yet, not until someone had taken a, well, let's face it, a breastplate along to old Remitt the armourer and told him to beat it out really well here and here.
Durkon: Tha's na
leather armor! Leather armor be stiff an' boiled to deflect blows. Merchant:
Of course, men's
leather armor. Women's leather armor amounts to any attractive outfit that has one or more leather items in it. I once sold one winsome young lass a leather headband that was more effective than plate.
Resident Evil characters officially reached their lowest point when they brought us squeaky-voiced midget Napoleon, but they successfully carve out a third sub-basement in the barrel with one of the sidekick characters in this game, a military sniper who wears sexy, high-fashioned outfits on assignment. We have a uniform, lady, because in these games the usual policy is to
shoot the things that look retarded!"
(Indecent Invulnerability) — Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
It's lingerie! Marcus:
It's +1 to AC and +2 to Charisma! Chuck:
Because I've got my armor, which is really rather silly, on
(It's cut so low I feel like I'm the topless tow'rs of Ilion,
And isn't any use against attackers sagittarian).
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!
Yes, her "battlesuit". Diabetus:
Yes. Of course. slowbeef:
If anyone fires lasers at [her] breasts or vagina, it's fine.
"This is the bottom half of a chain-mail bikini. It'll completely protect you from injury, and by 'you' we mean 'your crotch and 40% of your backside.' Because, really, what else matters?"
"God forbid the warrior of Valis find something to protect her bare thighs and lower torso, right?"