Quotes: Can't Get Away with Nuthin'

Drive me insane, trouble is gonna come to you
One of these days and it won't be long
You'll look for me but baby, I'll be gone
This is all I gotta say to you woman,
Your time is gonna come
Led Zeppelin, "Your Time Is Gonna Come"

"After his vivid future-flash, a panicked Slater quits the wrestling team, which is bad news for Zack, whose bet with Nedick is at stake. So, the blonde bastard surfs on the wave of sexism and washes up on the shore of another scheme. Inspired by Max’s tale of his own father quitting his job, only to have his mom drape an apron around his neck and show him where the kitchen is, causing him to run screaming from the house and back to work to avoid her stupid, female nagging, Zack whips out his cellular phone Zack whips out his cellular phone. Putting on his best guidance counselor voice, he convinces Slater’s dad, the Major, to make his son find an after-school activity to replace the wrestling. The only activity Slater’s interested in is girl-watching, so Zack suggests the one place where you’ll find tons of the little madams shaking their tushes; but such a place will take a special kind of guy to be able to handle it.

“Are you man enough,” asks Zack, “for… the cooking club?” It is a hilarious notion, I grant you. A man in the kitchen...What do you know, Slater bakes a perfect cake, and the girls, who’ve increasingly shown themselves to drop into fan-wafting vapour fits at any vaguely romantic deed, are positively simpering at how sensitive he is, because he’s baked one fucking cake. Devastated by the failure of his latest plan, Zack calls himself a hula hoop. Don’t be so hard on yourself, buddy."
Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell, So Excited, So Scared

"On December 28th, Lance Armstrong pulled a classic Lance Armstrong when he crashed into two parked cars with his SUV while driving home from a party in Aspen, CO and got his girlfriend Anna Hansen to agree to take the blame for him. Anna tried to work things out with the cars’ owner by agreeing to pay for the damages, but he called the cops anyway. Anna later told police that she lied about driving, because she’s sick and tired of the evil media dragging her angelic man’s pristine reputation through a puddle of bull diarrhea. I could see where she was coming, because if we all found out that Lance (probably drove drunk and) crashed into parked cars, his image as an upstanding pillar of truth and integrity would be damaged forever! ....Add that $388.50 to the $10 million Lance has to pay a sports insurance company for lying about doping up. Lance Liestrong is reportedly worth over $100 million, so $10,000,388.50 is probably not going to bankrupt him, but he should still keep his mouth shut, stay inside and sit on his hands. Because it feels like every time he opens up his crusty lie hole and gets behind the wheel of anything, he fucks up and has to pay fines and shit. If he keeps the foolery up, he’ll run out of money to pay off people and fines and will have to get a job selling tricycles at Big Lots. (“Um, no, we don’t hire lying bitches, thankyouverymuch!” – an official spokesperson from Big Lots)"
Michael K., "Lance Armstrong Finally Takes The Blame After Getting His Girlfriend To Take The Blame"

Don't say it feels good, don't you do it
If it tastes good, throw it away
It's a sad truth, don't deny it
If you're gonna play. you're gonna pay
K.T. Oslin, "You Can't Do That"