Quotes / Cannot Tell a Joke

"Okay here's the problem: You can't make something funny by just giggling as you read it because it mentions body hair, sex and armpits, unless you're in fifth grade. You actually get much more of a laugh when you are trying to be serious."

Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie! Whatís worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Pinkie Pie: What?
Fluttershy: The Apocalypse.
[Pinkie's jaw drops at Fluttershy.]
Pinkie Pie: HALF A WORM! Thatís how the joke goes, Shy! Biting into an an apple and finding half a worm!

Riptide: Nautica, to be a quantum mechanic, all you have to do is put the word 'quantum' in front of other words. True or false?
Nautica: Both.
Riptide: Eh?
Nautica: It's both, simultaneously. True and false. It depends on the quantized energy state of each proposition.
Riptide: Eh?
Nautica: It's a joke.
Riptide: Oh. Are jokes not funny where you come from?

"You are the worst comedian I have ever heard! And I heard Batman trying to tell a joke!"
The Joker after hearing Deadshot' attempt to tell a joke, Suicide Squad Abridged
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/CannotTellAJoke