Quotes / Camp Straight

"Jennifer Aniston wears a cock ring necklace in Horrible Bosses 2. Sorry, Jen, but Magic Earring Ken wore a cock ring necklace first and he wore it better"

"Dildos, incidentally, are used for comic effect throughout this permanently flexing, closeted fratboy, macho romp. Thereís also a little person in a fight scene, for literally no other reason than to have him hauled into the air by Dwayne Johnson while his tiny legs kick against the wall, as Michael Bay guffaws offscreen into a giant mountain of coke."

David: We had to get to it eventually: Right now, in Metropolis, every day is Thriller Night.
Chris: If this show wouldíve opened with Clark wearing that jacket and telling Lois 'Iím not like other guys,' I would declare it the greatest use of television ever."
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Shield")

Anders: Sometimes we talk like little girls. At least one of us...
Troels: Wha- How dare you! If anyone's the woman in this relationship it's you! You love romance and cry at movies constantly!
Anders: Says the man who just watched Jean Aya and didn't like the Pride and Prejudice series because he prefers the movie Mr. Darcy.
Troels: Jane Eyre!! Say it fucking right!!
Anders Holm and Troels Overgaard from the Danish podcast Movie Talk sum up their relationship.

"They are not a couple, or even gay for that matter. Just very, very Danish."
Humon on the above quote.

"People with good taste in television might recognize Mike as the ridiculous cartoon of a man who went on to become the American Gladiator named Thor and the American Gladiator named Titan. Mike is what sexy firemen use as their calendars."

"In the first movie, Travolta plays a streetwise kid who likes to dance at discos on the weekend. In the sequel, he's a Broadway dancer who wears scraps of denim and rolls in grease before performances. This was what the 1980s did to people."

"That guy is so gay, I'll bet you anything he's straight."
Peter Dragon talking about a director, Action

Zarbon: Lord Freeza, I really need to use the Space Skype.
Freeza: Zarbon, what could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt me during my call?
Zarbon: Well, I need to call my girlfriend.
Freeza: Well, I... Ginyu, I'll call you back. Come again?
Zarbon: You see, our one-year anniversary is coming up and I want to see where she wants to go so we can make our reservations early.
Freeza: Oh... and all this time I could have sworn you were — never mind.
Zarbon: What, you thought I was single?

"Maybe I'm gay, or maybe stereotypes are bullshit!"

Frasier: Don't take this wrong, but... it never even occurred to me that you might be gay.
Tom: Well, it never even occurred to me that you might be straight.
Frasier: ...Thank you.

Barney: [Gay people] start something, then six months later everyone follows. It's like, now everyone gets manicures.
Ted: Yeah, I don't get manicures.
Barney: Okay then, like how, like getting your chest waxed.
Lily: (gasp) You get you chest waxed?

Dr. Girlfriend: Sweetie, isn't that the guy from Depeche Mode?
The Monarch: Oh, no way, where? Holy crap, he's with a girl!
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh yeah, that guy is totally straight. I saw a whole thing about him on the VH1.
The Monarch: But he's the guy from Depeche Mode! That's impossible!
Dr. Girlfriend: Straight!
The Monarch: Come on, he's in Depeche Mode!

"Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still put my panties on one leg at a time, if you know what I mean."

Raj: No, I'm not gay, if anything I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means I like women as well as their skincare products.
The Big Bang Theory, "The Transporter Malfunction"

"I have a girlfriend now, myself, which is weird because Iím probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years. I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in Heaven they built, like, three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out and it was like, 'You marked that one gay, right?' and it was like, 'Oh no! Was I supposed to?' and they were like, 'Oh man, well thisíll be a very interesting person. Thisíll be a very silly person.'"