"I think you mean oppressed."
Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn't bother with someone that young.
Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room, listening to that Divinyls song "I Touch Myself". (off everyone's looks) Of course, I had no idea what it was about.
Ford: I'd love to, but if you guys already had plans... Would I be imposing?
Xander: Oh, only in the literal sense.
In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs."
—>Willow and Xander
"Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'"
"You have too many thoughts."
"Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people! Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?"
"I've known you for two minutes and I can barely stand you, I don't really feature you living forever."
"Yeah, well, I'm not much of one for tradition. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now, pet?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
"Could you not call me that?"
(unfazed) "We all have flaws."
"I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag."
"What I see is that right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar."
"Gotta side with her on this one, D. You look like a big ninny."
"Well, NEITHER DO I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, because I'm still dying. (Buffy's speechless) I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something. I've got maybe six months left, and by then, what they bury won't even look like me. It'll be bald, and shriveled, and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way. I'm sorry, Summers! Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?"
"I believe that's called growing up."
"I'd like to stop then, okay?"
"You mean life?"
"Yeah. Does it get easy?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Lie to me."
"Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day! No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
- Visit unabridged version HERE.