Quotes / Bluff the Impostor

Shelbyville Kid: If you're from Shelbyville, how come we've never seen you at school?
Bart: Uh, I don't go to school.
Kid: OK... what's 2 + 2?
Bart: Five.
Kid: Eh, his story checks out.
The Simpsons, "Lemon of Troy"

Weld: This is good work, but it doesnít excuse or make up for what happened earlier.
Shadow Stalker: Whatever.
Weld: No. This is serious. You assaulted a team member. Iím not about to let that slide.
Shadow Stalker: What are you going to do?
Weld: After these guys are securely in custody, weíre going to have words with the Director. She wants you on this team, for whatever reason, so I donít expect your probation will be broken, but thereís going to be consequences.
Shadow Stalker: Fuck.
Weld: And youíre going to apologize to Kid Win. I donít ever want you assaulting him again.
Shadow Stalker: Stop fucking testing me. Iím too tired for this. It wasnít Kid Win.
Weld: Who was it, then?
Shadow Stalker: Fuck off! Itís me.
Weld: Hey. Who was it?
Shadow Stalker: Clockblocker.
Weld: Heads up! Trap!

Parker: You're a former Minden Boy like meself! 2nd Royal Fusiliers, under old Hiron Boot Samuel.
"Janus": Yes, yes, of course.
Parker: Tried to go over 'is 'ead once. Got 20 days in the slammer for me trouble.
"Janus": Because an army runs on a strict adherence to the chain of command. Otherwise we'd be courting anarchy, eh, old chap?
Parker: (suspicious) Right you are, sir...
(after the two are escorted out)
Penelope: Something seemed rather off about our host, wouldn't you agree, Parker?
Parker:Mmm...
Penelope: I take it that's a yes?
Parker: Milady, we 2nd Fuzzees weren't the Minden Boys; we were the Shiners. And Samuel wasn't the Colonel; 'e was the Colonel's dog. That Janus isn't who 'e claims to be.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/BluffTheImpostor