everything spins around and suddenly i'm elsewhere...
i'm on a pirate ship in he middle of he ocean!
a pirate is here! he says:
"yarr me matey! we set sail for the missing caps lock key!"
the pirate runs me through for absolutely no reason whatsoever!
**i can't do anything more, i'm dead!**
"Once, in the airport in Miami, we were stopped by a plump middle-aged man who had known Tennessee whom he called Tom from the old days in St. Louis. The man seemed perfectly ordinary. He talked to Tennessee about friends they had in common. Then I noticed that the man was carrying a large string bag containing two roast turkeys and a half dozen loaves of bread. "What," I asked, "is that?" The man gave us a knowing wink. "Well, I got me two roast turkeys in here. And also these loaves of bread because you know about the food here in Miami." Then he was gone. It would seem that the true artist need never search for a subject; the subject always knows how to find him."
Chris: Bruce sleeps upside down, like a bat.
David: Tim Burton, I know that was your idea, and you suck.
"Yes, this is really happening. We are really watching Patrick Stewart dance the mambo. What were you expecting from a Star Trek movie anyway, action and adventure? Oh, right."
"Next up is a phony newscast from Channel 102, hosted by George Hamilton and Vanna White. Not characters, mind you, they're going by their real names in this movie. This is rapidly getting surreal. 'Hi, I'm Chuck Woolery. George Hamilton has the night off.' Who does the morning show, Paula Abdul and Adam Curry? ...'Andy, how's it looking out there?' George pitches over to the weather. And it's Andy Dick doing the weather. ANDY FUCKING DICK. I really can't take much more of this."
"Instead of being funny, this movie is just weird. Why the hell is Hudson being followed by a pair of twins that look like Rick Astley? Why is Sandra Bernhard singing “I’ve got the Power” in the middle of a meeting of the bad guys? Why the fuck is David Caruso in a dress...okay that got a chuckle but it still makes no sense. Although Frank, Caruso in a dress *puts glasses on* is more erotic than his work in Jade. YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"''
"Good of you to notice that I was getting bored, Heavy Rain, but this was like splicing a song and dance routine into the middle of Zodiac."
"Speaking of interesting RPG towns, here we have Zozo. All we're told about the place is that it was constructed by poor exiles from the upper-class city of Jidoor. That much I can wrap my head around. What's never explained are all the giants and cutthroats wandering around, the corpses in the streets, and the perpetually-lying residents' obsession with the clock. There's a chainsaw hidden in the cafe, none of the shops have anything for sale, and the only man who tells the truth ("This place is dangerous!") is a huckster pushing tubes of Rust-Aid(tm) for a grand apiece. This is some real EarthBound-grade weirdness here, and all the stranger for how it never even tries to explain or acknowledge itself."
—Pat R., "The World Is Square"
"I don't understand what the last five minutes did... I feel like this must be what it's like to have a seizure!"
"What was that? I feel so overdramatic."
— Mina Beff, Grojband, "Knight To Remember"