Quotes: Big Lipped Alligator Moment
Once, in the airport in Miami, we were stopped by a plump middle-aged man who had known Tennessee
whom he called Tom from the old days in St. Louis. The man seemed perfectly ordinary. He talked to Tennessee about friends they had in common. Then I noticed that the man was carrying a large string bag containing two roast turkeys and a half dozen loaves of bread
. 'What,' I asked, 'is that?' The man gave us a knowing wink. 'Well, I got me two roast turkeys in here. And also these loaves of bread because you know about the food here in Miami.
' Then he was gone. It would seem that the true artist need never search for a subject; the subject always knows how to find him.
everything spins around and suddenly i'm elsewhere... i'm on a pirate ship in he middle of he ocean! a pirate is here! he says: "yarr me matey! we set sail for the missing caps lock key!" the pirate runs me through for absolutely no reason whatsoever! **i can't do anything more, i'm dead!**
What was that? I feel so overdramatic.
— Mina Beff
, "Knight To Remember"
I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
The chiropractor from Ed Wood
spends a lot of the movie lying on tables and eating pies. ...Which doesn't really pay off at all. He's just—he's in the movie for a while. Jay:
Well, you gotta have something to put in the movie. Josh:
Yeah. So, these dinosaurs— (is drowned out by Jack's laughter) Jack:
"I mean, you gotta have something
in the movie!" Never has there been a more cynical way
of looking at a movie, Jay.
Next up is a phony newscast from Channel 102, hosted by George Hamilton and Vanna White
. Not characters, mind you, they're going by their real names
in this movie. This is rapidly getting surreal. 'Hi, I'm Chuck Woolery. George Hamilton has the night off.'
Who does the morning show, Paula Abdul
and Adam Curry
? ...'Andy, how's it looking out there?' George pitches over to the weather. And it's Andy Dick doing the weather. ANDY FUCKING DICK. I really can't take much more of this.
Instead of being funny, this movie is just weird. Why the hell is Hudson being followed by a pair of twins that look like Rick Astley
? Why is Sandra Bernhard singing “I’ve got the Power” in the middle of a meeting of the bad guys? Why the fuck is David Caruso in a dress...okay that got a chuckle
but it still makes no sense. Although Frank
, Caruso in a dress *puts glasses on* is more erotic than his work in ''Jade
Yes, this is really happening. We are really watching Patrick Stewart
dance the mambo. What were you expecting from a Star Trek
movie anyway, action and adventure? Oh, right.
I don't understand what the last five minutes did... I feel like this must be what it's like to have a seizure!