18th Nov: We've switched servers and will be updating the old code over the next couple months, meaning that several things might break. Please report issues here.
Don't mess with me, my fuse is short
Beneath this skin these fragments caught
When I allow it to be
There's no control over me
—Peter Gabriel, "Darkness"
Snake: (upon seeing Samus) So this rose has thorns... Interesting...
Colonel: This is no time for pickup lines, Snake.
Snake: Don't worry. I know from experience that it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
Seras Victoria (to Zorin Blitz): You called him [Pip Bernadotte] a gnat, didn't you? You called him a gnat. You'll pay for this. You will pay! You're going to pay! YOU'LL PAY! [...] Even if I were about to die, I wouldn't drink a single god-damned drop of your evil blood! I don't want you...inside of me! [...] How does it feel having someone fuck with your head!? HOW DOES IT FEEL, YOU BITCH!?
Hellsing Soldiers (as they watch in horror as Seras kill Zorin): Look at her... How can that be!? The same sweet girl we knew before.
"Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else — word one — I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you. This fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming — as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will only catch a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."
— Tycho, Penny Arcade
''As quick as lightning, she could turn from smiling angel to angry ogre. Yeah, no doubt about it, they're sisters all right."
"If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat. They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word."
— Samuel Vimes, Men at Arms
"There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man."
— Kvothe, The Name of the Wind
"Ang mabait, pag magalit, malupit." Rough translation
— Old Filipino saying
"I'm sure you're not threatening the younglings. Because you really don't want to see me angry. And I think you're smart enough to know that. But if you want to try me, go ahead and make that threat."
— Luke Skywalker, Legacy of the Force: Inferno
"Something so innocent can not be good."
— Tate, Weesh
"You might call them soft, because they're very reluctant to kill, and they might agree with you, but they're soft the way the ocean is soft, and, well; ask any sea captain how harmless and puny the ocean can be."
— Zakalwe, on The Culture
— Willow, just before flaying Warren alive, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Villains"
"Jacob is way too nice a guy for the number of ways he knows how to kill people."
—Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Mass Effect 2
"Is Wayne Brady going to have come up there and choke a bitch?"
— Wayne Brady, Chapelles Show
"... and the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose."
— Witches Abroad on Magrat Garlic
"I'm in a bad mood, understand?"
— Rhinox on Dinobot picking a very bad time to argue about the chain of command, Beast Wars
"When kind men grow angry, things are about to change."
— Harry Dresden, Blood Rites
"In five years, we'll either be working for him or dead by his hand."
"I always give a chocolate bar to that quiet guy at work. That way, when he goes on a rampage with a shotgun, all he does to me is say; 'Thanks for the candyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...' "
— Dane Cook
"...At the end, the bear had his guts eaten out by the hound dogs of this smart mouse. This movie has to be rated mature.
I couldn't move out of fear even after the credits.
I thought Kouri might have fainted, but she actually looked like she had just finished watching an epic movie.
That was the first time I feared this girl."
"He never raised his voice, that was the worst thing. The fury of the Time Lord. And then we discovered why, why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he'd run away from us and hidden. He was being kind. He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy, to be imprisoned there forever. He still visits my sister, once a year, every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is, can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror. Every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you, just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time, and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England as their protector. We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure that we did."
— The Son, Doctor Who, "Family Of Blood"
"Now, let me just make something clear — I'm ordinarily a very kind-hearted person. For instance, on the occasion when my little sister took my favorite scarf and tried to wrap it around Shamisen as a joke, and Shamisen, entirely unimpressed by the whole affair, responded as any cat would by flailing tooth and claw in every direction until the scarf was reduced to an unidentifiable mess of wool and fibre, I was understanding enough to let the both of them off with no worse than a poke to the forehead. That's just the kind of guy I am.
When you've managed to drive a guy like that into a proper rage, you know things are getting serious."
— Kyon, Haruhi Suzumiya
"I had thought you peculiarly free from willfulness of temper, self-conceit, and every tendency to that independence of spirit which prevails so much in modern days, even in young women, and which in young women is offensive and disgusting beyond all common offense. But you have now shown me that you can be willful and perverse; that you can and will decide for yourself, without any consideration or deference for those who have surely some right to guide you, without even asking their advice. You have shewn yourself very, very different from anything that I had imagined."
—Sir Thomas, Mansfield Park
Pimp: My back's all froze up! I can't feel nothin'! Aaaa Argh..! ... would you please help me, bitch?
Posey: ...ok, where does it hurt?
Andy: Posey, no! What are you doing!?
Pimp: Lower... oh yes! Oooh, much better! So that's legitimate massage huh? Who knew!
Posey: <Kicks him off the roof's edge>
Pimp: Aaaaah! <Crash> Ow...
Andy: What the hell was that about?
Posey: I didn't want him to fall off the roof and not feel it.
"Always, I try to be reasonable, to be fair. I try to talk to people. And no one ever takes it as anything other than weakness. You listen to me try to be civilized and you think, 'Oh, he's nothing. Him, we can 'ignore. Him, we can push around. We can do whatever we want — he won't stop us!' Because nobody ever takes me seriously — unless I shout and threaten like a cut-rate stage villain."
"Well, you know what? I can do crazy. I really can. And it looks like I'm going to have to. Agatha is in danger. This whole town is in danger. If I'm going to be able to help her at all, it looks like I'm going to have to give up all this "being reasonable" garbage — and show you idiots what kind of a madboy you're really dealing with!"
— Gilgamesh Wulfenbach while beating up a supersoldier despite serious injuries, Girl Genius
Gil: You knew me at school and perhaps don't take me very seriously. That would be a mistake. You must understand this. When I come to her, she will be safe, unharmed, and free. Because I will come to her, and if she is not... I will destroy "Her Undying Majesty", I will melt what is left of your miserable island to slag and boil the seas around you for the next thousand years!
Wooster: You... you couldn't!
Gil: Couldn't? Couldn't?! I am Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, little man! And there is nothing I couldn't do, had I cause. And now... now I have one.
The Hellish Handbook is a very short thing, as very few demons have the patience or the actual caring to write down rules for others to follow. As such, it has two orders, scrawled on a piece of paper that is tacked outside Lucifer's office:
1. Don't defy me. I'm not sure what punishment could be worse than what you're already going through Down Here, but I'm more than willing to find out.
2. LEAVE THE NICE ONES ALONE. Seriously. It's for your own good. (See? And you guys think I don't care. Okay, I don't, but I don't want you dying all over the place. It gets old.)
There are two very good reasons for the second rule. The first is that really nice people tend to have a "But I will destroy you should you push me too far" clause attached that makes messing with them a bad idea. Aziraphale is an example of this. However, Raphael is not — he has become such a really nice person that he has gone beyond the clause.
The second reason is that really nice people tend to have really good friends.
"You seem more docile than I imagined. Or is that the kind of kid you have to look out for nowadays?"
— Namie Yagiri, Durarara!!
"Because if someone gets angry all the time, it's really no big deal. But when someone usually doesn't get angry, it's scary."
— Takashi Kamiyama, Cromartie High School
"Your kind always underestimates ours. You mistake good manners for timidity. You mistake self-control for passivity. So self controlled are we that we that sometimes we won't retaliate if you harm us. But if you — any of you — harm our loved ones, we will come at you like fanged, slavering beasts from the darkest of LSD nightmares. Believe it."
— Rik Oberf to Keith Feddyg, Fans!
Black: What the hell, man! I thought you were supposed to be the nice one!
Sam: What can I say? Every single person I know is a bad influence.
Demons run when a good man goes to war.
Night will fall and drown the sun, when a good man goes to war.
Friendship dies and true love lies,
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
"The important thing about this ideal is the double demand it makes on human nature. The knight is a man of blood and iron, a man familiar with the sight of smashed faces and the ragged stumps of lopped off limbs; he is also a demure, almost maiden-like, guest in hall, a gentle, modest, unobtrusive man. He is not a compromise or happy mean between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the Nth and meek to the Nth..."
— The Necessity of Chivalry by C. S. Lewis
"You're going to LOVE ME!!!"
— Fluttershy, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
"I appreciate that you're my employer and an old man besides... but if you don't take your goddamn hands off me, I will break you in HALF."
— Dell Conagher (The Engineer), Team Fortress 2
"Fighting is not really my thing, I'm more into fashion... BUT I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES IF YOU TOUCH ONE SCALE ON HIS CUTE LITTLE HEAD!"
— Rarity, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
"His wrath is slow to waken, but terrible to behold."
— ''The Magic Mirror on Buffkin, Fables
"Now calm down, Ned-dily-diddly-diddly-diddly... they did their best, shoddily-iddly-iddly-diddly... gotta be nice, hostily-iddly-biddly-diddly... AH HELL diddly-ding-dong-CRAP! Can't you morons do anything right?!"
— Ned Flanders, The Simpsons
It looks like Gandhi has renounced his philosophy of nonviolence in favor of a philosophy of whoop-ass.
—Stone Cold Steve Austin, Celebrity Deathmatch
Who could be a better hunter then one who had been prey? Someone who would be driven to fight back against the dark forces sent by the world, who would never stop, even though they were bigger and more and perhaps even stronger than he was. Because once having been prey, he would never allow himself to become such again. Would never surrender. Would take death before submission.
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up at your lifeless eyes and wave... like this."
<waggles fingers, smiling>
"Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?"
—Babylon 5: Vir Cotto answering the question "What do you want?" And he gets it.
"I will admit that you surprised me. Who would have imagined that such fierce determination existed within that deceptively frail body?"
— Tiernan to Kes in "Warlord", Star Trek: Voyager
"Watashi, kanninbukuro no o ga kiremashita!"note
—Cure Blossom, HeartCatch Pretty Cure!
"When the nice ones snap, it's always a good show."
—Moe, on watching Lenny choking Carl on a restaurant table in Iceland, The Simpsons, "The Saga of Carl"