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Quotes: Beam Me Up, Scotty!
"Why do these films always forget to put their most famous lines in?"

"About five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my material all over them...I didn't write any of it. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, I'm embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad."

Kyon: "Nyoro~n" is a portmanteau of "nyoro" (Tsuruya's idiosyncratic speech quirk, her "desu" what have you) and the Japanese onomatopeia for dejection. The tilde isn't "pronounced" anything, it's a damn sound lengthener, as in "nyorooooon", so all you idiots going "nyoroOoOon" can shut the fuck up! Furthermore (and this is important), Tsuruya never, ever, says "Nyoro~n." She says nyoro, do you fucking understand? "Nyoro~n" is a creation of Eretto, the author of the Churuya comics. She doesn't fucking say it. Do you understand? She doesn't fucking say it. She doesn't fucking say it. She doesn't fucking say it. She doesn't fucking say it. She doesn't fucking say it. There."
Churuya: Nyoro~n...
—Danbooru post #99340 (shopped churuya 4koma)

Commander Frack: "Baroness, Baroness! I can't find my nail file! Call a meeting, call a meeting!"
Destro: I've never said that, you idiot!

"Beam me up, Scotty!"
—Nobody in any canon installment of the Star Trek franchise. Ever.

"A friend of mine once told me nobody on Star Trek ever said "Beam me up, Scotty." I nodded at his knowledge of this, picked up his pet turtle, and hurled that sonuvabitch down the street. "

"'Lead On, MacDuff,' is a common and perfectly acceptable phrase. It appears in important works of fact and fiction from a dozen different worlds. Even if it was originally a misquotation, it's earned its own place in any idiomatic pantheon"
Jack Frost, Jack of Fables

'"Right," said Richard. And he smiled unconvincingly and added, "Well, lead on, MacDuff." ...
...
The abbot sipped his tea, in silence. And then he said, with honest regret in his voice, "It's 'lay on, MacDuff,' actually. But I hadn't the heart to correct him."'
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

"Well that's another fine mess you've gotten us into!"
People who quote Oliver Hardy.

"Luke, I am your father."
Everyone who has ever imitated Darth Vader

Samael: You know what? No one's ever going to believe you said that.
Rat: First off, it's "Frankly, my dear" not "Frankly, Scarlett"

Everyone knows the scene where Lassie barks at her family, and the family responds: "What is it girl? Timmy's fallen down the well again?" Well, first of all, Timmy never actually fell down a well. Just down mine shafts, off cliffs and into rivers, lakes and quicksand. Don't you feel dumb now.
Rick:You played it for her, now play it for me.
Sam: Boss, I played it once already.
Rick: Then play it again, Sam.
Sam: Now, Boss, you know you never actually said that line. And besides, this tape ain't rewound.
Rick Blaine: Play it!
Kevin Murphy: Again! Sam! Though technically the again might not apply since you haven't played it to me tonight and really no reason to address you as Sam since you are the only one here so let's just still to play it!
Riffrax: Casablanca


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