874 Years Old
2 Feet Tall
There's no need to coddle me, boy. I may be old, but I'm not helpless.
— Cairne Bloodhoof to Warchief Thrall, Warcraft III
You punks gota realize, these 70 year old guys, most of them have been in a war, and you haven't.
Green Lantern:: Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for your age!
Static: The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty!
— Justice League Unlimited: "The Once And Future Thing, Part 2"
IT WAS REAGAN, I TELL YOU! RONALD REAGAN BROKE MY LEGS!
— A Would-Be Robber, after being put in an ambulance by Patriotism, Shortpacked!
I'm thirty years older than you are. I had my back broke once, and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you.
— Wil Andersen, The Cowboys
What I learned today is that really old wizards don't get that way by being easy to kill.
— Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater
Old swordsmen get to be that way by being very good.
— "Aged Swordsman," folk song
Duke: What you lookin' at old man?
Walt: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.
Jack: I didn't have a chance at winning...
Gerald: Of course not, fool. I was a swordsman years before you were born.
I may have lost a step along the way, but I'm still two steps ahead of everybody else!
I was too old for this shit fifteen years ago.
— William "Bill" Overbeck, Left 4 Dead
Come on! When I was your age, we crossed burning sand every day and liked it! Let's go!
— Galuf, Final Fantasy V
Don't ever underestimate the will of a grandfather. We're madmen. We don't give a damn. We got here long before you and they'll be here after. We'll make enemies. We'll break laws. We'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren.
— President Bartlet, The West Wing
Now let me show you how we brought the pain in my day!
— Jetfire, Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Do not think that just because I am old, that I can't whoop your ass, young grasshopper.
I'd like to join the search, but they told me to stay here because I'm old. Seems nobody's aware of just how strong I really am.
— Wess, Mother 3
Rule One: Never act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!
Rule 19: Always remember Rule One and ask yourself, why was it created in the first place?
— Lu-Tze, Thief of Time
Dunstan: Tristan, he's 97 years old.
Tristan: Well that's given him plenty of time to practice, hasn't it?
Malevolent Masked Man: I am surprised. It was quite easy to break into this room. Despite it being the office - or better, the personal room - of the captain-commander of the Gotei 13. Isn't security a bit too soft?
Yamamoto: There is no need to worry. I am here. There is no better security than this.
You're threatening me? That's a laugh... I'm 79 years old. I've got one kidney, one ball and one lung. I take Viagra just to keep from peeing on my shoes, and you're threatening me? Who are you frightening?
— Uncle Lonnie, Action
Harry: So if I go back in time and kill my grandfather, what happens?
Vadderung: He beats you senseless, I suspect.
Sergeant Eilye Jeyne: If you seriously think this'll be a fight, then maybe you should start thinking about retiring, old man.
Warmaster Forgal Kernsson: Watch it, soldier, or I'll "old man" you into the ground.
"Apparently, the rich had had it. They weren't going to take the likes of us anymore. They also were in no mood to respect their former president, Eisenhower, who was nearly booed down until the crowd finally got a look at his scarlet face and raging eyes. One furious look from the ancient lion shut them all up. He said something and then turned his back on a people he'd never much cared for."
—Gore Vidal on the 1964 Republican National Convention, Point to Point Navigation
"For the Japanese version of Phantasy Star Portable 2, Yum and Sega made both KFC and Pizza Hut (which Yum also owns) an integral part of a fantastical world, billions of light-years away from our own...When it came to hawking KFC, though, Yum would not be satisfied with some measly magical boxes and a couple of life-giving chain stores. The Colonel deserves better. The Colonel will not be denied. The Colonel will accept nothing less than total dominance. The Colonel will be an ass-kicking playable character with a supernatural cane, or he will be nothing."