Quotes: Bad Liar

Don't lie, dear. But if you must, do it with conviction.
Ruth, Doc Martin ("Dry Your Tears")

Yossarian pushed his hand away. "Give up, Milo. People can't eat cotton."
Milo's face narrowed cunningly. "It isn't really cotton," he coaxed. "I was joking. It's really cotton candy, delicious cotton candy. Try it and see."
"Now you're lying."
"I never lie!" Milo rejoindered with proud dignity.
"You're lying now."
"I only lie when it's necessary."
Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Damien: ...You're horrible at lying.
Elliot: It's what I get for being the good guy.

Algernon (stammering): Bunbury doesn't live here. Bunbury is somewhere else at present. In fact, Bunbury is dead.
Lady Bracknell: Dead! When did Mr. Bunbury die? His death must have been extremely sudden.
Algernon (airily): Oh! I killed Bunbury this afternoon. I mean poor Bunbury died this afternoon.
Lady Bracknell: What did he die of?
Algernon: Bunbury? Oh, he was quite exploded.
Lady Bracknell: Exploded! Was he the victim of a revolutionary outrage? I was not aware that Mr. Bunbury was interested in social legislation. If so, he is well punished for his morbidity.
Algernon: My dear Aunt Augusta, I mean he was found out! The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live, that is what I mean—so Bunbury died.
Lady Bracknell: He seems to have had great confidence in the opinion of his physicians.

Yeah! That's the ticket!
Tommy Flanagan, The Pathological Liar, Saturday Night Live'

It's called a salt-lick.
Yeah but don't lick it, it's gross.
Did you lick it?
...I don't know.

By the middle of 1996, Hogan had few options. His WCW contract would be due after two more PPVs, and he had no leverage left. He had tried one of his usual tricks months earlier, and it had backfired. The NBA playoffs were coming up, so he left to film a movie. Of course, the playoffs wreaked havoc on Nitro's ratings, and his plan was to come back and say the reason they were down was because he was gone. There was a flaw in his plan, however. He was gone too long, and when the playoffs ended, Nitro returned and started doing better numbers than when he'd been main-eventing every week.
R. D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez, The Death of WCW

Anna Allen has a few TV and theater credits in Spain, but she’s finally getting the worldwide fame (not really) she deserves after the Spanish media and people on social media exposed the shameless Photoshop stunts she pulled on her 22,000 Instagram followers. Anna bragged about being invited to the Oscars, going to the Oscars and shooting an episode of The Big Bang Theory. But after graphic artist experts (aka anybody with eyes) examined the pictures, it was discovered that Anna copy + pasted her face over the face of others and Photoshopped her entire body in front of the Oscars backdrop. Bitch is where crazy and shameless meet.