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Sorting Hat: I can see you learned quite well all the cunning you could ever need during your last stay in Slytherin.
Tom Riddle: What are you doing, Hat?
Sorting Hat: You already show commendable loyalty and you certainly strive toward academic achievements without needing any urging. And while you have plenty of courage... you might benefit from learning that being straightfoward in some dealings isn't all bad.
Tom Riddle: No!
Sorting Hat: Gryffindor!

"Evil? Your evil is my good. I am Sutekh the Destroyer. Where I tread I leave nothing but dust and darkness. I find that good."
Sutekh the Destroyer, Doctor Who, "Pyramids of Mars"

Lex Luthor: Bizarro. Superman is your best friend! Do you understand?
Bizarro: Bizarro understand. Superman am friend! Bizarro must KILL him!

Lex Luthor: Bizarro, you despise me, right?
Bizarro: Uh-huh. Bizarro hate Luthor. Me do anything for him.
Lex Luthor: Good — I mean, bad! Anyway, take care of those monks.
Bizarro: Okay.

Fair is foul and foul is fair
Hover through the fog and filthy air
The Three Witches, Macbeth

"They want to me to give up the only life I've ever had / But it's so, so good to be bad!"
Robbie Rotten, LazyTown, "Good to be Bad" song

"Ewww, it's just so fluffy... it's repulsive... My eyes! My eyes!"
Gnarl on seeing a baby seal, Overlord II

So farewell, hope; and with hope farewell, fear;
Farewell, remorse! all good to me is lost;
Evil, be thou my good!
Satan, Paradise Lost

When your name is Evil
Bad is good, or so you'd think
But you're so very wrong—
it's Evil
But being wrong is right
So then you're good again
Which is the evilest thing of all...
— "Dr. Evil" by They Might Be Giants, from the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me soundtrack

Evil: Suddenly, I feel very, very good.
Robert: Oh, I'm sorry, Master.
Evil: No, it'll pass, it'll pass.

Good can't help but do a little evil,
Evil can't help but do a little good...
Tom Waits & Kool Keith, Spacious Thoughts

Harper Finkel: Alex, do you know what's going on? They put this good citizenship award on your locker!
Alex Russo: A good citizenship award? That's low!
[...]
Alex Russo: Really? You think I'm an evil genius? That's so sweet.

I'm bad, and that's good.
I'll never be good, and that's not bad.
There's no one I'd rather be... than me.
— The Bad-Anon Bad Guy Affirmation, Wreck-It Ralph

Chief Meanie: Are the troops in readiness?
Max: Yes, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie: [enraged] WHAAAAAAAT?! We Meanies only take no for an answer! Is that understood, Max?!
Max: No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie: Thaaaat's better....

The Captain: Do you really consider yourselves Evil?
Ilwrath: Ha! Evil! Of Course We're Evil!
Ilwrath: Dogar And Kazon Would Never Reward A Less-Than-Hideously Evil Species With Their Baleful Grace.
Ilwrath: Why We Are The Very Definition Of Evil!
Ilwrath: Everything About Us, Within And Without, Reeks Of Heinous Deeds, Deceit And Treachery!
Ilwrath: Even Our House Pets Are Rather Evil.
The Captain: But 'evil' is that which is morally bad or wrong. And if your actions are judged by your society as correct, aren't you, in fact, good?
Ilwrath: Hmmm... We ARE All Evil.
Ilwrath: We All Behave In A Mutually Agreed-Upon Fashion Of Murder, Torture, Deceit And So Forth.
Ilwrath: Our Uniform Acceptance Of This Heinous Credo Creates An Orderly And Cooperative Society
Ilwrath: Which Hardly Seems Evil.
Ilwrath: Evil Is Doing Things That Make Others Hurt Or Fear.
Ilwrath: We ALL Do That, Of Course.
Ilwrath: But Since We ALL Do Such Things, As Sanctioned By Our Culture,
Ilwrath: It Would Be 'Bad' To Do Otherwise.
Ilwrath: Which Means...
Ilwrath: Er...
Ilwrath: Puny Hu-Man, Do Not Play With Words! You Anger Both Dogar And Kazon! Now You Must Die!

He had a horrible fairness of the intellect that made me despair of his soul. A common, harmless atheist would have denied that religion produced humility or humility a simple joy: but he admitted both. He only said, "But shall I not find in evil a life of its own? Granted that for every woman I ruin one of those red sparks will go out: will not the expanding pleasure of ruin..."
"Do you see that fire?" I asked. "If we had a real fighting democracy, some one would burn you in it; like the devil-worshipper that you are."
"Perhaps," he said, in his tired, fair way. "Only what you call evil I call good."
G. K. Chesterton, "The Diabolist", in Tremendous Trifles

Minion: Sir, I think this is a bad idea...
Megamind: Yes, it is a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of bad!
Minion: But I'm saying it's the kind of bad that... Okay, you might think is good from your bad perception, but from a good perception... It's just plain bad.
Megamind: Oh, you don't know what's good for bad!

Baba Yaga: We're here to get you back on the right path... hehe, the wrong path. I'll let your friends explain.
Apple: Raven, I adore you! But, like, the other day you spilled that everlasting black ink all over my new ball gown.
Raven: That was an accident. I felt really bad and I said I was sorry like a hundred times!
Apple: You're not supposed to apologize! You're evil!

[At a funeral for a Double Agent, spoken to the agent's widow]
Chief of CONTROL: Your husband served the cause of CONTROL well. He always conducted himself with honor.
Chief of KAOS: Your husband served the cause of KAOS well. He always conducted himself with dishonor.
Get Smart, "Die, Spy"

"Proving to the buyer that you have it is one of the distasteful but necessary parts of this business."

Luna: Even our people weren't after the human world. We were perfectly content in our kingdom.
Falla: Ha! Our little hole in the monster world? Do you really think that's what we deserved? Just to stay in our little pocket of the world like caged butterflies?
Luna: We had everything we wanted, Falla. We didn't need the rest of the world.
Falla: That's why you wouldn't have made a good queen, dear sister. You lack ambition. You lack foresight. Our people would have ruled the world without question with our magic.
Luna: You wouldn't have been queen with that mindset, Falla. You would have led our people into a war that would cost countless lives. You would have been the end of us all, not that you weren't already.
Falla: Such little faith, sister. I would have led our people to greatness. If only they saw the truth rather than believing that you would have been suitable for the throne they would still be alive.

Ligur: So, Crowley.
Hastur: [makes a face] What's Mr. Slick done now?
Ligur: I'm not sure. But I know it's nothing good.
Hastur: Oh. Well, that's alright, then. He's not meant to do good.
[beat]
Ligur: Figure of speech. Nothing bad, then.
Hastur: Nothing bad? So he's not in trouble?
Ligur: He's definitely in trouble. Or he will be.

"We've been going about this all wrong, and not in the confusing Bad Place way where that's actually good."
Shawn, The Good Place

"Remember, no one is born a sinner. You have to work hard to achieve success."
UAC Spokeswoman, Doom Eternal

"She'd done something, something bad, because it was good."
Nita on disobeying her abusive mother by setting her latest victim free, Not Even Bones

"Look, I hate purity. Hate goodness. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone corrupt."
Winston Smith, Nineteen Eighty-Four

"Look! Ugly one-horned mule!"
Blunder, a goblin, describing a unicorn, Legend (1985)

"Mortal world turned to ice... Here be goblin paradise!"
Blix, Legend (1985)

"The weather's gone bad again."
Francesco Dellamorte on a sunny day, Cemetery Man

"You, too, can feel the joy and happiness of hating."
Princess Asa Vadja, Black Sunday

Pan: I think you two should rule Lionheart-land. Even pre-redemption, you, Kylo, weren't half the incel the best male character in this fic is. And you, Ganondorf, would look like a benevolent ruler compared to the three factions here.
Ganondorf: Is he flattering or insulting us?

Kammy Koopa: There you are! I've been looking all over for you!
Kamek: M.. M.. Mother??? What are you doing back here so soon?
Kammy: I just got back from my vacation. But as of you, I'm very disappointed in you. The moment I got back here, I checked your bedroom, and what did I find? Everything was neat and tidy! I thought I told you to mess up your room before I got back? How am I supposed to teach you bad manners when you're constantly behaving yourself?!
Kamek: Wait, I can explain! I've been very busy serving his Royal Evilness, and I didn't.....
Kammy: Enough of your excuses, young Magikoopa! Go to your room this instant and mess it up!
Kamek: Meh.... I never get to have any fun.....
Super Mario Bros. Z, Episode 7

"I don't like to feel good, I like to feel evil!"

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