If you can look at this picture and tell me that this isn't one of the sweetest photos of a dude with a 'stache that you've ever seen, then you obviously need to learn a little something about facial hair and being awesome.
This mustache proves I'm great!
"Rugged. Self-assured. Adult. These are the words that describe the man who wears a mustache."
Just leave right now and you won't have to face the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
“I won’t publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are U.S. Army-issued mustache trimmers, Morton’s Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two-inch-style oscillating knife blade.”
My moustache was cut by laser! Looks so sharp, avert your gazes! Think your beard is so flash? You cannot handle this 'tache!