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Quotes: Bad Ass Grandpa
"I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!"
Hub McCann (to the teen he's currently choking), Secondhand Lions

"Humies is all weak scum that deserve ta get stomped. 'Cept for One-Eye Yarrick. He knows how ter fight."

874 Years Old
2 Feet Tall
Profession: Great Warrior

There's no need to coddle me, boy. I may be old, but I'm not helpless.
Cairne Bloodhoof to Warchief Thrall, Warcraft III

Green Lantern:: Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for your age!
Static: The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty!
Justice League Unlimited: "The Once And Future Thing, Part 2"

IT WAS REAGAN, I TELL YOU! RONALD REAGAN BROKE MY LEGS!
— A Would-Be Robber, after being put in an ambulance by Patriotism, Shortpacked!

I'm thirty years older than you are. I had my back broke once, and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you.
Wil Andersen, The Cowboys

What I learned today is that really old wizards don't get that way by being easy to kill.
Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater

Old swordsmen get to be that way by being very good.
— "Aged Swordsman," folk song

Duke: What you lookin' at old man?
Walt: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.

Jack: I didn't have a chance at winning...
Gerald: Of course not, fool. I was a swordsman years before you were born.

I may have lost a step along the way, but I'm still two steps ahead of everybody else!

I was too old for this shit fifteen years ago.
William "Bill" Overbeck, Left 4 Dead

Come on! When I was your age, we crossed burning sand every day and liked it! Let's go!
Galuf, Final Fantasy V

Don't ever underestimate the will of a grandfather. We're madmen. We don't give a damn. We got here long before you and they'll be here after. We'll make enemies. We'll break laws. We'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren.
President Bartlet, The West Wing

Now let me show you how we brought the pain in my day!

Do not think that just because I am old, that I can't whoop your ass, young grasshopper.
Frogfucius, Bowser's Kingdom episode 9, after hitting one of the Karate Duo Number One with a cane

I'd like to join the search, but they told me to stay here because I'm old. Seems nobody's aware of just how strong I really am.
Wess, Mother 3

Rule One: Never act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!
Rule 19: Always remember Rule One and ask yourself, why was it created in the first place?
Lu-Tze, Thief of Time

Dunstan: Tristan, he's 97 years old.
Tristan: Well that's given him plenty of time to practice, hasn't it?

Malevolent Masked Man: I am surprised. It was quite easy to break into this room. Despite it being the office - or better, the personal room - of the captain-commander of the Gotei 13. Isn't security a bit too soft?
Yamamoto: There is no need to worry. I am here. There is no better security than this.
Bleach (he's so badass he's the trope image)

You're threatening me? That's a laugh... I'm 79 years old. I've got one kidney, one ball and one lung. I take Viagra just to keep from peeing on my shoes, and you're threatening me? Who are you frightening?
Uncle Lonnie, Action

Harry: So if I go back in time and kill my grandfather, what happens?
Vadderung: He beats you senseless, I suspect.

Sergeant Eilye Jeyne: If you seriously think this'll be a fight, then maybe you should start thinking about retiring, old man.
Warmaster Forgal Kernsson: Watch it, soldier, or I'll "old man" you into the ground.

"Apparently, the rich had had it. They weren't going to take the likes of us anymore. They also were in no mood to respect their former president, Eisenhower, who was nearly booed down until the crowd finally got a look at his scarlet face and raging eyes. One furious look from the ancient lion shut them all up. He said something and then turned his back on a people he'd never much cared for."
Gore Vidal on the 1964 Republican National Convention, Point to Point Navigation

Matt: McKellen’s well into his 60s in this, and like we said before, he’s no muscleman, but he looks like he could just own anybody.
Chris: He is kind of the absolute best guy at being old as hell and still looking like he could destroy whatever he wanted without much effort. He does it as Gandalf, too. If I saw Ian McKellen and Clint Eastwood walking down the street, I would cross to the other side double-quick.
Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on X-2: X-Men United

"Like all good folklore, now a local celebrity, stories of [James] Hydrick’s power grew in each retelling. Upgrading from the table-top magic of That’s Incredible!, his followers now spoke of his ability to turn the phone book pages from ten feet away, of blocking punches and finding hidden objects while blindfolded, and of sneaking up on deer to choke them out, like a redneck ninja. At this time, he also found the scientific seal of approval, having his powers authenticated by a science professor at the university of Utah. But not everyone was sold...this performance contained one important element the first performance hadn’t — James Randi. Possibly best described as Richard Dawkins playing Santa Claus at the office party, Randi’s made a career out of the casually methodical destruction of what he calls 'Flim-Flam.' Psychics, dowsers, faith healers; all have seen their claims crushed beneath Randi’s tiny feet, as he brushes off their tricks and excuses like one would a cider-filled bluebottle from a shoulder at a summer picnic. At this point, Randi — billed as The Amazing Randi, the stage-name from his days as a professional magician — is 35 years into his life-long crusade, almost twice as long as Hydrick’s been alive."
Stuart Millard, "Fifteen-minute Messiah"

"For the Japanese version of Phantasy Star Portable 2, Yum and Sega made both KFC and Pizza Hut (which Yum also owns) an integral part of a fantastical world, billions of light-years away from our own...When it came to hawking KFC, though, Yum would not be satisfied with some measly magical boxes and a couple of life-giving chain stores. The Colonel deserves better. The Colonel will not be denied. The Colonel will accept nothing less than total dominance. The Colonel will be an ass-kicking playable character with a supernatural cane, or he will be nothing."

Odo: How did you get in here?
Koloth: I am Koloth.
Odo: That doesn't answer my question.
Koloth: Yes, it does.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Blood Oath"

"Did you just call me old? I prefer the term 'experienced!'"
Vitrivius, The LEGO Movie

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