: Lisa honey, are you saying you're never
going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa
: No. Homer
: Ham? Lisa
: No. Homer
: Pork chops? Lisa
: Dad! Those all come from the same
Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
: You know what sucks? Wallace
: What? Scott
: Everything. Wallace
: Psh. Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon
. Smell it? Do you smell that? Smell it! Scott
: I smell it! Wallace
: Everything does not suck.
"The pig is an amazing creature. Feed it an apple, essentially garbage, and it produces bacon!"
"There are two types of people in the world: People who love bacon, and people who cannot eat it for religious reasons."
Lars: Glorious, fresh air!
Krosp: Oh, Better than fresh air.
Krosp: Someone's frying bacon!
"Bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips."
"More bacon. More bacon. Candied bacon."
"And just cause we're fucked up, we garnished the whole thing with baconators."
"Dammit, who ordered the bacon-crusted rolls? It's like there's someone over there that's making a crack-filled sandwich!"
Bacon is counterculture awesomeness. We all know we need to avoid trans fats. We should wear sunscreen and make sure we're getting enough folate. We need prostate exams and pap smears as genetics dictates. We should drink water and maybe replace that side of fries with a nice garden salad sometimes. We should exercise and stop jerking off in the back seats of cabs. Bacon is the freedom that society very politely asks us to deny ourselves.
If anyone is experiencing power outages, gravitational fluctuations, or paradoxes in the time-space continuum, it may have something to do with the unholy monstrosity that Iím currently concocting in my kitchen. For this, I apologize, but this is bigger than you or I. This is a bold new frontier. This is the voice of the cosmos in all itís infinite wisdom and glory. This is bacon.