Quotes / Bacon Addiction

Homer: Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: (sarcastically) Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
The Simpsons, "Lisa the Vegetarian"

Scott: You know what sucks?
Wallace: What?
Scott: Everything.
Wallace: Psh. Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon. Smell it? Do you smell that? Smell it!
Scott: I smell it!
Wallace: Everything does not suck.

"The pig is an amazing creature. Feed it an apple, essentially garbage, and it produces bacon!"

"There are two types of people in the world: People who love bacon, and people who cannot eat it for religious reasons."

Lars: Glorious, fresh air!
Krosp: Oh, Better than fresh air.
Lars: How?
Krosp: Someone's frying bacon!
Both: Mmmm.

It's Bacon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips. And bacon strips."
"More bacon. More bacon. Candied bacon."
"And just cause we're fucked up, we garnished the whole thing with baconators."
Harley Morenstein, host of Epic Meal Time


"Dammit, who ordered the bacon-crusted rolls? It's like there's someone over there that's making a crack-filled sandwich!"

Bacon is counterculture awesomeness. We all know we need to avoid trans fats. We should wear sunscreen and make sure we're getting enough folate. We need prostate exams and pap smears as genetics dictates. We should drink water and maybe replace that side of fries with a nice garden salad sometimes. We should exercise and stop jerking off in the back seats of cabs. Bacon is the freedom that society very politely asks us to deny ourselves.
— This Cracked article

If anyone is experiencing power outages, gravitational fluctuations, or paradoxes in the time-space continuum, it may have something to do with the unholy monstrosity that Iím currently concocting in my kitchen. For this, I apologize, but this is bigger than you or I. This is a bold new frontier. This is the voice of the cosmos in all itís infinite wisdom and glory. This is bacon.
— Blogger brownkidd

"Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was, 'Give me all the bacon and eggs you have'. Do you understand?"
Ron Swanson to a waiter, Parks and Recreation

Narcissus is gorgeous. Like, if someone could look exactly like bacon tastes and you have a pretty good picture of Narcissus (unless you're a vegetarian).
Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, by Cory O'Brien and Sarah Melville