"I know I look like I can, Gohan, but these bulky muscles make it hard to move fast, and if I'm going to beat Cell, I can't have anything slowing me down. I may have great power, but what good is it if I can't catch my enemy? It takes more than brute strength to win a fight."
—Goku on Super Saiyan Third Grade, Dragon Ball Z
If your top-end robotic assault device can be defeated with a baseball bat every time... well, that kinda says it all, doesn't it?
—Gordon Freeman on Manhacks, Freeman's Mind 2
Weiss: [holding Professor Port's axe-blunderbuss] Why does this weapon
◊ have two axe-blades? You can't even aim!
Professor Port: [off-screen] Ho-ho! Personal preference!
◊ have two axe-blades? You can't even aim! Professor Port: [off-screen] Ho-ho! Personal preference!
It's not only impressive, it's irresponsible.
— Panther of The Protomen
Rory Swann: Those goofy mercs are still using Vultures. Can ya believe it? Damn things are death traps even when you ain't got people shooting at ya.
Jim Raynor: Careful now, Swann. My old Vulture saved my skin more times than I care to remember. I ain't gonna listen to you trash talk a classic piece of engineering like that.
Rory Swann: Classic? I suppose you could call 'em that. 'Course, most folks like a bike that don't explode on them when the repeller seals freeze up, or the fuel cells start leaking radioactive waste — but hey, who cares if it's a 'classic', right?
Jim Raynor: No one likes a smartass, Swann.
Jim Raynor: Careful now, Swann. My old Vulture saved my skin more times than I care to remember. I ain't gonna listen to you trash talk a classic piece of engineering like that.
Rory Swann: Classic? I suppose you could call 'em that. 'Course, most folks like a bike that don't explode on them when the repeller seals freeze up, or the fuel cells start leaking radioactive waste — but hey, who cares if it's a 'classic', right?
Jim Raynor: No one likes a smartass, Swann.
That's smoke, yes yes, see? It's a proper supercar! It didn't just come to the track and do a lap like a robot and be boring, it came to the track and exploded, immediately! That's what, it's what supercars do! It's proper!
Again Alfred, it's a STEALTH FIGHTER JET shaped like a BAT and I use it to fight common STREET CRIME. WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE?!
Give me a gun that never fires! Give me a sword that is ever blunt! Give me a weapon that deals no wound, so long as it always strikes fear!
— Warhammer 40,000, expounding on a way to take the "Impractical" out of this trope
That's not what The Empire would have done, Commander. What the Empire would have done was build a super-colossal Yuuzhan Vong-killing battle machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandiose. They would have spent billions of credits, employed thousands of contractors and subcontractors, and equipped it with the latest in death-dealing technology. And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done.
Taiga: Who just took the lead in with such incredible speed!? It's Lancer's GaeBolCar!
Lancer: Sorry, I'm settling it here! My GaeBolCar is awesome! The speed is just incredible!
Rin: Hey, Archer. Did you know? Dragsters... can't turn.
(GaeBolCar crashes and explodes)
Archer: Lancer died!
Taiga: You aren't human!
Lancer: Sorry, I'm settling it here! My GaeBolCar is awesome! The speed is just incredible!
Rin: Hey, Archer. Did you know? Dragsters... can't turn.
(GaeBolCar crashes and explodes)
Archer: Lancer died!
Taiga: You aren't human!
In order to gain extra speed, the chassis of this prototype has been thinned out to such an extreme that the pilot can barely breathe inside the cockpit. It is so thin, in fact that there isn't enough room for the standard steering rack, or acceleration module, requiring the pilot to rely solely on their airbrakes to steer and auto-accelerate. Any test pilot would be crazy to get anywhere near this thing.
—WipEout 2048, Flavor Text of the Pir-hana Prototype
Harris stood over the unconscious mechanic and searched him for weapons. Fergus carried nothing but the tools in his belt.
Jean-Pierre joined him. "I have never seen a jumping kick like that."
"Flying side kick. Best used against immobile targets and blind men. But when it connects, it tends to smart."
Jean-Pierre joined him. "I have never seen a jumping kick like that."
"Flying side kick. Best used against immobile targets and blind men. But when it connects, it tends to smart."
You fight it, and the robot deploys arms with four buzzsaw blades. Because why would you bother with boring old laser guns or missiles when you can put fucking buzzsaws on the end?! No, electro-buzzsaws! Hey, you want Effective or you want Awesome, you can't have both, people.
— Spoony reviews Final Fantasy XIII
What, you've never seen a Canadian Destroyer? It's amazing, and the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's pro wrestling.
It's amazing, and the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's pro wrestling.— Black Hole of Board Games, Power Slam VCR Wrestling
Nuclear-powered bombers struggled to take off under the weight of their radioactive shielding. Airborne aircraft carriers hovered on the verge of catastrophe. Drilling moles caused subsidence and flooding while a mobile fortress wallowed in the ruins of a collapsed bridge. Soldiers with multiple compound fractures were evacuated from their flying tanks while tracked minisubs labored to escape from debris-choked lake bottoms. A submarine-plane erupted from the surface of the ocean, rockets blazing in a futile effort to lift its heavy pressure hull into the air.
That feels like the dumbest, most impractical weapon ever, I hope I get it.
Richard Castle: What would you do if you won that kind of money?
Detective Esposito: Easy. Buy a Ferrari.
Richard Castle: You know, I have one. Not as cool as you'd think.
Detective Esposito: Yeah, but they're hella fast.
Richard Castle: As fast as any other car in rush hour traffic.
Detective Esposito: Easy. Buy a Ferrari.
Richard Castle: You know, I have one. Not as cool as you'd think.
Detective Esposito: Yeah, but they're hella fast.
Richard Castle: As fast as any other car in rush hour traffic.
— Castle, "Lucky Stiff"
Spinister: A frikken symbol ship.
Crankcase: Technically a D-Class Worldsweeper. A P-6 model. Famous for... damn, what was it?
Flywheels: Crashing?
What's the point of having a fast car anyway? Is there some legal speed that they're trying to reach that they can't seem to do with normal cars? Even if your car can go more than 200 mph, you have to break the law (more often than not) to do so. Way to go dipshit, you spent your life savings on something you can't use. Worthless.
Harry Potter: What the hell am I supposed to do with a wand that I can only fire 3 to 4 times before I pass out from exhaustion? ASSUMING I haven't already used magic that day.
Emma Granger: Don't miss.
Emma Granger: Don't miss.
Pharaoh: What does [Kaiba's cheat code] do?
Kaiba: It gives me unlimited cards!
Pharaoh: Okay, but how does that help?
Kaiba: What?
Pharaoh: Won't that just make it harder for you to draw the card you want?
Kaiba: No! It-It... I have unlimited cards now! You only have forty! That is much less than what I have!
Kaiba: It gives me unlimited cards!
Pharaoh: Okay, but how does that help?
Kaiba: What?
Pharaoh: Won't that just make it harder for you to draw the card you want?
Kaiba: No! It-It... I have unlimited cards now! You only have forty! That is much less than what I have!
— Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, "Crowd Atlas"
"When 3 Destiny Counters are on this card, you win the Duel." ...And before three Counters are on it, you'll lose the duel.
Vegeta: Hey, Kakarot, what happened to your Ultra Instinct?!
Goku: I can't do it!
Vegeta: What?!
Goku: I guess I was pushed to the edge in the tournament and did it accidentally!
Goku: I can't do it!
Vegeta: What?!
Goku: I guess I was pushed to the edge in the tournament and did it accidentally!
Popular fiction has shown us the awesome, brutal power of the chainsaw. Its lightning-quick rotating teeth can easily slice through flesh and bone, making the strength and skill required for manual weapons unnecessary. Its roar might also give the owner a much-need psychological boost — empowerment in a situation where abject terror is a given. How many horror movies have you seen in which this industrial killing machine has spelled doom for anyone and anything it touched? In reality, however, chainsaws and similar powered devices rank extremely low on the list of practical zombie-killing weapons. For starters, their fuel supply is finite. Once drained, they provide as much protection as a hand-held stereo. Carrying extra fuel or power cells leads to the second inherent problem: weight. The average chainsaw weighs ten pounds, compared to a two-pound machete. Why increase the chances of exhaustion? Safety must also be considered. One slip, and the spinning teeth might be slicing through your skull just as easily as your enemy's. Like any machine, another problem is noise. A chainsaw's distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot "Dinner is served!"
Harrenhal is a prize; a nigh-impregnable castle with enough land and income to make a man, at a stroke, one of the greatest lords in Westeros. But you would not be entirely right, either. Say, by a king's grace, Harrenhal became yours. Now you must garrison it. You must repair it and maintain it. Even stretched to the end of your means, you cannot fill and manage the whole castle. So you would retreat your household to four of the five towers — then three, then two, then only the bottom thirds of those. You close the Hall of the Hundred Hearths and take your meals in your rooms. Even then you can't shake the feeling of desolation; that Harrenhal and its vastness is devouring you
In later years, as you bury a grandson or a great-grandson, the last of your line... you will know it has.
—Lady Catelyn Stark, Game of Thrones - History And Lore Of Westeros: Harrenhal
There is no port in the Kingdome that can harbour this shipp. The wild sea must bee her port, her anchors and cables her safety; if either fayle, the shipp must perish, the King lose his jewel, four or five hundred man must die, and perhaps some great and noble peer."
—The Brethren of Trinity House in regards to Charles II's planned new flagship, the Sovereign of the Seas
In the nineteenth century, Brakebills had appointed a librarian with a highly romantic imagination who had envisioned a mobile library in which the books fluttered from shelf to shelf like birds, reorganizing themselves spontaneously under their own power in response to searches. For the first few months the effect was said to have been quite dramatic. A painting of the scene survived as a mural behind the circulation desk, with enormous atlases soaring around the place like condors.
But the system turned out to be totally impractical. The wear and tear on the spines alone was too costly, and the books were horribly disobedient. The librarian had imagined he could summon a given book to perch on his hand just by shouting out its call number, but in actuality they were just too willful, and some were actively predatory. The librarian was swiftly deposed, and his successor set about domesticating the books again...
I hesitated over one sketch of a particularly grandiose prop-driven airliner, all wing, like a fat symmetrical boomerang with windows in unlikely places. Labeled arrows indicated the locations of the grand ballroom and two squash courts. It was dated 1936.
, all wing, like a fat symmetrical boomerang with windows in unlikely places. Labeled arrows indicated the locations of the grand ballroom and two squash courts. It was dated 1936."This thing couldn't have flown...?" I looked at Dialta Downes.
"Oh, no, quite impossible, even with those twelve giant props; but they loved the look, don't you see? New York to London in less than two days, first-class dining rooms, private cabins, sun decks, dancing to jazz in the evening... The designers were populists, you see; they were trying to give the public what it wanted. What the public wanted was the future."
— The Gernsback Continuum, by William Gibson
In the year 2000, one of these laser turntables cost $20,500, but it didn't stop there, as you'd also need a really good record cleaner to go along with it. They suggest one that costs another $13,500. Why the cleaner? Well, because laser turntables can't cope with any dust. Any specks of dirt get read by the laser and create a sound described in this review as sounding like "someone munching potato chips". It says "you simply have to clean - preferably wet clean" - a record before playing it on a laser turntable. Although it says that "if a record has recently been wet-cleaned, vaccuumed dry, and properly stored, it is possible to play it [...] after thoroughly re-vaccumming it[s surface]". Does this still sound like a good idea to you?
Now, I recently saw a new machine on eBay for for the bargain sum of 15 thousand US dollars, plus $600 postage. And to that, I'd also have to add on import duty and 20% VAT - that's tax, for those people that don't know. Also, bear in mind that the laser turntable can only play black vinyl, so you'd need to keep a separate stylus-equipped record player around if you've got anything else.
So here's my final word on this. I won't be making a video about it; even if it was a tenth of the price, I still would not want one, and if I had that kind of money lying around, I could think of much better ways to spend it.
Now, I recently saw a new machine on eBay for for the bargain sum of 15 thousand US dollars, plus $600 postage. And to that, I'd also have to add on import duty and 20% VAT - that's tax, for those people that don't know. Also, bear in mind that the laser turntable can only play black vinyl, so you'd need to keep a separate stylus-equipped record player around if you've got anything else.
So here's my final word on this. I won't be making a video about it; even if it was a tenth of the price, I still would not want one, and if I had that kind of money lying around, I could think of much better ways to spend it.
You're swinging a god-damn greatsword. You're going to stand your ground like the Great Wall of China: mostly ineffective but too much of a visual marvel to be torn down.
—JoCat, Crap Guide to Monster Hunter
Moth: Now face the wrath of my Steam Sword!
Harvey: What does the steam do?!
Moth: IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! IT JUST LOOKS COOL! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF STEAMPUNK! IT'S NOT PRACTICAL!
—Harvey Beaks, Steampunks Pt. 2
A skeletal steed. Impressive but impractical. I had one but the head fell off.
— Death in Reaper Man
Just because an idea is clever or cool doesn’t mean it’s useful or even good.
Azmuth: It could work! Alien X can do anything!
Gwen: Only if Ben can convince Alien X to cooperate.
Kevin: Yep. That's all he has to do.
— Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, The Forge of Creation
Agent One: Good god! WHY are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo period!
Agent Two: Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!
Agent One: Dammit, you're right.
Agent Two: Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!
Agent One: Dammit, you're right.
Scott Calvin: Since we've opened this box, have any of you tried to build the Total Tank? It's got 10,000 parts, and even if you do get it together, it breaks ten minutes later. Then you gotta spend more money just to buy new parts.
Total Tank Presenter: I thought that was the whole point.
Scott Calvin: No, no, no, no. What we gotta do is develop a basic, simple, inexpensive toy, that will nurture a child's creative thinking.
I'll believe in people settling Mars at about the same time I see people setting the Gobi Desert. The Gobi Desert is about a thousand times as hospitable as Mars and five hundred times cheaper and easier to reach. Nobody ever writes "Gobi Desert Opera" because, well, it's just kind of plonkingly obvious that there's no good reason to go there and live. It's ugly, it's inhospitable and there's no way to make it pay. Mars is just the same, really. We just romanticize it because it's so hard to reach.
This ship idea has so many flaws that it's just ridiculous to even consider this as bein[g] even conceivable. Problems such as but not limited to:
1. The ship is so long that it will cause severe stress on [its] main structure. Over time this will cause either the ship to simply break up in bits and sink, or flex so much that it will act like a[n] accordion crushing any compartment that gets in the way (and likely end up getting so severely damaged in a storm that it will sink on that note)[.]
2. Due to the weight of a structure this size it will lay too deep which makes getting to ANY shore impossible. So docking to land as any other ship would do is [therefore] out of the question. In addition to this issue you will need at least 50 well sized ships that perform ferry duty to get people either on or off the ship which may take up to a full week if not longer. Even adding a constant stream of aircraft coming in with the most perfect weather and calm [seas] it will still take ages to get this done. The dream of this ship being a home that is not stationary is [therefore] utter BS. Each time they will stop to allow people to get on or off will [therefore] take a minimum of [two] weeks if not a month. It will completely beat the idea that it was designed for and it will anger passengers and likely locals that have to look at this monstrosity blocking their view.
3. Now take a look at a[n] aircraft carrier from any Navy. Every time a[n] aircraft touches down or takes off you can hear and feel it on the lowest point of the ship. Now translate that to the concept of this ship. The aircraft are way larger which need to get adjusted properly to even be allowed to land on a flight deck as they are not [built] for it for starters. Also they will produce a hell lot more noise which will end up in passengers and crew complaining if not ending up in rioting eventually. Aside from that, there is no indication that the ship even can carry the weight of [its] own decks not even mentioning aircraft touching down and taking off. Sooner or later it will cause decks to collapse. This will also [affect] the glass that is everywhere on this ship, glass will shatter eventually and need constant maintenance. Best solution for aircraft will be helicopters as no airline company will adapt their fleet to suit this idea as it will be insanely expensive and stupid to do. Helicopters however are already suited to the task and can touch down and take off with a lot less stress on the flight deck or the ship. Even noise is far less as the flight deck is large enough to deflect most of the sounds until the helicopter flies away.
4. There is no flight control tower, this will seriously cause issues with aircraft coming in and leaving. A tower is needed to observe traffic on the field so they have a visual confirmation of who is where and what possible threats may arise. Also there is a good reason why a navy carrier has a slightly angled deck, something that is missing here as well. With aircraft being on deck at all times it makes landing and taking off a lot harder as even a slight mistake will cause a huge accident to occur. Which may not even be limited to the flight deck which doesn't cover every possibility of accidents (debris falling down and ending up crashing into the passenger areas) but it also is too thin so these heavy aircraft that land will possibly rip up the deck and destroy multiple decks.
5. The size of this ship means it will require support ships at all times to make sure no other ships get in the way and cause collisions. But also to help navigate as this huge ship isn't able to do that on her own. This because it doesn't have any radar of [its] own or other navigation options (at least not visible and these things you [cannot] hide under a flight deck or between walls as it will negate the effect it has)[.] Even communication with the outside is for this reason nearly impossible unless you are nearby enough to catch short distance radio signals. Which makes it highly dangerous to maneuver even with additional support vessels.
6. For trees and plants to grow you will need enough soil to keep it where it needs to be and not fall over with the first storm that the ship encounters. A bush that decides to fly off may just injure someone, but a tree that falls could easily kill a person. Also you will need a pretty sizable crew specialized in taking care of your greenery as there is so much of it so that you won't have plants and trees die on you and cause havoc on your ship.
7. The rear of this ship shows [three] bits sticking out that need to serve as docking [areas] for smaller ships. Well..[.] the two outer ones may be pretty sturdy, but the center one will snap off in even a slightly wavy sea. If that thing doesn't retract into the ship it will be a huge issue to get people on and off the ship by small ferry. Which as I stated earlier will be a pain to start with getting people on and off which takes forever for something this size.
8. With a ship this size you will need thousands of people in service to cover all stations, this means every single person in your crew list will need their own cabin. For being on sea for pretty much all the time you can't really give them a tiny shared cabin as this will be causing all kinds of red flags to pop up. These need to have all basic needs to say the least if not have luxuries of their own. On top of that you need to work in groups, every group needs [its] own HQ so they can do their jobs properly and effectively. This all combined you could easily [lose] [two] decks for crew and work areas alone to make your crew happy.
This ship is no more [than] a money pit. The idea in general is not bad, but the scale and how it looks is so insane that this will NEVER leave the comforts of paper (or digital art). It's even so insanely dangerous that many countries around the world will ban this ship from even getting near their waters.
—SIG442, comment on Why the World's Biggest Ship is an AWFUL Idea, Real Life Lore
, Real Life LoreAlso chandeliers. Nobody needs one. They have one of the worst cost to utility ratios of any household object. And yet, if you're rich, you have 30 of them.
There's a lot of technology in search of a customer. You know, in other words a lot of companies do things because it's technically possible. But in the end, nobody cares. Nobody wants to buy them. And so we see a lot of that: technology in search of a customer. And I think the hard thing is to figure out what can be done, but also what people really want to do.
"So, let's sum up, then: instant torque, savage power, mesmerising speed, Mercedes quality, no noise, and a petrol bill of exactly... naught. It sounds, then, like the stuff of dreams, but there are drawbacks. Range, for example. If you wanted to drive this car from London to Manchester, you'd have to stop in Stoke-on-Trent and spend twenty hours charging it up. Mercedes themselves say that at full chat it wouldn't be able to do two laps of the Nürburgring... and they may have a point; I've only been out here for seven minutes on this run, and I've used 44% of the juice. And there's more. The electric SLS is £360,000. And for that, you could have an SLS Black and twenty thousand gallons of petrol, which is enough to take it from here... to the moon. As a result, you'd have to be soft in the head to buy the yellow car instead of the V8."
Zach: The advantage of caseless ammo is that you can fit more rounds into a magazine now because you don't have to put the, the shell casing in there.
Mike: And grunts love it because they don't have to do brass cleanup.
Zach: The disadvantage of caseless ammo is we're still... not... quite at the point where it works.
Mike: And grunts love it because they don't have to do brass cleanup.
Zach: The disadvantage of caseless ammo is we're still... not... quite at the point where it works.
Remind me again why we made the Invisible Boatmobile, invisible.
