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Quotes: Authority Equals Ass Kicking
"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one!"''
The Soldier, Team Fortress 2

"I didn't come here as a witness!"
Artemisia, 300: Rise of an Empire

"Don't fuck with this senator!"
Steven Armstrong, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Matt: ...So what is he? He's not... is he a cyborg, or...
Pat: He's a senator!
Matt: All senators have this hidden power!

Chris: Aw yes, motherf**kiní Shredder.
Matt: He essentially just falls into the shot fromÖthe sky. Really, where did he come from?
Chris: Who cares? Itís awesome.
Matt: And then he just owns. The turtles canít touch him...when youíve got hundreds, if not thousands of kids and trained ninjas to do your work for you, why would you get your hands dirty unless it really mattered? Another thing: This is the first time the Turtles appear to not be having fun when they fight. Even when Aprilís house was coming down around them, they were enjoying it.
Chris: Yeah, they go from wisecracks to ďoh this guy is going to kill usĒ pretty quick, which is something they didnít even do when Raph was in a coma. Motherf**kiní Shredder!
Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"The real star of this picture is the inimitable Lou Gossett Jr., who you may remember from his timeless role as pigeon-cooing, pregnant lizard-man Jerry in Enemy Mine. We're not going to claim he's more dignified here, since there are few things more humiliating than groveling to Kirk Cameron about finding Jesus, but at least he gets to put on a suit and pretend to be the President of the United States. And make no mistake, President LGJ is a man of action. He doesn't have time for meetings, or press conferences, or delegation of any kind. He's the world's first and last guerilla president, literally sneaking out the back door of the smoldering White House ruins every five minutes to go on solo black ops commando missions spying on the Antichrist's operations, blowing away peace-loving buddhist commie trash, stamping out the corruption of Roman popery, backflipping onto the wings of MiGs at mach speeds and ripping out their internal circuitry with his teeth to reprogram them to take giant, electric, freedom-loving Biblical napalm missile-shits all over heathens' faces, and most importantly, trying to suicide bomb the Russian (evil) Antichrist with a magic cruise-missile-summoning lapel pin. The scary part is, only some of that was even embellished by us."
Something Awful on Left Behind


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