Because Tiffany lamps are bitchin'.

HAHAHA MY ANGST COCK IS BIGGER AND BETTER THAN YOURS

God I wish I could get a blow job...CURSE MY LACK OF A PENIS!

I am going to curl up in my bed and enjoy the smell of me. God I'm so awesome.

You bastard! You were planning on that happening weren't you! Oh but I miss you! I have a Christmas present to make for you Haven...

We're salty. At least our sweat and natural lubricant is.

I once went through a moment where I was absolutely sickened with humanity to the point of crying. And then I started laughing. And it lasted for quite a bit of time.

I already white knight Hitler. Get your own Nazi.

...WHY CALIFORNIA! I JUST WANT DOG LEGALLY!

My face...is...lesbians?

Mmm...granny.

"SPREAD THAT LOVING KINDNESS LIKE A SONNUVABITCH."

FUCK YOU ALL I AM THE BODHISATTA OF CUTENESS AND LESBIANISM.

"Indeed. You can only do so much. Choose your fights and pick what to expend your emotions and focus on carefully lest you lose sight of other potentially more pressing matters that you could be attending to."

There isn't nearly enough boob mutilation now that I think of it.

"NOW STFU AND BE BUDDHIST OR ELSE."

I WILL THERAPIZE YOUR FACE OFF AND REFER YOU TO A PSYCHIATRIST IF I BELIEVE IT TO BE A SOUND COURSE OF ACTION.

Because I'm American and most of the penises we come in contact with are cut.

It's sort like you know that there's this guy who dresses like Elmo on fourth street, but only shows up every so often. So he freaks you out unlike the dude who sacrifices sheep there every day

I'LL BE ROCKIN' THAT CHULLO LIKE SOME SORT OF CALIFORNIAN HIPSTER FUCK. Aww yeah. Chullo in 100 degree weather while drinking loose leaf green tea blends with the names in Japanese.