"You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass"
"Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear
It's my way or the highway this Christmas at my bar
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car"
"Because it wouldn't be Christmas without guns and homicidal tendencies!"
— Linkara, Atop the Fourth Wall
"This is it. Another Christmas in the trenches."
— Kevin McCallister, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
"Iím sorry if this offends anyone, but letís be real: Thereís a reason we have Christmas, and itís time we acknowledge that. And that reason is that Batman reversed time to stop the Earth from being blown up by antimatter."
"Chuck comes out shooting, brandishing twin Uzis holstered at his sides in a custom leather harness... He takes cover in Santa's Village and then carries out a protracted gun battle using the fake snow banks as cover. I'm serious. Even funnier, the battle spills over past Santa's house and into the nearby Nativity scene."
"After all, where else do you see a Planet of the Apes ape crush Nazi John Turturroís head in between his thighs? Where do you see jet pack wearing rats driving motorcycles with Gatling guns on the front? Where do you see a shark killed with fluorescent lighting as a means of highlighting the Nazis' plan to kill toy-kind? The festive holiday world of Nutcracker in 3D thatís where!"