"Don't hit Thomas like that. Hit him like this, it's funnier. And using the sledgehammer is strangely thereputic."
"Hi Haley. Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen."
— Elan, The Order of the Stick
Kreese: Howard, I hate that prick. When we fought, that dirty bastard kicked me with his spures and tore my scrotum.
Kreese: You know, my nuts unraveled like two balls of yarn - you know how fuckin' long two balls of yarn is?
"Sam! Guess what Florence does when you pull her tail!"