Dan Rather: "Well, here they are. Your candidates for President, every one of them as dumb as a porcupine stuck to a watermelon. These are the types of idiots we produce for public office. Do your duty in November: move away."
We have a two-party system: the Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas. And the way it works is — the Republican stands up in Congress and goes, "I got a really bad idea!" And the Democrat says, "And I can make it shittier!"
Let's face it: our two-party system is basically a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.
As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbency rate; a Supreme Court comprised of nine politically appointed judges whose only oversight is the icy scythe of Death—all these reveal a system fully capable of maintaining itself. But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember that ... dozens of foreign countries still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is that, in a democracy, the whores are us.
American politics. Governors, Senators, Congressmen... No wonder nothing ever gets done.
