Ron: You know, some of us learn and grow from our little adventures!
Bonnie: Whatever, loser.
—Kim Possible, "Homecoming Upset"
Marge: Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear?
Homer: Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing.
— The Simpsons, "Homer Badman"
Lois: So Peter, I guess you've learned a valuable lesson from this.
"Unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we learn, and then we have to learn them all over again."
— Jet Black, Cowboy Bebop
Schneider: Look, Rory, all you have to do is get the keys to your father's car, and his credit card...
Ben Sandwich: I dunno, Shane. I got a real bad feeling about this, you know? I've never done anything like this befo... oh, man! We're doing this story again?! How many times have we done this, Matt? A hundred thousand?
Schneider: He's yelling again. Stop the yelling.
Ben Sandwich: You know, how could I learn so much, every week, and still be so stupid?!"
"It's like I have some...Selective amnesia that only serves to push certain events forward."
—Dan O'Brien, Agents Of Cracked
"Thus proving that the sarge has never met a lesson he actually learned."
—Narrator, Sgt. Frog
"You know, although it was a dream, I learned a valuable lesson, man. I just... don't remember what it was."
— Mega Ran, "Boss Fight"
Applejack: I sure am proud of you, sis. Seems like you finally learned the importance of patience.
Apple Bloom: Yup! All good things come to those who wait.
(Two second pause)
Apple Bloom: Well, I've waited long enough!
Scootaloo: Actually, that was way too long!
— My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "The Cutie Pox"
Brittany: Welcome back to Fondue For Two. Tonightís guests are two sworn enemies, who became friends, then became enemies again, then became friends again, then enemies and then everybody stopped caring.
Barney: We're not getting too old for anything.
Ted: You sure? I feel like we collectively learn the opposite lesson, like, at least once a year.
"One of the ongoing jokes in the strip is that Calvin usually learns the wrong lesson from his experiences, if he learns anything at all. Calvin's expression in the last panel suggests that he's resisting the moral here, too."
— Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
"Disguises haunted Mary Marvel's entire career. A change of slacks or a well-placed hat would throw her right off your trail. If you punched a puppy with your left hand and waved to Mary Marvel with your other, she'd apologize and ask you if you saw anyone run by left-handedly. She died a virgin because every time one of her beaus changed clothes she mistook it for a first date."
"While Sailor Moonís adversaries take plenty of different forms, Vís tend to mostly be pop idols who hypnotize people through their songs and then suck up all their energy for nefarious purposes. Seriously, this happens like five times in a row, and every time, V is surprised to find out that this new idol is actually a monster. That might seem like a reasonable thing to be surprised about, and it would be if every single one of them did not have the word 'Dark' somewhere in their name, and were also managed by the same talent firm, which was 'the Dark Agency.'"
Spoony: John Cena's dad...seriously. This is like the third time he's been assaulted by Randy Orton. John Cena Sr. needs to have a private security detail assigned to him. John Cena needs to stop buying his dad tickets.
Miles: Just don't have him in the front row! Put him— even five rows back!
Spoony: Get him a skybox! For God's sake, John, you can afford it!
"So the problem is that the Keller machine hurts people (who then forget about the experience) and is dangerous. The actual process of forcible brain damage to cure criminal impulses is fine.
In the end, though, given that I view the entire point of The War Games as being that the Doctor has to take a more complex view of the world than 'there are monsters and we need to stop them,' seeing a story where the concept amounts to treating humans with the moral seriousness usually reserved for rubber suits is dismaying."
"Clark says, 'Hey, Ma. You remember the last person I told the secret to? I forget her name, but I recall she died of a slow, hanging, asphyxiation style death while I screamed to the Heavens. Alexia...Alena...I don't know, doesn't matter. I only married her. Point being, when I tell people my secret, they often DIE.'
Ma Kent says, 'Hey, Tom, that's not in the script.'
The director then says cut, and they have to do it again and again. WELLING!"
Spider-Man: In the first movie, I made a promise to Uncle Ben to pick up Aunt May from work, but I forgot, and because of that, Uncle Ben died. So the lesson I learned there is that it's important to keep my promises, right? Nope! Because later Captain Stacy dies and makes me promise (again!) to stay away from Gwen, and my final words in the movie are that the best kinds of promises aren't worth keeping. I've learned nothing, because I'm an asshole. Then, months later, I see a stranger on the street and decide to tell him that he's "my eyes and ears down here." I directly involve him in my vigilante justice, even though he's clearly a skinny dweeb doing an impression of Jim Carrey from Batman Forever. Then that backfires when he becomes obsessed with me, has a hissy fit, and becomes Electro... I let Gwen Stacy come help me fight Electro, and then she dies, too. Seems like a pretty obvious lesson there: 'Don't involve other people in my crime fighting, because they'll die.' With great power comes great responsibility. I've learned that three times now — has it sunk in?