Quotes: Acceptable Targets
hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.
There is no hell. There is only France
The other night I went to a Chinese-German restaurant down the street. The food is great, but an hour later you're hungry for power.
Corporate America: Killing art.
"This whole movie
, these terrorists have just been inept clowns. It's just—And then it just ends with him on a Wile E. Coyote missile."
"(guffaws) Yeah, Cameron
was not sympathetic to the terrorists at all."
Rural satanists. Of course it's rural satanists.
Brought to the brink of extinction, [the Daleks
] have been forced to resurrect themselves from the 'dregs'... which seems to be synonymous with the contestants who lose game shows. The Daleks take the people who get knocked out before the finale. Because the Daleks have become TV producers. They've become the people who run Big Brother
and Trinny & Susannah
and The Weakest Link
. They've become the bosses of reality TV. They've become Simon Cowell. (Which is kind of an insult
to the Daleks, if you ask me.)
One of the many advantages of Nazis is that you don't have to justify shit. 'Hey, this guy's a Nazi, want to drown him in his own piss?' the game might ask. 'Sorry, did you say something? I was busy drowning a Nazi in his own piss,' we might reply.
The Dolphins even suck in Madden
Thatís the great thing about doing this column on the Internet: We can smack-talk the Amish all we want; theyíll never know.
Oh my, I guess Mark Trail rescuing his antagonists from fiery car crashes
to show his dominance over them is a story element of the past! Under Mark Trail
ís new management, Mark pulls you from a fiery car crash to show his magnanimity, rushes you to a hospital Ö and then you die, from your animal-poaching sins...I deem this a tough but fair punishment of an unpleasant fictional character for rhino-murder.
I would have very much enjoyed hearing this doctor explain to Mark and Lori exactly why Chris died. "His injuries didnít seem life-threatening at first, but despite our best efforts his wounds became infected almost immediately. Itís as if no matter how much we cleaned him, he was always Ö
Why is it always about Congress with Deceased Crab? He won't stop making fun of Congress. It's so easy! And no one is ever gonna take offense. You should try it!
Over the past 20 years, there have been five bandsnote
totally acceptable to hate reflexively (and by "totally acceptable," I mean that the casual hater wouldn't even have to provide a justification ó he or she could just openly hate them and no one would question why).
1) Chechens - Shoot on sight.
2) Bears - Shoot on sight.
3) Wolves - Shoot on sight.
4) Fascists - Shoot on sight.
5) Zombies - Consult with Dr. Mann first.
6) Rabid dogs - Shoot on sight.
7) Chaos Insurgents - Shoot on sight. Show no mercy. These are less than human.
8) SCP-682 - Most of the time you will not even see SCP-682. But you must prepare for all things, and this is something to prepare for. SCP-682 is a soulless monster and should be shot repeatedly until he is deads.
9) Vegetarians - These people know nothing about f