Quotes: Accentuate the Negative

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    film — live-action 
Grouches of the world unite
Stand up for your Grouch-ly rights
Don't let the sunshine spoil your rain
Just stand up and complain!

Let this be the Grouches' cause
Point out everybody's flaws!
Something is wrong with everything
Except the way I sing!
Oscar the Grouch, "The Grouch Anthem", Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird

(cackles) "Good, good! Let the hate flow through you!"
Emperor Palpatine, Return of the Jedi

    literature 

Amanda Honeydew: Gosh, this place looks so tiny! I remember it was huge!
Enid Nightshade: It's quite small, actually.
Jadu Wali: Miniscule.
Ruby Cherrytree: Falling apart, most of it.
Enid Nightshade: There's only parts worth living in. You have to really squash up.
Mr. Hallow: Now girls, we're here to celebrate the castle's anniversary not exaggerate its shortcomings.
The Worst Witch, "The Millennium Bug" (Season 2, Episode 13)

    live-action tv 

Frasier: What is the one thing better than an exquisite meal? An exquisite meal with one tiny flaw we can pick at all night.
Niles: Quite right. (raises glass) To impossible standards!
Frasier, "Retirement Is Murder"

"I need to stand on a rake or fall in a vat of sheep excrement for there to be something to write about each month. Good news, frankly, is dull."
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

    podcasts 

Simon: ...big alien machines, big explosions, big army stuff, fast cars, and battles and thats-gonna-hurt scenes. Very very entertaining, better than the last effort by miles. And with that spirit of optimism, let's find out what Mark thinks.
Mark: Well, it's horrible, vile, vulgar and hideous, but it's important to understand why.

    web original 

"Want a serious biography? The Other Wiki has an entire category dedicated to Barack Obama ó this article mostly focuses on the crap people have said about him, including us."

"Now, if you're looking for a balanced and thoughtful critique, then what the fuck are you doing here? I'm just going to rail it with the same point as always until it cries. Strap in while I strap-on, viewer."

"Writing about shows I like is less funny then writing about shows I hate. So instead of discussing today's Spider-Man episode, let's take an interlude and discuss some of Kids' WB!'s final commercials."

"I know we mainly focused on the shitty aspects, but let me tell you, that's the name of the game."

"But hey, here comes Shawn Michaels to try to stem the tide. Heís great.

But hey, this is
WrestleCrap, and I am RD Reynolds, so letís nitpick, shall we?"

"Much like Hogan in the mid-eighties, his promo and character were light-years ahead of everyone else. And in 1989, he had his trio of matches with Ricky Steamboat, which are lauded as the best of all time. Betcha if we reviewed 'em, they'd be shit."

"One of the things that I've been contemplating as I teach the handful of sections of courses I can get is the fact that we've really done an awfully cynical job of teaching people to read. Not necessarily a bad one — actually my students are very good at following plot and comprehending the reading. Apparently we've gotten that down. No, where we fall flat is that we've somehow created an army of cynical readers who go looking to dislike things."

"Sometimes its hard to write a positive review especially for a movie you call your favorite of the year. For one it builds up expectations for the movie which cannot sometimes be met. Some times it lures that special kind of a**hole who must proclaim it the most overrated piece of garbage to grace a screen this year... Also as a personal observation, I find its harder to explain why something is great than it is to trash it. I can give reasons why a story is terrible or the characters are flat but its harder to explain why something works."

"I will be the judge of that (says the man predetermined to hate it)!"

"Okay, I stand by everything I have said, and I do advocate rational discourse over a hurricane of trolls. But I'm also an Internet critic and...well, this is part of the show, now, where I act like a guffawing dickhead."

"People hate plot holes in movies. At least, that's what they'll tell you. But sometimes, if a movie is awesome enough, people will overlook even the most retarded gaps in reason and logic. ...At least, until some asshole on the Internet points them out and makes a big list of them."

"The scene's about the characters, and it's a nice scene, but I'm not here to accentuate what's nice."
D. R. McLeod, The Agony Booth's recap of Hulk (2003)

"Every year, I promise myself that Iíll never read Gregggggg again, and then he goes and writes something awful and I feel compelled to speak up on behalf of America. Thereís something admirable in how bad Greggggggg is from week to week. I can always count on him to pretend he is the only person who knows obvious things and to bitch about fictional stories being fictional. Itís quite an achievement."

Often on television, characters waive around Starbucks-style coffee cups that are obviously empty props. Cops show up for work looking disheveled and holding a coffee cup that has a lid but doesn't seem to weigh anything or radiate heat ó there's no sleeve around the cup.

"OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS RUINED NOW. Iím gonna watch reruns of Hawaii Five-O and all Iíll be able to think about is HEY WHY ISNíT THAT COFFEE HOT?!"
Drew Magary, "Gregg Easterbrook Is A Haughty Dipshit"

"If power stations could be run on entitled stupidity, Yelp is living proof that all of humanity would never need live in darkness again...Do you get how a numbered rating system works, Elise P.? If a place is good, you give it stars. If it's really good, you give it more stars. At no point are you supposed to boomerang back and start deducting stars because it crossed a goodness threshold. Your job is not to try to prove Einstein correct."

    real life 

"No one gossips about other peopleís secret virtues."

"All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else."

"So much for Objective Journalism. Don't bother to look for it here—not under any byline of mine; or anyone else I can think of. With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms."
Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72

"I think these are passages we can skim past. They're awful, of course, but awful in a pedestrian way. I'm more interested in the more instructively awful passages of this book."
Fred Clarke, on Tribulation Force

"The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in the darkness and blind to the light, always pursuing vermin and never hunting noble game."
Henry Ward Beecher