The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in the darkness and blind to the light, always pursuing vermin and never hunting noble game.

The scene's about the characters, and it's a nice scene, but I'm not here to accentuate what's nice.

If my Psychonauts review taught me anything, it's that no one likes me when I'm being nice to a game. So let me quickly get the praise for Bio Shock out of the way first.

Amanda Honeydew: Gosh, this place looks so tiny! I remember it was huge!

Enid Nightshade: It's quite small, actually.

Jadu Wali: Miniscule.

Ruby Cherrytree: Falling apart, most of it.

Enid Nightshade: There's only parts worth living in. You have to really squash up.

Mr. Hallow: Now girls, we're here to celebrate the castle's anniversary not exaggerate its shortcomings.

I think these are passages we can skim past. They're awful, of course, but awful in a pedestrian way. I'm more interested in the more instructively awful passages of this book.

First Person: These autumn leaves sure are nice.

Cynic: Yeah, 'cause they're dead.