Lesson one, free of charge:
No matter how big you are, there's always something bigger.
No matter how nasty you are, there's always something nastier.
No matter how lucky you are, there's always someone luckier.
—Elminster, The Grand Tour Forgotten Realms comics.
By the time we reached the outskirts of the city, one bear had already bolted into the brush, scrambling in the general direction of Anauroch as fast as his paws could take him. The other bear was whining like a whipped kitten, digging his claws into the ground and refusing to move. I had my arms around his neck and was trying to drag him forward when I heard something thunder overhead. A red dragon was roaring out of Myth Drannor, wings beating furiously, its face wrenched in stark terror! I didn't wait to see what was chasing it.
Omnibus, pirates and gangsters and other "outlaws" are nothing but arrogant children. They think that the rules are just there to spoil their fun, and that only wimps and losers live by them. And so they figure that being an outlaw makes them the biggest, baddest predators in the universe. They're dead wrong. What it makes them is rightful prey. Of the civilization they spurned, and of the things their civilization protected them from without their ever knowing. There are powers and principalities out there that pick their teeth with the bones of "big, bad outlaws" that wander out past the fence. Our three eyed buccaneers just learned that their worst nightmare is true: The bars on the cage aren't there to protect the tiger... and the tiger isn't them.
There was tons of shots of disasters and people running and human characters, and more of that in a second. But the centerpiece of the footage was a sequence where a big monster is attacking an airport, shredding airplanes and trashing buildings. It looks sort of like the Cloverfield monster with a more of a beetle-like carapace and spindly insect legs. It looks massive and powerful.
Yesterday, director Gareth Edwards told us there would be other creatures in the film — and here's our first sight of one. It looks scary and huge.
And then Godzilla's foot comes down next to the creature. Godzilla's FOOT. Which is dwarfing this poor spindly little creature.
And then there's a massive hero shot of this previously big-looking creature looming over the airport, and then Godzilla rises up behind it, and it's like a skyscraper next to a hut. Godzilla is this ginormous dark scaly beast with a gaping maw and a mighty screaming roar, and the crowd basically lost its shit. Host Chris Hardwick made a joke about people having to change their pants, and this seemed totally accurate.
You pull yourself up as tall as you can, because you're fuckin royalty, right, an say in your best highblood tones, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't cull you right now." An then you get a proper look at the color a her fins, and catch on half a second too late what your dad's tryin to say to you, and, um. Oh. "Tyrian? Uh. Like the empress??"
She snorts, an it's so fuckin un-regal that you're almost ashamed a your own behavior. "Don't have to answer to you!"