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Hol Horse: The gun is mightier than the sword, my friend.
Polnareff: Just what the hell are you trying to get at, anyway?
Hol Horse: See, my stand is the gun, so your sword can't beat my gun.
Polnareff: What's that? I can beat your bum? Oh, you're into that stuff!
Polnareff starts laughing, and Hol Horse joins in shortly. After some fifteen seconds of laughter-
Hol Horse: I'll fuckin' kill you!
Polnareff: Just what the hell are you trying to get at, anyway?
Hol Horse: See, my stand is the gun, so your sword can't beat my gun.
Polnareff: What's that? I can beat your bum? Oh, you're into that stuff!
Polnareff starts laughing, and Hol Horse joins in shortly. After some fifteen seconds of laughter-
Hol Horse: I'll fuckin' kill you!
— JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, 2000 OVA (2003 English dub)
Hol Horse: "The gun is mightier than the sword." Such a brilliant quote.
Polnareff: What are you trying to say, exactly?
Hol Horse: That I have a Stand that shoots, and a sword simply can't beat that.
Polnareff: So what, a pea shooter?!
Polnareff laughs with Hol Horse joining in. About 8 seconds later-
Polnareff and Hol Horse: Prepare to die!
Polnareff: What are you trying to say, exactly?
Hol Horse: That I have a Stand that shoots, and a sword simply can't beat that.
Polnareff: So what, a pea shooter?!
Polnareff laughs with Hol Horse joining in. About 8 seconds later-
Polnareff and Hol Horse: Prepare to die!
— JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, 2014 anime (2017 English dub)
"King Dedede may be a despicable dictator, but you've got to admit he's got some funny shtick."
— Meta Knight, Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
Comic Books
"I'd wring your neck if I didn't admire you so much."
— Gen to the Snitch, after realizing he and Stray Dog have been played against each other in a elaborate double-cross, Usagi Yojimbo
Fan Works
(Cell gets the shit kicked out of him by Vegeta)
Cell's Ass: Oh, this is an unfortunate turn of events.
Vegeta: Did you just... talk out your ass?
Cell: Well... to be fair, Vegeta, you are part of my DNA.
Vegeta: Ooh, that is the closest thing you've done to damage since I've gotten here.
Cell's Ass: Oh, this is an unfortunate turn of events.
Vegeta: Did you just... talk out your ass?
Cell: Well... to be fair, Vegeta, you are part of my DNA.
Vegeta: Ooh, that is the closest thing you've done to damage since I've gotten here.
Teal Iwatani: If Monti poisons someone and I offer the antivenom for a price then-
Naofumi Iwatani: You're already pushing it. (Beat) Though ransoming antivenom for profit isn't a bad idea... Monti I'll need some of your venom later.
Naofumi Iwatani: You're already pushing it. (Beat) Though ransoming antivenom for profit isn't a bad idea... Monti I'll need some of your venom later.
—Family of the Shield, Chapter 22
Films — Live-Action
[Baxter the dog barks at Ron.]
Ron Burgundy: Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing. (chuckles)
Ron Burgundy: Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing. (chuckles)
"This last entry was a little disturbing. "The Gloves Are Off, God!" "God has taken my bird and my bush!" "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass". "Smite Me, O Mighty Smiter!" Now, I'm not much for blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh."
Literature
"Let me tell you what everyone else is afraid to say." Mercy took a deep breath, and Malice prepared to slap her into the next room depending on what words came out of her mouth. "Mother, you sound evil."
Malice blinked.
"Are you listening to yourself? 'I should have taught you a more lasting lesson,' 'You should have begged for my forgiveness,' talking about how no one should stand up to you... Mother, I feel like you're going to toss me into an active volcano. I'm afraid the next words out of your mouth are going to be 'Guards, seize her!'"
Mercy was the picture of courage, but there was a distant twinkle in her eye.
Suddenly, Malice felt absurd for holding onto her anger. It slid aside, and she began to laugh. As though she'd been waiting for that moment, Mercy joined her.
Malice blinked.
"Are you listening to yourself? 'I should have taught you a more lasting lesson,' 'You should have begged for my forgiveness,' talking about how no one should stand up to you... Mother, I feel like you're going to toss me into an active volcano. I'm afraid the next words out of your mouth are going to be 'Guards, seize her!'"
Mercy was the picture of courage, but there was a distant twinkle in her eye.
Suddenly, Malice felt absurd for holding onto her anger. It slid aside, and she began to laugh. As though she'd been waiting for that moment, Mercy joined her.
— Cradle Series book 12: Waybound
Franny hadn't taken more than three feeble steps before she stopped. She remembered when Igor helped with the monster. That was actually pretty funny, she thought.
She remembered when he helped her with her X-ray projector. Also pretty funny.
She remembered when he helped her with her X-ray projector. Also pretty funny.
— Franny K. Stein, Attack of the 50-Ft. Cupid
Live-Action TV
Beverly: Zeller wanted to give you the bullets he pulled out of Hobbs in an acrylic case, but I told him you wouldn't think it was funny.
Will: Probably not.
Beverly: I suggested one of those clacking swinging ball things.
Will: That would've been funny.
Will: Probably not.
Beverly: I suggested one of those clacking swinging ball things.
Will: That would've been funny.
—Hannibal, "Amuse-Bouche"
Dr. Cox: [Carla has been teasing him about how he's started having sex with his ex-wife again] Will you get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
Dr. Cox: Dammit, now I'm too proud of ya to be mad.
Carla: I will if you will.
Dr. Cox: Dammit, now I'm too proud of ya to be mad.
— Scrubs
"Fucking Jimmy. Fucking with us just for the fun of it. I gotta give the son of a bitch some credit for wit on this one. [chuckles] Cocksucker".
Tabletop Games
I love a good insult, even one directed at me.
— Optional personality trait for Entertainer backstory, Dungeons & Dragons fifth edition
Video Games
Batman: Do you want to know something funny? Even after everything you've done... I would have saved you.
Joker: (laughing) That actually is... pretty funny!
Joker: (laughing) That actually is... pretty funny!
"I am not smiling, I am threatening to smile. It is still a threat."
— Swain, The Noxian Grand General, League of Legends
"I finally understand why the tree-dwellers have been giving me their many inks and insisting I write with them. Looking through some of my past entries I see now that the inks have changed from the black I thought they were, to various different colors. I have shown some of the creatures my journal and they laughed and howled. I did not know they had such a sense of humor. Even now as I look through this very "colorful" journal, I cannot help but laugh myself."
— Atrus's journal on his interactions with the Channelwood Age, Myst
Father Lucian: There are many things put beneath earth that should remain beneath earth. Oh, ah... present company excepted, of course.
Hasdatean: Well played, Father. You have fangs after all.
Hasdatean: Well played, Father. You have fangs after all.
Pearl: You should feel at home here, Marina. You're used to skating by on your looks.
Marina: Ouch... OK, that was pretty good.
Marina: Ouch... OK, that was pretty good.
— Conversation at Blackbelly Skatepark, Splatoon 2
Webcomics
Gabe: Dune? It sounds dry.
Tycho: I'm trying not to be amused by that.
Tycho: I'm trying not to be amused by that.
Web Original
I go to a college in southern New York State. There isn't much around but farms. Last night someone was drunkenly shouting out of thier window with a megaphone at about 2:30-3:00am. Someone else opened a window and shouted back "I'M TRYING TO JERK OFF RIGHT NOW SO IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM GONNA COME STICK MY COCK IN YOUR BANANA BREAD!" I want to be mad that I was woken up, but at the same time I am really glad I got to hear that exchange.
Edit: N and M are right next door.
— One of many stories
in an r/AskReddit post
in an r/AskReddit post"Guys, I just realized what that looked like. Gross! It's kinda funny, but it's gross!"
— A robber, after being tricked into making a suggestive gesture, Smosh: FINGER GUNS
