Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: Live-Action Films
aka: Live-Action Films
- Once Upon a Time in the West begins with three gunmen waiting for a train for over 10 minutes with basically no dialog or any action. When the train finally arrives, their encounter with the mysterious stranger still takes four more minutes, with one of the most badass dialogs ever performed:
Stranger: "Where is Frank?"Gunman #1: "Frank send us."Stranger: "You bring a horse for me?"Gunman #1: "Looks like we're shy one horse..."Stranger: "You brought two too many..."*beat*
- "I have come here to Chew Bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum!" This famous example was used in They Live!, but parodying the line has itself become a trope.
- Shoot 'em Up, whenever Smith's Berserk Button gets pressed: "You know what I hate?"
- In King Arthur, right before the Battle of Badon Hill, Arthur speaks to the Saxon leader Cedric, telling him to "Know this face, Saxon, as it will be the last thing you see before you leave this earth." With a somewhat grudging respect, Cedric mutters as he walks off, "Finally, a man worth killing."
- The first Blade, when Whistler blows into the room where Blade is being held captive, "Catch you fuckers at a bad time?!"
- And later on, before Blade finishes off Frost, "Some muthafuckas always trying to ice skate uphill."
- How can you forget the very last line of the movie spoken in Russian? "Catch you at a bad time, tovarisch?"
- And later on, before Blade finishes off Frost, "Some muthafuckas always trying to ice skate uphill."
- True Grit, just before Rooster guns down Ned Pepper and his cohorts in a four-on-one horseback gunfight. "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!"
- Star Trek: First Contact: Worf - "Assimilate this"
- Alternatively, Data's "Resistance. Is. Futile."
- Frequently subverted in Big Trouble in Little China. Most of Jack Burton's attempts to offer a Pre Ass Kicking One Liner seem to precede him either getting his own ass whipped, or putting himself out of action by doing something stupid. Ironically, his successes tend to be preceded by not-very-clever lines, such as saying, "What the hell!" right before he finally nails Lo-Pan (though even that attack initially misfires).
- Last Action Hero (Before kicking a police officer in the groin):
Jack Slater: You want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of achers!
- Mystery Men
- The Blue Raja (a second-string superhero with a cutlery-based gimmick) is frequently shown practicing these sorts of thing. ("But I'll forkgive you if you forkgot.")
- His teammate, Mr. Furious, has a plethora of really bad one-liners... Also, the first fight starts with one from each hero present.
- The Santa Clause: "We're your worst nightmare — elves with an attitude."
- The Princess Bride: Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You Killed My Father. Prepare to Die."
- From Beowulf:
"I am ripper! Tearer! Slasher! Gouger! I am the teeth in the darkness! The talons in the night! Mine is strength! And lust! And power! I! AM! BEOWULF!"
- "I'm 'ere to kill your monstah."
- THIS! IS! SPARTA!
- And some other pretty awesome quotes: "Give them nothing! But take from them, everything!", "This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die! Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.", "Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!", "No retreat, no surrender. That is Spartan law. And by Spartan law, we will stand and fight...and die. A new age has begun: an age of freedom! And all will know that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it!", "Spartans! Prepare for glory! ", "Persians! Come and get them!" (in response to an appeal to lay down their weapons),"We're in for one wild night.", "Spartans! Push!" Needless to say, 300 was full of ridiculously awesome lines. If you saw only Ho Yay on the last two, my work here is done.
- Truth in Television, some of those — although English doesn't really have an exact analog to how "Molon labe" should be translated. Roughly speaking, what is being rendered as "Come and get them!" is more of a "You can have them if you can get to them." The modern English equivalent would be something along the lines of "You can have my weapon when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers." The line isn't really a Pre Ass Kicking One Liner, it's a Pre Getting My Ass Kicked One Liner, as was the other famous line from Plutarch: "Their" (meaning the Persians) "arrows will darken the sun!" "Then we shall fight in the shade."
- The Spartans didn't get their asses kicked at Thermopylae. True they lost, but they did NOT get their asses kicked.note
- Straw Dogs. "OKAY! You've had your fun! And if you don't clear out now... there'll be real trouble. I mean it." Another example is "This is where I live. This is me. I will not allow violence against this house."
- Evil Dead:
Deadite: I'll swallow your soul!
- Evil Dead 2. "Groovy."
Ash: Swallow this.Ash: Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.Ash: Come get some.Ash: All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This Is My Boomstick!Ash: Honey, you got reeaalll ugly.Ash: Yo, she-bitch. [chick-chick] Let's go.
- Grindhouse. "They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!"
- Casey Jones in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie: "Now that, was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes. And this is the penalty." and "The class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones."
- Highlander: "There can be only one!"
- Hellboy in the first film: "You Killed My Father. Your ass is mine!"
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: "I like Ike."
- An explanation for those who don't remember the 1950s: Indy's line was one of President Eisenhower's campaign slogans.
- The Last Boy Scout: Bruce Willis tells Damon Wayans, "This is the 90s, you can't just smack a guy in the face. You have to say something clever first. Like if you hit him with a surfboard, you say, 'Surf's up, pal!'"
- "Touch me again, and I'll kill you."
- Dirty Harry: " 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
- And Clint Eastwood again, Sudden Impact (the fourth in the series) this time: "Go ahead, make my day."
Harry Callahan: We're not gonna let you walk outta here.
- And then there's this gem:
Crook: Who's "we", suckah!?!
Harry Callahan: (reaching for his gun) Smith, Wesson and me!
- Also in The Dead Pool:
Harry Callahan: Hey! You forgot your fortune cookie! (crumbles cookie, takes slip of paper) It says, "You're shit outta luck, punk'". (commence ass-kicking, .44 Magnum-style)
- Terry Pratchett parodies that first one in Night Watch. After going back in time, Vimes attempts to pull a "Me, Mr. Burleigh and Mr. Stronginthearm," version with a crossbow, only to discover, to his great disappointment, that he's still got decades to wait before the first Burleigh & Stronginthearm crossbows will be invented. And it was SUCH a good line, too.
- The Lord of the Rings: "Do you not know death when you see it, old man? This is my hour!"
- "There's plenty for the both of us! May the best dwarf win!
- "Let them come! There is one dwarf in Moria who still draws breath!"
- The rooster crow would've been great, if they'd left it in the movie. Ah well.
- Not quite a one-liner, but "You Shall Not Pass!" and the little pile of taunts that preceded it.
'Gandalf: You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor! The Dark Fire will NOT avail you, Flame of Udûn! Go back to the shadow!
- "I am no man." (face stab)
- "If you want him, come and claim him!" by Arwen. Incidentally, it could be another translation of the Spartan "Molon Labe"
- FORTH EORLINGAS!
- Dead Alive: "I kick ass for the LORD!"
- Bad Taste: "Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"
- Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2: "Garbage Day!"
- Batman (1989 version). Batman to Joker: "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light"? He stole it from Joker, who used it when he killed Bruce Wayne's parents.
- The Joker says it earlier to Bruce Wayne who is puzzled by the line. Only quite some time later does he make the connection with his memory of the murder of his parents.
- Horribly disfigured Jack Napier before shooting Boss Grissom: "Just call me... Joker!" (Bonus funny: We suddenly realize that Jack is the name of a playing-card too).
- A Nightmare on Elm Street: "Freddy's gonna get you."
- A Clockwork Orange: "Ho ho ho! Well if it isn't fat, stinking, billygoat Billyboy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles — if ya have any yarbles, ya eunuch jelly, thou!"
- Guile — played memorably by Jean-Claude Van Damme — attempts several of these in Street Fighter. Attempts.
Guile: I'm the Repo Man... and you're out of business.Guile: This is the collection agency, Bison! Your ass is six month overdue... and it's mine!
- Scarface (1983)'s "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"
Mac: Scared motherfucker? Well, you should be. 'Cause this Green Beret is gonna kick your big ass!
Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I'm very hungry!
Cindy: (hiding under a table) I can't believe this macho bullshit...
Matrix: Remember when I said I would kill you last? ... I lied.
- The Matrix: "Dodge This."
- The German dub arguably manages to make it even more badass by matching the Agent's line "Only human" by Trinity's "Only an Agent".
- Also in Revolutions, where the Merovingian is attempting to get the main characters to give him something he wants in order for him to get Neo out of the Matrix. Trinity, with at least two dozen mooks pointing guns at the heads of her, Morpheus, and Seraph, simply says "I don't have time for this shit." and then begins beating the crap out of several of the bodyguards, catching a pistol and holding it against the Merovingian's head.
- Ripley's "Get away from her, you bitch!" in Aliens.
- As well as "Let's rock!", followed by a long burst of Smart Gun fire.
- The Dark Knight:
The Joker: (to Rachel) A little fight in you, I like that.
Batman: Then you're gonna love me.
The Joker: You know how I got these scars?
Batman: No, but I know how you got these.
Gigantic Con: You are in hell, little man! And I am the devil!
- And from the previous movie:
Bruce Wayne: You're not the devil. You're practice.
CIA Agent: Well congratulations! You got yourself caught? What's the next step in your master plan.Bane: Crashing this plane...WITH NO SURVIVORS! (*beatdown ensues)
- The latest installment carries on the tradition, only with Batman on the receiving end:
Batman: You're just made a serious mistake.Bane: Not as serious as yours, I fear...Batman: Bane.Bane: Let us not stand on ceremony...Mr Wayne.
- The Chronicles of Riddick.
Riddick: Remember that favorite game of yours?
Kyra: "Who's the better killer?"
Riddick: Let's play.Riddick: I can kill you with my teacup.
- Hot Fuzz:
Nicholas Angel: (riding into town carrying an obscene amount of weaponry) Morning.
- One of the protagonists in Race for the Yankee Zephyr (1981) has a habit of describing the eating habits of the crocodile in disgusting detail to everyone he meets. When he and his friend are stopped at a roadblock of armed mooks, they begin to recite this description in unison — then as the mooks are looking at each other in bemusement launch a Groin Attack.
- Gran Torino: Clint Eastwood's character has a ton of amazing one liners, but some of the best Pre-Asskicking One-Liners are, "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me." and "Yea? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea... use you for sandbags."
- "Get off my lawn".
- Air Force One: "Get off my plane!"
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen gives us this exchange as a prelude to (one of) Optimus' MoA:
Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Optimus: You'll never stop at one... I'll take you ALL on!
Optimus: You picked the wrong planet! GIVE ME YOUR FACE!
Optimus: Pull over!
- And then, he actually took his face.
- Another from the very beginning, when Optimus single-handedly takes down a decepticon around four times his size that's rampaging through a highway:
Megatron: No, it's just me Prime!Megatron: Join them in extinction!Megatron: Oh, so unwise...*smashes the ground beneath Sam, sending him falling to his (almost) death*
- From the first movie, we have 3 from Megatron.
Megatron: ...Besides, who would you be without me, Prime?Optimus: Time to find out.
- Optimus in Dark of the Moon:
- Die Hard: "Yippie-kai-yay, motherfucker."
- "My turn."
- "Here's my motherfuckin' farm"
- Followed up by, "I'm a lead farmer motherfucker!"
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy has the great quote by Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate): "Because I am good at three things: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? Huh?"
"Public news is taking time off for its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! NO MERCY!""Looks like we got a bilingual blood-fest."
- Public news really deserves some credit for their sheer bad-assness.
Rorshach: Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.
(cue a prolonged scene of Rorshach hacking a man's skull in half)
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:
Sirius: Get away from my godson. (SMACK)Dumbledore: It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.Voldemort: By which point I shall be gone, and you...shall be dead.*cue the most epic duel in the film franchise at that point*Harry: "Sorry Professor, I must not tell lies." Cue Umbridge's ass kicking.
- Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith: Obi-Wan drops from the rafters into General Grievous' midst. Grievous and his guards turn to look at him.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hello there.
Obi-Wan: Good, because I trained the Jedi who killed Count Dooku.
- Shortly afterwards in that same scene, Grievous boasts about how he was trained by Count Dooku in the Jedi Arts.
- Samuel L. Jackson had one, too. It didn't work, but you can't deny it was badass:
Mace Windu: In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic... (fires up lightsaber) you are under arrest, Chancellor Palpatine.
- In The Neverending Story, Atreyu challenging G'mork: "If we're about to die anyway, I'd rather die fighting! Come for me, G'mork! I am Atreyu!" Could also double as a Pre-Mortem One-Liner, since he kills G'mork within seconds of saying it.
- Pirates of the Caribbean:
- At World's End: "Then what shall we die for?"
- On Stranger Tides: Jack: "Oh I understand everything. Except that wig." Spectacular escape ensues.
- Equilibrium: Made even better for the fact that DuPont was attempting to break Preston's resolve by getting him to surrender as well as tell him how much he played right into his hands. However, Preston is not that easy in giving up without a fight, especially since he's suffered enough and very willing to exact revenge and instantly shows him the end of a barrel of a gun. DuPont stupidly underestimates Preston's abilities, the latter determined to destroy the corrupt, murderous system.
John Preston: No. Not without incident.
- Subverted in United 93 as the passengers psych up for the rush on the cockpit. Todd Beamer's famous, "Let's roll!" is treated as a barely noticeable throw-away.
- New Jack City: "Idolater! Your soul is required in Hell!"
- Ghostbusters: "Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!"
- "You and I have unfinished business."
- "Bitch, you don't have a future."
- Unknown (2011): "I didn't forget everything. I remember how to kill you, asshole."
- RoboCop (1987)
"Dead or alive, you're coming with me.""Your move, creep."
- Kick-Ass: It should be no surprise this has many, but probably the most famous is Hit-Girl's. Wherein she starts by inverting the normal order of things by killing the boss first, then addresses the mooks: "Okay you cunts...let's see what you can do now." *counts foes and watches to see which one makes a move first* "Eenie...meenie...minie..." *a mook goes for a weapon* "MOE!"
"Smile, you son of a -" *BOOM*
- Played and lampshaded in Pulp Fiction, by Jules Winfield who recited Ezekiel 25:17 (although an extended version) and admits he liked to do it before killing someone.
- In Soldier, one super soldier is getting ready to battle a squad of improved versions.
"There are seventeen of them. What do you plan to do?""I'm going to kill them all."
- Who dies first?
- HULK SMASH!
- "Fuck you and your gun, ya prick!"
- From the final fight with Wesker in Resident Evil: Afterlife:
Alice: I told you I'd be bringing a few friends.Wesker: *Smirking* ...You should have brought more.
- In Sahara, Al Giordino says "Hi, how ya doin'?" several times right before knocking a Mook senseless.
- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World gives us this beauty:
Scott: I dislike you.Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.Scott: What?Todd: Because... because you'll be dust on Monday.Scott: Huh?Todd: Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend.Scott: I'm sorry... what?Todd: And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?Envy: What in the hell are you talking about, Todd?
Scott: Mr. Lee! You're wanted back on stage!
- On the more eloquent side:
- Judge Dredd. During Dredd and Rico's Final Battle. Slightly subverted in that Rico ends up doing most of the ass kicking at first.
Rico: I'm the only one who never lied to you.Dredd: I'll be the judge of that.
- Threatened in Juice: "Sit yo' five-dollar ass down before I make change!"
- Fuck you, Lucky Charms.
- Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: "Target that explosion and fire."
- Star Trek Into Darkness: "Attention: John Harrison. This is Captain Hikaru Sulu of the USS Enterprise. A shuttle of highly trained officers is on its way to your location. If you do not surrender to them immediately, I will unleash the entire payload of advanced long-range torpedoes currently locked on to your location. You have two minutes to confirm your compliance. Refusal to do so will result in your obliteration. If you test me, you will fail." Sulu, no matter what ship or universe he's in, is a badass.
- "This is the end friend."
- In Serenity, Capt. Reynolds gets one
The Operative: Do you know what your sin is Mal?Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ah hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But right now, I'm gonna have to go with wrath.
- In The Avengers, the Hulk - seemingly a script-writer favorite for awesome one-liners - gets one during the climax when the large alien whale-ship-thing is bearing down on the group
Captain America: Dr. Banner? Now might be a really good time for you to get angryBruce Banner: *looking at Cap* That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry. *turns and effortlessly morphs into the Hulk in about five seconds, crushing the ship with one punch*
- In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, a bunch of mooks have Cap surrounded in an elevator, none of them knowing that he's figured out that they're about to attack him.
Captain America: Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?
- V for Vendetta: "The only thing you and I have in common is that we are both about to die".
V: My turn.
- Just after getting shot for more than ten seconds by an entire squad of fingermen wielding guns, V delivers a short one before slaughtering them all. Plus points for it being only moments after the quote above in a sort of one - liner combo.
V: [Just before killing several fingermen] Penny for the Guy?
- Really, V delivers quite a few of these.
Prothero: You... it is you!V: The ghost of Christmas Past. Cue offscreen murder of Prothero.
- And this one.
Lillimond: Oh please, have mercy!V: Oh, not tonight, Bishop... not tonight!
- And this one.
- Chow Yun-fat delivers a hilarious one-liner before offing the gay Big Bad in Full Contact: "Masturbate in Hell!"
- Inverted in Face/Off: Archer has been through so much shit and is so exasperated that he can't muster a cool one liner. "PLEASE DIE!"
- "Stop making fun of me!"
- Battle: Los Angeles: From Staff Sergeant Nantz, right before the final shootout over the drone control center:
"Marines, we make our stand here. Let those bastards know who they're fucking with."
- X2: X-Men United:
Pyro: "You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about in the news? I'm the worst one."
- "Now youse can't leave."
- From Gladiator, Maximus eloquently speaks to his troops:
Maximus: At my signal, unleash hell.
- Oblivion (2013): Jack: Fuck you, Sally. *detonates fuel cells*
- The Warriors: Ajax isn't exactly the Genius Bruiser of the gang, but he does get the best P.A.K.O.L.: "I'm gonna shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle."
- "You're gonna regret this for the rest of your life -- both seconds of it."
- Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie:
Tommy: [Grabbing a shovel pole and confronting the Ooze Men] Welcome to my nightmare.
- The Expendables:
Gunnar: What do you wear, size three? Bring it, Happy Feet!
Barney: I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna take your life.
- Also in the sequel:
- Possibly the shortest example of this trope ever in Rise of the Planet of the Apes:
- Aunt May, of all people, gets one of these in Spider-Man 2. Doctor Octopus takes her hostage, wraps her in his mechanical arms, and climbs the side of a building. He then prepares to impale Spider-Man in a sneak attack. Aunt May's not having any of it:
Aunt May: Shame on you.(Smacks Doctor Octopus with her umbrella, saving Spider-Man)
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies gives us two back-to-back when the rest of the White Council shows up to help Galadriel rescue Gandalf from the Ring Wraiths at Dol Guldur.
Saruman: Are you in need of assistance, my lady?Elrond: You all should have stayed dead.
- Kingsman: The Secret Service: "Manners" (click) "Maketh" (click) "Man" (click).
- In Oz: The Great and Powerful, right before forcing Oz into an Involuntary Dance, the Wicked Witch of the West curtsies and asks, "May I have this dance?"
- The Outsiders: "Don't you know a rumble ain't a rumble without me?"
- Furious 7: "You thought this was gonna be a street fight? You're damn right it is."
- Rocky and Mason exchange one before the final round in Rocky Balboa:
Mason: You're one crazy old man.Rocky: You'll get there.
- Skyfall: "Welcome to Scotland!"