Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: Fan Fiction
- Evangelion 303: The characters in this series deliver several ones:
Asuka (before dueling with Shinji): Stick around for lunch... I hear they are having chicken nuggets...
- Note: "Nugget": Aviator speak for noobie pilot.
- Subverted at one point in Kyon Big Damn Hero: just after Kyon delivers the line to three yakuza thugs, he gets teleported away.
"I'll respect that you're cutting to the chase; let me return the favor in kind!"
- Used in Tales of the Emperasque by God-Emperor of Mankind: "KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER, WHO ORDERED A BEATING?". Followed by Emperor curb-stomping a Chaos God and rescuing Eldar Goddess.
- Used by the Alpha Houndoom in Poké Wars: The Exigence: "THIS IS THE STRENGTH OF MY PACK!". Cue beat down.
- "My name is Blaze, and I remember everything." She says this seconds after her memories of the past two decades come crashing back to her mind, subverting an attempted mind-wipe by the Syndicate. Cue Oh, Crap from the bad guy in charge, followed by an epic beatdown.
- "We bring the fires of liberation."
- Soul Chess, anyone?
- "Bring. It. On." Lelouch says this to Aizen in the Aizen's Revenge arc.
- Lampshaded in the Harry Potter fic Make a Wish where before beating up a group of Slytherins who'd cornered Hermione, Dobby made a remark about "taking out the trash" and when questioned added that "Mr. Black says that it's important to make witty remarks before battle, unless it makes it not a surprise."
- I have to kill fast and bullets too slow.
- In the Dark World of the Pony POV Series, Rarity gives one to Fluttercruel right before their climatic fight.
"The only pony who can save you is Fluttershy...and since I can't bring her here, I'm going to send you straight to her."
- From the Calvin and Hobbes: The Series episode "Lightning Man":
The Lightning Man: OH, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM NOW?!
- In Pokémon: The Great Adventure, Silver delivers one to Mewtwo after the later petrified Ash in a fit of rage. What follows is a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown from the man, with "You Know My Name." in the background. Morality, it doesn't matter if you're the most Badass Legendary around and you just built yourself an army of cloned mooks. Never mess with a Papa Wolf.
"Mewtwo, you took my son's life. NOW, GIVE ME YOURS!"
- In Jericho, Jericho himself has a few:
"I'm going to teach you a thing or two about love!""Good for the Good God!""You’re not buying this, are you?" "Not at all." "Well, then have I deal for you!" *Hits girl in face with axe* “A fire sale for all your axing needs! Get it? Because it’s a fire axe, and it’s in your face!" :laughs: "It’s funny."“Hi, my name is Duke Elkington,” I groused, “and I’m a huge fan of cocks. You can tell from my cock-tasting spit. I’m like a chupacabra, but for dicks.”Invoked: — “I wish I had a better one-liner to quip before I killed you. Like... uh, ‘Father always told me to fight fire with fire, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.’” I laughed. “It’s funny because I set all these fires.”And again: “Ooh, ooh, ooh, I’ve got a good one! Elkington, the last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it’s still on my list."A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory."
- Many of these are from chapter 12, and so are subverted because Jericho never actually kills Duke Elkington.
- Expecto Patronum, Suckers.
Bruce: Rest assured, Thor. We will find Harry. We will find the people who took him. And Hulk will smash.
- From the same chapter:
- Kitsune no Ken: Fist of the Fox: Naruto to a gang of elitist bullies who've been harassing nearby civilians and whose leader just attempted to harm Ino: "Those of you who want to have their bones broken, come and get me." Cue flattening of gang.
- Hunting Series part 3 - Hunting and Saving.
John Winchester: "Run, Tom, you see that black car, you get in and I'll take you home in a minute." Said just before John goes on to own a nest of three vampires.
- Bringing Me To Life
Thug: Get on the ground, now !
Max: No, you want to know why ?
Thug: Fine, bitch, go on and tell me.- Response ? Cue asskicking by Max.