Podcast: Hollywood Babble On
Garmy Strong.Hollywood Babble-On
is one of the many podcasts run under the SModcast
banner, hosted by actor Ralph Garman and director Kevin Smith
The show was recorded at Smith's SModCastle theater for the first several shows before moving to the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theatre (formerly the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club) on Universal City Walk at Universal Studios Hollywood, and then the Hollywood Improv after Smith/Garman and Lovitz had a falling out.
The show focuses on Hollywood and celebrity news. Since its inception in August 2010, the show has picked up numerous suggestions and submissions from listeners to become recurring segments and motifs in the show. Segments include:
- Shout-Outs: Ralph reads emails from listeners who have travelled exceptionally long distances to attend the show.
- Garmin's Got An Email Bag (featuring Kevin's reactions): Ralph reads more emails.
- Tinseltown Stiffs: A loving tribute to those in show business who have recently passed away.
- Shit That Should Not Be: Ralph highlights a listener-submitted movie production goof that somehow made it to the final cut.
- Exquisite Acting: A listener-submitted instance of hammy acting.
- Hollywood Helper: A news story about a Hollywood actor performing an act of kindness.
- What's Kev In?: Listener-submitted pictures that Kevin has been Photoshopped into.
- HBO Headlines: News headlines.
- Segments highlighting the actions of Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, and more recently, Amanda Bynes.
- Movies That Will Suck: announcements of movies in development, that, the hosts agree, will suck.
- Geek News: More news headlines, this time focusing on news related to superheroes, sci-fi, and other geeky topics.
- How Big Is Liam Neeson's Cock?: Listener-submitted jokes about the size of Mr. Neeson's unit, as collected on http://neesoncock.com.
Since Kevin has numerous other podcasts to host, the show has had several guest hosts, including Jon Lovitz
, owner of the Podcast Theater.
You can listen to Hollywood Babble-On here
, on Stitcher Radio, or on iTunes; New episodes appear every Monday.
This show provides examples of:
- Adam Westing: In this case, quite literally, in the form of Ralph's impersonation of him.
- Audience Participation: A big part of the show. Email bag, shout outs, exquisite acting, Shit that shouldn't be, Kev-In and other segments are all sent in by the fans.
- Additionally, all the jingles are also fan-submitted, as well as a few talented fans animating certain bits that can be seen on YouTube.
- Also, the live crowd is integral to the show, answering the "How big is it?" to the Liam Neeson bit, reminding Ralph often that it's "'Fucktapes' Kim Kardashian" if he forgets her proper prefix, etc. They have remarked that often the jokes yelled by the crowd are funnier than their own. However, if you are a dumb drunken cunt/bastard yelling dumb things and ruining Ralph's flow, prepare to be mocked mercilessly for the rest of the show.
- Broken Pedestal: Kevin's fear of meeting his idol Wayne Gretzky falls under this. He's envious that Ralph not only has met his idol Adam West, but has become friends with him, but can't get past this.
- I'm Going to Hell for This: Many instances after Ralph tells an incredibly tasteless joke. Most famously, his impression of a mentally handicapped girl working at Mc Donald's, although that impression has the admonishment usually made to him by Kevin. Due to the outcry, Ralph has semi-retired "McDonald's Fry Girl" though he will bring her back when there's just something too delicious not mock with it. It should also be noted his recent taking to impersonating Sly Stallone kind of takes its place.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: A staple of the show. Mentioning a band/musician will usually get a long stream of them referring to their songs between Kevin and Ralph. Particularly awful puns are "filed" (usually yelled by the crowd "File!", or said to Ralph/Kev by the other) away, a bring over from the Kevin and Bean Radio Show (Ralph's day job). However, if the offender is proud of it, he'll tell you "fuck you, I'm keeping it."
- Man of a Thousand Voices: Ralph has an amazing array of celebrity voices he can impersonate. Favorites include Al Pacino, ArnoldSchwarzenegger, Christopher Walken and Bill Cosby, among a dozen others. Kevin generally has three: His "sexy" voice, his impression of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises and the "little German" in their German schtick (see below).
- Old Shame: A lot of this comes up in the Exquisite Acting segment. Additionally, running gags about some of Ralph's less than stellar acting roles are a regular, including Sharktopus and his very first TV role from an ABC After School Special. They will also occasionally poke fun at whatever's considered Kevin's latest stinker, Usually Jersey Girl or Cop Out.
- Running Gag: Essentially, the show is almost nothing BUT running gags from the last three years, with new ones cropping up all the time to replace retired ones. Notable ones include:
- Ralph's "Creepy Clown" impression, set to calliope music. This used to freak Kevin out. It mutated into Ralph doing various celebrities as the Clown. Semi retired. Has its own jingle.
- Lindsay Lohan. A former staple of the Hollywood News segment (her recent clean up of her act has her a subject less and less). Jokes are usually about how she's a horrible hollywood bitch stereotype, her sexual promiscuity (with the rallying cry of "Airtight!"), drug and alcohol use, and usually a joke from Kevin relating to her roles in either the Herbie remakes or Freaky Friday. Ralph does an impression of Puff Daddy saying her name to start off the bit. Has her own jingle.
- Singing a song in the style of David Bowie.
- Sly Stallone calling someone "Greedy and lazy!"
- Ralph's less than stellar acting jobs. Additionally, the fact that he didn't get a speaking line in Kevin's Red State movie.
- The Kardashians. Mostly about how they are a talentless, attention-whore family. Also that Khloe is Chewbacca. Kim has her own jingle.
- Justin Bieber. He's a little cunt. Has his own jingle.
- Amanda Bynes. Similar to Lohan above. Essentially retired after everyone realized she really is batshit insane. Has her own jingle.
- Liam Neeson's Cock. The end of every show is fan submitted jokes about the legendary member of Mr. Neeson. Has its own jingle.
- Ze Germans.
- Kevin telling a visitor from out of the country "Diplomatic Immunity!" ala Lethal Weapon 2, and Ralph admonishing him that it's the wrong country (unless they actually ARE from South Africa).
- Yelling DISAPPOINTED! (usually someone from the crowd), taken from Kevin Sorbo apparently reading the stage direction out loud during an episode of Hercules.
- Reading the Green Lantern oath in various celebrity voices. Seems to be retired for now. Has its own jingle.
- Ralph's mancrush on Adam West.
- Kevin's being "only a cock in the mouth away" from being gay.
- The John Travolta "Gay Ghost" (So weird! What? Where? Boo.)
- "Give that penis a sandwich!" based on a mishearing of something from very early in the show's history. Mostly forgotten but will still ocasssionally pop up.
- Kevin's tendency to hit "potholes" (as he call them) when discussing something and he loses track of what he was talking about. See .
- Ralph's inexplicable hatred of Chelsea Handler.
- Kevin is apparently...very animated during the David Bowie song bits. It's always a struggle for Ralph to finish the song without cracking up.
- When on the road (and during the period after they moved to The Improv and hadn't got their soundboard guy DJ James back), Kevin's inability to run a soundboard.
- And many, many more...
- Situational Sexuality: Kevin is very much a proponent of exploring latent homosexual tendencies when visiting the City of Angels. Or as he puts it "Welcome to Los Angeles! Put a dick in your mouth!"
- The Alcoholic: Ralph (he drinks Jack and Coke throughout the show) to Kevin's...
- The Stoner: So much so that he began announcing the strain of weed he smoked before the show (the bit even has its own jingle now).
- Those Wacky Nazis: A recurring gag (usually when something German related comes up) is that Kevin and Ralph begin to conversate in German accents for a bit, usually throwing in some reference to Nazis, Nazi Germany, Hitler, the Holocaust, or all of the above.
- Too Tsunami: When joking about a recent world tragedy or death, this will usually get yelled at to Ralph. Started with a joke about the Japanese tsunami right after the event.
- Unusual Euphemism: A Running Gag in the Shout Outs and Email Bag is various fans (usually male) discussing ways to get their wives/girlfriends to agree to anal sex, trying to come up with new and unusual euphemisms. Rusty Sheriff's Badge, Dirty Wagon Spoke, Ride the Minecart Through The Temple of Doom, etc.