Playing With: Your Vampires Suck
: A vampire story is written in which one or more vampires snark at the way in which they are portrayed in other fiction.
- Straight: The Vampire Chuck reads Dracula, and finds the portrayal of vampires to be humorous, and somewhat offensive. The powers Dracula is presented as having are all wrong, and he acts nothing like a REAL vampire.
- Chuck goes on a killing spree, murdering vampire authors whose portrayals of the undead he doesn’t like.
- Chuck takes the matter to the tribunals and vampire fiction ends labelled as hate speech.
- Downplayed: Chuck has a mildly amused reaction to vampire fiction, and the occasion doesn't get much mention.
- Dracula was based on Chuck’s life, and was intentionally written to smear him.
- The author was a vampire making a deliberate attempt to spread disinformation.
- Chuck loves vampire fiction, realistic or not.
- Chuck writes a vampire novel of his own.
- Chuck is deeply disturbed or impressed by just how accurate the author’s portrayal was.
- Subverted: Chuck snarks at the portrayals in Dracula, but later on it turns out he was bluffing and the author actually got a lot of it right.
- Double Subverted:
- It turns out Chuck was reading an obscure pre-publication version of the book, where the vampire stuff is really different from what ended up in the book. The previous version was "too whimsical" and hard-to-believe.
- The vampire novel that Chuck wrote was a deliberate attempt to write a realistic vampire novel.
- Zig Zagged: Chuck reads a wide variety of vampire fiction, and expresses all of the opinions above, and more.
- Averted: Chuck doesn’t read vampire fiction, or has no strong opinions on it.
- Enforced: Chuck's rant is a deliberate Take That from the writers at an upcoming dueling show featuring more traditional vampires.
- “Before we do battle, I suppose I’m obligated to tell you that crosses and garlic are all a bunch of bunk.”
- “Why do all the vampires in fiction seem to hate each other so much?”
- Invoked: Chuck’s sire, as part of his training, MAKES him read Dracula, and practice his witty snarks.
- Exploited: Chuck’s hatred of Dracula is what alerts the Hero Antagonist to his vampiric nature.
- Defied: “I will not waste my valuable time analyzing the merits of fiction with you!”
- Conversed: Vampires, ironically, spend a great deal of time bashing vampire fiction for portraying them as obsessively hating vampire fiction.
- Implied: Chuck makes an offhand remark about never going to New Orleans.
- Deconstructed: All the other vampires quickly become annoyed at Chuck’s constant bitching about bad vampire fiction.
- Reconstructed: Chuck is a Friendly Neighborhood Vampire, and his snarking at the way his own kind is portrayed endears humans to him.
- Played For Laughs: Chuck is followed around by an annoying Tagalong Kid that keeps asking him if vampire tropes are real.
Kid: Are you allergic to garlic?
Kid: Can you turn into a bat?
Kid: Are you unable to cross running water?
Kid: If someone stakes you in the heart, do you die?
Chuck: Geez, kid, wouldn't you?
- Played For Drama: Vampire's in Chuck's world are fairly harmless, and drink the blood of cattle, but vampire fiction has caused them to be rejected by humans as evil, and often murdered outright.
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