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Pinball: No Good Gofers
You're on our turf now!
Say goodbye to your balls!

No Good Gofers is a Physical Pinball Table designed by Pat Lawlor, his final table for Williams Electronics. It was illustrated by John Youssi and released in 1997.

The basis of the game involves players taking the role of a golfer for a day on the links. However, it so happens that two gophers named Bud and Buzz claim this course as their home. Feeling that their domain has been taken over, they will do just about anything to make the golfer's day pure hell. Of course, the golfer has tricks up his own sleeve so that the gophers don't successfully interfere with his day. As with Medieval Madness, Chicago's Second City comedy trope helped with the writing and voices.

Being a Pat Lawlor table, No Good Gofers shares many features from his previous tables: There's a third flipper that leads to a high-scoring jackpot shot; a set of dual inlanes leading to the lower left flipper; his standard soft-plunge skill shot; and a whirl-wheel that can alter ball direction.

No Good Gofers is available as a downloadable table for FarSight Studios' The Pinball Arcade.

This pinball machine contains examples of:

  • Adjustable Censorship: A mild example — the game's quotes can be set to "Rude" and "Very Rude". There's nothing profane, but "Very Rude" includes the more abrasive clips.
  • Alliterative Name: Played with: the game has two characters named Bud and Buzz.
  • Angry Eyebrows/Evil Eyebrows: Just look at Buzz up there.
  • Angry Fist-Shake: Featured in an animation when the player's golf ball goes through a clubhouse window.
  • Announcer Chatter
  • Anti-Frustration Features: The bumpers on the left side of the table will occasionally direct the ball(s) toward the left outlane. Thankfully, there's a kickback that will propel the ball back to the playing field, even when it's not lit.
  • Ash Face: Shooting the center ramp enough times to bring a gopher up will cause have this effect on Bud and Buzz.
  • Bonus Space: The whirl-wheel has plenty of them.
  • Brooklyn Rage: Buzz
  • Cartoon Bomb
  • Deadpan Snarker: Buzz is noticeably snarkier and nastier than Bud.
  • Dialog During Gameplay
  • Disproportionate Retribution/No Kill Like Overkill: The Cart Attack round will often show Buzz getting chased by a missile launched from a golf cart.
  • Extra Balls: Enabled after either a scheduled number of holes are completed, or as a randomized award at the end of any one completed hole.
  • Fish Eyes: Bud has 'em.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Some believe that Bud's name and stoned-out behavior is a veiled marijuana reference.
  • The Gophers Shall Taunt You
  • Harmless Electrocution: Happens to Buzz when he nibbles on the wires under the table during Short Circuit mode.
  • Jerk Ass: Buzz, full stop.
  • Lucky Charms Title: Technically, the title is "No Good Golfers", but the "L" is smashed to pieces by (one would assume) a stray ball.
  • Mad Libs Dialogue: Like Rudy in FunHouse, Buzz will address each player by a different nickname, like "hacker" or "clubfoot".
    Buzz: "Hey, (name), don't choke!"
  • Match Sequence: Bud (Or Buzz, unknown) kicks the golf ball down a field, where it lands on a yard stick. Interestingly, the ball has an odd habit of suddenly rolling away from the intended number.
  • Medium Awareness:
    • A rather subtle one comes about after completing seven holes and starting "Short Circuit":
      Bud: "I can feel the power!"
      Buzz: "That's all those wires down there!"
    • Another one comes after tilting the table:
      Bud: "Hey, this game is violent enough!"
    • After a ball drain:
      Buzz: "Hole in one! Oops, wrong hole!"
    • Buzz calls out Bud for quoting Whirlwind and Earthshaker!, as shown below.
  • Mirrored Confrontation Shot: Buzz and an angry golfer are shown facing each other on the slingshot bumpers.
  • Mythology Gag: Two exchanges with these occur when two balls drain before scoring a jackpot in multiball:
    • The first attempt (Whirlwind):
      Bud: "Now, head for the cellar!"
      Buzz: "You're in the wrong game, idiot!"
    • Second (Earthshaker!):
      Bud: "Everybody, head underground now!"
      Buzz: "Now you're really in the wrong game!"
    • Successfully starting it back up will prompt Buzz to say, "Oh, no!"
    • Spinning the wheel will cause Bud to announce "Round and round she goes!", a Shout-Out to Cyclone.
  • Nobody Calls Me Chicken: During "Pop-A-Gopher" mode, the gophers taunt the player while the "Chicken Dance" music plays.
    Buzz: "Chicken!"
    Bud: "Yea, Cluck Cluck!"
  • Painting the Medium: During "Short Circuit", while Buzz is chewing on the wires inside the game, the wheel spins erratically and the playfield lights flicker.
  • Score Multiplier
  • Screwy Squirrel: Bud and Buzz.
    Buzz: "JACKPOT! ...not!"
  • Shout-Out: It's hard not to think of Caddyshack while playing this. Especially considering you at one point use dynamite to blow up the gophers.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!/Talk To The Ball: Any time the gophers pop, especially if you miss a ramp, and they mock you. You can hit the ball at them as they taunt to quickly shut em up for a dose of literal Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Skill Shot: In addition to one that can be hit by a well-aimed plunge, there's a Hole-In-One shot located above the main playing field. This one is accessible by rolling through one of two left-side inlanes which lowers a mid-playfield ramp. The hole can be hit by the lower left flipper.
  • The Stoner: Bud gives the impression of being one, between his Fish Eyes expression, slacker voice, and occasional bouts of incoherence.
  • Stuff Blowing Up
  • Summon Backup Dancers: "Dance Party", where additional gophers appear and dance in sync with Bud and Buzz.
  • Take That Player: LOTS, constantly.
    Bud: "You hit your own cart!"
    Buzz: "You're dumber than Bud!"
  • Tap on the Head: Hitting either gopher will have this happen to them on the display.
  • Unpredictable Results: The "Player's Choice" reward. The choices are shuffled so quickly, it's nearly impossible to consistently get the same award whenever it comes about.
  • Those Two Guys/Those Two Bad Guys: Bud and Buzz.
  • Today X, Tomorrow the World!
    Buzz: "Today the golf course, tomorrow the parking lot!"
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Bud and Buzz aren't above taunting each other from time to time.
  • Warp Zone: One of the rewards jumps the player up two-to-three holes ahead.
  • Whack A Monster: Players are encouraged to pop Bud and Buzz for points and other bonuses.
  • Wheel of Decisions: The spinner doubles as this, spinning to give a random reward at certain times.
  • Wizard Mode: The Hole-In-One Challenge, which starts after every ninth completed hole.

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