open/close all foldersDue to the growing number of deities in this House, the Gods have decided to split it into the following sub-houses:
- Bladed Weapons - for Deities who specialize in weapons that have sharp edges in them (Swords, Knives, etc.)
- Blunt Weapons - for Deites who've mastered blunt weapons such as Staffs, Clubs and Hammers.
- Explosives - for Deities who specialize in explosive weapons.
- Ranged Weapons - for Deities who specialize in projectile and long-range weaponry.
- Weaponized Objects - for Deities who specialize in using relatively mundane objects such as guitars, tables, and barrels as weapons.
- Weapon Wielding - for Deities known for their style of wielding their weapons rather than the weapon itself.
- Other Weapon Tropes - for Deities with weapons (or weapon tropes) which do not fall under the aforementioned sub-houses
The Three Weapon MastersThe Guards of the House of Weapons, they keep all the deities in this house in check.
Cloud Strife, God of Swordsmanship and Patron Saint of Bifurcated Weapons (Spiky, the SOLDIER, Chocobo Head, the Buster Basher, Thunderhead, Guardian of the Lifestream (And Orphans), Blonde Zack)
- Theme: Final Fantasy VII Main Theme.
- Greater God
- Symbol: His Buster Sword
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Weapon of Choice: The Buster Sword or the Fusion Swords
- Portfolio: Anime Hair, Big Freakin' Swords, Tomatoes In The Mirror, Heroic BSODs, Heroes Prefer Swords, Mimicking His Dead War Buddy
- Domains: City, Emotion, Strength.
- Followers: Arngrim, Kliff Undersn, Mikoto Minagi, The Artwaltz Family.
- Final Fantasy: Cosmos, Warrior of Light, Kain Highwind, Tifa Lockhart, Aerith Gainsborough, Squall Leonheart, Laguna Loire, Terra Branford, Bartz Klauser, Cecil Harvey, Sora, Firion, Tidus.
- Other Allies: Shiki Tohno, Sanger Zonvolt, Siegfried Schtauffen, Asuna Kagurazaka, Chris Longfield, Fate Testarossa-Harlaown, Captain Martin Walker, Setsuna F. Seiei, Captain America, Kazuma Kenzaki/Kamen Rider Blade, Shobu Kirifuda, Yurnero the Juggernaut.
- Rivals: Link
- Enemies: Many Final Fantasy villains... especially Sephiroth.
- Only those with the largest of swords are worthy of entering his service. Guts left Cloud's service soon after the Eclipse went down and has declared war on demonkind.
- Lord Chaos' Garland persona contests Cloud's pre-eminence over swords.
- Both Goemon Ishikawa and Elric of Melnibone have struggled to unseat Cloud for years, each for their own reasons, but neither skill nor doomed blades seem to be a match for the sheer power of a Big Freakin' Sword.
- Has a friendly rivalry with Rakan, the other god of Swordsmanship. He's not entirely certain why the other guy's there, but the sparing matches are both too awesome and much too enjoyable to complain.
- Apparently, there are many, many (dashing) swordmasters aiming for his title. Fortunately for Cloud, most of them are too busy to fight him. Allen Schezar never showed up for their duel (he was last seen heading for a hotel with one of Cloud's high priestesses), Van Fanel forfeited the match and dashed off yelling that he had to "save her" (whatever that means), Link was reincarnated before their duel could start, and Samurai Jack was whisked away by a time portal five seconds into the battle. So… yeah, he hasn't really worked to keep his title so far.
- He was nearly being grounded from his home thanks to a certain Bernie Stolar thinking that his game was not going to sell because of his so-called "superior" policy of "Anti-JRPG". Cloud was eventually given the chance, kicks ass (sorta, it's complicated), and proves that he's able to soar high in popularity.
- Although, after hearing that Stolar took refuge in Saturn and messed up the Magic Knight Rayearth RPG afterwards, Cloud took pity on Hikaru, Umi and Fuu (all three fellow sword users), and treated them with a meal for consolidation.
- Was chosen by Captain Martin Walker along with Captain America and Setsuna F. Seiei for the elite force due to his skill and relatability to Walker.
- Don't ask him to mow the lawn. Just… don't.
- Is disappointed that one of his followers, Inuyasha, has fallen.
- Has been in a very good mood recently, some people know why.
- Recently footage has been found of Cloud trying to be badass and failing miserably. So far, Cloud has not commented.
- Cloud also is unamused if someone uses the word "Thunderhead" within earshot. According to him, it brings up very bad memories.
- After breaking a Smash Ball and getting a Final Smash, Cloud was discovered by Master Hand to participate in his fourth tournament. No one expected it.
- Many people questioned why Cloud never showed up in the Battle Royale, yet somehow ended up in Master Hand's tournament. Cloud doesn't really know the answer to that himself.
- Is said to have trained Yurnero, the Juggernaut of the Isles of Mask, bequeathing the secrets of his most deadly technique: The Omnislash.
- Does anyone remember that one time Cloud, in a spirited mood, said "Let's mosey"? So... well, Cloud has gone for the record to say that unlike Sora's reports or that time during the Geostigma incident, he's not always a brooding Emo.
- Has an fierce, but ultimately friendly rivalry with Link. The two have always scheduled for a battle with each other, but either one of them happened to be occupied during those moments. Wiz and Boomstick have theorized that Link would end up as the victor, but the two aren't too keen on a fight to the death. Now that Cloud joined Master Hand's tournament, the two have an open window for a fight.
Jackie Chan, God of Improvised Weaponry (Chan Kong-sang)
- Greater God (Overdeity if given a Ladder or a Bench)
- Symbol: Fist, Foot, Chair, Table, Mop, Ladder, Microwave, Kitchen Sink, Windshield Wipers, etc.
- Alignment: Neutral Good
- Weapon of Choice: Whatever is around him.
- Portfolio: Martial Arts Movie, Improvised Weapons, Hong Kong, Slapstick, Crossdressing, Losing Until He Wins
- Domains: War, Luck, Improv
- Allies: Doctor Wong Fei-Hung, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Kevin McCallister, Jade and Tohru
- Chan, like Despair of the Endless, is always having a "bad day".
- Appeared outside the House of Weapons shouting "JAAADDDEE!" which the gods initially thought meant an immortality potion. Turned out it was his niece messing with magic again. He nearly fainted when he found out his niece, and Tohru, ascended. He slightly calmed down when he learned that the two were in the Friendship House, though... then, he found out how Uncle got into the Pantheon...
- Sometimes is shown doing archeology work. When this happens he's prone to taking something from the gods, saying, "I'm sorry, I'll bring this back! Thank you!"
- A common agreement among the gods is that if Jackie can pick it up (it being anything you can think of), he can, and will—should the need arise—kick your ass with it.
- Has a friendly rivalry with Kevin McCallister, and regularly challenges to defeat his improvised and fiendishly rigged booby traps. So far, the conflict has consistently been fought to a draw.
- Despite his stance of using anything as a weapon, even he is amazed at how Deadpool can whack people to death with the HUD.
- Was freaking out over the Friendship Asylum due to Jade being a goddess there. He has convinced her for once to not be a hero because the last thing he needs is her corrupted. Tohru has agreed to keep an eye on Jade just in case. Jackie, himself, would like not to be involved with the asylum (for fear that his skills could be used for the asylum rather than against it) but if need be, he'll help bring any escapees into the GUAG Medical Division.
Vash, God of Marksmanship (Vash the Stampede, The Humanoid Typhoon, The $$60,000,000,000 Man)
- Theme Music: H.T.
- Symbol: A Silver Revolver.
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Portfolio: Improbable Marksmanship, Obfuscating Stupidity, Walking the Earth, Technical Pacifism
- Domains: Peace, Travel, Gunslinging, Destruction (although Vash has this as one of his domains, it is frowned upon), Trickery
- Followers: Train Heartnet, Kirika Yuumura, Irvine Kinneas, Riza Hawkeye, Shuichi Akai, any protagonist in a John Woo movie...ever.
- Rivals: Lucky Luke
- Allies: Rushuna Tendou, Lockon Stratos, Madlax, Hawkeye, Haruto Sohma, Yuna, Switzerland.
- The other gods were impressed with his skills after watching him shoot both wings off a fly... at 100 meters... with a single bullet... from a revolver. Vash immediately felt bad for the fly and got Lenneth to restore it.
- Within the space of a few seconds during a friendly challenge, Rushuna could have blasted the gun out of his hand three times, while he groped her five times. She didn't mind.
- Status for God of Marksmanship was briefly contested by Revolver Ocelot, though Ocelot eventually conceded the match, having gotten a better offer elsewhere.
- He gets well along with Haruto Sohma of the Toku Base as they share their appetite for donuts in the House of Food.
- Ever since Lucky Luke's ascension, Vash has found himself a rival in Lucky Luke's physics-defying trick-shots. While he retains the godhood for marksmanship, he has ceded that Luke's faster on the draw.