SubpagesPantheon
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The so-called "Treasures of the Gods" are kept in a large chamber (called, creatively enough, the Vault) several levels below the Main House. *.]] They have been collected from fictional worlds spanning time and space, and are protected on a rotating schedule by members of the House of Defense. Visitors must pass through GLaDOS's temple and enter a reinforced elevator just behind her altar to see the Treasures up close. Some gods have or can be persuaded to lend passes that in theory allow a visitor in with minimal fuss. Sometimes they even work!
The Companion Cube has been brought in here several times, but it never stays for long. Theologists believe that this is partially because everyone in the Love Pantheon loves it so much, and because some of them claim it can talk. And because Slaanesh, between bouts of apparent disinterest, has been seen eyeing it. Slaanesh is interested in just about everything, but there's just something unnerving about that want-it don't-want it attitude.
Due to its experience in this sort of work, The SCP Foundation has now officially taken over all security duties in the Vault (on most days keeping Daiki Kaito, Carmen Sandiego, Felicia Hardy, and other would-be thieves out) and handles coordination between the members from the House of Defense in the area. However, many deities find this to be a weak excuse to allow Foundation scientists to probe and study the artifacts within. Current efforts are focused on Rings and power batteries of the other lantern corps, the animated and live action Allspark and the remaining megazords.
Chekhov's Gun
- Appearance: Variable. Sometimes, it is an actual gun, usually hanging above a mantelpiece.
- Alignment: Variable.
- Portfolio: Plot Devices, Foreshadowing
- Domains: Craft, Creation, Knowledge
- Similar Artifacts: Chekhov's Gun, which has nothing to do with Chekhov's Gun or plot devices; the name sounded cool to us
- Among the most mutable treasures available in the Pantheon, Chekhov's Gun can appear as anything, to anyone, anywhere. It is unique in divine artifacts in that when it is introduced, it always gets used. Sometimes the premise where the gun is used can be utterly ridiculous, but it doesn't stop some from attempting to invoke it anyway.
- Some textbooks make the claim that this artifact was originally a firearm owned by a highly skilled mortal playwright. This firearm did exist, and gave Chekhov's Gun its name and legendary status, but it existed in a less defined state long before this.
Shakespeare's Quill (That Which Wrote it First)
- Appearance: A pure-gold Quill that never runs out of ink
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Every Trope ever
- Domains: See above
- With this Quill, Shakespeare laid down on paper all Tropes. As it was He Who Did it First, so was this quill That Which Wrote it First.
The MacGuffin
- Appearance: Variable.
- Alignment: Variable.
- Portfolio: Plot Devices, MacGuffins
- Domains: Craft, Creation, Knowledge
- It is the only device that can compete with Chekhov's Gun in terms of mutability. Some argue it is a Chekhov's Gun that has its safety on or out of ammo. Unlike Chekhov's Gun, which usually seems fairly innocuous in its first appearance, the MacGuffin is important from the start, and many other artifacts inherited its traits.
The Anvil

- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Good, depending on which trope is being used
- Portfolio: Being Dropped, not always without cause.
- Domains: Destruction, Agony, Cartoon Violence. Alternatively, Heavy-Handedness, Viewer Depreciation
- Similiar Artifacts: The Heavy Lourde, The n-Ton Weight, the Author Filibuster
- In the days of eld [sic], this object was used to create powerful weapons of steel and bronze. In recent years, a secret society of filmmakers called the Anvildroppers decided to use the anvil in a decidedly unorthodox way. The media watchdogs disapproved of this usage, and infiltrated the society, turning various members away. Eventually, The Anvildroppers split into the Orthodox Anvildroppers, and the Ethical Anvildroppers, who made anvils out of words and dropped them on viewers instead of characters. The Orthodox Anvil is a powerful weapon which can warp the laws of physics and bend reality to its will. The Ethical Anvil is an equally powerful tool, though it does mental damage and brainwashing as opposed to physical damage.
The Idiot Ball AKA the Intelligence Dampening Core
- Appearance: Once a featureless crystal ball. Later revealed to be a highly advanced technological device, created by the finest minds of a generation, pooling their best efforts together, to create the dumbest moron who ever lived.
- Alignment: Always Stupid (whether Lawful, Chaotic, Good or Evil depends on who's holding it)
- Portfolio: Malevolent Artifacts, Improbable Behavior, Contrived Stupidity
- Domains: Charm, Corruption, Mind, Entropy
- Similar Artifacts: The Hero Ball, the Villain Ball, the Conflict Ball, the Smart Ball and the Distress Ball.
- Any character who holds this orb is believed to experience a sharp and immediate drop in IQ. The effect is usually temporary, but if held on too long, it can irreparably damage a person's ability to think logically.
- Not to be confused with the Nine-ball, an alternative title of Cirno, Goddess of Idiots.
- It has since been revealed that the Idiot Ball is a living object with a personality and a name- Wheatley - who was sealed in the Vault as punishment for temporarily usurping GLaDOS' position.
- Despite multiple efforts on GLaDOS' part, it is impossible to keep him contained forever. Pretty much every god in every Pantheon has at least had a brush with the Idiot Ball. Others seem to have a death grip on him at all times.
The Omniscient Morality License
- Appearance: A contract exempting the undersigned from conventional morality so long as events unfold as they forsee, with the signatures of many of the Pantheon's deities at the bottom.
- Alignment: Varies, but is ostensibly never either Stupid or Evil.
- Portfolio: Justified Jackassery, Fate and Prophecy Tropes, Doing What's Necessary, Working In Mysterious Ways, Disgruntled Proteges
- Domains: Destiny, Fate, Oracle, Patience, Planning, Trickery
- Signed by: Dominic Deegan, Hari Seldon, Yuko Ichihara, The Five Maidens
- Out of necessity, this is one of the easiest artifacts in the Vault to access. Whenever a new deity ascends who is omniscient, manipulative, and relatively benevolent, they are brought here to sign the License.
The Reset Button
- Appearance: A bright red button labled "For Emergencies Only"
- Alignment: True Neutral by design. Undoes anything regardless of Character Development or potency.
- Portfolio: Status Quo Is God (literally), Unexplained Recovery, Joker Immunity, Time Travel, Timey Wimey Ball, Negative Continuity, Snap Back
- Domains: Anti-entropy, Static, History, Routine
- See also: The Great Will of the Macrocosm
- The holy shrine of the Reset Button is on the USS Voyager, but some have requested to move it elsewhere, since the shrinekeepers overuse the artifact.
- Rumors that the one on public display is, in fact, a relabeled "Easy Button" from Staples and that the original was either buried with Gene Roddenberry or secretly willed to Fox Animation studios remain only rumors.
- Coveted by all aspiring planners. Everyone desires the artifact, but they also hate when it is used.
Weapons
The Master Sword

- Alignment: Almost certainly Lawful Good, but has no problem working for Neutral or even Chaotic Good wielders.
- Portfolio: Sword of Plot Advancement, Sword Only The Chosen May Wield, Ancestral Weapons, Seals, Call Waiting, Infinity Plus One Swords, Swords That Shoot Beams (but only when you have full health)
- Similar Artifacts: Excalibur, The Keyblade, The Super Mushroom, The Visualizer
- Can only be wielded by Link, no matter the incarnation. Other gods keep an eye on it when Link is between reincarnations or busy growing up again. This is the oldest of the sword Treasures.
- Is slightly mischievous, and likes to move its pedestal around for kicks when nobody is looking.
- Is the only sword that has been proven to last more than a thousand blood-soaked years with no cleaning whatsoever and long periods of time spent underwater and/or exposed to the elements, and remaining as shiny and glowy as ever.
- The recent revelation that the sword actually houses a sentient spirit has sparked some debates amongst the Pantheon as to whether it should still be considered a "treasure," or if said resident spirit, Fi, should be promoted to the Pantheon proper as Goddess of Empathic Weapons, instead. Fi herself has stated no opinion on the matter, as she feels she can fulfill her duties equally well under either title.
- It is known there is an Evil Counterpart to this sword wielded by the Demon King Demise, which can take the form of a white-haired human sorcerer named Ghirahim. It is unknown whether this sword is merely lost or destroyed completely.
The Onyx Blade
- Appearance: a black claymore-sized sword with three circular red jewels in the hilt
- Alignment: Depends entirely on the wielder, but tends toward extremes of Good or Evil
- Portfolio: Huge Swords, Soul Jars, Ancestral Weapons, Canned Evil, Devouring of Souls
- Domains: Afterlife, Destruction, War
- Similar Artifacts: Nanatsusaya
- Gig was sealed in this sword prior to the adventure that led to his Heel Face Turn and resultant ascension. It's kept here partly as a threat to ensure his good behavior, with rather...limited success.
The BFG-9000
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Appearance: A. BIG. FRIGGIN'. GUN.
- Portfolio: Big Friggin' Guns, Devices Whose Awesomeness is Outweighed By Their Impracticality, Gibbing
- Domains: Destruction
- Similar Artifacts: Too many to count
- Is used as a trump card by the Doom Marine to keep the various demonic entities in check. Exactly why he doesn't keep it in his own temple has never been properly explained; perhaps he likes making the trek and seizing the gun at a dramatic moment.
Goldion Crusher
- Alignment: Probably Lawful Good...
- Appearance: A giant hammer formed with... three battleships. Approximate size: About as big as a star/sun.
- Portfolio: Hammers, Burning Spirit, Dangerous Weapons
- Similar Artifacts: Graf Eisen
- This is the treasured weapon of Guy Shishioh, used to crush planets, universes and suns. Very dangerous to use, but with infinite courage provided by him and Kamina, Guy can always pull it off just fine.
- Due to its size, it's condensed into a small black box. Only those who are truly courageous can unleash its true strength, and that person is... usually Guy.
The Arm Cannon
- Appearance: Varies, usually appears as a massive cannon somehow grafted onto the user's forearm.
- Alignment: Varies depending on the user.
- Portfolio: Large guns, Energy Weapons, Laser Beams, Making Reloading Obsolete. It may also acquire many more skills in accordance with how its wielder uses it.
- Similar Artifacts: The Power Fist. Almost all arm or hand-based weaponry not derived from the Power Fist take their cues from the Arm Cannon.
- While some other weapons in the Pantheon are only able to be wielded by a chosen few, the Arm Cannon and many similar weapons are used by a variety of characters, most famously Megatron, Samus Aran, and various incarnations of Mega Man. It is believed that the original Arm Cannon is the one housed in the vault, and the three mentioned wielders are given the privilege of using replicas designed by the Pantheon's craftsmen to fit their fighting styles.
The Sparda
- Appearance: A curved, two-handed scalene backsword with a rather disturbingly organic appearance if one looks at it closely.
- Allignment: While the Sparda itself is a force for Good, it has a habit of being taken by those of Evil heart and abused for their own aims.
- Portfolio: Plot-Important Weapons, Swords Passed Down in the Family, Artifacts of Power, Repeated Use, Infinity Plus One Swords
- The Sparda has immense demonic power, which often makes it a target for those of evil intent. Dante stashed it here after he reminded Trish, its former wielder, that she's already nearly gotten the world destroyed once thanks to carelessly bargaining it off, and that really, if she really needs it she can always pick it up from here.
- Dante and Trish deny all accusations that the Sparda looks anything like Soul Edge. Honest!
The Gravity Gun (The Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, " The Claw")
The Chainsaw ( The Great Communicator)
- Appearance: A battered, blood-splattered piece of wicked-looking machinery.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Excessive Force, Awesome, but Impractical Wargear, The Rule Of Cool, Anti-Stealth
- Domains: War, Destruction, Noise
- All chainsaw-based weapons are but echoes of this, The Chainsaw, the archetype of all roaring, whirring, bladed, death-dealers.
- Its actual appearance varies greatly, as it can assume the shape of (* deep breath* ) a chainsword, chainaxe, chainglaive, chainfist, chaingreatsword, chainkatana, chainnunchuks, sword with a radiant chainsaw aura, chainsaw hand, chainlightsaber, or a bazooka that fires rocket-propelled chainsaws. Its full potential regarding possible shapes has yet to be realized.
- Maxwell eventually agreed to put the The Chainsaw back in exchange for a Starite.
The Power Fist
- Appearance: Heavy metal gauntlet crackling with energy-automatically resizes itself to fit the prospective wearer, from unaugmental human to Humongous Mecha.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Power Fist, Rule Of Cool, Talk to the Fist, Megaton Punch
- Domains: Destruction, Wrath, Strength
- Allies: The Chainsaw
- Comes with optional chainsaw (for tank killing) and electrified claw (for coolness) attachments in its basic form.
- Has been known to appear in other forms, especially when its wearer has gone berserk. Suspected to be able to mimic the appearance of the owner's fist with unprecedented accuracy, allowing the owner to strike with much greater force than is possible otherwise (see Megaton Punch above, but not the Power Glove below).
The God Hand
- Appearance: An arm with bracers designed with skulls.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Power Fist, Rule Of Cool, Talk to the Fist, Megaton Punch, Punching Across The Room, Invulnerable Attack
- Domains: Destruction, Strength, Violence... so much violence
- Allies: Everyone of the incarnations of the Power Fist.
- After Gene's ascention, he decided, to the desbelief of the gods present, to rip off his left arm! and put it in the vault. The gods were... amazed that it was really a real arm. Orihime Inoue quickly healed the arm. When they asked why the hell did he do that, he said because one arm's enough to kick so much ass.
- Since the one wearing the God Hand is granted improbable Kung Fu abilities that rival Bruce Lee and a brief moment of Invulnerability, the Council of Shadows have tried to get their hands on one of the hands. However, there's two problems:
- It was kept in the farthest region of the House of Treasures, in which the 501st has put more security. Also, Bruce Lee and Ryu have been asked to protect it. Really bad luck for them.
- Taking the remaining hand from Gene would be suicide, since he's used with fighting gang battles, robots, demons and Eldrich Abobinations, and let's not get started when he unleashes it. Then again, Xanatos has started planning something...This won't end well.
The Masamune
- Alignment: Varies depending on who wields it
- Portfolio: Public Domain Artifacts, BFSs, Ninjas
- Domains: War
- The Masamune is the ultimate sword of Ninjas, and any who wield it will receive destructive power beyond imagination. At first it was left out in the open to be found and used by innumerable heroes, but after that loony Sephiroth nearly broke his way into Greater God-hood with it, the sword was taken from him and sealed away here.
- Has a twin sword called Muramasa, which is currently owned by Chaud Blaze and Protoman.EXE
The Elder Wand
- Alignment: Has seen all alignments, and varies depending on who currently uses it
- Portfolio: Harry Potter, Artifact of Doom
- Domains: Magic, War
- The Elder Wand is an almost unbeatable wand. Whoever holds it will be granted an incredibly augment to their magical abilities.
- The problem, however, is that to gain the wand's "allegiance", you must either kill or otherwise defeat its current master.
- Should someone die of natural causes while in possession of the wand, never having been defeated, its power will be broken. It will then become little more than a fancy piece of wood.
Dragonzord and Dragon Dagger
- Appearance: A large green dragon mecha which looks a lot like Godzilla, with it's green control dagger.
- Alignment: True Neutral, as it aligns with whomever controls the Dragon Dagger.
- Portfolio: Humongous Mecha, Unusual User Interface
- Similar Mecha/Followers: About three hundred other animal-and-vehicle shaped giant robots, almost all of which can combine with several one another and the Dragonzord into a truly staggering number of variations. Not all are sentient, but the ones that are worship Dragonzord.
- Dragonzord has been brought up from the waters near Angel Grove, and was immediately placed into the Treasures on the order of Dr. Thomas Oliver.
- Is currently in possession of the Toku Base's Grand Archivist. He has used it to battle Countdown and his Evil Twin.
A blue Koopa shell
- Appearance: A blue-colored turtle shell with wings and gratuitous spikes
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Seeking Out Only The Guy In Front, Ignoring the CPU, Evil Things That Come From Evil Turtles
- Domains: Chaos, Competition, City
- The Koopa shell is one of the more controversial artifacts stored within the treasure house. Eternal losers, such as Dan Hibiki and Glass Joe say it's necessary to maintain competitive balance against "that overpowered Mario guy". Mario, on the other hand, always shouts "Oh, no!" whenever he sees one careening his way, and the other Greater Gods, such as Kratos (and social Darwinists like Emperor Charles), decry its existence entirely, as it "discourages victory and gives unearned power to the hopelessly weak."
Laevatein
- Appearance: a twisted black staff, with the tip resembling a spear. When activated, a massive fiery sword that leaves a trail of fireballs in its wake.
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Really big swords, weapons made of fire, energy weapons
- Domains: fire, destruction
- Owners of Similar Artifacts: Signum
- Originally the weapon of the wicked Norse God Loki, the Laevatein now exists in many variations. This particular version of it, while technically a Treasure of the Gods, is in the possession of Ax Crazy Badass Adorable Extraordinaire, Flandre Scarlet. And she would like to see the person who would try to take it away from her and lock it in some vault. Those who tried are now black smears on the floor.
The Baseball Bat
The Lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker (Your Father's Lightsaber)
Kingdom Key
- Appearance: A giant skeleton key that inexplicably has a sharp edge. Can also morph into other forms with different attributes, but always maintains the basic appearance of a key.
- Alignment: Depends on the user. Usually some variation of Good, though a handful of Evil-aligned characters have been able to use it.
- Portfolio: Improbable Weaponry, Impossibly Cool Weaponry, Light
- As only Sora, Roxas and Xion are able to wield the Keyblade in its natural "Kingdom Key" state, and none of them ever gave their Keyblades to the Vault, theories abound on where this one came from. Revelations from re:coded have lead some to speculation this may not even be a real Keyblade.
Books
The Death Note
- Appearance: A black book with the words "Death Note" scratched on it
- Alignment: Lawful Evil
- Portfolio: Artifacts of Doom and Death, Murder Weapons
- Domains: Death, Hunt, Planning, The Abyss
- This note holds the names of all mortals destined to meet their death, including details on exactly when and how the victim is going to die. There are very strict rules that one must follow in order to properly use the note, but these rules are occasionally subverted by more cunning gods. One must take care not to overuse it, as excessive use of the Note can drive its user mad.
The Demonic Compendium
- Appearance: A book with varying symbols on it. Sometimes a computer, sometimes a goddess-like figure, sometimes a demonic magatama.
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Making Lots of New Friends, The Mythology Kitchen Sink, Knowledge of Creatures
- Domains: Magic, Otherness
- Similar Artifacts: The Pokedex
- Donated by Naoki Kashima upon arrival to the Pantheons, the Demonic Compendium is a comprehensive text detailing every single demon, spirit, or god to ever exist in the pantheons of Real Life. On top of that, it is also a vessel by which a properly trained summoner can call them forth as allies. This makes it quite popular reading with the Houses of Magic and Knowledge; the former likes to examine the summoning rituals and the demons themselves, while the latter likes the stories of their deeds and tribulations.
The Neverending Story
- Appearance: A thick book bound by golden silk, bearing the image of AURYN upon its cover.
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Writing Reality
- Domains: Fate, Knowledge
- Similar Artifacts: The Book of Prophecy
- This book does not reside within the chamber with the others, but is instead being constantly written by The Old Man Of Wandering Mountain. The book within the chamber is an avatar of the true book. The nature of the true book is reality itself. Everything that happens is written into the book by the Old Man, and everything that he writes into it happens. However, it cannnot be rewritten, and nothing can be changed by writing what does not happen.
- May or may not have some relation to Destiny's book.
Magic Artifacts
The Chaos Emeralds
- Appearance: Seven variably-colored, variably-shaped crystals
- Alignment: Always Chaotic. Whether they are Good or Evil depends on who's using them at the time.
- Portfolio: Mineral MacGuffins
- Domains: Chaos, Destiny
- Similar Artifacts: The Dragon Balls, the Sonichu
Balls Crystals (incredibly cheap knockoffs of both aforementioned items)
- These Emeralds take on variable forms, and have the ability to bestow super transformation upon anyone (except Tails) who holds all seven of them at one time. So far, the only gods to channel their full power have been Shadow and Sonic the Hedgehogs. No one else can get close to them, because they are always scattered to random corners of the world once every year.
- Like the Dragon Balls, there are actually multiple sets of Chaos Emeralds. The set held by the Pantheon was originally found on Angel Island. Other sets, such as the Super Emeralds, Sol Emeralds, and so on, are kept in hidden separate locations for fear of what might happen if they were all together.
Holy Materia
The One Ring
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Destructive Artifacts, Corruption of Souls
- Domains: Evil, Destruction, Corruption
- Similar Artifacts: The Necronimicon, Horcruxes, Soul Edge
- Because one cannot simply walk into Mordor, the One Ring is kept in one of the most secure vaults so neither hero nor villain can access it. Every member of the Pantheon must be present to unlock the vault, as each one only knows a single digit to the combination. It is rumored that if Sauron should ever reclaim the ring, he would gain the power to take control of the Main House.
The Crimson Behelit
- Alignment: Neutral Evil
- Appearance: An egg, covered in human facial features
- Portfolio: Blood Pacts, Despair, Demonic Transformation
- Similar Artifacts: The Jewel of Four Souls
- Guts turned this artifact over to the Pantheon on his ascension, informing them that if used properly, it could instantly raise an evil mortal into godhood. It's hard to tell if this has happened before, but it is known that the behelit only works when the holder is at their emotional nadir - that is, the behelit takes a mortal at the lowest point in his or her life and gives them enough power to inflict misery on everyone else. It's also hard to tell if the behelit is unique. Gods who are concerned about this are making an increased effort to keep their followers happy, or at least content.
The Love Berry Rod (Ucha, R2003)
- Alignment: Lawful Good (really Lawful Neutral)
- Appearance: A plasticy magic wand with strawberries and bunnies on it; a talking strawberry robot with the head and limbs of a rabbit
- Portfolio: Magic Wands, Belongings of Canon Sues, Weapons that Turn Into Weasel Mascots
- Similar Artifacts: We have no idea.
- This... thing was confiscated from Berii when she was thrown from grace in hopes that it would handicap her inevitable attempt to hold another hostile takeover. It is kept in a soundproof box in the corner of the treasure room, as everybody who walked by got tired of it snarking at them.
The Dominion Jewel
- Appearance: A faceted purple gem, palm sized. On Earth, it would be enshrined in a museum and marveled over; in the Pantheon, where perfect egg-sized jewels are easily obtained, it doesn't look like much.
- Alignment: True Neutral.
- Portfolio: MacGuffins, Oddly Colored Stones which Do Unspecified Things
- The Dominion Jewel can only be used by one with "the heart of a king", which is a bit of a puzzler. It doesn't always work with leaders, natural or otherwise. It tends to ignore whether or not someone has royal blood. Determination seems to be a factor. The fact that it is so picky about its users means that most gods and visitors to the Pantheon aren't particularly interested.
- In the right hands, it can do many things. It has been used to call schools of fish and flocks of birds and caravans of merchants to a seaport city. It's been used to restrain an earthquake. It also allows a user to command plant life with great dexterity. Mostly, however, it seems to significantly boost the power of its wielder.
- The downside is that when it is used, the things - gods, mortals, animals, plants - around it go sterile, and for a wider radius the more magic is spent. The sterility does wear off after a year or so, but in a feudal society this is the kiss of death.
The Jewels of Harmony

- Alignment: Lawful Good
- Portfolio: The Power of Friendship, rainbows, magical jewelry
- Domains: Friendship, Rainbows, Magic
- Princess Celestia moved the Jewels of Harmony here once every one of their Bearers was deified in hopes that the heavy security in the Pantheon might prevent another Discord fiasco.
- The Elements of Harmony can only be activated by having all of their 6 bearers (Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy) together, and united in friendship, otherwise they will fizzle.
- The Elements of Harmony have in the past demonstrated the power to topple beings of Godlike power, therefore needless to say the security on them is pretty high. It would have been even higher, but thankfully it is unlikely villains would be able to use them for ill intent. For the Grand United Alliance of Good, the Elements are an ace in the hole, potentially presenting a threat to even Melkor himself!
- The Jewels are merely the conduit for the power. The Elements themselves are within their pony Bearers.
- The Elements were used once to remove Discord from the pantheon. Afterwards, Applejack stepped down, though she can still be called in once more.
The Pure Hearts
Vehicles
The TARDIS
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Time Travel Devices, Bigger on the Inside
- Domains: Space, Time, Travel
- Similar Artifacts: the DeLorean, The Denliners
- There are many time travel devices known as TARDIS, but there is a common conception that there is only one of the TARDIS, which is used by the Doctor himself, in all of his incarnations. The devices are only operable by recognized Time Lords, and they allow the user to visit any time period (within reasonable limits) by programming its destination.
The 1967 Chevy Impala (The Metallicar)
- Appearance: A sleek, black muscle car.
- Alignment: Chaotic Good, Chaotic Awesome
- Portfolio: Cool Car, Companion Cube, I Call It Baby, Bigger on the Inside (her trunk)
- Domains: Transportation, Loyalty, Friendship, Love
- Similar Artifacts: KITT, The Duke Boy's Charger, B. A.'s Van, Angel's black Plymouth, the Aston Martin DB-5 (with modifications), a white Lotus Esprit, Aston Martin V-12 Vanquish.
- When the Impala was hit by a semi at the end of the first season of Supernatural, more fans were concerned for her welfare than that of the main characters she was transporting.
- The Impala has a rather large arsenal in her trunk.
- It was moved to the House of Treasures after the Mythbusters attempted to strap a number of rocket engines onto it to see if they could make it fly.
Oliver the Opel
- Appearance: Small, boxy pale-yellow two-door sedan
- Portfolio: Vehicle and Driving Tropes
- Domains: Travel, Anthropomorphism
- Clarkson has not yet placed the Opel Kadett A in the far lower corner of the "Not Cool" side of the Cool Wall. Either way, the model, like all Opels is naturally cooler than its' Vauxhall equivalent.
- Not under any circumstances to be confused with Oliver Oken, who is not, technically, a car.
The SSV Normandy
- Appearance: Sleek and aggressive-looking Systems Alliance frigate with black and white paint job
- Portfolio: Cool Starships, Stealth In Space
- Domains: Travel, Protection, Celerity, Portal
- Similar Vehicles: the Enterprise, the Yamato, the Bebop, the Super Galaxy Dai-Gurren Lagann, La Muse, the Millennium Falcon and the Imperial Missile Boat, Serenity, all R-9 model fighters, the Halberd, the Gekko, the Nadesico
- Currently on loan from the House of Travel for gods incapable of unassisted interstellar space flight, and boasts sophisticated stealth technology for discrete interventions.
- Recently had an In
com Gbk-series hyperdrive installed courtesy of a donation from the Jedi Order, since there isn't any active mass relays within range of its present storage site, expanding its range of travel exponentially.
Sweet Tooth
- Appearance: An ice cream truck with a flaming clown's head in place of a loudspeaker
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Evil Ice Cream Trucks, Vehicular Combat, Monster Clowns, Vehicles That Run On Pure Nightmare Fuel
- Domains: Destruction, Night, Fear
- Its distorted jingle is known to send chills throughout the air wherever it drives. Its driver is even more scary. Don't ask him for ice cream...you won't live long enough to regret it. He hates children...he especially hates children.
- Just for the record, Sweet Tooth is the truck, not the name of the guy driving it. That guy's name is Needles Kane.... whose serial killer name is "Sweet Tooth".
- Is capable of transforming into what Optimus Prime describes as a mockery of Cybertronian technology. Mr. Kane has used it to silence Optimus on numerous occasions.
A Baneblade
- Appearance: Gargantuan tank with eleven separate weapon systems
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
- Portfolio: Tank Goodness, More Dakka
- Domains: Destruction, Law, Machine
- One Mars-pattern Baneblade super-heavy tank of the Imperial Guard, taken from Vance Stubb's personal stock for when gods need to make an entrance.
An MS-06 Zaku II Mobile Suit
- Appearance: A roughly 55-foot tall suit of battle armor with asymmetrical shoulder plating
- Alignment: True Neutral (though its users run the gamut on alignments)
- Portfolio: Real Robots, Mass-Produced Machines, Mecha-Mooks
- Domains: Machine, Army, War
- Many of the suits that have come from this design were piloted by mostly inexperienced pilots, save one, who painted his red to stand out.
The Kickboat
Miscellaneous
A Large Chunk of Kryptonite
The Green Lantern Ring and Central Power Battery
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral (Good tendencies)
- Appearance: A green ring
- Portfolio: Flexibility of Abilities, Stringent Rules, The Inverse Law of Utility and Lethality
- Similar Artifacts: The Death Note, Various super-powers, the other six emotion/color Rings
- Serves as the antithesis to both the One Ring and Kryptonite, due to its benevolent nature and its lack of randomness, respectively. The Green Lantern Ring is kept in an emergency box next to the vault holding the One Ring in case somebody is foolish enough to wear it.
- It can only be used by someone with great willpower who can overcome great fear. This is just as well, as on the hand of a user it is only limited by his or her imagination.
The Super Mushroom
The Visualizer
The World Heavyweight Championship
- Appearance: A big gold belt
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Tournaments, Being the Best
- Similar Artifacts: The MacGuffin
- Domains: Competition, Glory, Corruption
- Forged by Ric Flair in the fires of Parts Unknown, the World Heavyweight Championship Belt is the symbol of excellence in battle. The person who holds it, whether he won it by hook or by crook, has the right to call himself the greatest fighter in the world. However, it inspires in its owner a possessive mania, gradually crowding out other goals and ideals until continuing to hold it becomes one's only motivation. Once it has taken root in its owner's mind, its owner will stoop to any low to keep it. Only the strongest-willed (and/or most popular) can resist its siren song and remain good and upstanding while holding it.
Index Librorum Prohibitorum (Dedicatus545 — The Lamb is Devoted to Protecting the Wisdom of the Strongest)
- Appearance: A light-blue-haired girl in a nun habit
- Alignment: Lawful Good
- Portfolio: MacGuffin Girls, Human Knowledge Stores, Making Everything Better
- Domains: Knowledge, Magic
- Followers: Shiori Momono (11eyes)
- The first (and so far only) humanoid to make her home within the Treasures of the Gods. She has been allowed to stay on the condition that she doesn't touch anything else in the temple, especially the Demonic Compendium.
- Just as her name suggests, Index contains an entire printing press' worth of magical lore in her brain. For her own protection, she has made her home in the House of Treasures, kept far away from shady types like Brainiac who seek to unlock the spells within for ill intent.
- A frequent visitor to the House of Food, she has been known to eat entire kitchens full of food, as she does not have to rely on Touma to feed her anymore.
Sari's Key
- Appearance: A white key that has the ability to heal autobots
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
- Portfolio: Healing Items
- Domains: Healing, Useful Items
- Similar Artifacts: The Matrix, The Allspark
- Was originally in the form of a swiping card.
The Power Glove
Alucard's Cape
- Appearance: A kickass black cape with a glowing, red turnover.
- Alignment: Neutral to Chaotic Good.
- Portfolio: Castlevania, Badass Longcoats (Well, actually, capes)
- Domains: Craft, Magic
- Alucard's cape bestows a hefty bonus on most stats and looks awesome to boot. When Alucard retired from looking like his father, Dracula, and took on the government agent persona Genya Arikado, he abandoned his old look. Now he only rarely comes in to the vault to pick up his old cape to play around for old times sake.
Money in the Bank
- Appearance: An aluminum Halliburton briefcase.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Showdown at High Noon, This Is Something He's Got To Do Himself, You Kill It, You Bought It
- Similar Artifacts: The World Heavyweight Championship, Chekhov's Gun
- Domains: Competition, Chaos
- The bearer of Money in the Bank may "cash in" at any time of his or her choosing, using it to challenge any god to one-on-one combat at any time, and the god must accept, regardless of his current physical condition, lest they forfeit the battle and suffer the consequences. If the Money in the Bank-bearer is then victorious, they themself becomes a god of the same level as the god that was defeated, with portfolio and powers appropriate to their own personality, and the defeated god becomes a mortal. Regardless of the outcome of the battle, Money in the Bank disappears, and cannot be found until March of the next year. Each year, the gods attempt to find and capture Money in the Bank before a mortal can discover it, and secure it in their treasure chamber.
- The briefcase has now split into two and usually appears in July, vanishing if not cashed in by March.
Glass Joe's Headgear
- Appearance: A padded head harness, colored red
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
- Portfolio: Sudden Competence, Immune to Fists, Patronizing Assistance
- Domains: War, Protection
- When Glass Joe ascended, he placed his headgear in the vault and hung up his gloves, content in the knowledge he could never win. Wizardmon believes he managed to reroute the headgear from the vault into his own hands... but what he got was a weaker, green copy modeled after the true headgear, one of many given to those who just plain suck. He hasn't gotten the joke yet.
The Starites
An L-Block
- Appearance: Four small squares that form the shape of the letter "L" (or "J", when flipped over)
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Building Blocks, Inanimate Objects, Dark Horse Victors
- Domains: City, Creation, Destruction
- Is believed to have been a refugee from the old Soviet bloc (no pun intended), due to it always disappearing whenever there were improvements to be made on the Kremlin.
- The letter "I" is its greatest enemy.
- Is shaped like a boot to kick your ass.
Ye Flask
- Appearance: A monochrome Florence flask
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Supposedly Unobtainable Items, MacGuffins
- Domains: Water
- No one knows how ye flask initially appeared in yon treasure room. Attempts by all (including Thy Dungeonman) to retrieve it had proven quite difficult. Rumor has it that the reason nobody can get ye flask in the first place is because ye flask is actually a load-bearing flask, and its removal would spell the complete destruction of the temple.
Delicious Fruit
The Bat Credit Card
(Additional) Protoss Pylons
Maximum Security
The Games of Divinity
- Appearance: Unknown. The Games are the most heavily restricted Artifact in the Vault, so very few have ever seen them, and those who have aren't talking.
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Addictions That Incapacitate Even The Gods, Euphoria, Games For Which Wars Have Been Fought (Or Have They?), Negligence and Abuse
- Domains: Charm, Competition, Dream, Madness, Pleasure, Trickery
- One of the terms for the Celestial Incarnae's entry into the Pantheon was their rehabilitation from the Games and the confinement of the Games in the most secure corner of the Vault, where no one,
even especially those who knew them best, could access them. One might wonder: who demanded these terms, the Pantheon or the Incarnae? The answer: both.
- Despite their complete lack of any offensive application whatsoever, they are recognized by the SCP as the single greatest threat to the Pantheon in the Vault. Accordingly, no deity, under any circumstances, is permitted direct access to the Games, for fear of causing them to forever abandon their responsibilities in favor of the euphoria offered by playing the Games.
SCP-682
The Matrix
- Appearance: An Orange container with a shiny blue crystal inside and two handles, and absolutely not the machine that controls us all. Or a Toyota station wagon, for that matter.
- Alignment: Lawful Good
- Portfolio:
- Domains: Good, Creation, Destruction, Knowledge
- Similar Artifacts: the Allspark, Sari's Key (listed above), which taps into its limitless power
- This device is kept on hand in case Unicron turns his attention to the pantheons.
- Has the ability to summon Stan Bush to sing "You Got The Touch" whenever opened.
- Primus had this shipped secretly out of its usual spot in the depths of his body. It's just safer here- still in his body (as with the rest of the Pantheon), but with much better safeguards. True, fewer beings would have had any access to it if he'd kept it in the Main House, but he doesn't trust some of the deities there.
The Omnitrix
- Appearance: A watch with the Plumbers' symbol on the face.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Clingy MacGuffin, Transformation Trinket, Green Lantern Ring
- Domains: Chaos, Nature
- The Omnitrix can store data on as many as 10,000 different species and allows the wearer to transform into any of them. Well, sometimes. It's kind of fickle like that.
- In the right hands, it can be a useful tool to provide shapeshifting power. In the wrong hands, it can destroy the entire universe.
The Four Crystals
- Appearance: four tetragonal crystals (one blue, one red, one yellow, one green)
- Alignment: varies based on user and crystal, but usually some variant of Good
- Portfolio: Elemental Powers, Unimaginable power that doesn't help you nearly as much as it should, Cosmic Keystones
- Domains: Balance, Magic. Heroism, and Water, Fire, Earth, and Wind (respectively)
- There are actually several more crystals out there belonging to other worlds, but, like the Chaos Emeralds, the Gods fear what might happen if all were placed together. The rest are all back on their homeworlds in isolated chambers guarded by hordes of monsters and various semimagical kingdoms. It should also be noted that the Good-inclined gods would rather not take what may as well be the core of the world, and cause planets to topple like a house of cards.
- This particular set was donated by Rydia, whose world (if you count the moon) had three extra sets, and so could afford missing a Cosmic Keystone or four.
- Depositing a set of four of these babies onto a planet more or less instantly terraforms it, giving it fertile soil, ample water, breathable atmosphere, and a temperature in the range of comfort for earthlike creatures. This has the dual side effect of creating an ecosystem with a really obvious weak point, and of providing an endless source of magical power that is easily abused.
- Kept in high security because their presence is all that's keeping the body of Primus livable for the organics that comprise most of the Pantheon; anywhere else and the risk of a machine uprising by removal would be nigh-inevitable.
The King in Yellow
- Appearance: A book with all yellow pages in it
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Evil Books, The Motif of Harmful Sensation, Fictional Plays, Nightmare Fuel, Mind Screwy Nonsense
- Domains: Chaos, Madness, Mentalism, Tyranny
- Similar Artifacts: the Necronomicon, Beethoven's "Immortal Beloved"
- Not a single mortal who has read this play has been able to understand what the hell is going on. Yomiko and Miyuki are working overtime attempting to decipher it, with Yuuno on standby with healing magic, just in case.
- The Theater pantheon once attempted a performance of this. Long story short, the lead actor is now known as The Joker.
- Luckily for all lesser gods, Shakespeare put a lock on the book, and only those sufficiently able to withstand its incredible aura of nonsense can open it. Not known if anyone from Alice in Wonderland would cause a world-nuking aura from the combined nonsensical power if placed in the immediate vicinity. Excluding Alice and sometimes Mary Ann in a few adaptations, of course.
The Katamaris
- Appearance: A number of colorful balls covered in knobs
- Alignment: True Neutral (can be used for great good or great evil, depending on the user)
- Portfolio: Stars, Connections, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Stickiness, Accumulation, Creation and Destruction, Making Reality Easily Confused with a Drug Trip
- Domains: Creation, Destruction, Madness, Sun
- Utterly indestructible. Items attached can be knocked off, but a katamari itself cannot be singed by the fires of the sun, crushed by a black hole, or blown away by the Big Bang itself.
- Have amazing powers of attachment - anything of sufficently lower mass that it touches one will adhere to its surface, and the surface of that object then takes on the katamari's adhesive properties.
- At the core of every star and every planet lies a katamari, covered with debris and transformed by the magic of the King of All Cosmos.
- Between their stickiness and indestructibility, they must be kept in the highest of high-security areas, as they has the potential to reduce a planet to an empty ball with nothing but perfectly smooth rock covered with empty water- and potentially even begin assimilating worlds into their bulk. The damage they could do in the wrong hands is literally inconceivable in scope, and potentially world or even universe ending. As such, the King of All Cosmos has moved his supply of Katamaris here to prevent one of them from falling into the wrong hands.
The Fatestones
- Appearance: 9 gems and a shapeshifting sword
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Elemental Powers, Cosmic Keystone
- Domain: Light, Life, Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, Energy, Illusion, Necromancy, Darkness
- Stones created by Elore, given to Mirsa to seal away Saruin, the God of Destruction, during the second war of the gods in Mardias. They have often been used in shaping Mardias' history. One who bears a fatestone is protected from the opposite element of it. Many events in Mardias' history after the first war of the gods to Saruin's awakening resulted from humans use of the Fatestones. Elore gave them to the Foundation after Saruin was defeated by warriors who passed his trials.
The Destiny Plume
- Appearance: A white feather
- Alignment: Neutral Evil (True Neutral before being cursed)
- Portfolio: Deadly Upgrades, Magic Feathers
- Domains: Strength, Wrath, Death
- This is a feather plucked from the cap of Lenneth Valkyrie, but cursed by Hel, queen of the Underworld. Its wielder may imbue a close companion with its power, granting them the strength of ten men. The effect is only temporary, and the target's soul is claimed by Hel once its effects have worn off, killing the target for good.
The FATAL Sourcebook (First Edition)
- Appearance: an uncommonly large PDF file with stock porn images
- Alignment: Neutral Evil
- Portfolio: Offensiveness, Too Much Information, Loads and Loads of Rules, Gratuitous Rape, Honest Rolls, Fantastic Racism, Casual (ISO Standard) Racism, Misogyny, Questionable Claims of Realism and Accuracy
- Domains: Corruption, Charm, Domination, Evil, Lust
- While the contents of the sourcebook purport to be harmless entertainment, the reality is far, far more disturbing. Most of the male deities are turned off by the incomprehensible and oftentimes contradictory rules, while almost all of the female deities won't even go near the book based solely on its opinions on and treatment of women (most of all Miaka, whose abilities depend on avoiding many of the acts talked about within.
A Standard Template Construct
- Appearance: A surprisingly small personal computer
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
- Portfolio: MacGuffin, Lost Technology, Applied Phlebotinum, Magical Computer
- Domains: Law, Machine, Creation
- One of the most sacred relics in the Imperium of Man, the Standard Template Construct is a device of extraordinary power and danger, even by the Pantheon's standards. Housing the sum total of mankind's technological knowledge, one need simply ask the computer how to do or how to built something to do any conceivable function, and the STC will in moments print out exact instructions using locally available materials and techniques.
- The God-Emperor alone may authorize a deity to access the Standard Template Construct, and to date, he has never exercised this privilege.
The Chaos Heart
- Alignment: Omnicidal
- Portfolio: Artifact of Doom, The Power of the Void
- The dealiest artifact in all universes, the Chaos Heart is activated by a forced marriage between a powerful king and a pure princess. Once activated, it unleashes the Void, which proceeds to consume all universes and leave absolutely nothing.
- No relation to the Chaos Emeralds above.
Discord's Statue
- Alignment: VERY Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Evil entities of godlike power sealed inside stone
- Discord used to hold a title in the house of Heroes And Villains, but his massive power level associated to a tendency to wreak chaos led to his replacement and yet another petrification by means of the Elements of Harmony.
- It was demonstrated that even one fight in his surroundings is enough to grant him the power to break out of a weakened prison. Even though the current Elements of Harmony are strong, he's still kept in the Maximum Security section because the more Chaos-heavy members of the Grand United Alliance of Evil would love to release him and everyone is pretty sure they'll have more effective ways than just bickering in front of him.
The Anti-Life Equation
- Appearance: Is not a physical object, but an equation. It's kept written down on a piece of paper in the vault.
- Alignment: Neutral Evil
- Portfolio: Brown Note, The Virus, Mind Control, Assimilation Plot, The Evils of Free Will
- This equation is the mathematical method of taking over the wills of sentient beings. It is said to be the mathematical proof of the futility of life.
- The equation can be spread through all forms of electronic media.
- The equation can not be used for good, as it is against its very nature to use it for that purpose.
The Wailing Dark
- Appearance: A large blade with a brown sheath that has the resemblance of a Katana.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral due to it's power
- Portfolio: Impossibly Huge Sword, Size Shifter, Wave Motion Sword, Planet Stabber.
- This is a weapon that came with Asura upon his ascension. Depite being a weapon, it's sheer Size (380,000 KILOMETERS) and power (said length making it strong enough to stab through the planet earth itself), it was decided by the GUAG that it should be put into Maximum Security just to make sure no one else can learn how to make it extend to that size.
- Due to the fact that it's former owner Augus has not ascended (as of now), Asura made sure that it is in Maximum Security at all times, and he made sure that trust worthy swordmaster deities wouldn't let anyone take it from where it is sealed.
- Augus has recently ascended to the Combat Pantheon. Since he doesn't draw Wailing Dark in battle often, he lets Asura keep it in the Maximum Security vault. He does use it on some occasions, such as when he impaled Gilgamesh through the head with it because he was annoying.
Li'l Cal (That Fucking Puppet, Ohdeargodswhywouldyoueven, NONONONONONO, The Juju)
- Appearance: A ventriloquist's puppet of decidedly uncanny appearance, dressed in either a blue-and-white "gangsta" outfit, purple pajamas, or a green tuxedo.
- Alignment: Terrifying Evil
- Portfolio: Demonic Dummies, Creepy Dolls, Perverse Puppets, Nightmare Fuel, Very Bad End
- Domains: Corruption, Death, Fear, Madness
- Similar Artifacts: More than we really want to think about...
- It has been said that Li'l Cal exists only to turn the lives of every being occupying the same universe as him into a living nightmare. While this has not been proven, he has played an integral role in enough multiverse-wrecking shit to lend a certain amount of credence to the theory.
- That's not the reason he's in Maximum Security, though. The real reason is that he scares the shit out of every single member of the Pantheon.
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