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Pantheon: Theater Lesser Gods
Caleb Goldman, God of Hilariously Bad Voice Acting
  • Lesser God
  • Alignment: Lawful Evil
  • Portfolio: Narm, Large Ham, Bad Bad Acting, Creepy Monotone, Stylistic Suck
  • Symbol: A zombie coming to eat your face.
  • Followers: everyone from Resident Evil, Dracula from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Dr. Light from Mega Man 8, and everyone else from The House of the Dead.
  • Allies: Albert Wesker, GI Guy
  • Enemies: Dogs of the AMS, Isaac Washington, Jill Valentine
  • He wishes to be referred to as: Owah new rul-ah, the umper-roar!
  • It's commonly believed that his massive Venice zombie invasion in 2000 failed because his zombies misheard his order to 'rule over mankind' as 'rule older an kind', and thus mistakenly spent most of their time devouring the elderly.
  • Was once a follower of GI Guy, who wasn't too glad that Goldman ascended. GI Guy is trying his best to stay away from him due to his zombie incident.
  • He spends much of his time staring at the House of Nature. He's very concerned about protecting the sanctity of the "loyfe cycle".
  • Nobody can tell wether he's laughing or trying to cough up a grape that got stuck in his throat.
  • Stephen Colbert once approached him and accused him of stealing his look. Goldman unclasped his hands, stood up from his desk, and declared to Stephen: "This is thuh fuinal bad-uhl!"
  • Decided at one point that 'darn it, I want to be taken seriously', and began a rigorous voice training regiment. When his series' fourth game came out, Goldman gave his role his all, and to everyone's shock the result was actually quite intimidating. Unfortunately, the stigma remains, much to Goldman's chagrin.
  • Has suspected that he became the being known as "The World."

Christopher Walken, God of Creepy Villains and Patron Saint of Bad Movies

CuteFuzzyWeasel, God of Cannibal Trolls
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A burning pizza box
  • Alignment: Neutral Good
  • Portfolio: Going after other trolls and making jokes at their expense, Supporting gays and 'human rights', having unsettling moments at times, possibly being a robot, a tenuous grip on his sanity.
  • High Priest: Nasuman, his earthly editor
  • Allies: Certain Good-aligned deities in the House of Faith, Oyashiro-Sama, the Lol Rangers
  • Enemies: Trollkaiger and other trolls in the pantheon
  • Opposes: Judge Frollo, Ultima & The Lucavi, YHVH, various trolls
  • His ascension began one day when he, being depressed and having had a bad day, decided to do a normally foolish action; feeding a troll and making a video of himself doing it. This gained him followers and eventually secured his position as the god of Cannibal Trolls.
    • With the God of Cannibal Trolls being an odd position, at first, people weren't sure on where to put him. In the end, however, it was decided to put him into the house of Theater, as his primary goal is to entertain people and due to his followers helping him find trolls to feed.
  • Has made regular trips to the house of Technology, with the intent of making sure he doesn't have a repeat of the BSOD Saga. Its occurrence cost him many followers and the stress from it and other things happening actually made him physically ill.
  • Was surprised to find out that there was an organized team of trolls in the pantheon, much less two of them. Granted, he has no problems with the Lol Rangers, even being a friend of theirs, but Trollkaiger remains high on his list, due to being actively malicious trolls. Since his most notable trolling group he has taken on has been the Call of Duty Enlightenment Army, it'll be... interesting to see how things turn out.
  • Has implied and, at one point, outright stated that he was an android from the future and possibly working with evil robots. Whether as some sort of weird Terminator, a double-agent spy... or just something he's saying to screw with people, people are a little bit wary.
  • Nasuman took up the role of High Priest after an incident where he tried to take Weasel's place. He even went so far as to say he was the real power behind the God of Cannibal Trolls and that Weasel was a 'stain'... until he noticed Weasel behind him, looking rather annoyed. And with an armed gun. Due to his position as an editor, though, he managed to get off easy.
  • Has also made rants on several radical conservatives like James the Preacher and Caiden Cowger, which he has termed 'Right-wing Trolls'. These videos have gained him a few allies in the House of Faith... as well as a few enemies.
    • Most notably in the House of Faith, he has gained an ally in Oyashiro-sama, mainly because of how her religion has been corrupted and twisted. The various right-wing trolls he's done have done something similar to their religions, although not to the same extent, and Weasel's sympathy to her plight helped earn her friendship.
      • By the same token, he despises Frollo, Ultima and the Lucavi, and YHVH. Frollo due to reminding him FAR too much of James the Preacher, Ultima due to their twisting of a religion and redirection of hate to people who don't deserve it, and YHVH because... it's YHVH. Weasel has speculated that James probably actually worships him, given his attitude.
    • Being an acquaintance of The Devil back in his native universe, one would think that he would get along with Lucifer. While Weasel doesn't per-say dislike the Great Darkness, and certainly supports Lucifer's stance on humanism, he is quick to point out that the Morning Star is his OWN brand of crazy: having no issue stepping on anyone or committing any atrocity to further his agenda. As such, Weasel doesn't want to declare himself really allied with him. That being said, he is considering feeding both at some point: just as soon as he can pay off that indestructible bunker.
  • No mention is to be made of him having turned Super Saiyan. Vegeta would probably either have an aneurysm from the fact that a human gained that power or, less likely, challenge him to a fight. And Weasel isn't exactly interested in fighting a guy who can blow up planets.
  • Has wondered why Dethklok doesn't have a planet to use as their temple. Knowing Dethklok, however, they're probably going to get one somehow, now that he's mentioned it.
    • He had a good laugh about a self-proclaimed God of Rap with Eminem, the ACTUAL God of Rap.
  • Whenever he's in a lull of videos, wants to keep the heat off of him, or just blow off some steam, he usually feeds one of the Disgraces. Given the ease of feeding them and the lack of risk regarding them blowing up his temple in a rage, he considers them easy, risk-free targets to take on every so often. He hasn't fed targets like Berri or Scrappy, however, due to his own rules regarding wanting to avoid feeding people who are 14 and younger.
  • Was VERY surprised to to meet an actual evil tree in the form of Exdeath.
  • Has only ever rejected one troll by name of Captain Crazification. Reason being is not only his insensitive video regarding a real-life person's suicide due to depression but the sheer amount of pestering he did to try and get the video out. End the end, Weasel decided that they weren't worth it. He would have done nothing else, had someone not found a way to make him feed Peckcella von Peter. Trollkaiger's involvement is suspected, although unconfirmed.

Dolph Ziggler, God of Selling (Ziggles, Nicky, Nick Nemeth)

Fat Mario, God of Off Model

Gay Luigi, God of Mondegreen

George Carlin, God of Black Comedy and Patron Saint of the Seven Dirty Words (That Old Fuck, Mr. Conductor, Rufus)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A microphone with seven particular words encircling it
  • Alignment: Neutral Good, but loves playing as Chaotic Evil for the audiences
  • Portfolio: Acceptable Targets, Knowing How Far to Push a Joke, Swearing, Age-induced cynicism, Nice People Who Play Mean Characters, Enjoying Suffering, Refuge in Audacity
  • Domains: Dark Comedy, Swearing, Ranting
  • Followers: Many, many mortal comedians.
  • Upon ascending and having it explained to him what it meant, he proceeded to launch into a twenty-five minute long rant about how ridiculous the idea was that now he's the invisible man people pray to, what the hell sort of universe is this, although if it's for real, now that he's a god he can have fun playing with the mortals, especially the ones who were assholes to him while he was alive on earth. He concluded by saying "fuck the pantheon, fuck the gods...and fuck everyone now that I think of it!"
  • He still performs his famous routines on-stage every week for packed audiences. When it was once asked how he can continue to mock religion now that he himself is a god, he replied "You're just gonna have to figure that shit out on your own". He's eagerly waiting for the final battle between good and evil, as he think it's funny when a lot of people die — now a lot of gods dying, that's hilarious.
  • Is actually a very nice and gentle man, and is happy to receive visitors and chat with them when he isn't on stage.

Iago, God of Manipulative Wordplay, Ambiguous Foe Yay, Jealousy, Magnificent Bastardry, Casual Racism and Misogyny, and Unspecified Motives (Honest Iago)

Jar Jar Binks God of Plucky Comic Relief

King Harkinian, God of CDi and Youtube Poop (The King)

King K. Rool, God of Punny Names (Kaptain K. Rool, Baron K. Roolenstein, King Krusha K. Rool)
  • Theme song: "Gangplank Galleon"
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A crocodile head with bloodshot eyes and a crown.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Portfolio: Themed Names for Mooks, Evil Overlords, Large Hams, Puns About Names (some more clever than others), Evil Reptiles, Assuming Multiple Alises And Titles, The Letter "K"
  • Domains: Reptiles, Genocide, Names
  • Allies: Bowser
  • Enemies: Donkey Kong, Cranky Kong
  • Followers: The Kremlings. Notable members include Krusha, Klaptrap, Kerozene, Klubba, KAOS, and dozens more.
  • K. Rool is constantly scheming to eradicate all primates from existence, starting with gorillas and monkeys. He spends his off-time thinking of puns to inspire new breeds of Kremling.
  • He contests Bowser's chair as God of Evil Reptilians, but no one including Bowser takes him seriously. The two sometimes work together, since their enemies Mario and Donkey Kong have an on and off partnership of their own.
  • It's not uncommon for visitors to his seat to see him in a different outfit every day as he tries changing up his plans. Among others he's been a pirate, a Mad Scientist, and a boxer. He also claims to be a pilot, but no one has seen a costume for that yet.

Krusty the Clown, God of Jaded Performers (Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A pacemaker scar across his chest
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
  • Portfolio: Embittered Clowns, Jaded Actors, Kids' Show Hosts
  • Domains: Suffering, Trade, Trickery
  • Followers: Baby Herman
  • Allies: Bart and Homer Simpson, Al Bundy
  • Opposed by: Sideshow Bob, Mr. Burns
  • As a relatively harmless clown, Krusty was allowed to take the spot when he thought he was auditioning for a big-budget Hollywood production called "My Slice of Heaven". He soon realized that he had been tricked when neither Elizabeth Taylor nor any of her ex-husbands showed up to congratulate him, but was happy to learn that his new role moved him to a bigger house (rent-free!)

Kyoshiro Senryo, God of Kabuki

Light Yagami, God of Disproportionate Drama (Kira)

Mr. Slave, God of the Ass Shove

Needles Kane, God of Monster Clowns (Sweet Tooth)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His burning mask.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Portfolio: Monster Clown, Complete Monster, Serial Killer, Ax-Crazy, Bad Humor Truck
  • Domains: Chaos, Evil, Death, Suffering
  • Allies: Khorne, Omega, The Joker, Hannibal Lector.
  • Rival: Kratos
  • Enemies: Batman, Garrus.
  • He keeps his ice cream truck (Also named Sweet Tooth) inside of the Pantheons' vault. Many weaker deities tends to hide the very moment they hear the distorted jingle that it makes when he drives around the realms of both mortals and gods.
  • He has been seen talking to a paper bag at times while spreading terror in any neighborhood he has caused carnage in. Nobody has any clue to why.
  • He ascended to godhood after winning a Twisted Metal tournament. He wished to be sent to where the daughter of his host has been hiding so that he could kill her. Sadly for him, she had been dead for 10 years when he made the wish, leading to him getting buried alive in her casket. To this day, he has tried to find Calypso in order to get his revenge.
  • He has made a plan to make sure that if anything should happen to him, he will make sure that his son will be the next driver of the truck. And if that should fail, he can always try to get Yukari in it somehow.
  • When Kratos spilled his ice cream, he became extremely pissed, wanting the God of War to pick it up and pay for it. The two have been in a recent clash over the whole thing.

Ray Harryhausen, God of Stop Motion Animation
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: Seven skeleton warriors
  • Alignment: Neutral Good
  • Portfolio: Greek Mythology], Middle Eastern Mythology, Cowboys fighting dinosaurs, Giant monsters
  • Domains: Stop Motion Animation, Giant monsters
  • Followers: Tim Burton, Willis O'Brian, Phil Tippett, many of his creations
  • Allies: Jack Skellington, King Kong
  • Ray's temple is guarded by many of his more famous creations, such as the Cyclops, the Ymir, the Giant Octopus, and Mighty Joe Young.
  • Harryhausen's ascension was celebrated by many gods, with Jack Skellington and King Kong chief among the revelers. As a creature of stop-motion animation himself, Jack acknowledges Ray as a father-like figure, while Kong is proud to claim Ray as one of his greatest followers. One of the main attractions at the event was a staged fight between the Man with No Name and Sharptooth, in honor of Ray's love for cowboy/dinosaur fights.
  • Although the Kraken is only truly a follower of Davy Jones, it is known to respect Ray Harryhausen and refuses to harm him.

Robert Pattinson, God of Actors Who Openly Hate the Roles that Made Them Famous (RPatz)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A dagger speared through a Twilight novel.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
  • Portfolio: Adorkable, The Cast Showoff, Deadpan Snarkers, Digging Yourself Deeper, Being a Member of the Hatedom of the Series He Starred In, Those Who Aren't Edward Cullen, Good Actors Portraying Neutral Characters
  • Domains: Good, Snarkery, Movies.
  • Followers: A surprisingly large number of Internet denizens.
  • Allies:
    • Non-Ascended: Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner.
    • Ascended: Most of the Gods of Theater, even the ones that hate Twilight, the Harry Potter gods, the PPC. Anonymous has also warmed to him, even though Anon hates Twilight, because of Rob's open contempt for his role in it.
  • Enemies: Edward Cullen (his avatar) and every other god hailing from Twilight
  • When he took the role of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, he feared that he might be typecast forever, but his later role in Twilight erased that problem forever. It's common knowledge that Rob would rather be typecast as Cedric.
  • Would like everyone to know that he only took on the role of Edward Cullen in Twilight for the money, and that he actually hates the character.
    • In fact, he has stated straight out that he played Edward as a manic-depressive who hates himself, and has said that the secret to playing Edward is to look 'slightly constipated and stoned.' Needless to say, Cullen was not happy about finding this out.
  • Even though he played the main character in a movie hated by most of the internet, he is still commonly liked due to his open hatred for the role.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper, God of Talk Show with Fists (Hot Rod, George Roderick Toombs)

Scott Steiner, God of Angrish (Big Poppa Pump, The Genetic Freak, Freakzilla, The Big Bad Booty Daddy, The Man with the Largest Arms in the Pantheon)
  • Theme Song: "Holler if you hear me!"
  • Lesser God (Though he belives to be a Greater God)
  • Symbol: A silhouette of a head with his sunglasses, goatee and chainmail.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral or Evil. It's hard to tell with him.
  • Portfolio: Guys who go insane for almost nothing, people with specific things that pisses them off, Cool Shades, becomming more famous after leaving a team, Narm, being entertaining on the mic by being terrible, people who's not really all that bright at times, not giving anybody "sympy" while still getting love from the people.
  • Domains: Wrestling, Rage, Narm, Comedy
  • Followers: His "Freaks and Hootches" from the House of Love, Petey Williams, Ahmed Johnson, The Ultimate Warrior.
  • Enemies: John Cena, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, CM Punk, Alex Louis Armstrong, Goldberg, human countires, any overweight god, rednecks, WHITE TRAAAASH,The English Language!
  • High Priest: Ultimate Warrior.
  • He once tried to become a statistics teacher in the Academy. But after witnessing his less than accurate math equations, it was swiftly denied. In retaliation, he decided to found the Higher Educated University. So far, the only other teacher other than himself is the Ultimate Warrior, teacher of comicbook writing.
  • He once tried to pick a fight with Asura by cutting one of his infamous promos in his face. This moment suprised the entire Pantheon since it didn't lead to a fight or Steiner getting ripped appart to tiny pieces, wich tends to be the result whenever sombody tries to anger Asura. In fact, it actually lead to Asura having a hard time trying not to laugh!
  • It is considered wise to NEVER use the word "Hurricanrana" in his precense. He demands that it should always be called a "Frankensteiner", a move that he can suprisingly still pull off.
  • Everytime Steiner enters the House of Love, he uses astronomy as a means to explain the size of his "Big Dipper" wile claiming that he has women 9 days out of the week. Nobody tells him that the week only has 7 days, unless they want to hear him ramble on in Angrish, his native language, in an hour or two.
  • There is a famous drinking game played by the gods in the House of Sports: Whenever Scott Steiner does a belly-to-belly suplex or loudly exclaims the word "HUH?!", take a shot! This is also the biggest cause of alcohol poisoning in the Pantheon.
  • Whenever he claims that he is hungry, it tends to cause silent laughters from whoever is in the House of Food at the moment.
  • He is convinced that he has the largest arms in the entire Pantheon, even when every other god has tried to prove otherwise. His speeches that arises from denial and anger are still a good source of entertainment.
  • Scott Steiner accended to godhood after he managed to outwrestle the casts of Axis Powers Hetalia and Scandinavia and the World as well as the entire population of Papua New Guinea. The other gods still have a hard time trusting him when he claims that he has "Wrestled a lot of countries".
  • The House of Knowledge are still trying to decipher the language he starts to speak whenever he gets angry. They have managed to translate most of it and document it into dictionaries, but they still have no damn clue what the hell the sentence "Doing him an egg" is supposed to mean.
  • He seems to have an incredibly massive hatred towards any person who may be overweight. He once attacked E. Honda and Jabba the Hutt with a lead pipe and a steel chair on seperate occasions when he saw them in the House of Food and the House of Sports. When he was stopped by members of the GUAG, he simply defended his actions with the following statement.
  • He tried to test his luck in Lordran once. As expected with most people, it didn't go too well.
  • "SIZE DOES MATTER, BITCH!"

Sean Connery, God of Film Improvement

Sideshow Bob, God of Cultured Villains (Robert Underdunk Terwilleger)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A pair of big floppy shoes
  • Alignment: Lawful Evil
  • Portfolio: Clowns, Affably Evil Erudite Bastards, Recidivism, Revenge
  • Domains: Retribution, Knowledge, Spite
  • Followers: Nicolae Carpathia
  • Allies: Mr. Burns
  • Opposed by: Krusty, Bart Simpson, a surprisingly large assortment of rakes
  • Bob decided to step out of Krusty's shadow and engage in Affably Evil behavior for several years before finally giving up and moving out of the country to partake in the finest of world cuisines. Whoever his mortal successor should be has some mighty big shoes to fill...big shoes to fill...big shoes to fill...
  • He resents his former status as a put-up clown's assistant, which makes his enduring weakness against strategically positioned rakes (THWACK! Grrrwwrrr...) ironic.

Steve Austin, God of The Big "WHAT?!" (Stone Cold, The Texas Rattlesnake, The Alcohol-Fueled Whoop-Ass Machine, The Bionic Redneck)
  • Theme Song: Glass Shatters, either version
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: The Middle-finger gesture (Stone Cold Salute) and/or skull with smoking eye sockets
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Portfolio: Professional Wrestling, Beer (and lots of it), Sociopathic Heroes (And Doing it in Comedic Moments), George Jetson Job Security, Stomping Mudholes, Lovable Jerks, Rebellious Spirits.
  • Domains: Strength, Chaos, Alcohol.
  • Allies: Jim Ross, Lobo, Mick Foley.
  • Rivals: CM Punk (friendly though both with would immediately deny it.), The Rock (friendly though), Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Vince McMahon, The Undertaker, Kane.
  • It is customary to quote Austin 3:16 - "I just whupped your ass!" when one completes such an act. "Because Stone Cold said so." also has its moments.
  • Was unable to win the tournament that decided the God of Wrestling. He still got to kick CM Punk's ass, though.
  • In recent time, there has been many fights between him and the God of Straight Edge, CM Punk.
  • Whenever he is present in the House of Food, there always seem to be a large amount of beer missing along with a lot of broken glass covering the floor as well. Has become a good drinking buddy to recently ascended Andre the Giant, and the two can be shown having beer chugging contests from time to time.
  • Whatever you do, NEVER EVER hurt Jim Ross in his presence. It will end badly.
  • Is to be wary of seen in the House of Travel. That's because he'll drive off with a vehicle, drive it to a match in the House of Combat or Sports, get off it, and then start putting the Stone Cold Stunner on anyone he sees.
  • For not too long ago, a newly accended masked god began to hire people to hunt Austin, desecrating his places of worship and turning his life into a living hell. Austin managed to defeat his new foes before tracking down the god who has made an enemy out of him, demanding to know who it was. he was met with this.

Terry Bogard, God of Gratuitous Engrish (Terrence Bogard, Lone Wolf of Southtown)
  • Theme Song: Kurikinton or Big Shot!.
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His Classic Cap.
  • Alignment: Neutral Good
  • Portfolio: Broken English, Eagleland Type 2 Positive, Street-Fighting, Nice Hat, Lack Of Parents.
  • Followers: Kana Minami
  • Allies: Ryu, Mai Shiranui, Kyo Kusanagi, Kim Kaphwan, and apparently Chiyo's dad.
  • Enemies: Geese Howard, Rugal Bernstein.
  • Domain: Theater, Battle, Language.
  • For all his Engrish and street fighting, he's having trouble in winning in fighting games. The only one he can win against is the technology-deaf Ryu.
  • He's really shocked for the presence of Geese Howard, his worst enemy and the murderer of his adoptive father Jeff.
    Terry: "GEESE!"
  • "ARE YOU OKAY!?!? BUSTER WOLF!" For the record, NEVER look not-okay in front of Terry. That is what awaits you if you ever look not-okay in front of him.
  • While he's very okay with the presence of Mai Shiranui, he is kinda annoyed when she pesters him about the whereabouts of his brother Andy. Not that Terry wouldn't use that to Troll on Andy whenever he visits the mortal realm.
  • Terumi once visits him to Troll him about his 'outdated style'. Terry just responded by claiming just how cute his remarks are, completely unaffected with the Trolling. A pissed off Terumi struck back, but the aforementioned BUSTER WOLF threw him out of Terry's house.

Tom and Jerry, Gods of Slapstick

Veigue Lungberg, God of Name-Yelling
Theater Intermediate GodsPantheon/TheaterTheater Demigods And Quasideities

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