Pantheon: Sports Demi Gods And Quasideities
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Colt Cabana, God of Independent Wrestling (Scott Colton, Scotty Goldman, "Boom Boom", Matt Classic)
- Theme Song: "Boom Boom".
- Symbol: A Headband with the word "Cabanarama" on it.
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Portfolio: Professional Wrestling, Joke Characters of the Lethal Variety, Comedians.
- Domains: Competition, Luck, Trickery.
- Followers: Independent wrestlers, anybody looking for success without "Selling Out".
- Non-Ascended: Marty DeRosa.
- Ascended: CM Punk, Paul London and Brian Kendrick.
- Opposes: Vince McMahon.
- High Priest: "Lightning" Mike Quackenbush.
- The first wrestling Deity to ascend without the help of Vince McMahon. To say this infuriates McMahon is an understatement.
- Remember the fact he used to compete in WWE as Scotty Goldman? McMahon treated him as a mere jobber. Brian Kendrick remembers (as they fought once in his The Brian Kendrick persona) and buried the hatchet.
- Has a storied and long-standing friendship with CM Punk.
- He was once told "Funny ain't money". He's since dedicated his life to proving that wrong.
Private First Class/Sergeant/Minor Junior Private Negative First Class/Captain Dexter Grif, God of Blood Sports (Griff, Dirtbag, That Yellow Guy, Sarge's Number 7 Man)
- Theme Song: Grifball Jam
- Symbol: The AGLA logo
- Portfolio: Being ultra-lazy, being gluttonous, being on the short end of Sarge's schemes, being a Badass Driver when the situation calls for it
- Domain: Sloth, Gluttony, Pain
- Allies: Simmons, Donut, Church (both Alpha and Epsilon), Yukari Yakumo
- Enemies: Sarge (kinda)
- He was forced to ascend after the Main House decided to have a Grifball court built into the House of Sports. Whenever a player picks up the Grifball, Grif's spirit possesses their body and their uniform becomes orange - leaving him the prime target for everyone's Gravity Hammers. Also, much to his chagrin, he gets blown up whenever he scores.
- Whenever anyone's not playing Grifball, Grif can either be seen sleeping in his house or pigging out in the House of Food. His bottomless stomach scares that entire House. He once got into an eating contest with Pac-Man, Kirby, and Kyoko Sakura - after what took weeks (even after manipulation from the House of Time and Space), it ended with a tie.
- He has no idea why everyone thinks his armor is yellow instead of orange. In fact, Charlotte once tried to eat him, mistaking him for a block of cheese. (Grif survived, thanks to his protective cone.)
- He gets uneasy whenever he's around any type of Action Girl. This is likely a result of Tex busting his balls one too many times.
- Has a huge respect for Yukari Yakumo, and tries to emulate her laziness.
- He tried to pledge himself as a follower of every other deity in the Pantheon, under the rhetoric that omni-religion would force him to take every single day as a holy day of rest. It didn't work.
- The Stig, after seeing some records of Grif's driving capabilities, sent Grif an e-mail challenging him to a race. Grif hasn't responded, since he's too lazy to even look at his email.
- Has recently entered a period of mourning. When asked why, he simply responded with "I didn't know him too well, but I knew him well enough." before cramming more lava cakes into his mouth.
Miho Nishizumi, Goddess of Non-Lethal Tank Warfare (Miporin)
- Theme Song: "Sensha-Do March: Panzer Vor!", SCHOOL GIRL Hajimemasu! and infinity orbit
- Symbol: The Cartoon-ish Anglerfish that marks her team's Panzer IV Ausf. H. Alternatively, the Ōarai Girls' Academy logo.
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Portfolio: Tanks, unconventional tactics, No One Gets Left Behind, Heir to the Dojo, Adored Big Sister Figures who admire their own big sisters, Defector from Decadence, refusing to accept Serious Business unless it is legitimately serious, bringing hope to Sensha-Do students, Preventing schoools from closing.
- Domains: War, Sports, Tactics, Friendship, Hope
- Followers: The Oarai Girls' Academy Tankery Club, countless online tank gamers.
- Allies: Saori Takebe, Hana Isuzu, Mako Reizei, Madoka, Twilight Sparkle, Luffy, Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed, Millhiore, Leonmitchelli and Couvert, Mark Jamieson Shepard, I-401 Iona, Miku Kohinata, The Nagarekawa Girls, Anoa Aoba, Naka, Teana Lanster, Sanya V. Litvyak
- Enemies: Azula and Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
- High Priestess: Yukari Akiyama
- Opposed by/Opposes: Her mother, Shiho Nishizumi
- After taking a school whose Sensha-Do program was twenty years dead and winning a national tournament with leftover tanks, crews full of rookies, and tactical-defensive combat, she inadvertently caught the attention of Mars and Madoka. The Maiden of Battles determined that the girl had taken The Second Breath when she jumped a series of river-bound tanks to rescue her companions and the Goddess of Hope was impressed by the young Hope Bringer. She was then welcomed into the Pantheon.
- Yukari Akiyama worshiped her long before her ascension to this house. She served as tank loader when Miho was mortal and eagerly volunteered for the position of high priestess after her ascension. In contrast, her mother continues to refer to her style of Sensha-Do as "hersey". The look on her face when her daughter became a goddess is reported to have been priceless.
- She was offered a Lesser Deity status but refused it. According to her friends, it was hard enough to convince her to accept divinity at all. Even afterwards she was prone to saying Stop Worshipping Me.
- Whenever a Sensha-Do practioner says "Panzer Vor!" they are invoking Miho.
- As also performing the Anglerfish Dance, since it was one of the essential rituals that became instrumental in her team's victory over Pravda High.
- She's often visists the House Of War to discuss Sensha-Do tactics with Creed, sparking rumors that she is Creed's ancestor.
- Upon her ascension, Kamina expressed interest in mentoring her about Rousing Speeches. Sadly, when she tries to emulate his Large Ham style the result is endearingly awful.
- Learning about Azula and her treatment of her friends was the closest she's come to divine fury. Then she heard about her Villainous Breakdown and felt pity and compassion. They are only enemies as far as Azula believes that Sensha-Do is an elaborate plot by her loving mother to make her fail at life.
- She has a great relationship with Madoka and come to see the veteran goddess as a Cool Big Sis. She did not hesitate in joining the Pantheonic Rebellion to support her.
- She also is good friends with Saki Miyanaga, due to having similarities in their relationship with their respective sisters. Miho holds out hope that Teru cares more for Saki than she lets on, much like Miho's own sister does for her.
- Miho hasn't figured out why she sounds like I-401 Iona but she's not complaining because she's a nice person(?) from the few conversations they've had.
- She, Anoa Aoba and Naka (and later on, I-401 Iona, Teana and Sanya) have made a small group called "The Girl Military Force", with her standing for land crafts. She felt like she was bit out of place, though, as she was the only one not directly based on a vehicle, as she simply pilots a tank, until Teana joined in. They seem to look over the "non-lethal" part of her title.
Nekomaru Nidai, God of Saving Sports Teams (Ultimate Team Manager, Mecha-Nidai, Mechamaru )
- Symbol: Chain-suspended weights beside a clipboard
- Alignment: Chaotic Good, Chaotic Evil in Ultimate Despair
- Portfolio: Large Ham, Hot-Blooded, Younger Than They Look, Determinator, Made of Iron, Taking the bazooka shot, Becoming a cyborg, Dueling to the death and losing
- Domains: Athletics, Training, Management
- Followers: Patches O'Houlihan
- Allies: Makoto Naegi, Aoi Asahina, Sakura Ogami, Sonia Nevermind, Peko Pekoyama, Mikan Tsumiki, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Chiaki Nanami, NintendoCapriSun, Wii Fit Trainer, Hisao Nakai, Glass Joe, Little Mac, Adam Jensen, Raiden
- Enemies: Monokuma and his Mastermind, Nagito Komaeda, Balrog
- Upon ascension he was greated happily by his fellow classmates. He was however bemoaned by the majority of the gambling community as it shuffled the win-lose odds with his repeated training of underdogs taking them to extravagant heights such as national playoffs. Savvier gamblers noted this meant odds were mostly just reversed.
- As soon as he could he re-started training himself and his allies from his universe. Of note Aoi has improved even further while Sakura politely declined, seeking a partner instead. Nekomaru decided to throw everything he had at her despite knowing he couldn't win a straight brawl, if just to challenge her a little.
- Not the fondest of Nagito Komaeda especially after hearing just how crazy he could get. He routinely rounds up fellow minded gods and kidnaps him so he won't potentially sabotage the GUAG.
- Has decided to taken on training Glass Joe. While his physical performance has only improved slightly, Nekomaru outfitted him with headgear and has taught him fake out jabs and how to protect against his One Hit Ko weakness. Even Little Mac got a little afraid but continues to train with only Doc Louis depsite Nekomaru's offers. Still they respect each and are impressed by each other.
- He's been recently pushing Hisao Nakai, himself born with a heart disease. Hisao's appreacitive of the thought but often finds himself overexerted. Nekomaru joked that if things got to be dangerously harmful, Hisao could just become a cyborg like he once was to Hisao's dismay.
- When visiting Chiaki, Nekomaru heard the jubilant screams of someone declaring the greatness of the bathroom. Joyful that someone seemingly had a similar appreciation of a good shit, he marched to their shrine and declared each other friends. This was none other than NintendoCapriSun.
- After his roboticisation in the virtual world Adam and Raiden gave their sympathies even if it wasn't real and were impressed to hear that the incident that led it to it was to save a friend. They were caught off guard when it seemed Nekomaru MOSTLY seemed to enjoy it. This did end up leading Raiden to learn of what Ultimate Despair was, infuriating him and solidifying their alliance.
The Monstars, Gods of the Opposing Sports Team (The Mean Team, The Nerdlucks)
- Symbol: A basketball surrounded by space rings.
- Theme Music: Hit 'em High
- Alignment: Chaotic Evil
- Portfolio: Opposing Sports Team, Amazing Technicolor Population, Make My Monster Grow, One-Winged Angel, stealing the talent of other basketball players, playing dirty, Punch Clock Villain, Defeat Means Friendship, Five-Bad Band.
- Domains: Aliens, Basketball, Cheating.
- Followers: The Luca Goers, Cobra Kai, The Globo Gym Purple Cobras
- Allies: The Ginyu Force
- Enemies: Michael Jordan, Sakuragi Hanamichi, Dr Eggman
- Rivals: All Looney Tunes affiliated gods.
- The Monstars came to the Pantheon when their boss Swackhammer found out about the Pantheon and decided that he wanted the Pantheon to be a new attraction at his intergalactic theme park, Moron Mountain. The Court of the Gods decided to challenge the Monstars to a basketball game; if the Monstars won, the Pantheon would be moved to Moron Mountain.
- With the Pantheon's basketball team being led by Michael Jordan and Sakuragi Hanamichi, the Monstars didn't stand a chance, not even after they'd stolen the talent of several basketball players in the mortal realm to boost their skills. The outraged Swackhammer was sent back to Moron Mountain when the Monstars turned on him, only for the Monstars to realise that they had no way of going home themselves. As a result, it was agreed that they would be given a position in the Pantheon.
- After their ascension, the Monstars returned the talent they'd stolen, but the powers of the Pantheon enabled them to remain in their Monstar forms due to the nature of their position.
- The orange one is called Pound, the green one is Bang, the purple one is Bupkus, the red one is Nawt and the blue one is Blanko.
- Following the relevation that Charles Barkley had grown more powerful since the Monstars last encountered him, steps have been taken to stop the Monstars from stealing his talent again should he ever come to the Pantheon.
- The Monstars had challenged the Looney Tunes to a basketball game once before, so the Looney Tunes told the Pantheon's team what to expect from them.
- Dr Eggman dislikes the Monstars because he views Moron Mountain as a threat to Dr Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park.
- The Monstars get along surprisingly well with the Ginyu Force, and have challenged them to a friendly basketball game. The Ginyu Force are the favourites to win because Guldo's psychic powers and Burter's super speed lend themselves well to basketball.
- If their poor stats in the tie-in video game are anything to go by, the Monstars aren't nearly as good at basketball as they claim to be.
Rincewind, God of Running
- Symbol: A pointy hat with stars and the word "WIZZARD" on it
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Running Away, Modern Major General, Battle Luggage, Obfuscating Stupidity, Reason Before Honor, Great Luck, Perfectly Reasonable Cowardice, High Hopes, Zero Talent
- Domains: Travel, Magic
- Allies: Caiphas Cain, '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!''', Brave Sir Robin, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Flash, Rainbow Dash, Scott Pilgrim, Sasha Blouse, Latios and Latias
- Followers (i.e. those running in the same direction): The Legendary Beasts, Lake Trio, Tornadus and Thundurus, other cowards (but, as Rincewind is quick to point out, cowards who are still alive)
- Not the strongest god, but definitely one of the hardest to defeat. It's not easy to find him, especially when he's startled, but he might be in the library or in the Food house, eating potatoes. Especially after the ascension of Sasha Blouse, as the House of Food now has a plentiful source of potatoes for him to feast upon.
- Possible the only god unkillable in full frontal combat due to his ability to run away from anything and everything.
- Hated by Pokémon Trainers everywhere in the sense that he encourages some legendary Pokémon to run away from them. Even if those Pokémon have started to avoid being associated with Rincewind, there are still some who follow him.
- Also present in House of Travel.
Saki Miyanaga, Goddess of Mahjong
- Symbol: a 1 of Circles mahjong tile
- Alignment: Neutral Good
- Portfolio: Mahjong, Joshikousei, Making Statisticians Cry
- Domain: Sports, Mahjong, Strategy
- Followers: Nodoka Haramura (her consort and Head Acolyte), Junichiro Koizumi, Hitler, The Pope, Yulia Tymoshenko
- Won the godhood from a much-vaunted Interdimensional Tournament of Mahjong, largely staying out of the proverbial bloodshed and defeating most other Mahjong masters too busy jockeying for position. She was defeated by Akagi in the final four match (the other two contestants are Junichiro Koizumi and her own sister Teru Miyanaga), but won the godhood anyway since the adjudicators from the House of Justice caught Akagi cheating and Saki's points was still unchanged after a mahjong equivalent of a massacre, thus demonstrating her absolute mastery of the game.
- Himeko has expressed interest in her and her partner, although it's still too early to say that they will be allies. The same could be said for Nanoha.
- She often gets lost in her own temple. This led to Nodoka leading her by the hand when she visits other Houses.
- Due to her skill with the technique, "Tsumo after a kong" is part of the standard prayer for her followers.
The Stig, God of Test Drivers and Professional Racers (Mysterious Racer, All That We Known of Him, Racer X)
- Symbol: a generic white full-face helmet
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Cars, Racers
- Domain: Sports, Racing, Celerity
- Followers: Michael Schumacher (served as his avatar for a time), Flying Finns (and many other Finnish people as well), the cast of Future GPX Cyber Formula, and professional racers worldwide. Speed Racer caters car for both The Stig and Takumi.
- Allies: Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May.
- Rival: Tak Fujiwara.
- Enemies: Rubens Barrichello, Sebastian Vettel.
- Adscended after the fall of his predecessor, who's now known as the Sacked Stig.
- Maintains a fierce rivalry with Tak Fujiwara, although at present it's limited to open taunting and fierce races on street circuits (because The Stig races exclusively on the circuits while Tak highly prefer streets). Monaco is their favored venue.
- Some say that he has sent down a new, female avatar. Some say that he is an Egyptian king. All we know is... he's called The Stig.
Keith Howard, God of Unsuccessful Cheaters and Sore Losers (Bandit Keith)
- Theme music: Bandit Keith's theme.
- Symbol: An American flag bandanna.
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Sore Loser, Cheaters Never Prosper, Smug Snake, constantly picking on teenagers, Hair-Trigger Temper, Blond Guys Are Evil, Big Bad Wannabe, Asshole Victim, Unsportsmanlike Gloating, always wearing Cool and Sinister Shades, Killer Robot, Wearing a Flag on Your Head, Eagleland (Type 2), Spared by the Adaptation, Adaptational Badass.
- Domains: Competition, Gambling, Jerkassery.
- Allies: Dick Dastardly, Wario, Waluigi.
- Enemies: Yugi Mutou, Yusei Fudo, Seto Kaiba, Katsuya Jonouchi (aka. Joey Wheeler, non-ascended), Pegasus J. Crawford (aka Maximillion Pegasus, non-ascended).
- Opposed by: Judai Yuki, Captain America
- Pitied by: Yugi Mutou, Yuma Tsukumo
- Drinking Buddies with: The Most Interesting Man in the World
- Herald: Ushio.
- Gained the title due to his actions during Duelist Kingdom. After Duel Monsters creator Pegasus humiliated him in a duel, he entered the tournament uninvited and cheated his way into the finals, cheated during his and Jounouchi's duel, and tried to threaten Pegasus into giving him the prize money after losing. Unfortunately for him, said duel turned out to be a Shadow Game controlled by Pegasus, who caught his foul play. Whatever happened to him after that (sources differ note ), it wasn't nice.
- Also notable is that his initial loss against Pegasus led him into: drinking, entering a card game tournament in a deserted island, luring Jonouchi (a teenager) into a trap to watch his strategy, stealing the entry card to the finals from that teenager, beating up the teenager's shorter and weaker friend for almost catching him on the act, pointing a gun at Pegasus after losing a duel with said teenager, and in one continuity, actually getting resurrected to have a rematch. With the teenager. His utter inability to accept loss made him worthy of his second title.
- ... It should be said, though, that in several video game adaptations, Keith is actually a genuine threat, having usurped control of the Ghouls from Marik, facing off against the Other Yugi/Yami Yugi without cheating, defeating Jounouchi in battle, gained the ability to initiate deadly Shadow Games, and stealing the Millennium Items to control the Winged Dragon of Ra. These accomplishments, while dangerous, are usually foiled by the mysterious being playing the games. (It doesn't help that Ra was stuck in its Sphere Mode.) Then again, there are doubts about the veracity of these events.
- Is somewhat of an Unreliable Narrator, constantly saying the title as the champion was wrongfully taken from him (and beating up anyone who says otherwise). Contradicting stories circulate about his encounters with mortal Jounouchi (Joey Wheeler) pre-ascension.
- One version (the one Keith supports and tries to keep circulating... with a lot of success, surprisingly) says that Jounouchi confronted him (because of the aforementioned "luring the teen into a cave" thing) and tried rather ineffectively to beat him up, which Keith dodged with ease. Nothing major came of it.
- The other version, supported by Yugi Mutou and the mortal himself, says that the blond found Keith beating the living daylights out of Yugi, who had tried to call him out after catching him outside of Jounouchi’s room (right after the older man had stolen Jou’s entry card to the finals, no less). Jounouchi promptly kicked his ass.
- Regardless of which version is true, Keith often boasts that he's glad that the young man will probably never ascend to the Pantheon - as it should be. Other gods can't help but think he feels another way entirely, however.
- Not powerful enough to be considered a threat, but enough of an asshole for most of the weaker and/or smarter deities to avoid him. That doesn't stop him from trying to pick fights with weaker deities to pass the time, though. Unfortunately, he once tried to provoke a seemingly weak newcomer by pressing his buttons (that is, insulting the boy's clan). Unfortunately, that "weakling" was none other than Kurapika. Given what happened next, we can reasonably conclude at this point that Keith isn't all that smart, either.
- Used to look for Demigods and Quasideities to try to blackmail into kidnapping Yugi, just so he could have a duel and beat him (or beat him up, more likely), but got caught by Yusei Fudo. One roundhouse kick later, Keith went to other sections of the House of Gaming to restore some of his dignity as a former champion... only to end up cheating at every game he found until he got caught by Seto Kaiba. Now, Keith spends most of his free time in the bars in the House of Food. He has The Most Interesting Man in the World as company, at least.
- Even after everything that's happened (which also made Keith gain opposition from Yugi fan Judai Yuki), Yugi himself can't help but feel sorry for him. Not that he has forgotten what a jerk Bandit Keith has been (and still is); he certainly recognizes that his actions and cheating habits must be stopped. But rumors have started circulating of the King of Games planning to redeem the guy somehow. True or not, fellow duelist Yuma Tsukumo is totally down for the idea. Which doesn't make anyone else feel better about it.
- Somehow, however, despite his Jerkass deeds and not being able to win a single duel on-screen, he avoided being sent to the Disgraces or the Fallen. The reason given was his inexplicable popularity with the fan base, especially in his (in-universe) country of origin.
- Oddly, a big deal seems to have been made from his nationality, (particularly the way he very visually represents it), and has come to be known as some sort of American nationalist as a result. Even though that's not quite true, Keith has decided to embrace this reputation due to the popularity boost it brings him.note ... That won't go to his head, hopefully.
- This makes him not very well liked by some gods, though. Captain America in particular is not much of a fan of his, not just because of Keith's overly-patriotic persona, but because of his true nature; therefore, he avoids him as much as possible. The super-soldier doesn't like bullies, after all.
- Unfortunately for everyone, Keith has been befriended by Dick Dastardly, Wario and Waluigi. The guy doesn't really know what to think of his new mustached pals, but they have encouraged him to keep doing his dastardly deeds and make pride of his title. Sadly, it doesn't look like he'll be reforming anytime soon.
- Should Keith win a duel, expect him to rub it in your face.
- Also has a spot in the House of Gaming.