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There are so many Narmy moments in the Star Wars prequels (and a few in the original trilogy as well), that we could almost rename this Trope "The Wisdom of Anakin". To wit:
The prequel trilogy itself in general can be considered a Narm, since it was supposed to be a tragedy. But nope, all the films have is bad written dialogue, to the point that it sounds funny rather than sad.
The original trilogy can also fall prey to this as well. The fun, exciting adventure can come across as utterly camp or hokey, depending on the audience. Some members may also find the dialogue corny. A good rule of thumb is that your mileage will definitely vary.
All of the names George Lucas gives that sounds like a three year old's babbling, like Shmi, Naboo, Dooku, and so on. Even in the original trilogy: Solo (geddit?), Skywalker, Starkiller, and so on.
"Skywalker" at least sounds pretty cool.
The name Gungan did, in fact, come from his son.
It was probably supposed to be dramatic, but when Count Dooku asked Obi-Wan to join him against the Sith, the parallels with the Luke, I Am Your Father speech in The Empire Strikes Back were just too much.
That there is a villain named "Dooku" is hysterical.
Tyranus is a much cooler name, but they only call him that once or twice in either movie.
Lampshaded in The Venture Bros. when Henchman #24 said he had to "take a Count Dooku in the bathroom."
Do cu is a Portuguese phrase meaning "from the ass" which is pronounced exactly like Dooku. Thus in the Brazilian release of the movie, Dooku's name was changed to "Dookan" (both in the subtitled and in the dubbed version of the movie). The Jedi named Sifo Dias had a similar fate - when spoken in Portuguese, "Sifo Dias" has a sexual connotation. His name became Zifo Vias. And in Episode I, there is a character named Panaka; "panaca" means "imbecile" in Portuguese. Panaka became "Panacé".
Those are... actually a lot cooler than the originally names.
The RiffTrax commentary of Revenge of the Sith makes fun of Dooku's name by sniggering and commenting "What kind of clown names himself after a Green Day album?"
The name causes some unintentional humor for Finns as well, since in Finnish "doku" is a slang term for an alcoholic.
For a few, Vader's mask and helmet are Narmtastic. Ralph McQuarrie's original designs were more skull-like.
Even more so if you've read Good Omens, in which Vader is referred to as "the one who got to wear the coal scuttle and blow up planets."
One of the millions of re-releases of Return of the Jedi finds Vader's silence at the climax replaced with this drama-killer.
One hysterical parody had the "NOOO"s dubbed by Beavis and/or Butt-Head saying, "This sucks. This sucks more than anything has ever sucked."
Many of these entries can be filed under Is This What Anger Feels Like? and Angrish. It's the screenplays that make most of the bad Star Wars lines the way they are. For example, Anakin's last words to Obi-Wan in Revenge of the Sith: If you can't tell how he feels about his old master after the betrayal, the killing of Jedi, the backstabbing of the entire system of government, and his actively trying to KILL him for the last 20 minutes just to get most of his limbs cut off, then DON'T WORRY. Lucas had the foresight to make sure Anakin said "I HATE YOU!" just so everybody in the cheap seats understood the characterization.
I'd really say the lines, with proper direction and acting advice, could have worked. Imagine how devastating it could be, if instead of roaring the "I HATE YOU", Anakin instead painfully gasped out the line in a soft tone, more to himself than to Obi-Wan, as if he's trying to privately convince himself he hates his old friend, but his tone shows its really a broken-hearted man's justification for his actions.
"Begun, this clone war has."
"Around the survivors, a perimeter create!"
Not exactly laugh inducing, but the part where the viceroy goes "ah, victory" makes conquering a society seem a little bland.
Also from Episode Two:
"I slaughtered them like animals! I HATE THEM!!!"
In all fairness though, what kind of emotional state would anyone be in after bringing home the body of a loved one?
Possibly topped for Narm by Padme's (non)reaction to the revelation Anakin's a mass murderer of native sentients. It borders the territory of Unfortunate Implications as she blankly stares, blinks a few times, and seems to instantly forgive him, and blindly hops into a relationship with him not too long afterwards. This one might be open to debate though. According to Lars, the Sand People killed most of the group of farmers that went to try to rescue Shmi (and of course blasted his leg off). Combined with Anakin probably mentioning that they had been torturing her, Padme could easily have sympathized with his anger, you know, what with her home planet having been invaded and her people put into concentration camps not so many years earlier. It is doubtful that she was a believer in the universal goodness of all sentient beings.
"If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find."
"I can't watch any more." Delivered with Ewan McGregor's trademark phoned-in performance, attempting to rev up Alec Guinness's corpse to 300 rpm, some viewers were in hearty agreement with Obi-Wan at this point.
"I have seen... a... security hologram... of him... killing younglings..." Awful line, delivered in an almost completely deadpan way. And it doesn't help that it looks like Ewan McGregor is trying not to laugh at the line.
General Grievous declared, "I have been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku!". Not only does calling them "your" Jedi arts make it seem like he isn't that good at them, but also, Count Dooku was killed off approximately three seconds into that movie, which makes it quite understandable that Obi-Wan is neither impressed nor intimidated by this statement.
In an earlier version of the script, Obi-Wan was supposed to call him out on this with a reply along the lines of, "Well I trained the man who killed Count Dooku." That would have been cool, but it had to go. It remained in the novelization of the movie, along with the portable video game.
Grievous' other big narm moment was his declaration early in the film, "Your lightsabers will make fine additions to my collection!" The narm becomes apparent when he opens his cloak and only one lightsaber is properly visible. Silly novice collector... The reason for this was probably that, in a deleted scene of the movie, Grievous kills Shaak Ti in front of Obi-Wan and Anakin. So that would account for the single lightsaber in his cloak, while the rest of his collection would be elsewhere. But they deleted that scene, so it does seem like that one lightsaber is his "collection." Although to be fair, we only see him open up one side of his cloak, so he could have been carrying lightsabers in the other side.
Every single time Obi-Wan is around Grievous, he behaves like such a doofus; he succeeds in making Grievous look like a completely incompetent putz. Obi-Wan mocks him openly while cuffed on the Invisible Hand; when surrounded by a thousand battle droids and General Grievous wielding four lightsabers, he has the audacity to do that unbelievably Narm-tastic lightsaber position... where he yanks his lightsaber all the way back away from himself, pointing it forward, and extending his other hand all the way forward, completely undefended and ready to be hacked off if Grievous weren't as much of a putz as Kenobi treats him.
It becomes even funnier if you know anything about fencing, and realize that the position he assumes is actually a legitimate position... if his lightsaber was in the opposite hand.
There's also the completely ridiculous way that, when fixing to face off with Obi-Wan, he says "YOU FOOL!"
After Nute Gunray expresses doubts in Grievous' ability to keep the remaining Separatist leaders safe without Count Dooku, Grievous gives this ridiculous response which just reeks of card-carrying villainy:
Be thankful, Viceroy, you have not found yourself in my grip!
"You killed younglings!" The word "youngling" breaks the drama of any scene. Not even the gravity of brutal killing of children could survive the inherent comedy of that word.
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes!" Take a close look at that statement. Doesn't it look a little absolute?
And then Obi-Wan absolutely insists, "Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is EVIL!" and when Anakin says that from his point of view, the Jedi are evil (which is Narm in of itself, since he uses those exact words), Obi-Wan yells "THEN YOU ARE LOST!"
Furthermore, everything the Jedi do is absolute. Anakin's problem with them is that there are so many rules, particularly those against marriage and love. Also, "Do or do not, there is no try" is pretty absolute.
Rifftrax: From my point of view, a monkey wrote this script WITH HIS PENIS!
"This isTENSE!" Tsk tsk. However "realistic" this comment might be coming from a ten-year-old suddenly thrust into a space battle, it's still telling the audience that they should be on the edges of their seats.
It's still better than Qui-Gon declaring earlier in the film that "it won't be a problem", informing the audience how the upcoming fight scene is going to turn out and dispelling any drama it otherwise might have had.
"Let's try spinning, that's a good trick!" When one of your characters, who is in the middle of a dogfight in a ship he's not familiar with, sounds more like a kid playing the Episode I Racer Nintendo 64 game than someone in that situation, you might want to consider a rewrite.
That line becomes even more amusing when you realize that Anakin just told R2 to do a barrel roll.
It's like some grotesque, mutated strain of Fridge Brilliance when it dawns on you that 90% of child Anakin's lines might as well be spoken directly to the audience. He can storyboard like a mofo', but let's face it: George Lucas just doesn't understand Show, Don't Tell.
Grievous was killed by several consecutive blaster shots. Grievous has supposedly killed a bunch of Jedi. Obi-Wan killed him using a less-than-average basic weapon. This made the scene hilarious to think about.
Granted, he had already been seriously wounded (if not crippled) by Mace Windu, so he was a lot weaker... but still, that's pathetic.
That just proves that hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.
What about "I Have the High Ground" from Ep III? It sounded like, "All right, I'm on the higher ground. Forget it. No way you can beat me now. Don't matter what you do."
Shortly after, Anakin proceeds to take his chances and has his good arm and BOTH his legs cut off clean in one strike, and it feels like the only reason for this is the higher ground...
Obi-Wan also seems to suffer from memory loss. Remember the end of Episode I, when Darth Maul had the high ground?
Actually, Obi-Wan's memory seemed to be perfectly fine, since he knew to attack Anakin while he was in midair and not just stand there like an idiot.
Especially silly considering that attacking a person's legs with a sword is easier on lower ground!
Obi-Wan wasn't aiming for the legs, at least not initially. Never mind the fact that Anakin lost his limbs when he was level with Obi-Wan. Having the high ground gave Obi-Wan a tremendous advantage, particularly since Anakin had to either climb or leap up to reach him, putting him off balance. And, unlike Darth Maul, Obi-Wan knew what was coming.
Darth Maul's own death can qualify, mostly for two reasons. One, he makes no attempt to defend himself even though he really should have had time to do so (there's even a brief moment when Obi-Wan lands beside him before he swings where Maul is just staring at him) and two, after the slice, we are treated to a nice shot of his body falling apart in midair, the two halves of it flipping over and bouncing off the sides of the bottomless pit while his arms and legs flail about uselessly. His facial expressions during the whole ordeal don't help matters.
Yet another exchange between Grievous and Obi-Wan. It would have been more dramatic if Grevious hadn't said it after Obi-Wan already cut two of his hands off.
"Army or not, you must realize you are doomed!" "Oh, I don't think so!"
"Master Skywalker, there are too many of them, what are we going to do?" It's supposed to be sad, but the way it was delivered was less than dramatic.
How else could it have been said? YMMV, but I can't think of any other way to say it.
It's probably the kid's accent, and how he seems to be reciting the lines as properly as he can.
It's more his delivery. The child cannot act, poor thing, and the line is completely flat, with no inflection, just a set of words that he's learned: "master skywalker there are too many of them what are we going to do."
In Attack of the Clones, Anakin's mother lives as a captive of the Tusken Raiders for several months. Anakin randomly comes to Tatooine, finds out where she is, and rushes to rescue her. She dies five minutes after he walks into her tent.
She was only hanging on for her son's sake. When she knew that he was okay, her life was complete. Still...
It doesn't help that Pernilla August and/or the director chose a death method that inspires unintended hilarity in its viewers. *GLAAACK!* She's gone. When she does her death flop, it's almost slapstick for a second or two there.
The voices of the Super Battle Droids in Revenge of the Sith destroy any menace they might have possessed beforehand. It doesn't help that it's the kind of dialogue you'd expect from a breakfast cereal advertisement.
Generally, Yoda's lightsaber scene in Attack of the Clones gets two types of reactions from people: Some think it's extremely badass. Others think it's extremely Narmish. (There are reports of whole cinemas breaking into laughter.)
It can be both. For some, it was a mix of "Holy shit, that's awesome!" and "Holy shit, that's funny!"
It need not even be both simultaneously. The first time through the sheer fanboy glee at the badassitude of Yoda wielding a lightsaber might distract you from the eNARMity of it.
The hilarity of the scene is mainly provided by Yoda screaming like Shemp from The Three Stooges throughout the fight. Screw Jedi reserve, restraint, calm, you have to yell louder than Mel Gibson in Braveheart to win a lightsaber duel.
Pretty much the same thing with Palpatine's first lightsaber duel in Revenge of the Sith, where he activates his lightsaber and yells out a sound that makes it sound as if he's gargling while having heartburn, as he attacks the Jedi.
One of the scenes before the climactic duel in Revenge of the Sith. While Anakin is getting ready to force-choke Padme, there's a shot of Obi-Wan walking down the ramp of the starship, hands on his hips, sending the nonverbal message "Oh yeah, I am so cool. Time for the showdown, kids." He then proceeds to tell Anakin to let Padme go in the same tone a scolding parent would use to talk their child down from the cookie jar.
At the end of Revenge of the Sith, where Amidala is about to give birth to the twins. A droid doctor approaches Bail and Obi-Wan, saying that although she's healthy, she has lost the will to live and is inexplicably dying. "Medically, there's nothing wrong with her. For some reason, we're losing her." "She's dying?!" lol wut?
Parodied hilariously on the second Robot Chicken Star Wars special with Dr. Ball M.D.
She's lost the will to live?! What is your degree in, poetry?!
Truth in Television: People do die when they have no desire to live, especially on the operating table.
People can die when they've lost the will to live, but there's generally something else, something physical, helping them along. A girl dumped by her boyfriend doesn't just up and die because she can't live without him and what he's become. There are basically two ways to view this scene. One, as a tragic event based on a fairly ridiculous bit of sentimentality. And two, as an unintentional reveal of Padme as a rather selfish person as she basically decides her kids don't need a mother and dies on them because she can't live a happy life with their father.
Padme also had nearly undetectable damage to her windpipe caused by Anakin Force Gripping her, something that wasn't found out for a while after.
"Nearly undetectable?" Anything serious enough to block or puncture the windpipe would be really, really obvious! And how did she give birth... graah!
It's actually simple — it's symbiosis and stated quite clearly throughout the PT. "What happens to one of you will affect the other." And thus, when Anakin and the Republic "die," so does Padmé. Plus, if anything, she was protecting her kids by dying. You really think that Anakin would have stopped chasing after her and let her go had she not been confirmed dead? And I highly doubt that Padmé wanted either of the Sith coming anywhere near her children. By dying, she basically guarded against knowledge of their existence.
But she didn't register his mutilation in Attack of the Clones? Or his Electric Torture in that same movie? Also, you can't just choose to die if your injuries are not lethal, which hers clearly weren't (seeing as "medically, there's nothing wrong with her.") Also, surely the two most competent Jedi masters in the galaxy being, oh, roughly six feet away, might be able to alleviate, notice, or at least comment upon a force link between her and Ani? Whatever Hand Wave Lucas tries to give it, the scene is moronic.
This scene, indeed the entire plot line about Padme dying in childbirth, absolutely reeks of Reed Richards Is Useless. Galactic technology is apparently up to the task of scooping the brain and a handful of organs out of somebody (e.g. General Grievous) and transplanting them into a cyborg body! But women still die in childbirth?! Seriously?! It was even more ridiculous when Anakin first got worked up over it, because in real life Padme's probable reaction would have been to go talk to her obstetrician. But maybe Republic Senators do not have health insurance. Who knows?
Surely one of the more chillingly horrific moments in the Episode 1 DVD commentary occurs when George Lucas (pre-cinema release) confidently tells Steven Spielberg that: "Jar Jar is the key to all this"... *gulp*
There's (another) one bit in Revenge of the Sith that caused the entire theatre to burst out laughing. After Yoda loses the duel to Palpatine, he crawls out a ventilation shaft like a little cat. He's supposed to look really tired and trying to escape, but the way he crawled out was absolutely hilarious.
In Attack of the Clones, C-3P0 having his head placed on a battle droid was pretty amusing. But having him say "This is such a drag" while R2 is dragging his head back to his body, and "I'm quite beside myself" after reaching his body? Just cringeworthy.
"YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!"
Anakin and Padme
The creepy "I hate sand" speech in Episode Two. As StickWars puts it:
"I hate sand. It's so... sandy. But you, Padme. You're not sandy. And that is why I love you."
Mercilessly lampooned throughout the rest of the 4 subsequent movies in their RiffTrax audio tracks.
"Pardon me, grotesque triple amputee, but I'm looking for someone. Roughly your height, with legs of course, petulant attitude, wanted to rule the galaxy, probably won't find him on any beaches?"
ANY scene in Episode Two where Anakin and Padme are alone.
"Hold me, Anakin. Like you did at the Lake on Naboo".
The scene where they're frolicking at the lake country on Naboo seems like a whole sequence of this, as Padme runs through the fields, her arms extended to the sides, prompting numerous jokes that she looked like she was going to start spinning around and singing "The hills are alive with The Sound of Music/Gungans/Jar-Jar/[insert something Naboo-related here]!" Anakin—moments later—tumbling off one of the animals he was riding and playing dead, followed by Padme's naively perplexed reaction (she seemed to honestly believe that Anakin had just died or gone into a coma, despite it being obvious he hadn't done either) also resulted in jokes along the lines of "Oops! Anakin's dead, the whole original trilogy has now been butterflied out of existence!"
Anakin's speech about being in pain whenever he's around Padme earlier in the scene was worse. But... it's a George Lucas love story, so what are you gonna do?
Her mixed signals began long before that number. He's not exactly subtle about his attraction to her. She denies liking him like that; then she takes him to a beautiful, secluded lake house retreat with no one else around for miles. What is wrong with this picture?
While wearing a semi-sheer, white, backless gown no less. This is lampshaded in the "Tag & Bink" comics. The titular characters are (non-canon) Padawans who are helping to coach Anakin on how to get Padme. When Anakin strikes out on his attempt to go in for a kiss, one of the boys wonders if maybe she really isn't into Anakin. The other responds by pointing out the dress she's wearing and snarks that she's "playing with a loaded Sabaac deck!"
This romantic little gem:
"You're so beautiful!" "That's only because I'm so in love." "No. No, its because I'm so in love with you." "So love has blinded you?" "Well, that's not exactly what I meant." "But it's probably true."
"Love cannot save you. Only my new powers can do that." It's the matter-of-fact way Anakin says it. He might as well have said, "Santa Claus didn't give you those presents. I bought them all."
"I won't let you die in childbirth."
Anakin Skywalker in the third prequel had entire cinemas guffawing during the long-awaited and hammed-up birth scene of the twins. Almost making it to Tear Jerker status was the part where Amidala gives birth to the twins and then dies; but it was wrecked by Darth Vader screaming "NOOOO" in the weirdest voice and intonation, destroying any viewer's investment in the scene.
Even before the "NOOOOO!!!", we see Anakin being operated on cut alongside Padme's birthing of the twins. Anakin's pained screams as they operate on him sound exactly like his typical cries of Wangsting. Hearing James Earl Jones saying lines befitting Hayden's version of the character is pretty funny as well.
"I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend!"
Was he serious?
Not if anything to say about it, I have!
The above is perhaps the worst, most narmy line ever spoken in all of Star Wars.
Palpatine's line is especially silly when you realize than he wasn't waiting a long time for this moment. If Commander Gree had executed Order 66 successfully Yoda would have been shot dead on Kashyyyk, rather than making it to Coruscant to confront Sidious.
Palpatine is blasting Mace Windu with Sith lightning, and calls him a "traitor". Mace Windu replies with "he... is the traitor... AAAAHH-aaahhh-ahh!", which is supposed to sound like he's using all his effort to repel the lightning, but it just sounds silly. It sounded more like he was constipated.
Hell, even Palpatine's angry denial of being called a traitor. "No... Nooo... NOOOO YOU ARE THE TRAITOR!" And has this child like expression that reminds me of a kid saying that he in fact is not a poopy-head.
When Palpatine and Yoda are duelling in the senate, and Yoda stops Palpatine throwing a hoverthingy at him, then throws it back, Palpatine actually stops in order to flick his hand and growl in frustration.
Also, Palpatine's evil laughter being interrupted, and him sounding like he's going "Huh?" with a shocked expression when Yoda repels the hoverseat back at him.
The bit in Episode Three where Palpatine claims to be the Senate might be a little too Louis XIV.
The entire dialogue Palpatine spouted during Mace Windu's "assassination" attempt is hilariously delivered at times.
"Help me! I am weak!" Delivered by a guy who just used a dark side power that proves he's the dark lord.
His intonation of "I'm too weak" makes him sound mildly annoyed rather than afraid for his life. Honestly, he sounds like he's struggling to move furniture or something.
Not to mention the face Palpatine pulls after killing Mace Windu, which makes him look like he just climaxed. Given his habit of being Drunk on the Dark Side, he probably did.
Palpatine's face post-disfiguration is like this for the rest of the movie. Everytime they cut to his face during the Yoda face-off, he makes a leering crazy old man face and it is hilarious every time.
Actually, Palpatine only really looks menacing with his hood on. The weird design for the wrinkling on his forehead makes him look like an enormous talking man-scrotum. This was lampshaded by Robot Chicken:
"Oh my God, I look like I've got a scrotum for a face! I mean, what are people supposed to call me now? Darth Syphilis?!"
While Palpatine is leering over Anakin while knighting him a Sith in Episode 3, his actor grunts out his lines like he came in his pants mid-line.
"THE FORCE IS STR-R-R-RONGG WITH YOU!!!"
It's made worse by Ian McDiarmid's eyes rolling to the back of his head.
The amount of times he creepily says "Gooooooood" doesn't much help either.
This isn't entirely Ian McDiarmid's fault. His voiced was altered in post-production to give it a deeper, "more evil" sound.
Let's just say there are re-edits of that scene which are NSFW and which put a whole Brokeback Mountain spin on the scene we're pretty sure was unintentional. Then again given this is the same film series that gave us (un?)intentional Brother-Sister Incest due to writing backflips.
The rest of the scene makes it sound like Palpatine has an abnormally large loogie in his throat, especially the "Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy" line.
Palpatine seemed to be making-up Darth Vader's name on the spot.
What did you expect, Palpatine pulling out a licensed Sith book about Darth names?
According to the novelization that's what he was actually doing — searching the Force for the name that best reflected Anakin.
Ep IV had the first appearance (by film release) of the now-infamous Skywalker Whining Gene.
"Biggs is right, I'm NEVER gonna get out of here!"
"I was going to go to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converterrrrs!" is Narm of the whiny variety.
Robot Chicken improved it by showing us that Tosche Station is a strip club and The Power Converters are dancers.
"I thought you said this thing was fast!"
"What's that flashing?!" *POINT*
Saved when Han slaps his hand away. (Don't touch it if you don't know what it is, kid.)
Anakin put the gene through its paces. Luke grew out of it by Return of the Jedi, but Anakin couldn't drop it until he had it burned out of him (literally). Or else the suit kills the whine of a person's voice. Either way, it seems to work.
An Ewok dies; his companion shakes him to try to wake him, and then starts mourning. This was considered hilarious by a large number of fans. The Ewok is now nicknamed 'Corpsey'.
Well, the Conversion Gel did look awful suspicious...
The Red Leader's death in A New Hope. As he's being shot down, we see him screaming in a forced way. He's smiling!
In A New Hope, the heroes run into a squadron of Stormtroopers on the Death Star, they shout "Blast them!", Han fires off a single shot and the Stormtroopers turn and run.
Explained reasonably well in the novel:
"Startled by the totally unexpected assault and wrongly assuming their attacker knew what he was doing, the stormtroopers began to back away. Several wild shots from the Corellian's pistol initiated complete panic. Ranks and composure shattered, the troopers broke and fled down the passage."
Reasonably well?! That just makes it look like an entire squadron worth of over-impressionable schoolgirls... Oh, wait.
Return of the Jedi, Leia gets shot in the shoulder by a Stormtrooper. Incredibly absurd because she's in plain sight, does not notice him, doesn't move, and he takes the time to pause and aim at her, but he still only gets her in the shoulder. Obi-wan was right, blasters are clumsy and random!
The DVD commentary for the original trilogy shows how Carrie Fisher saw the destruction of Alderaan: the planet simply vanishing while a guy on set yelled BOOM! Naturally, it was a challenge for her to restrain herself from laughing.
The 2004 DVD release of the old trilogy gives us Darth Vader, who used to be known as the epitome of evil and just downright badass, with a pink lightsaber. Hilarity Ensues. It's either that or you are totally angry at George Lucas for releasing unfinished, half-assed crap like that. Also kind of a Wall Banger, since they had the time to add and change all sorts of stuff, but they didn't have the time to check if the color correction looked good or not.
In Return of the Jedi, a Y-Wing pilot in Gray Squadron gets shot down. Before he crashes into the bridge of a Star Destroyer, he screams "I'm hiiiiit!" where "hit" sounds like "heeeeeet".
OH MY GOD! For unfamiliar readers, in the VHS/DVD version, this used to sound like a high pitched, bellowing roar - no problems there. For the Blu-Ray (inexplicably), this has now been changed to something that can only be described as sounding like an outraged homosexual.
So camp! Instead of a roar, it's more like "Oooooohhhhh there's a sale on at River Island!!"
What did I just hear! "Outraged homosexual" was a great description. I listened to it about 7 times, laughing the entire time. It honestly sounds like they didn't use any sort of artificial sound and someone is actually making that noise into a microphone. And what is up with that pulsing they add.
But at least its so funny to listen.
Once described to this editor by a friend — who specified that he was not, in fact, exaggerating — as the sound of "a gorilla having a railroad spike hammered up its ass."
How, HOW did this get approved?? You would have thought that at least one of "Uncle George's" minions would have voiced concern. This is right up there with Vader's Big "NO!" in terms of utterly baffling sound effect decisions.
In A New Hope, Vader's line "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force" is important for introducing viewers to the then-new concept underlying much of the series, but the way Vader says it has a little bit of this. His casual tone as he addressed a Moff with this important line makes it sound as if he was helpfully informing him about a new pie recipe he'd discovered, rather than expositing about the central metaphysical concept underlying the entire saga. ** What's worse, this is also supposed to be menacing, him sternly warning the Moff of his ridiculously arrogant attitude, yet the delivery doesn't add much menace at all. The bit directly after it, however...
The remastered sarlacc has a beak. George Lucas said he wanted it to have a beak so it would look more alive, but the end result makes it look like a bird stuck in a toilet. The shots of Jabba's guards getting eaten look pretty ham-fisted as well, seeing as they all just happen to fall straight into its gullet despite the sarlacc's throat being much too narrow to do that now.
One of the Narmiest aspects of the expanded universe is the mercilessPlanet of Hats box-ticking exercise that is applied to any and all members of the various human and alien races expanded upon. Authors will take the one mention a race or species has in the movies and expand it to be true for all members of that race or species. Leia says Alderaan has no weapons? They're all pacifists. Many Bothans died to get the Death Star plans? All Bothans are spies. Han says to never tell him the odds? All Corellians hate statistical analysis - this one being particularly Narmy and based on one line, said in context, very much in keeping with one character's personality, applied to a whole race of people... cringe-inducing.
In the New Jedi Order, Supreme Commander Pellaeon, talking to Leia Organa Solo about his garden, ends up using extremely heavy-handed garden metaphors to demonstrate what looks like the difference between Imperial and New Republic governing styles. Pellaeon is usually not this absurd.
"From a garden one learns to cull the weak and unfit and to encourage the strong and vigorous. An inferior bud soon feels the strength of my pinch!"
There's a novel in that series where Pellaeon's Empire has a tremendous victory against the Vong; the Vong commander has a whole rant about retribution which Pellaeon interrupts by saying that the Vong's threats are as empty as their boasts are shallow. How he caps his Shut Up, Hannibal! moment is a Crowning Moment Of Awesome to most, purest cheese to some.
"You may win the occasional battle against us, Vorrik, but the Empire will always strike back."
In Michael Stackpole's X-Wing Series novels, viewpoint characters have a tendency to go from thinking about something to suddenly talking about it out loud to themselves. Sometimes, this looks awkward.
The Rogues go to the prison planet Kessel to fetch some criminals that they can turn loose on the Empire. This includes one of Corran's personal enemies, a crime lord who Corran sent to Kessel in the first place, who had been taken down in part because his diamond-shaped Hellish Pupils gleamed in the dark. Corran tells him that if he blows his chance and turns against the New Republic, he will be tracked down. Again, not Narm. But again, Corran ruins the moment by how he says it.
"No matter where you go, I'll find those double diamonds of yours. Count on it."
Said villain (Zekka Thyne) is an alien with dark blotches across his skin. This earned him the less than threatening nickname "Patches".
Stackpole manages to give his Big Bad a bit of Narm too. The Rebels call Madam Director Ysanne Isard 'Iceheart'. She expresses interest in turning one of the Rogues to her side via brainwashing, and her subordinate, who has a history with that Rogue, says that it's a bad idea because playing with Corran Horn is playing with fire. Her response?
"I am Iceheart, I do not burn."
Yet again, a reasonable sentiment is phrased poorly.
Kirtain Loor, in general, though some of it may be intentional, since it's driven home again and again that he's not as good as he thinks he is. In practically every book that features him, he thinks about how people have said that he looks like a younger, taller Grand Moff Tarkin. In The Krytos Trap, he also puts on a hooded cloak and imagines himself to look like "a pale imitation of Darth Vader" (which itself is problematic). He's hoping to inspire Vaderian terror in someone. He does scare the intended person, but it's clear that this happens because his agents just violently broke into the man's house and threatened him.
Many, MANY of the more "introspective" parts of the Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series (by Scholastic, naturally) are full of this — specifically, the parts where Anakin or Obi-Wan wangst about what their Master thinks of them.
The Boba Fett miniseries Enemy of the Empire features Fett hunting a bounty to a hermitage run by a really narmy group called the Ancient Order of Pessimists, who sporadically cry things like, "Woe, woe and seven times woe!"
Palpatine fighting Luke completely naked. It doesn't help it's his new young body, because for some reason Palpatine forgot to clone his... lightsaber and two thermal detonators, if you know what I mean.
Palpatine posing as a frail old traveler to get into Leia's room within Onderon's palace. He used to be The Emperor, goddammit.
The recurring Anzati species are a race of genuinely creepy space vampire assassins who have prehensile tentacles which uncoil from pouches in their cheeks and go through their victims' noses to consume their brain matter. Unfortunately, they also eat their victims' luck, which is narmily referred to as "soup". The result is lines like (from the first Essential Guide to Characters profile on Dannik Jerriko):
"Only one employer, his first, ever complained about Jerriko's price. He drank his soup. The man died."
The Star Wars Audio Dramas, which are audio dramas of the original trilogy, are overall excellent. Pretty much every bit of the action has to be narrated by someone on the scene, usually playing Captain Obvious. To the writers' credit, they make most of it seem pretty natural - but there are definitely times when it seems forced. One prominent example is during the ESB one, while Luke wanders around Hoth after escaping the wampa.
Return of the Jedi's audio drama makes the entire confrontation between Luke, Vader, and the Emperor incredibly narmy in this way. It doesn't help that the voice actor they picked for the Emperor is a cheerful Large Ham, not a malicious-sounding one.
The image of Admiral Thrawn with a yslamiri on his shoulder kinda spoils his whole steely cold evil air. It's like how a pirate can't be taken seriously with a parrot perched on his shoulder.
Zahn was probably going for something like Right-Hand Cat, given that Thrawn strokes the ysalamiri more than once.
To be fair, in the books he never carries ysalamiri like that. They're in carry-harnesses or in frames over his chair; they have to have something that their fingers have grown into, or they die. Whenever he touches one, it's to quietly remind people like Joruus C'baoth that with it there, Jedi powers can't touch him. The comic and official art of him decided to change things.
Rebel Assault: There are some interesting moments of Narm, like when Jamison Jones (who played and voiced Rookie One in the second game) says "TIE Fighter" at one point. Some found it hilarious, because he pronounced "TIE Fighter" in the nerdiest way possible. Then again, the character is supposed to be a farm boy from Tatooine, so that probably would make him... nerdy.
You are all traitors to the Empire. You will be interrogated. Tortured. You will give me the names of your friends and allies. Andthenyouwilldie.
From the same game, when Vader seemingly turns on Starkiller and starts attacking him, Palpatine goes ecstatic, and yells "YES! YES! Kill him!" in a tone that makes him sound less like a quietly menacing force and more like a mentally ill old coot who sounds like he's about to start hopping up and down and clapping his hands.
From Darth Plagueis, when Palpatine gives in fully to the Dark Side for the first time to kill his entire family, the line is:
Raising his face to the ceiling, he shouted, "We're all in this now!"
I hope his apprenticeship spent a long time working on his Pre Ass Kicking One Liner skill. Although given some of the other examples listed on this page, he may never have gotten it right.
In Knights of the Old Republic, when Darth Bandon is first introduced, the proceeds to force electrocute some random Sith troopers for no reason at all other than to show off how hardcore and evil he is. It's quite... forced.
There is one Wookie in the Expanded Universe with a speech impediment. The impediment somehow makes it easier to understand the groaning, growling, roaring language the Wookies speak, but has no other effect. No explanation is ever given for how this actually works, they just have Leia mention that he's really the only Wookie she's ever been able to talk to without wondering what the damn thing's saying. They actually write his lines in "Basic" (English, or whatever language you're reading the book in), just to illustrate how he is so much easier to understand, while every other Wookie has to rely on someone responding to them (which gives you a basic idea of what they just said) or outright repeating what they said.
The guy who funded the creation of the four IG-88 droids did it so that he would get a bonus to pay for a nose reduction surgery. Considering that, by the end of the IG-88 story in "Tales of the Bounty Hunters", IG-88 almost takes over the universe from the computer core of the second Death Star, his personal appearance problems seem a little... petty. Especially considering that the nose thing is written as the character's only real character trait, and it's mentioned that he doesn't have many friends because he's upset about the size of his schnoz; puts the whole thing into focus, don't you think?
While how Grievous fights varies from appearance to appearance, how he fights on Coruscant (right before the siege, covered in a novel) features him using both arms and both legs to wield lightsabers, while hover-tech IN HIS ASS holds him in the air to allow this fighting style. It's just so hard to take him seriously after that...
Darth Krayt, of the Star Wars: Legacy series, making all sorts of angry faces and shouting on live TV (well, Holo Net) before ordering genocide of Dac.
Thrawn's very name can inspire a little of this from Scottish readers or others familiar with the vocabulary word 'thrawn', meaning either 'crooked' or 'ill-tempered', which does rather detract from the man's menace.